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Two Gentlemen Of Lebowski
Crazy Larry
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
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= The best thing ever.
I mean, seriously, how can you not like this.
DONALD
Of what dost thou speak, that tied the room together, Knave? Take pains, for I would well hear of that which tied the room together.
WALTER
Didst thou attend the Knave’s tragic history, Sir Donald?
DONALD
Nay, good Sir Walter, I was a-bowling.
WALTER
Thou attend’st not; and so thou hast no frame of reference. Thou art as a child, wandering and strutting amidst the groundlings as a play is in session, heeding not the poor players, their exits and their entrances, and, wanting to know the subject of the story, asking which is the lover and which the tyrant.
THE KNAVE
Come to the point, Sir Walter.
WALTER
My point, then, Knave; there be no reason, if sweet reason doth permit, in enlightenment’s bower—and reason says thou art the worthier man—
DONALD
Yes, Sir Walter, pray, merrily state the fulcrum of thy argument.
THE KNAVE
My colleague, although unfram’d and unreferenc’d, speaks plain and true. That these toughs are those at fault, we are agreed; that I stand wounded, unrevenged, we likewise are agreed; yet you circle the meanings unconstantly, like blunted burrs, unstuck where they are thrown.
WALTER
I speak of aggression uncheck’d, as crowned heads of state once spoke of Arabia—
DONALD
Arabia! Then we have put a girdle round the earth. Of what does Sir Walter speak?
WALTER
Cast it from thy sievelike books of memory, Sir Donald; thou art out of thy element.
DONALD
Mine element?
WALTER
Wherefore was I curs’d only to minister
To congregations held in deafen’d pits?
I must hobble my speech; of elements, sir,
A doctor of physic did once explain
That all the earth is province elemental,
Sure and steady as the stone-wall foursome
A-holding up the Knave’s roof, tied together
By power that we spake on, our traffic
Unmarred by thy rough and idle chatter.
And the complexion of the element
In favour’s like the rug that ties the room.
O, a muse of fire the first element,
Airy breath the second; though this wind
May well be yours for all you flap your tongue,
O ill-dispersing wind of misery!
Thou hast no wings, and, liable to plunge,
You fit not fowl; yet foul your interruption,
Fished for facts, yet fish you cannot be;
So water, elemental third, you’re not,
How much salt water thrown away in waste.
Of earth, no woman left on earth will have thee,
No man of middle earth will tend thy land,
So walk the plains like to a lonely dragon;
I care not.
Also
WALTER
Marry, sir, my heartstrings do you tug;
They urinate upon thy damnèd rug.
But I should stop before I quote the whole damn thing. Apparently it's already being turned into a play after having been posted online only a few days ago, and I anxiously await the (hopefully) inevitable remake of the movie using this script.
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Wherefore thou playest not at ninepins on Saturday, Sir Walter?
WALTER
On our most holy Sabbath I am sworn
To keep tradition, form and ceremony.
The seventh and the last day rests the Jew;
I labour not, nor ride in chariot,
Nor handle gold, nor even play the cook,
And sure as Providence I do not roll.
Hath not a Jew rights? Hath not a Jew hands,
Organs, bowling-balls, Pomeranians?
If you schedule us, must you not do right?
If we step o’er the line, do we not mark it nought?
The Sabbath; I’ll roll not, God-a-mercy.
i like the big lebowski though
OH MY GOD YES
I wish it had been around six years ago.
in the manner of the Spaniard
QUINCE
Well; but be forewarn’d. It reach’d mine ears
That combustible Walter, o’ercome with rage
Did shed good sense, and raise his sword in play.
I fear not such jade’s tricks, an seeing ill,
Would snatch the burden from the jealous knight
And pierce his gizzard with the wrongful steel,
Points up, as said of Coriolanus.
I've been laughing pretty much all through this.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
if I did it do you dudes think we should just ape the costumes from the movie or go proper Shakespearean tights and such
I was wondering the same thing. I think since they went through all the trouble to adapt the sword and such into it, it would play best with more period clothing.
Hahahahahahhaha.
Awesome
yeah, perhaps just use the same colors as the film characters?
And then it was here!
Web2.0 man!
So, no set?
Yet here I am an hour later, reading.
After it was over they asked me what I thought of it my answer after a pause it was rather unique
This is delightful. Truly delightful. It is bringing me back to reading Shakespeare in 4th grade, and the school play of A Comedy of Errors.
Truly delightful.
"he's a nihilist"
"mmm, that must be exhausting"
"Yea, well, that be, forsooth, thy opinion, sir."
Girl on my left, Walter on my right, playing a demo for Diablo 3 at some mall or something. Walter kept talking about "worthy fucking adversaries" and "unchecked aggression."
calmer than you are dude = ?