Stay a while, and listen! Diablo 3

Hunter

Rolo wrote:

TheStig wrote:

"yes uncle, you've been telling me about the texts since I was five years old, I just don't think we should read too much into them"

Bitch the dead and rising and demons and crawling out of the earth. What more do you want?

I just find this whole "lord of terror coming to eat me thing" a little contrived, you know?

Things will be fine...no big whoop.

I mean, it's only fucking happened twice already and there's demons eating the face off people, zombies crawling up a guy's asshole, and don't even get me started on those mutated beasts laying their hideous egg spawn in your mouth. Stop living in the past man.

Brolo

really

the balls on these people to be making a new tristram

didn't you fucking learn from what happened to tristram the first two times?

Walt

they just can't get enough of the music thats always playing there

Sticks

I would totally move to Tristram. Listen to the music all day every day.

Every once in awhile, hide for my life while monsters overrun us, then rebuild the town from the ashes.

Still listening to dat music.

Druhim

Rolo wrote: »

really

the balls on these people to be making a new tristram

didn't you fucking learn from what happened to tristram the first two times?

Yeah, I'm not really surprised by that at all considering how readily people actually will rebuild on the flanks of volcanoes, along coasts that have been ravaged by tsunamis, or in earthquake zones.

Brolo

just deckard cain jamming out on his acoustic guitar

"stay awhile and listen to these sweet riffs"

Naphtali

fuck tristram (well the whole chronic demonic apocalypse part of it)

just get some minstrels to follow you around sir robin

Walt

Rolo wrote:

just deckard cain jamming out on his acoustic guitar

"stay awhile and listen to these sweet riffs"

ftfy

Sticks

Deckard is a good name.

Gonna name all my kids Deckard.

KrunkMcGrunk

i named my penis Deckard

TheStig

Deckard Cain makes his money by being a really unscrupulous real estate agent.

Hunter

Look guys, I know Tristram has been overran by the dregs of hell twice already. But we're not about what can't be done. We're about what can be done. We can rebuild the town next to the haunted graveyards of our past, chock full of the bloated corpses of those who came before us and died horribly only to be risen again as an undead plague on humanity.

The hellmouth that once vomited the hideous machinations of an angry god isn't that bad. Maybe we can put a park around it. Some shrubs, a grill, a small pool full of human blood. Spruce it up.

Stop being a bunch of pussies and let's get back to dirt farming between zombie invasions, OK.

Hunter

Hunter for Mayor of New Tristram - Let's make the undead, fundead!

Brolo

Listen, lad, I built this town up from nothing. All I had when I started was a hellpit ... other mayors said I was daft to build a town on a hellpit, but I built it all the same ... just to show 'em. It was burned into the pit. So I built a another one ... that burned into the pit. I built another one ... That was eaten by diablo and THEN burned into the pit .... So I built another ... and that's not burned yet. ... And that's what your gonna get, lad: the most unburned town in this kingdom.

Hunter

Seriously though, being a normal person in the world of Diablo is just a goddamn shit sandwich every fucking day. Dodging demons, being swarmed by undead horrors, having to constantly rebuild after your town is savaged by a horde of angry ghouls. Eventually just saying "fuck it, I'm going to walk out into the marsh and get skull fucked by a mutant bat to end this shit existence".

Forar

It does make joining the forces of evil seem significantly more reasonable than it might otherwise.

"Life is full of horrors and bullshit... might as well just become one of the horrors."

KrunkMcGrunk

Hunter wrote:

Seriously though, being a normal person in the world of Diablo is just a goddamn shit sandwich every fucking day. Dodging demons, being swarmed by undead horrors, having to constantly rebuild after your town is savaged by a horde of angry ghouls. Eventually just saying "fuck it, I'm going to walk out into the marsh and get skull fucked by a mutant bat to end this shit existence".

And then you get roped into some job as a mercenary for some dessert town. Then some asshole adventurer buys you, and instead of just letting you rest in peace, he resurrects you over and over again like the dipshit that he is.

Hunter

Hey thanks a lot Mr. Barbarian for walking right into that pack of elite electric buffed monsters and using whirlwind. When they sprayed lightning bolts out in a death blossom, you did a leap attack way the fuck over there and ran like a bitch while I was zap fried. Then instead of my well earned eternal rest from this shitstorm of a world, you give some gold to a back alley necromancer to do a half-ass resurrection that will cause my soul eternal pain. Thanks asshole.

neville

We need a new thread, the Inferno must yet rage.

BYToady

Hunter wrote:

Hey thanks a lot Mr. Barbarian for walking right into that pack of elite electric buffed monsters and using whirlwind. When they sprayed lightning bolts out in a death blossom, you did a leap attack way the fuck over there and ran like a bitch while I was zap fried. Then instead of my well earned eternal rest from this shitstorm of a world, you give some gold to a back alley necromancer to do a half-ass resurrection that will cause my soul eternal pain. Thanks asshole.

If you're lucky that barbarian finally drops the cash for a breath of the dying polearm and you just run around one shotting everything all day everyday and you finally achieve a state of nirvana.