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Two hours to not look like an A-hole (girl thread kinda?)
ANTVGM64
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Howdy there, I find myself faced with a kind of odd situation.
First, backstory.
There is this girl I know, lets call her Merri. She's cool, funny, out there, full of life, we had a ton in common whatever. So of course I have to fuck it up by having a big ole crush on her. I really dug her a whole bunch over the course of the past year. The kind of whole bunch that makes you feel like a moron, ya know?
So we were at a party, I was drunk, She was going on about there were bunches of guys that liked her, and told her I "liked her" too, because apparently I'm in seventh grade and have no tact. She pretty much shuts me down in the nicest way possible. The next day she pretends like nothing happened at all. She was drunk, so perhaps she forgot, but I doubt it.
Flash foward a couple of weeks. I am hanging out with my buddy Dennis. We get along pretty well, have a lot in common, games, comics, what have you - he was quickly becoming my go to buddy. I told him of my somewhat strong like for Merri. We were both drunk, and we kind of bonded over our lack of luck with the ladies and such, and I felt we had some kind of moment of male bonding.
Fast forward, last Thursday.
Me, Him, her, and his room mate are all getting hammered and being silly and what have you. Merri and Dennis start making out and being drunken slobs. I notice this out of the corner of my eye. I had been drinking pretty heavily because I had a rough week. Stuff at home, school, I got a huge bill I don't know how I'll pay, lots of stuff piling up, so I drank a lot (bad idea, I know).
Now here's where I feel like something of an asshole. I want to go home. I live in a big city and felt kind of bad leaving Merri to her own devices and to navigate home on her own, but she's a big girl and I wanted to go home. So I informed the entire gang I was headed out.
Merri balks and asks me to stay, it's only 1am. I say fine, I honestly didn't mind.
I pass out on the couch and wake about 45 minutes later in the gnarliest mood ever. Headache, angry, irritable, I can barely stand. Merri and I take off for the train.
I let a buncha stuff that's been bugging me out. Stuff that had been nagging at me for literally years that I never told anyone, it just all pours out. I mean I've confided in her before, but typically it's about external stuff, I was talking about my learning disability and how my mom kept it from me, how without me home the family seems to hate eachother, really big stuff that I typically keep to myself. I don't mention her and Dennis' business, because it really isn't my place.
Anyway, today she wants to "talk" to me about what happened Thursday.
Here are my fears:
1) She thinks my bad mood and angry drinking was inspired by her and Dennis's trangressions. I do NOT want to be that guy, want her to think I'm that guy, or think I even know a guy like that.
2) I am kind of pissed at my friend Dennis for successfully macking it with the girl I liked? I know it's not my business and nothing was there in the first place between her and me, but it's still a bit of a dick move in my opinion - I'm mad at myself for being mad at Dennis - and I'm afraid he caught on.
3) My biggest fear is that these two get together, Dennis tells Merri about how much I liked her (which really could be construed as a creepy amount, I think), and I'm out a friend.
4) I think my biggest thing is that aside from him being a little less round in some places and having more facial hair, we're kinda the same guy. The biggest difference is that I've been a gentlemen, opting not to get all grabby and kissy when hammered, and he did, and he was justly rewarded.
So, PA, it's a fucked up situation, and Merri is calling me in an hour to "Talk" about it, whatever that means.
I just want to keep my friend, lol.
I suppose I should also note two things: One, Dennis's room mate is also a good friend of mine, and knows of my feelings for Merri, and my discontent at that night. Two, I already talked to Dennis since, but we just bullshitted about KOTOR and kept shit light, so I'm not too worried about bad blood there.
First, backstory.
There is this girl I know, lets call her Merri. She's cool, funny, out there, full of life, we had a ton in common whatever. So of course I have to fuck it up by having a big ole crush on her. I really dug her a whole bunch over the course of the past year. The kind of whole bunch that makes you feel like a moron, ya know?
So we were at a party, I was drunk, She was going on about there were bunches of guys that liked her, and told her I "liked her" too, because apparently I'm in seventh grade and have no tact. She pretty much shuts me down in the nicest way possible. The next day she pretends like nothing happened at all. She was drunk, so perhaps she forgot, but I doubt it.
