THE BUSTED PIXEL THREAD

Dano_XmasDano_Xmas Registered User regular
edited March 2010 in Artist's Corner
me and my friends are starting a sketch comedy group that is centered around videogames. i could say more, but im tired, and ill let the videos speak for themselves.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAwLp0lB-_c

Dano_Xmas on

Posts

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Do you really want constructive critique on this.

    Brolo on
  • MangoesMangoes Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    The first two: You spent the majority of the videos building up some sort of hilarious climax that never came. The punch fell flat. Try to sit down and plan out the content of your video from beginning to end. Make sure the funnies are well...funny before you ever take out the camera.

    On the last one: What? I didn't really get the joke, to be honest. Just some stoner "developer" talking about failed ideas? No real joke there besides "heh, drugs".

    EDIT: Also, if you are tired, don't post the thread. Wait until you're not tired. It helps to put some actual content in your post if you want meaningful critiques. If this is just a video-pimp thread, however, it will be locked on very short notice.

    Mangoes on
  • rtsrts Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Actually I thought the first one was kind of funny, but it was awkwardly assembled. Why is he going to sleep in the middle of the day? He obviously already hears the noises when he first wakes up..so why does he try to go to sleep again? I don't think everything has to make perfect sense but I guess I just don't understand what you were trying to do with the guy who says "what the fuck are you doing" throughout the video. The idea of someone dressed like Link literally breaking peoples shit in hopes of finding treasure is humorous but I think everyone knew where you were going and you held off a little long on the delivery, which made me think there was more to it and so I put too much thought into it making the punchline a little disappointing.

    The music cutting in and out with the crashing noises was great though.

    Here is sort of a big thing though, clean your house before making videos like this. It may not seem like a big deal, but disorganized bookshelves or clutter laying around is distracting and unpleasant to look at. Dirty clothes are outright disgusting and make people want to stop watching your video. I suggest trying to simplify your settings as much as possible so the focus is entirely on the characters and what they are doing.

    rts on
    skype: rtschutter
  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    CapnMango wrote: »
    The first two: You spent the majority of the videos building up some sort of hilarious climax that never came. The punch fell flat. Try to sit down and plan out the content of your video from beginning to end. Make sure the funnies are well...funny before you ever take out the camera.
    Yeah. For the first one, the lighting in the bedroom was terrible as well. I really thought it was building up to something interesting, but the punchline was too obvious. It's sort of like referencing GTA by beating up a hooker and carjacking some dude.

    Richard_Dastardly on
    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • Dano_XmasDano_Xmas Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    wow i totally JUST realized that youtube cut off the ending of the guitar hero vid. here's the revised one

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6qEIAt2sbU

    NOW lemme knoe what you think of it

    Dano_Xmas on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    This is serious advice: proof your work, in this case, uploading.

    NibCrom on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    hey dano
    wondering if you're here for crits or just to show the videos?

    this is a forum specifically for getting crits and advice or at the very least engage in some sort of conversation based on your work
    and while we're happy to give to look at and discuss your work with you, typically threads that are just like "hey look what i did" get locked pretty fast
    so is there anything you're aiming to get out of these?
    anything that maybe you feel you need work on or are they just for fun?

    beavotron on
  • Dano_XmasDano_Xmas Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Dano_Xmas on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    beavotron wrote: »
    hey dano
    wondering if you're here for crits or just to show the videos?

    this is a forum specifically for getting crits and advice or at the very least engage in some sort of conversation based on your work
    and while we're happy to give to look at and discuss your work with you, typically threads that are just like "hey look what i did" get locked pretty fast
    so is there anything you're aiming to get out of these?
    anything that maybe you feel you need work on or are they just for fun?

    I would say from the lack of acknowledgement of your post that he's not reading the comments in here actually.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited January 2010
    The lock bomb is quickly falling and can only be defused by acknowledgement of responses by the OP.

    bombardier on
  • Dano_XmasDano_Xmas Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    beavotron wrote: »
    hey dano
    wondering if you're here for crits or just to show the videos?

    this is a forum specifically for getting crits and advice or at the very least engage in some sort of conversation based on your work
    and while we're happy to give to look at and discuss your work with you, typically threads that are just like "hey look what i did" get locked pretty fast
    so is there anything you're aiming to get out of these?
    anything that maybe you feel you need work on or are they just for fun?

