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Help me decide my future! (Career and other fun stuff in NJ))
Lankysean
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
About me:
I'm a 27 year old Male from New Jersey. I currently have a job that I hate and very little education. I currently work for a cell phone provider and average about $22/hour if you factor in my commission. I don't have any real future or idea of what I would like to do with my life. I went to collage for just about a year before dropping out, mostly because I kept failing Math. I took the same Math class for 3 semesters and failed 3 times in a row. The last semester I had 3 tutors and failed with a 69 and I just gave up. I don't have a ton of friends (about 3 good ones) but I do have a fiancé who I would do anything for. As a general rule I feel like a total loser, I hate the majority of my life out side of my fiance. My diet is terrible and I don't sleep well at all. My family life is pretty complicated, my mother is a drug addict and my father is an alcoholic but I haven't seen them in many years.
I want:
A good job, I don't really care what it is but I need to be able to be proud of it! I don't really want a ton of money, and I don't really need it. If I could make between $45,000 and $60,000 tops I'd be more then happy with that. I don't really mind working odd hours or strange shifts because I'm generally up pretty late anyway. I had considered some sort of criminal justice program to be a police officer or something like that, but I know the economy is pretty shit right now and a lot of places just aren't hiring. I have also considered medical related jobs such as X-Ray technician and medical billing and coding but a lot of the schools I can find seem kind of shady.
Things I can't or won't do.
I don't really think I'm cut out for collage right now, but I'm not going to rule out some sort of technical school or training classes. My only real qualm is that I don't really want to work retail anymore. Also, I can't really do any manual labor due to a rather bad shoulder injury that I never got fixed... and can't really afford to now.
If anyone know a good way to get a good honorable career without knowing what you wanna do, please post. I'm really getting sick of watching myself get old and more and more useless. I'm looking for career aptitude tests, advice, schools or anything in the new jersey area that might be up my ally. If you need any info at all, please ask I don't mind sharing pretty much any aspect of my life with internet strangers... other then my social security number or credit cards that is.
I'm a 27 year old Male from New Jersey. I currently have a job that I hate and very little education. I currently work for a cell phone provider and average about $22/hour if you factor in my commission. I don't have any real future or idea of what I would like to do with my life. I went to collage for just about a year before dropping out, mostly because I kept failing Math. I took the same Math class for 3 semesters and failed 3 times in a row. The last semester I had 3 tutors and failed with a 69 and I just gave up. I don't have a ton of friends (about 3 good ones) but I do have a fiancé who I would do anything for. As a general rule I feel like a total loser, I hate the majority of my life out side of my fiance. My diet is terrible and I don't sleep well at all. My family life is pretty complicated, my mother is a drug addict and my father is an alcoholic but I haven't seen them in many years.
I want:
A good job, I don't really care what it is but I need to be able to be proud of it! I don't really want a ton of money, and I don't really need it. If I could make between $45,000 and $60,000 tops I'd be more then happy with that. I don't really mind working odd hours or strange shifts because I'm generally up pretty late anyway. I had considered some sort of criminal justice program to be a police officer or something like that, but I know the economy is pretty shit right now and a lot of places just aren't hiring. I have also considered medical related jobs such as X-Ray technician and medical billing and coding but a lot of the schools I can find seem kind of shady.
Things I can't or won't do.
I don't really think I'm cut out for collage right now, but I'm not going to rule out some sort of technical school or training classes. My only real qualm is that I don't really want to work retail anymore. Also, I can't really do any manual labor due to a rather bad shoulder injury that I never got fixed... and can't really afford to now.
If anyone know a good way to get a good honorable career without knowing what you wanna do, please post. I'm really getting sick of watching myself get old and more and more useless. I'm looking for career aptitude tests, advice, schools or anything in the new jersey area that might be up my ally. If you need any info at all, please ask I don't mind sharing pretty much any aspect of my life with internet strangers... other then my social security number or credit cards that is.
Lankysean on
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First things first. Let's address the things you have direct control over, namely health.
You say your diet is shit. Fair enough. Is there a reason, perceived or otherwise, for it? What are you doing to change that?
When you say you don't sleep well, can you be more specific? Do you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or do you just wake up after a full night feeling unrested? What is your daily routine like generally in terms of physical and mental stimulation? Is there a lot of caffeine or sugar in your diet?
