I think i might have BPD....[NSFW]

Worstaltever

Hi, it's a forum regular here, and I think I might have a personality disorder.

I've been struggling with my life since pretty much the past eight years or so, and I think i might suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder.

from wikipedia wrote:

Diagnostic criteria (DSM-IV-TR = 301.83)
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines borderline personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster as:[37]

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, as well as marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:[24]
frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5
a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5
recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injuring behavior such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself.
affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
chronic feelings of emptiness
inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms

The reason this strikes such a chord with me is due to the fact that I have had a very
chaotic love life. Pretty much I've been persuing a (mostly) sexual relationship with a girl i woked with at a previous job (I'm now unemployed, and have been for a long stretch of time). I previously was dating a girl, and things were going pretty good, but we ended up fighting alot due to her own mental issues, and i eventualy fell into old habits and cheated on her with the married girl (engaging in public sex first outside the library parking lot, then outside in a park). I feel so empty most of the time, alternating between periods of extreme happiness for moments of time, followed by the empty feeling, or depresion. I find myself irritable for no reason at all, sometimes picking fights with friends, and sometimes blowing up over percieved snubs or being skipped over or abandoned. I feel myself getting worse now, and I keep having nightmares and disturbing dreams. I just want to feel normal, and to stop hurting the ones around me.

Clearly Therapy is important at this point, as maybe getting on some medicene. But I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice to help me figure all this out. Am I over-reacting? Griped in the panic of a problem that's not really there?

Hooves

no one but a licensed mental health professional can diagnose you. not you and not us and especially not over the internet. also BPD isn't exactly an easy thing to diagnose either.

If you feel like there's a problem then there is. whether or not it means you have a diagnosable disorder is another story. you may very well just need to do some self exploration and work actively to change your behavior if what you're doing is not working.

go see a therapist.

BEAST!

I agree with the see a doctor thing, we're surely not able to diagnose you in any way. Personally though, it sounds like you're a regular person, and you're just grasping for something else to place the blame on for not being where you want to be in life.

Cognisseur

Titles don't mean jack-shit, and your therapy treatment plan should be centered around what you as an individual are suffering from and benefit from working on, not a title.

That said, BPD is fairly rare among guys, and you didn't really describe anything about yourself that particularly screams BPD. I'm told one pattern that pops up with BPD is sexual abuse, so, got any uncles that played with your pecker as a kid?

Nostregar

As noted, see a doctor.

However, your description sounds more like Bipolar to me.

UncleChet

Nostregar wrote: »

As noted, see a doctor.

However, your description sounds more like Bipolar to me.

I have bipolar disorder and some of what you describe sounds like me. I'm not suggesting we diagnose you over the internet but it's not a death sentance either. See a psychiatrist if you can, or a therapist if you can't. I suggest a psych first, as once you've come to a diagnosis you can get meds prescribed and start on the road to recovery.

Bipolar disorder does have periods of hyper-sexuality as a symptom of mania. Feeling like you are the sexiest, or most sex driven thing in the world. It happens. Oh the stories I could tell (blah!). Anyway, see your doctor, find friends who understand and also look for a support group. Check out mental health america. Check out bphope.com stuff like that. A little education goes a Long way.

Good luck and feel free to chat. But first, see your doctor.

RUNN1NGMAN

Would someone with true borderline personality disorder be able to self-diagnose? Wouldn't someone with borderline personality disorder be blaming their issues on external factors--introspection and spontaneous self-reflection on why you life is off-kilter is pretty much the opposite of what someone with BPD would be doing, I think.

vonPoonBurGer

Hooves wrote: »

no one but a licensed mental health professional can diagnose you

I have a Bachelors in Psych, which qualifies me to diagnose nothing, especially over the internet. It takes ~10 years (bachelors plus masters plus PhD plus residency) to become a clinical psychologist. Reading a wiki or a snippet from the DSM-IV is not an adequate substitute for an evaluation by a qualified professional.

Start by seeing a doctor, OP. Try to get a referral for a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Note that in some places one can call oneself a "therapist" with nothing more than a high school diploma, so be sure you're getting counseled by someone who has both the training and experience to help you with your issues.

As for self-diagnosing, don't do it. Just don't. The tendency of every Psych 101 student is to see the mental conditions they've been studying in themselves and others. Many entries in the DSM-IV can just as easily apply to the fringes of what would be considered normal human behavior. Also, the DSM-IV is many years old now and our understanding of mental health conditions is constantly evolving. Finally, I have my doubts about your self-diagnosis, but I won't argue it here because I'm simply not qualified. All the more reason to get independent confirmation from an qualified expert.

Hevach

In psych 101, an entire month of my assigned reading was just reading one entry after another from catalogs of mental disorders. You've found one disorder that sorta fits your problems, but if you read through pages of disorders like that, you'd probably find sixty that fit these specific problems and a hundred more that just say, "Wow, that sounds kinda like me sorta."

Reading DSM snippets without a firm education in psychiatry is a good way of convincing yourself you're a very, very disturbed individual, the reality is rarely as bad as you'll make it trying to diagnose yourself.

admanb

As for self-diagnosing, don't do it. Just don't. The tendency of every Psych 101 student is to see the mental conditions they've been studying in themselves and others. Many entries in the DSM-IV can just as easily apply to the fringes of what would be considered normal human behavior.

Hevach wrote: »

In psych 101, an entire month of my assigned reading was just reading one entry after another from catalogs of mental disorders. You've found one disorder that sorta fits your problems, but if you read through pages of disorders like that, you'd probably find sixty that fit these specific problems and a hundred more that just say, "Wow, that sounds kinda like me sorta."

Referred to scientifically as "Medical Student's Disease."

Mr Ray

Yeah, I'm going to add my voice to those saying its probably not BPD, but that doesn't mean you don't need help. Its very easy to self-diagnose these things. I've thought I had ADD, was dyslexic, dyspraxic, had bipolar, avoidant, anxiety and dependant personality disorders, I've even got some symptoms of tourrettes. But i've only ever been diagnosed with dyspraxia and depression.

The thing is, these "disorders" more commonly represent personality types or patterns of thought; they're not either-or black or white things. There are degrees. A Dyslexic person has different problems from another Dyslexic person; my Dyslexic housemate just has trouble spelling things, but there are people who are borderline illiterate.

In other words, there is a chance you are "a bit BPD". But more likely you have something less drastic and more common like Bipolar disorder or maybe just depression. I don't mean "just" as in "oh its just depression its not so bad", I know from experience depression can be horrible. I mean "just" less outlandish than the nightmare combinations of neurosis its possible to convince yourself you actually have when depressed.

Dava

RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »

Would someone with true borderline personality disorder be able to self-diagnose? Wouldn't someone with borderline personality disorder be blaming their issues on external factors--introspection and spontaneous self-reflection on why you life is off-kilter is pretty much the opposite of what someone with BPD would be doing, I think.

Yes. The two people I know with BPD are well aware they have a problem, although I doubt either would have identified it as BPD on their own. People with BPD tend to project (I'm not angry; YOU'RE angry). Projection is episodic. Between periods of projection, they're able to see themselves clearly and know something's wrong.

But I repeat what everyone else is saying. Don't try to diagnose yourself.