    I would say from the lack of acknowledgement of your post that he's not reading the comments in here actually.

    actually, i do look here at your guys comments. and they are very much appreciated. im glad i get feedback, as opposed to no feedback.

    Dano_Xmas on
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Dano_Xmas wrote: »
    beavotron wrote: »
    hey dano
    wondering if you're here for crits or just to show the videos?

    this is a forum specifically for getting crits and advice or at the very least engage in some sort of conversation based on your work
    and while we're happy to give to look at and discuss your work with you, typically threads that are just like "hey look what i did" get locked pretty fast
    so is there anything you're aiming to get out of these?
    anything that maybe you feel you need work on or are they just for fun?

    I would say from the lack of acknowledgement of your post that he's not reading the comments in here actually.

    actually, i do look here at your guys comments. and they are very much appreciated. im glad i get feedback, as opposed to no feedback.

    Feedback in AC is traditionally a two-way thing.

    MKR on
  • Dano_XmasDano_Xmas Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    yeah, im not one of those filmakers who gets pissed if he gets a negative comment. i know my stuff isnt going to appeal to everyone, but we do the best we can

    Dano_Xmas on
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    This is a good thread for you to read. It explains what AC is about and how you can make the most of it.

    MKR on
  • Dano_XmasDano_Xmas Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDyqSgC3FNQ

    our twentieth subscriber sent us this sketch idea so if you dont like it, send hate mail to him. lol

    Dano_Xmas on
  • Ross_CRoss_C Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Dano_Xmas wrote: »
    yeah, im not one of those filmakers who gets pissed if he gets a negative comment. i know my stuff isnt going to appeal to everyone, but we do the best we can

    I believe everyone means you're supposed to acknowledge or respond back to the forum's criticisms. Work with what everyone has been telling you and respond back with a "I'll try more of this" or "What I was trying to get with this is that and I see where you might get confused".

    If you don't want this thread to get locked down you should probably address the critiques people have given you directly.

    As for my own critique, you have a promising sketch video series but it is a bit rough due to pacing and sometimes the jokes just seem kind of "meeeehh". Try to improve pacing and editing.

    The first video really could have been shorter since the final joke isn't as dragged out as much as the beginning. Try and keep the lengths balanced on leadup and the final punchline. If you have to such a huge amount of a buildup for something small it makes the audience seem slightly cheated. I probably would have suggested a longer scene with link, maybe have the dude chase him while link runs away breaking more vases or something. The buildup didn't match the outcome. This so far has been the funniest for me and it is the shortest video you all have.

    Same thing with the second video. The Buildup seems to long, that entire montage of him getting the idea to put on the mask was way too long, Seriously, the audience has understood what he was going to do, dragging out the buildup for a short 5 second scene isn't worth it. But even then, the entire concept of the video just seems to be giving a use to a random gorilla mask you all had, it didn't really scream funny to me.

    The Third video does the same thing, but it actually has some editing in it at some parts, but it's still just long and honestly boring. The "Stoner Guitar Writer" is only funny for awhile before it just gets runned down. Try cutting out stuff and using only the best jokes. This seemed like the worst one. I like Guitar Hero and Rock Band and I found it somewhat amusing, but it just fell kind of flat.

    Your "GameRape" video is actually probably the better videos you all had. It seems to actually fix all of the complaints to a degree and it is actually funny. But it is "You're not alone" not "Your not alone". That bugged me.

    There are alot of areas in your videos where I wanted to just skip ahead because things were being dragged out. Take a notice at most sketch comedy groups. Majority of their best/most popular sketches are ones that are original and don't drag on forever and keep throwing ideas and jokes at the audience to keep them interested.

    Ross_C on
  • Dano_XmasDano_Xmas Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Alright hey everyone this is dan's web series partner and friend julien. Ive been working with dan on the busted pixel sense its started. I just wanted let you guys know that we appreciate your comments/reviews/crits what ever you wanna call them, and we ARE here for those not publicity. Dan and I are very dedicated to the busted pixel and we want to make quality videos that people can enjoy and laugh at. So we really do appreciate your input.