Now, for your job situation and possibly increasing friends:
What are you interested in? I'm not talking job titles, but general subjects, activities, hobbies.
My sleep problems stem from a few things. First I have sleep apnea so I tend to stop breathing my sleep. Second I suffer from pretty much none stop pain in my shoulder because afore mentioned injury. And third general stress from work keeps me up some night, not to mention sometimes I don't get home from work till at last as 11 some days. And yea, I can't fall asleep fast, I don't stay asleep (generally because of the apnea) and when I do wake up I'm ALWAYS tired.
My general day: Wake up, I sometimes have to get up to go to work and other times I sleep as late in the day as I can. I generally leave myself about an hour to get up and get to work, so if I have work I take a shower and do all the normal morning stuff. I go to work, do my general work duties like dealing with the general public. After work I go right home and then watch tv, play video games and do internets. Once a week I go out with friends to dinner, but other then that I don't leave my home.
Like I said before, I generally just play video games and watch tv. I do enjoy Japanese culture and I speak a little and have been to Japan 2 times. My Fiancé is part Japanese so she really supports this. I like to travel, I've been to Japan, China, Ireland, Canada, and St.Kitts, next month I may be going to Germany depending on if one of my friends can get me a ticket. I also like to fiddle with my cars. I have 2 cars to play with and I like to modify them. I do a bit of electrical work on them like installing LEDs into and such. I'm not a mechanic or anything, but I do like to mod things with LED lighting. I'm also currently writing a comic book that we're hoping will be published sometimes soon but we'll see. I don't make any money on this or anything but it's a way to pass the time (if this ever took off I'd make some decent cash and instantly cure my hatred of my job and lack of pride making this tread useless).
So yeah, that's pretty much my life.
EDIT based on your second post check out electrician programs, also seriously stop drinking soda pop all day every day and start eating some food that can verify a field somewhere in its history, you're 27 and you will die soon if you keep that shit up.
From what I can tell, there's absolutely no reason for your diet to be poor other than habit. It's entirely possible to eat healthy on the cheap; I was able to manage it quite well with the little money I had during college. Since this is a long-standing habit, I suggest making gradual changes, which will help you accept and maintain them mentally and physically (your gut isn't going to be happy with a huge sudden change).
Start checking the weekly flyers for your local supermarkets. These are available online as well. Look for what fresh produce is on sale, what cuts of poultry and lean meat are on sale, etc. Pick a few versatile veggies like broccoli, romaine lettuce, carrots, tomato, and then have some fun with a random item on sale you've never tried before. Experimentation will add some interest. Try to do a lot more substitutions; they're much easier than additions or cuts. Whole grain bread and pasta instead of white and regular. Chicken and turkey burgers instead of beef. You get the idea. Go online and look for quick and easy recipes, as well as things you can make a lot of and eat throughout the week. I'm a soda fiend (~2L/day) and have never drank straight water regularly in my entire life, so I can't help much there. Try getting into tea.
Sleep:
Do NOT have wildly fluctuating sleep schedules like you currently have. It will fuck you up good. I'm not saying wake up at 6am or whatever every single day, but don't do 6am sometimes and 11am other times. Try to keep it within an hour range. As a night owl myself, I know how hard it is, but once you get yourself doing it for a month or so, you'll start waking up and getting tired at appropriate times naturally.
Try to get more exercise in your day, whether it's just a decent walk or an all out workout. Cut out the caffeine for a few hours before bed (perfect time for decaf tea). Perhaps try some meditation or simply deep breathing to relax your mind before trying to sleep. I'm not sure how sleep apnea is treated, whether there's OTC things or if you should pay your doc a visit.
JOB
Rob's got some solid advice. Electrician and similar trades seem like they could be a good fit, and they make damn good money. If you like fiddling with cars, perhaps a mechanic type position would be up your alley.
How much Japanese do you speak? Any formal training? If you're willing to put in some serious time into fluency, some sort of translator or teacher might be a viable option.
Yeah I really need to get this shit in check but once my Fiancé moves in I'm hoping she'll cook (not being sexist but she likes cooking!). As for the soda, I've been cutting down because I can't just sit around all day drinking soda like at my last job when I drank 24 cans a day at work.
Sleep:
It's really had to keep a solid sleep regiment because my hours at work are never the same. Some days I may have to be there at 7am and others I don't get home till midnight. Honestly I think the sleep might not be a problem if it was solid sleep. I really need to get my shoulder mended and my apnea taken care of but I don't have health insurance so that's out the window for now.
