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Do or Don't: Inviting a Woman out to Dance Class (CLOSE)

UberFlopUberFlop Registered User regular
edited May 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
There's a woman I work with who I'm interested in seeing, and our shifts/departments are separated enough that I don't think our working together would be an issue. However, she's a very friendly and outgoing person with most people, which is where my problem comes in. It usually seems like she finds ways to come to my department and talk with me whenever she has a chance, but I'm not completely sure if that means anything beyond her normal personableness, so I came up with an (I think) ingenious idea to gauge her interest in me without possibly making things too awkward between us socially and professionally.

I'll be in a friend's wedding in July, and I've only danced twice in my life (when I was 8, and at my senior prom), so I figure I need to learn/improve my dancing ability. I've heard that dance classes are excellent ways to improve one's social skills and meet people, and while I've never been wall-flower shy, I'm nowhere near suave or even as confident as I want to be, so I figure taking dance lessons would be great. However, I'd like to ask this woman out to go with me to the dance class. I figure it's an easy way to get her out of the work setting in as non-threatening a way as possible, and if she's just not interested in me, I have a lot of platonic excuses I could throw out to assuage the situation (we're both tall, so it's supposed to be easier to learn, she's had dance experience, etc.).

Any thoughts on if this is a good idea or not? I think it's a decent idea, but I've never heard of it being done, and I'm not smooth or experienced enough to judge this accurately. I've also got a lot of things I need to work out, too, such as would I pay for her lessons or would she pay for her own?

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Posts

  • GrundlestiltskinGrundlestiltskin Behind you!Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    UberFlop wrote: »
    There's a woman I work with who I'm interested in seeing, and our shifts/departments are separated enough that I don't think our working together would be an issue. However, she's a very friendly and outgoing person with most people, which is where my problem comes in. It usually seems like she finds ways to come to my department and talk with me whenever she has a chance, but I'm not completely sure if that means anything beyond her normal personableness, so I came up with an (I think) ingenious idea to gauge her interest in me without possibly making things too awkward between us socially and professionally.

    You don't need an elaborate plan. Just ask if she wants to get dinner or coffee sometime, or something similar. Asking people out doesn't automatically make things awkward.

    Dance lessons would be a pretty big commitment to someone you only talk to now and again.

    Grundlestiltskin on
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  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Dance class is overboard, too much too quickly and there is no real easy escape for her, and it forces her into physical contact with you which can be very awkward

    ask her out for coffee

    coffee is simple, easy and can last for as long as the two parties are interested

    The Black Hunter on
  • DodgeBlanDodgeBlan PSN: dodgeblanRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    yeah inviting a girl you hardly know to attend dance lessons with you doesn't really scream casual.

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  • UberFlopUberFlop Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Yeah, that makes sense. I''m at work for the overnight shift, so a lot of stuff seems like a good idea right now (buying a chest freezer for storing fish I catch on the fishing trips I don't go on, making my own wine, etc.). Thanks for the input; I'll still take the dance class on my own though, as I'm about as graceful as a ball of trumbones.

    UberFlop on
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  • LieberkuhnLieberkuhn __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    My grandfather tried a similar thing with my grandmother. There was a magician in town who did a trick where he turned his arm into a snake. My granddad decided he'd ask my granny if she'd heard about this act: if she said she had, he'd ask her to show him where it was; if she hadn't, he'd ask if she wanted to see it. Unfortunately, my grandmother didn't realise he was coming on to her and when he mentioned a man who could turn his arm into a snake, she just scoffed at him for making up stupid shit and my granddad was too embarrassed to ask her out again for weeks.

    Just grab a friendly coffee after work.

    Lieberkuhn on
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  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    The guy above me's grandfather was stupid. He was supposed to say "yes it's true, and I will proove i to you"

    He lost his balls plain and simple

    Dance classes would be fine if you were actually good at them already. They are actually fun and extremely casual if you find the right one. Just ask the girl out though, you don't need to trick her. In fact if she falls for a trick to go on a date with you it is probably going to be so goddam hidden she wont even think you are on a date and you'll get a I thought we were friend speech.

    Blake T on
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