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Ring shopping
DarkDragoon
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So it looks like the misses and I are probably ready to take the plunge and formalize our engagement, so I need to find a ring! She wants to be surprised and is thus not being entirely helpful in regards to what she wants. What she has said is that she was interested in maybe having one with her birthstone (amethyst) though diamonds and rubies are also fine. She wouldn't give a straight answer about her feelings on conflict diamonds, though I am personally a little iffy on giving money to those companies and I'm almost positive that she'd agree on that front if she did weigh in. She was very clear, however, that she wants something relatively traditional as far as the ring setting goes. She doesn't want to have to explain the "meaning" behind any weird patterns or anything on the ring itself (though the stone obviously doesn't have to be diamond). While I have a couple options in mind (below), any good advice/ideas/recommendations that would cover the little info I have to go by?
They are the same price, so the money issue is fine. They both have the same weight in diamonds, though obviously one has a larger amethyst than the other.
They are the same price, so the money issue is fine. They both have the same weight in diamonds, though obviously one has a larger amethyst than the other.
DarkDragoon on
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We were very happy too with Blue Nile for her diamond and my titanium ring. Diamonds are very traditional, but the advantage is they go with any outfit where a purple stone may not. But you know her best.
My suggestion is to look at settings with her online (like everyone suggested, Blue Nile is a great place to start). Once you start to see what she prefers, then you can figure out what would be the best choice. I did that with my fiance and I was completely surprised by what he picked out (and it was a good surprise)
There are diamonds out there that are non conflict. My wifes came from a Canadian mine, most big resellers don't really get conflict diamonds anymore due to the tracking nowadays.
My Opinion Below.
Take it from me have her look at stuff on line and make sure that you get what she wants, find a stone through a local or internet reseller and have it made. She knows what she wants trust me, getting that info out an be like pulling teeth but she will be wearing the thing for a long time. Custom lets you do a lot more and it will mean alot to her in the long run.
My wife has really small hands and the first stone/setting that I picked would have looked way out of proportion for her hands. She ended up liking the Tiffany's Etole setting after a bit of prodding but they did not have a stone that met what she wanted. Ended up doing the whole ring in platinum, custom tension set with hidden prongs, made with a AGS 000 stone for 1/4 the price at Tiffany's and much better stone.
Also I want to add if you know what she wants for a actual wedding band you can get the two to match even better, lot of women will wear both at the same time, so smaller bands that match in size and design are a major plus.
The media and DeBeers have made it so, that for a lot of people in the US at least, a "traditional" engagement ring is the largest diamond you can shoehorn into a pronged claw setting. I know she wants to be surprised, but your idea of a "traditional" engagement ring may be different from hers. Is there no way you can sit down with her with GIS and have her point out what she thinks is traditional? Don't give her any feedback, just try to use her selections to give an idea about styling.
I'm not sure how much you plan to spend, but sitting down with a Sotheby's catalog (pretty sure I got one mailed to me free upon request) and flipping through it showed me a lot of cool older styles that informed how I designed my wife's engagement ring. Most of the stuff available for auction was pretty spendy, but there was stuff available that was expected to fetch as little as $300.
One thing I'll comment on though is the height of the setting and the prongs. The higher it sits, the more its gonna get beat up, and because colored stones are softer than diamond (I don't remember the hardness on ammy anymore) the chances of the stone chipping go up. Also, high up prongs get caught on stuff more easily.
You might want to consider going into a jewelry store and looking at their "mounts" (engagement/wedding rings without center stones) to get some ideas. When you're buying for a lifetime, it's worth seeing it in person.
not to be mean - but most women i know would hate that combination (especially the giant pear cut with surrounding stones)
often men have a completely skewed view of what is good/bad regarding jewelry, that's the reason why a simple, understated design is often best:
something like that will be literally timeless
i'll stop being an opinionated asshole now.
I absolutely adore the ring on the right in your photo.
And were it me, I would probably ask my partner for that same setting, only with a sapphire (i love the look of the blue stone) or a citrine (our anniversary of being together is in november and I love the way they look too).
As far as traditional, non traditional, and what she wants.
The suggestion that a friend of mine did a while back with his lady (she knew what she wanted but wouldn't tell him because she was stuborn like that), is he got her something small and rather inexpensive as the ring for proposal, and then they went to the store together and picked out the actual ring. don't know if that's something your lady would be interested in doing.
Oh, and Congratulations!!!
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Don't mean to hijack, but maybe the OP can weigh in on this too...are people just ordering multi-thousand dollar rings from a website? My lady actually hinted at a style she loves on Blue Nile, but I'm reluctant to drop so much money on something sight-unseen. Not that I have an eye for stone quality in real life anyways...
They usually have more sparkle and "fire" than a diamond. Similar hardness, and less cost. Also no conflict involved.
We pretty much did, yeah. It was somewhere just north of 3k.
You really don't have to see it if you have the GIA (and some other one) rating sheet. It will tell you all the angles, cut, depth, table data you need. I looked at a few I liked, then punched the number into this Cut Advisor. It seems a little crazy, but people are still complementing her on the stone, as it has a great sparkle - making it look bigger and brighter.
Now, you can get that info from a shop too, but yes, I felt fine buying on-line as I had bought some smaller stuff before.
A lot of people buy from Blue Nile. And some of them drop 5 figures or more. Some people are cool with spending that much sight unseen and some aren't. Honestly, if your ladyfriend is cool with the Blue Nile designs then you're definitely saving money going with them. The main advantages of going with a local independent is that you get to see the stones before you put the money down, and you'll have access to a larger inventory of ring styles or custom work, and you're going to pay for that.
I know you want it to be a surprise but I'd be cautious buying a multi-thousand dollar ring without some imput from the Mrs. I propsed and have gotten married in the last year and since we were together for so long, very open about what she wanted for a ring. She thought she knew what she wanted, but as soon as we were in person trying things on, she COMPLETELY changed her mind. Went from very interesting cut/setting to a very traditional setting. Just be aware, taste can change and review any type of "returns" agreement you have.
Also, congrats
If you find a design you like online, shop around locally and ask if they can make it for you. Some of the big name places have custom ring events* where you can get non-standard stock. Local shops also tend to have a fair amount of haggle room, so if the online price is much lower, lean on them to match. They also tend to have deals on upgrades, example: If I want to punch up my wife's stone for our ten year, I can do trade up for a bigger stone with full purchase price as credit. Maybe you can swing that online, I don't know.
I'd also second the 'go shopping with her friends' idea, even if you still mean to buy online. They'll probably enjoy it, and they may have insights into her jewelry sense that you don't have.
*This is how I got hers. I really didn't like their standard settings, but their roving custom jeweler guy had some very unique designs that we both loved.