I may try and cut out caffeine by switching to caffeine free soda's and see how that goes.
Job:
I know it's a lot to ask to have someone tell me what to do for the rest of my life, I'm more asking for a way to figure it out for myself.
I will look into electrician training and the job types and salaries tomorrow. I don't really want to out to peoples houses and fix up their lights and such so I might see if there isn't anything that allows me to work in a single location. Is there such a thing as electrician school? I guess I'll look into that tomorrow too.
I'm not really looking to become a mechanic as my grandfather was one up until recently and he really hated his job, he would come home every night and say "never be a mechanic". I do enjoy cars, I occasionally go on the craigslist and look at cars for sale in the area to see if I can't find anything rare/unusual/cool. I had once looked into becoming a car sales person but decided not to because I can't stand selling things anymore, I'm sick of dealing with people.
I'm not fluent in Japanese. I know some pleasantries, hello's and goodbyes, and how to ask for various items... mostly it's stuff I've picked up from my Girl's Grandmother or from when I was in Japan. I'm not sure I could teach, but I'd love to become fluent as some kinda translator or something but I'm sure that'll take a ton of time and also no school in my area teaches it so.. yeah.
I think I forgot to mention this before my My girl's uncle is in the FBI and really enjoys his job, I had looked into this as well but the requirements to get into the FBI/CIA or other such outfit are INSANE! I figure the FBI and other such places need positions filled that are secret agents and stuff but I can't find listings anywhere. I thought it'd be cool to do the finger printing or wire taping or whatever other cool stuff the law informant sector has to offer... but again, I couldn't find much out about that either.
It would be a great way to acquire marketable job skills for free. A friend's son was in a similar position as you- he was kind of in a dead-end job and didn't know where to go. He enlisted in the Air Force and got training as a airplane mechanic. He just finished his enlistment and got a sweet job working for a defense contractor in Northern Virginia. The military would also get you money for school.
Something to consider, maybe.
As for the FBI and other Federal law enforcement agencies, they typically require a college degree for most agent-type jobs.
Rigorous Scholarship
$22 an hour is $45,000. There is no reason you couldn't be a cell phone guy forever, if you like doing it. You may want to try and go back to college again and ask them about math tutoring because it seems tricky for you. You can always get a non-math degree. Unfortunately a lot of jobs require math of some degree. Very little of them are above algebra levels like, "What is X + Y." If you can do basic algebra like that, and unit conversions, the rest is just practicing examples and getting tutoring to get a passing grade.
You may consider paralegal and law degrees, though, they are pretty much as mathless as you can get while still making a livable wage.
You don't want to be in sales? Most jobs are all about selling, if not a product then yourself.
Stop drinking soda. Seriously. Water won't kill you.
Job:
Either try a trade or the military like everyone else said. Without a college degree or a willingness to do sales (not that I blame you), most other doors are shut at the moment. Unfortunately, the FBI and CIA aren't realistic options.
gamertag:Maguano71
Switch:SW-8428-8279-1687
24 cans and you are still alive? My god.
Anyway, if you really eat that much junk food and have a sedentary job and lifestyle, you are probably overweight. So lose weight. Sleep apnea is caused or worsened by being overweight, and improved by losing weight.
Lose weight by learning to cook and drinking less soda. Your girlfriend may like to cook, but it is short-sighted to rely on her. Some evenings she will be busy, or your schedules will not coincide. If she's always the one to cook she may grow to resent it. Cooking is fun, but if it seems like you are too lazy to ever cook, she may come to resent always being the one to cook, even if she generally enjoys it. Also, you cannot guarantee you will be with this one girl for life. So be self-reliant - learn to cook. It is very romantic to cook for a girl, and she will probably be pleased that you are taking an interest in her hobby. You can cook together and bond that way.
Also, learn to drink water. If you carry on drinking only sugared drinks you can look forward to super-fun diabetes and eventually diabetes-related amputations as you get older. No joke. Don't drink more than a couple of cans of soda a day. OJ and Yoohoo are just as bad - they are equally packed with sugar. Learn to like water, coffee, and tea, and the occasional glass of plain milk.
Most of your problems seem to be due to just wanting good things to fall into your lap without putting out the effort to do them. A good job like in the FBI requires a degree and a lot of hard work. You can't just ask your uncle for one, unless nepotism there is a lot worse than I'd assume.