    Ok sooo i agree with most of you with what youve sayed.

    The guitar hero and majora skits were too long.... we realize this and will try to keep are skits pretty short and balanced in the future. These early skits were our first ones sooo we're still just learning.

    But we would like to know what everyone thought of our newer ones "Game Rape" and the 20th subscribers idea. Let us know what we couldve done better or what you liked.

    Thank you for your input I love you all <3

    Dano_Xmas on
  • Dano_XmasDano_Xmas Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
  • EyeshockEyeshock Registered User
    edited March 2010
    Dano_Xmas wrote: »
    I just wanted let you guys know that we appreciate your comments/reviews/crits what ever you wanna call them, and we ARE here for those not publicity.

    It's really hard to believe you when this thread is starting to look like your own personal Facebook. It's pretty obvious you have a folder of bookmarks and you're hitting the OPEN ALL TABS button then shotgun posting it wherever.

    I'll give you my opinion - not that genuinely care because you wanted my click more than my opinion.

    I watched your "Fallout 3" video for as long as I could. And it turns out as long as I could was a little over two minutes. Beyond having the worst repeating soundtrack and stupidest running joke of any sketch video...ever. (Yes Ever. I don't enjoy having a video scream at me every 20 seconds. It's the same reason I don't look at suspicious GIF's strangers send me - I only look at their executables.)

    I honestly think it took you no longer than an hour to make this. I envision the jokes being written like so:
    FRIEND ONE: HEY WHAT SHOULD BE ON TEH CORSPE
    FRIEND TWO: HOW ABOUT DIS DVD I HAV
    FRIEND ONE: OMG THAT'S SUPER FUNNEH

    Beyond scrolling text from a Move Maker, there's a serious lack of effort here in both writing and editing. Watching you "loot a corpse" was about as fun as if I sat around and talked about what I found on corpses in the actual game. I've probably thought about it: and it probably was very similar to your jokes. "Like wow. This super mutant had a comic book - that's weird" - but the difference here Is I don't think my off-hand thought was worth a video.

    The scenary, as described in your youtube video - looks NOTHING like a wasteland. The reason I have YouTube for teh funnehs is because I don't WANT to use my imagination. If I wanted that I'd read a book - but books frighten me with their menacing and intimidating insistence to be operated beyond a power button: so that's not happening.

    If I seem irritated, it's because I genuinely think people put more effort into critiquing your videos than you did writing them. And that's a real damn shame because they're actually making some good suggestions and your only response is ELOHEL HERES THE NEWEST VIDEO GUYS LESSER-THAN-THREE-ME

    More effort. Better writing. JOKES - I mean actual jokes: not just screaming at your viewers. More effort. Better scenary. Go to Hobby Lobby, buy 25 dollars in Green Fabric, download a Key Light Chroma Key, Get the Free Trial of Adobe Premium. More effort.

    More effort.

    Eyeshock on
    pa_paz.jpg
  • JLM-AWPJLM-AWP Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I pretty much agree with everything Eyeshock said. I will say, however, that the acting seemed pretty smooth and I could tell it had been rehearsed. BUT, it just didn't tickle my funny bone at all. Maybe it's the whole video game thing, but just the overall premise here turned me off pretty quickly. I'm not a big Fallout guy so I could be missing some of the jokes, but it may have been better to sort of reveal the game/setting/predator as the video goes on. Give us something to want and wait for - suspense, basically. You laid the whole thing out on a table before you even got started, and I knew exactly what to expect as a result. Not a good way to draw me in.

    Also, the introduction seemed a bit....off, compared to the tone of the rest of the video. I know you were going for over-the-top, but it was still a little much.

    JLM-AWP on
  • Jake!Jake! Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    On a general note, your videos are all so long I've barely managed to watch one all the way through. This isn't because of the length as such, more the lack of any reason for that length.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saqO_ZqX6uY

    On a more specific note, you've given away the punchline of the Zelda video in the first few seconds. Why call it 'Zelda Jars', and why use the Zelda music? It would be like calling a film 'BRUCE WILLIS IS A GHOST.' If you got rid of the bedding track, and changed the title, you'd actually have a good sketch (although it would still be a good sketch that was 6 or so times longer than it needs to be).

    Jake! on
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