Flash foward a couple of weeks. I am hanging out with my buddy Dennis. We get along pretty well, have a lot in common, games, comics, what have you - he was quickly becoming my go to buddy. I told him of my somewhat strong like for Merri. We were both drunk, and we kind of bonded over our lack of luck with the ladies and such, and I felt we had some kind of moment of male bonding.
Fast forward, last Thursday.
Me, Him, her, and his room mate are all getting hammered and being silly and what have you. Merri and Dennis start making out and being drunken slobs. I notice this out of the corner of my eye. I had been drinking pretty heavily because I had a rough week. Stuff at home, school, I got a huge bill I don't know how I'll pay, lots of stuff piling up, so I drank a lot (bad idea, I know).
Now here's where I feel like something of an asshole. I want to go home. I live in a big city and felt kind of bad leaving Merri to her own devices and to navigate home on her own, but she's a big girl and I wanted to go home. So I informed the entire gang I was headed out.
Merri balks and asks me to stay, it's only 1am. I say fine, I honestly didn't mind.
I pass out on the couch and wake about 45 minutes later in the gnarliest mood ever. Headache, angry, irritable, I can barely stand. Merri and I take off for the train.
I let a buncha stuff that's been bugging me out. Stuff that had been nagging at me for literally years that I never told anyone, it just all pours out. I mean I've confided in her before, but typically it's about external stuff, I was talking about my learning disability and how my mom kept it from me, how without me home the family seems to hate eachother, really big stuff that I typically keep to myself. I don't mention her and Dennis' business, because it really isn't my place.
Anyway, today she wants to "talk" to me about what happened Thursday.
Here are my fears:
1) She thinks my bad mood and angry drinking was inspired by her and Dennis's trangressions. I do NOT want to be that guy, want her to think I'm that guy, or think I even know a guy like that.
2) I am kind of pissed at my friend Dennis for successfully macking it with the girl I liked? I know it's not my business and nothing was there in the first place between her and me, but it's still a bit of a dick move in my opinion - I'm mad at myself for being mad at Dennis - and I'm afraid he caught on.
3) My biggest fear is that these two get together, Dennis tells Merri about how much I liked her (which really could be construed as a creepy amount, I think), and I'm out a friend.
4) I think my biggest thing is that aside from him being a little less round in some places and having more facial hair, we're kinda the same guy. The biggest difference is that I've been a gentlemen, opting not to get all grabby and kissy when hammered, and he did, and he was justly rewarded.
So, PA, it's a fucked up situation, and Merri is calling me in an hour to "Talk" about it, whatever that means.
I just want to keep my friend, lol.
I suppose I should also note two things: One, Dennis's room mate is also a good friend of mine, and knows of my feelings for Merri, and my discontent at that night. Two, I already talked to Dennis since, but we just bullshitted about KOTOR and kept shit light, so I'm not too worried about bad blood there.
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ANTVGM64 on
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If she's anything like one of my exes, she'll tell you this and then never call, then wonder why you're so annoyed later.
Anyway, I imagine the conversation will be about my pissy mood that night, or her feeling bad for making out with the kid in my presensce, which would make me feel ten times worse.
The other problem is that we're pretty close friends, in class together, doing a project together, et all. So time away is kind a no go.
Facebook: MeekinOnMovies
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My 10 commandments of game reviewing
7 Great Games Playing Watch_Dogs will remind you of/url]
Far Cry 4: 10 Essential Features it Must Have
10 Videogames Ruined By The Hype
Calm down and keep your mind focused on what is actually happening, not what you fear has happend or may happen.
As for her "choosing" the other guy - as you said he didn't get to make out with her on his own devices, booze was involved. And perhaps she doesn't want to do that with you because she DOES consider you a friend. . .a GOOD friend. I know it sucks, but sometimes people do value that more than a "relationship". I hear people say all the time "Man we get a long so well. . .and its so great spending time together - how come she doesn't want me as a boyfriend. . ." - and the answer is simple. . .because the friendship is infinitely more valuable than introducing THOSE kinds of problems into the dynamic. You can fuck up royally as a friend, and still be able to salvage that bond in the end. . .not so much as a lover.
As for the dude making out with the girl. . .hes a dick. Bro-Code.
I think I'm blowing this up to be nothing, I'ma play it cool and see where it goes. Thanks' y'all.