You need to find some interests, and hopefully turn them into a career. You like cars, so learn how to repair them. Get some books on car repair from the library and take a course in the evening. There's nothing wrong with being a mechanic - why did your grandfather not like it? At the very least you'll get a fun hobby, and a guy who can fix simple car problems is always popular.
Enough has been said about your diet. You really should start eating more healthy food.
Steam: CavilatRest
I do know how to cook, I actually took 4 years of cooking classes in high school at the technical school to become a chef but couldn't deal with the stress in a live kitchen. The problem is that I simply do not like a lot of foods, I generally eat: grilled chicken breasts, beef and potatoes... that's my entire diet summed up. I cook for her when she's busy but then I generally eat something else because I don't like what I cooked for her. The good thing about having her around, when it comes to food, is that she forces me to try things... normally I don't like them but at least the effort was made.
As for the soda/junk food thing, I'm actually not over weight at all... I'm under. I weigh 130 pounds and am 6 foot 3... I guess I just have a super fast metabolism or am dying slowing. Like I said, I have cut down a lot on the soda. 24 cans a day was my peak, I'm down to about 24 every 4 days or so now.
As for the mechanic thing, he always said "mechanics are popular because people always want to use you to fix their car, if their car is working fine you'll never see them". Same thing with computer skills, I found when I worked IT everyone in the world expected me to fix their computers for them, but generally didn't want anything to do with me outside of computer work.
I suppose I am waiting for something to fall into my lap, but it's hard to get going once you've been doing nothing forever and don't know what you want to do or how to get started. I mean, I've done things with my life but I just don't want to do them anymore. Like I said I used to work in IT but the pay scale went right down the drain and the market is way over saturated. I also used to manage a store, but the pay was awful and the hours where to much (65+ a week).
*New idea*
There is a rather large airport near my house, is there anything fun I could there? I like the idea of working at the airport as security or something along those lines. I'll look into the TSA when I get out of work as well.
To sum things up as of right now:
Cut down on the soda.
Stop being so lazy.
Looking into the following lines of work: Electrician, X-ray tech, Japanese translator (and the education needed to do this) and the TSA.
Your diet does not sound as bad as you have portrayed, aside from needing more vegetables. How do you live off grilled chicken and potatoes eating at fast food places? Most of them don't do anything that plain. You could save a lot of money just making grilled meat yourself with a George Foreman type electric grill. Still, it explains how you can drink so much soda and not turn into a blimp. Have you considered making fruit smoothies? They are better for you than soda (though you still shouldn't drink too many)
Why are you so opposed to jobs involving people? What's difficult about going around to someone's house to fix their wiring? If you want a good job it will involve people at some stage.
If people only want to hang out with you when you are fixing things, maybe you are just a curmudgeon about it. My ex fixed his friends' computers all the time, and once he'd done it they generally got pizza and hung out for the rest of the evening, and it seemed generally a positive experience for him. He never resented it. Socialising is all about finding an excuse to hang out, such as fixing something. Life is give and take.
I'm not opposed to working WITH people, I'm opposed with dealing with people in a consumer/customer basis. I wouldn't mind dealing with co-workers or bosses but I've been doing customer service related jobs for going on 10 years now and I'm sick of it. I don't want to sell anything to anyone, I don't want to hear complaints about things I can't control anymore and I just have a general phobia about going into other peoples homes.
I may be a curmudgeon about it, but if hanging out was ever part of the deal when I was fixing stuff for people I might have enjoyed it more. When I fixed peoples computers it involved them dropping them off and picking them up, nothing more. I had one person not talk to me for a year, then ask me to fix his computer then not talk to me again for another year. Curmudgeon or not, that shit doesn't fly with me. Give and take is one thing, take and see you later is another. Regardless, my lack of friends is not something I'm interesting in changing... unless I could have less friends. I don't really like going out or spending time with people, I'm generally very solitary.
Now, back to food. Burger king actually has a grilled chicken sandwich and wendy's has baked potatoes and grilled chicken wraps that I enjoy pretty well. I also eat many burgers, Big Macs are my favorite... I'd say at least once a week I have 2 for dinner along with a milk shake... well, a fast food milk shake which I don't think contains much milk. But thinking about it, maybe my diet is so awful after all... other then the amount of soda I drink.
