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[DEXTER] Take a knife to this thread, it's finished.
joshofalltrades
Class TraitorSmoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
Class TraitorSmoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
So there's this show that I heard about the other day, it's called Dexter. There's this dude who is a forensic blood splatter analyst for the Miami Police Department, which is kind of cool I guess. But he also kills people, which is awesome! But he doesn't kill people who haven't done something horrendous, which is righteous.
And there's this chick who is his sister, and she works for the force too as an officer, which is rad. Sometimes she ends up investigating things that Dexter is close to, though, which is awkward.
And there is this hardcore dude named SGT. JAMES DOAKES MOTHERFUCKER and he's a badass and he's the only guy who suspects Dexter of being a serial killer, which is scary sometimes.
Oh and there's this scrawny little guy named Vince Masuka, and he also works in forensics, which is sweet. He's also a total perv, which is hilarious.
And hey this is Dexter's wife Rita, who is a total hottie. I'd do unspeakable things with her, which is too much information.
And in this new season John Lithgow is a special guest star and he's naked sometimes, which is gross.
So the new season starts on Sunday. I've already seen 401 but I'll likely watch it again because it was completely ripshit awesome. Who's with me?
One more thing. Within this spoiler lies the ending of the entire series. It was just posted by accident on the Showtime player and captured by a quick viewer. OPEN THIS SPOILER AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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god I can't wait for new episodes of this show
We go in. We eat. We out before the cheesecake. You got it?
Season 2 spoilers:
Also Deb is so much fun.
As for the season premiere
Coran Attack!
Man, they have this thing that's even better than books now called TeeVee. It has moving pictures and everything.
Do you know how the books explain Dexter's urge to kill?
I'm not kidding at all about this.
And I think Deb is attractive too, but Rita is all kinds of sexay. Gentlemen prefer blondes or something.
Deb has man features and no upstairs.
But it'd still hit um both.
Yeah, but the crazy.
I..what
UGH..... what.
No.. just... No.. To each his own I guess.
But no.
Resident 8bitdo expert.
Resident hybrid/flap cover expert.
(unless she was going to vomit up the crackers afterward, freaking bulimics)
PS4:MrZoompants
There's also that, IIRC,
also how can you not find the fact that Lithgow sat naked in a tub with his victim while she bled out
i can't edit to spoiler that cuz i'm a criminal, i'm sorry
i'm sorry
Also, Valerie Cruz (Sylvia Prado) is clearly the correct answer.
I mean, Jesus, Doakes was able to figure him out and he wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the shed (for example, reacting to Dexter's INTIMATE headbutt by tackling him IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY) or leaving the country with Dexter's slide collection in his trunk.
Well, Doakes only truly found out because he was acting on pure suspicion to the detriment of his entire life. Nobody else gets that vibe from Dex in the same way, and it seems to me that if anybody even slightly suspects something dark in him they just kind of brush it off. Only after practically losing his job by following those instincts did Doakes figure him out.
Nope. Every word was true. Please save yourself the anguish of reading it.
The 2nd book is okay, though.
On Doakes:
He was blown up and they found what was left of his upper torso floating in the nearby bog.
They could be like awesome sidekicks in Dexter: The Animated Series, Saturday mornings at 10. And Doakes would have his awesome catchphrase that we all wait to hear. And Dexter would be killin' peeps while Doakes just rolls his eyes and says, "Not again!" and sad trombone "Wah wah wahhhhh" plays.
It's funny because that Dranomicon guy in these forums literally thought that was a good angle for the show.