Facebook: MeekinOnMovies
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My 10 commandments of game reviewing
7 Great Games Playing Watch_Dogs will remind you of/url]
Far Cry 4: 10 Essential Features it Must Have
10 Videogames Ruined By The Hype
Yes, a drunken rant can make you look rude, but not necessarily an asshole. Ignoring the rant the next time you talk to the person as if nothing ever happened, and expecting them to ignore it as well, that makes you an asshole. So own up to the situation. As long as you don't say you love her more than anything in the world and want to get married and have children with her, she probably won't find it creepy.
Add me to the list of 'curious'.
wtf OP...update?
What a load of my nuts. She was just curious if I knew anything about what happened. They made out that night, then a few days later hung out and the guy, Dennis, couldn't get it up (likely nerves). She was curious what she should do.
Phew.
Facebook: MeekinOnMovies
Twitter: Twitter.com/MeekinOnMovies
My 10 commandments of game reviewing
7 Great Games Playing Watch_Dogs will remind you of/url]
Far Cry 4: 10 Essential Features it Must Have
10 Videogames Ruined By The Hype
Facebook: MeekinOnMovies
Twitter: Twitter.com/MeekinOnMovies
My 10 commandments of game reviewing
7 Great Games Playing Watch_Dogs will remind you of/url]
Far Cry 4: 10 Essential Features it Must Have
10 Videogames Ruined By The Hype
But from now, try to not be involved as much as possible between your two friends. It sucks being caught in the middle at the best of times, and with you having feelings for her it will be even worse.
So yeah, try to be avoid being involved as much as humanly possible.
ummmm... did he know that this was the same girl that he was making out with at the party?
Because if he didn't ask you if it was cool that's a pretty dick move on his part.
A good female friend of yours, to whom you've expressed feelings for but were shot down, drunkenly makes out with one of your best friends infront of you... inconsiderate, but they were drunk and there's nothing between you and her besides friendship so I'll give it a pass.
BUT! asking your advice after she tried to fuck him but he couldn't get it up, and what should she do? Man that's a bit harsh. I mean not only is that probably awkward for YOU, but for your male friend as well.
If you had failed to get it up the first time you tried to has sex with a chick and then she turned around and discussed the failure with your best friend wouldn't that embarrass/piss you off?
What is she thinking? Lets kick up as much drama inducing bullcrap as possible by putting both these guys in uncomfortable situations?
No, it's not. The OP doesn't own this girl. She and the friend can do whatever the hell they want. They don't need his permission. But this is exactly why I said he should consider dialing back the friendship... possibly both friendships. OP, you really don't want to be the guy she comes to and talks about your friend dick. Not if you have feelings for her. That's just going to breed resentment and bitterness. If you're going to continue the friendship, you at least need to set some boundaries.
Seriously.
Chick needs to be dropped.
"Hey, I know you like me and all that, but I'm digging on your best friend and he can't even get it up...what should I do?"
"Well...you could fuck off."
Or "It sounds like his dick is just observing standard bro code. Give it a fist-bump for me the next time you see it."
PSN/XBL: Zampanov -- Steam: Zampanov
It has nothing to do with ownership, it's about respect. If my bro was pouring his heart out to me about a girl one week, I sure as hell would not drunkenly hook up with her at a party the next week because I expect a similar level of courtesy from a friend.
Not to say you can put an indefinite hold on a girl, but definitely a dick move that no doubt played a part in the girl-rage the OP pulled on the train.
Best call for a cock-punching I've ever seen.
but yes, that is good
See that's another thing, because he knew I liked her, but I think he had liked her for a bit too - so I don't think it was a random hook up as much as him making out with the girl he had a crush on, ya know?
Facebook: MeekinOnMovies
Twitter: Twitter.com/MeekinOnMovies
My 10 commandments of game reviewing
7 Great Games Playing Watch_Dogs will remind you of/url]
Far Cry 4: 10 Essential Features it Must Have
10 Videogames Ruined By The Hype
In front of you.
That's not cool.
I've dicked a guy over before. It happens. But there's a difference between dicking a guy over, and dicking him over and rubbing his face in it. One is selfish, the other is selfish, unthoughtful, and inconsiderate.