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A scientist calls you off the street and into a dark alley. He shows you his plan to create the perfect onion. He wants you to help him. What do you do?
Your answer to this question will decide the fate of humanity.
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Ten years later you learn he survived and turned himself into an multi-layered onion-fueled apocalypse machine.
By then I am a different person, a wiser person.
I've seen things, I've done things
I try to make peace
You must peel back the layers with force until you find the broken man at the center, before you can attempt to mend the damage. Could be a video game.
I tell him that not everybody likes onions, and I'd rather have a plan for creating the perfect cake. Everybody loves cakes.
yo, real talk, fuck cakes
cheesecake >>>>> cake
so are cookies, mousse, pie, and pretty much every dessert I've ever had
cake sucks
I will stab you with cake.
lets see how much it sucks then.
0
FandyienBut Otto, what about us? Registered Userregular
ya'll wanna hear a story
so there are lots of inchworms in my neighborhood, like to the point where if you walk a mile you will have at least 20 of them on you if you refuse to pick any off while you're walking. minimum 20. motherfuckers are errywhere
so i walk to / from work 'cus it's only a 20 minute walk, i don't like killing things, so i've spent the past two weeks gingerly picking inchworms off myself and putting them outside on leaves and stuff
anyway so i get home from a long shift at work and i go to change into some shorts
and there is literally an inchworm like a centimeter away from my junk, just hanging out on my thigh. i guess the pants-pulling-off freaked it out 'cus it's just writhing horribly
i flicked the shit out of it
horrible creatures
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Clint EastwoodMy baby's in there someplaceShe crawled right inRegistered Userregular
Posts
I am going to be rich
Ten years later you learn he survived and turned himself into an multi-layered onion-fueled apocalypse machine.
"We'll do it five!"
By then I am a different person, a wiser person.
I've seen things, I've done things
I try to make peace
You must peel back the layers with force until you find the broken man at the center, before you can attempt to mend the damage. Could be a video game.
That's the kind of uninnovative thinking that holds this company back.
You delusional apologists are what's wrong with onions today
This reference isn't worth pursuing
Anti-onion propagandist
Like, increased resistance to disease and pests, improved taste, or you don't get blinded every time you try to cut one fresh?
yo, real talk, fuck cakes
Belt. Around our belt. Wearing an onion around your neck was never in style, because that's just silly.
On another note, do you have change for a quarter? Gimme five bees if you've got 'em.
DARE
anyone to make an onion more perfect than it already is because it is IMPOSSIBLE
The scientist wanted an onion that made you cry fuel.
Especially in ring form
What about an Onion with Garlic already in it
They're already related. Its just like cousins.
That's legal right? Right?
it is in Shelbyville
but to get there you need to tie an onion to your belt
cheesecake >>>>> cake
so are cookies, mousse, pie, and pretty much every dessert I've ever had
cake sucks
I had this the other day, haven't had one in like 5 years. It was so good.
Steam
http://www.theonion.com/articles/jenna-bushs-federally-protected-wetlands-now-open,8879/
in icecream
I will stab you with cake.
lets see how much it sucks then.
so there are lots of inchworms in my neighborhood, like to the point where if you walk a mile you will have at least 20 of them on you if you refuse to pick any off while you're walking. minimum 20. motherfuckers are errywhere
so i walk to / from work 'cus it's only a 20 minute walk, i don't like killing things, so i've spent the past two weeks gingerly picking inchworms off myself and putting them outside on leaves and stuff
anyway so i get home from a long shift at work and i go to change into some shorts
and there is literally an inchworm like a centimeter away from my junk, just hanging out on my thigh. i guess the pants-pulling-off freaked it out 'cus it's just writhing horribly
i flicked the shit out of it
horrible creatures
but...but the cake is a lie
You are banned from the onion fuel utopia. You are doomed to a brief existence powered by increasingly scarce fossil fuels.
that sounds like the blandest, dryest stabbing ever
http://www.theonion.com/articles/fastfood-purchase-seething-with-unspoken-class-con,275/
this is the only onion bookmark i have
it's truly the Best Onion
Just settle your differences over a nice, tall glass of turnip juice.
at first I was all BULLSHIT
then I realized I was thinking about shallots, not scallions
it was pretty gross