Back on the job track, when I get out of work (I'm there right now) I'll look into electrician type work that doesn't involve going into peoples homes... after all that surely can't be the ONLY type of electrician work right? I'm also going to look a little more into medical coding and X-ray/ultrasound schools that might be in NJ because that seems like a good career path as well.
What I'm getting at is you need to try and get a job that meshes your personal interests, or what you're good at and generally enjoy, with the job requirements. Just picking jobs at random because they might be secure or have a good potential career track is not a good approach.
And I hate to harp on this, but stop eating at the food court. It's bad food and you're spending more than you would be if you just brown-bagged it every day.
Rigorous Scholarship
I'll echo what others have already said. The easiest thing for you to change will be your diet and sleep patterns. I would advise dropping soda entirely (diet/or otherwise). Drink water/herbal tea/black coffee (in moderation). You have got to be exaggerating with the 24 cans of soda per day thing...that's probably 150% or more of your BMR in just liquid sugar calories.
Once you lose weight, sleeping should get easier. I've gained a few pounds myself in the past year or two and I am snoring a lot more. The more fit you are, the better sleep you will get.
That's the easy stuff, so start with that.
Well, like I said, I don't do that so much anymore, I've really cut down on soda. the 24 cans a day was back when Pepsi blue was out and I chugged that stuff like a fiend. Yesterday I only drank about 5 cans of soda and a big cup of OJ. Also, I'm not over weight at all, if i lost any weight I'm pretty sure I'd die lol. My BMI is something like 11% and I'm exceedingly skinny and tall... hence the name "Lanky-Sean".
Well, my problem is I don't have any activities or interests that could lead me to a career. Obviously it'd be great to pick a career that I knew I was going to enjoy but I don't have anyway to do that since I have no clue what I want to do. So, I figure if I can't find something I'm genuinely going to enjoy I may as well pick something that is stable and decently well paying. Everyone wants two things from their work, to get paid well and to enjoy it. Since I'm not doing either right now I figure at least I can start making a decent salary.
So you think the TSA is going to be a good idea...why? That's basically ALL you do, from what it sounds like.
Also, seconding the military thing. You may want to check out the NJ National Guard (or one of your close states like MD, VA, PA, etc etc).
Even 1 can of sugared soda per day is extremely bad for you. Don't get me wrong, there's no drink I love more than an ice-cold can of Coke on a summer day, but it's a treat for me, not a habit.
It sounds like you have my metabolism/body type. In high school/college I was 185 lbs. Sounds like a lot unless you know that I'm 6 foot 6. I could eat and drink anything and never gain weight.
Now that I'm older I'm starting to gain weight. I weigh around 225 now and would like to drop back down to 200 or so.
But yeah, ditch the soda habit. You'll probably feel worse at first but in the long run you will feel much better and be healthier.
I'm pretty sure that amount of sugar has some serious short-term consequences.
Other people have said it but pop is one of the single biggest things you can cut from your diet. It's pointless and you don't need it. Water is awesome. If you really need a sweet drink, buy a pack of crystal light satchets and put one in a 591 ml bottle of water, then carry it around for the day.
When I was a kid I disliked the carbonation in pop and thus never really got "hooked" on it. Now I probably drink Coke maybe half a dozen times a year. And that's at restaurants or if I grab a bottle of pop in a cafeteria or something. I drink almost exclusively water or skim milk.
That's a pretty incredible metabolism. You are very lucky. Most people would be 300lbs with your diet. You probably need to eat more - but more good stuff like home grilled meat and baked potatoes and vegetables. Cut out the empty calories and replace with nutritious food. Fast food places generally adulterate their meat and use the worst quality stuff. So if you make a grilled chicken sandwich at home it'll be much better for you than the McDonalds equivalent - more nutritious with less chemicals and less floor scrapings.
You sound lethargic with a lack of drive in life. Cutting out the caffeine and reducing the sugar often paradoxically gives people more energy.
That's odd, I had no idea that less caffeine would mean more energy. And yeah, I'm pretty lethargic... and I'm pretty sure that stems from a complete lack of motivation. I have nothing to work to so I don't bother. I think once I get some kind of goal in place I'll gain some motivation and other stuff will pick up as well.
Exactly, I mean... it's physically impossible for everyone to land their dream job because then we'd all be the president and no one would pick grapes for a living. Do you know what she does exactly? Maybe if I had a title to strive to I would have an easier time googling this stuff.