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Blerrrrgh (warning: this thread is gross)

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    George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    Nah that was during the school year, it's just a fond memory now.

    Tell me what to get my mom for her b-day, Pooka

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    KwoaruKwoaru Confident Smirk Flawless Golden PecsRegistered User regular
    get her some granbabies

    moms love those

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    George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    staredog.001.gif

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    pookapooka Registered User regular
    what does your mom like, crawdog?

    unless she has sensitivities, this might be fun.

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    godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    I got mono in the final weeks of high school. I don't remember how I took my exams or finished my final projects, I just remember graduation being a nightmare. After 12 years if toil, I could not even enjoy the finish line to my efforts.
    One of the days I was sick, we went to the doctor so they could draw blood. I had never fainted before, but that day I watched the blood gush into the vial and I was out like a light. I remember the movie Four Brothers started playing in my head while I was out.

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    George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    I thought I had mono for a whole year once. Turns out I was just really, really bored.

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    pookapooka Registered User regular
    my last month of high school also wasn't fun! i had tonsillitis and ear infections (doc:"The worst I've ever seen,") in both ears; i was on some cocktail of antibiotics that contributed to graduation seeming like it took place veeeery faaaaar awaaaay.

    i bet you had it worse, though, mono is rough.

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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    I am starting to feel the kind of grossness like I am maybe beginning to possibly get sick and I place the blame squarely 100% on this thread

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    RaekreuRaekreu Registered User regular
    I got rotovirus, aka "winter vomiting disease", right before christmas when I was 8 or 9. That was not a holly jolly holiday, to say the least. There seemed to be literally nothing that didn't trigger intense, painful nausea - the smell of food, moving too much/the wrong way/at all, changes in temperature, stray electrons moving from one atom to another, etc. I've never been that sick since then, but it was a very high bar that was set.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    I knew diseases could spread through Internet contact!

    That's why I always wear a rubber when I'm on the forums

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    ok, that's a new house rule

    no more cooking chicken in the toaster oven, only the regular oven, how much it heats up the apartment be damned

    blurghalurg

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Feeling a bit better today, still nauseous but not having to constantly fumble for the toilet paper to wipe the sweat off my brow after doing the Shoop Da Whoop into the cistern.

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    JandaruJandaru New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    My big toenail has a fungus or something and that is pretty terrible. From what I can tell from the internet I'm stuck with it unless I go on some medication that is really bad for your liver. COOL.

    I had this for a while - it was pretty nasty. I mentioned it to a doctor while I was sick with something else, she told me the name of the medication but wouldn't give me a prescription because of the liver risks.
    The next time I was sick I brought it up with my GP, and said something like "you have a problem, we have a pill that'll fix it, so let's do it."

    A couple of years later and my liver (and toenail) is fine.

    Maybe it's worth noting I don't drink, so there's no undue stress on my liver. I don't know, I'm not a doctor.
    Probably also why I don't have much in the way of puke stories...

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    RadiusRadius Registered User regular
    It's not gross, but all 4 of my wisdom teeth have decided to come in right after the other so it hurts like hell and I can barely open my mouth.

    Everyday we stray further from God's light
    Steam Switch FC: 2799-7909-4852
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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    recycling my puke story
    Tossrock wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    Tossrock wrote: »
    can we just talk about vomit some more

    get some juicy vom' stories out there

    Never go to the mountains and stay with 20 college students in a home that has two bathrooms.

    The bathroom sink will be clogged with broccoli vomit by the end of the trip.

    I know this from multiple experiences.

    least convenient puke:

    the night before my sister's college graduation, I went out with her and her friends. we climbed onto the roof of one of the buildings on the Northwestern campus and drank some really godawful, plastic jug tequila while watching a lightning storm. I impressed myself by managing to not throw up and slept on her floor.

    Next day, we woke up early for a reception with the familes (our parents were there) and I was still kinda drunk and very sick. Ended up rushing out of the reception to throw up first in my hands and then in a tiny little office trash can because I couldn't find a bathroom before the reactor went critical.

    also there was the time I was at a party and just sat on a couch throwing up in my hands for a while until someone brought me a trash can. That was kind of embarrassing.

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    when i was a kid i developed spontaneous, massive pustules all over my feet and hands which persisted for like three months

    this has been crimson king's disgusting story

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    So the new girl (who is a fit 21 year old punk-ish lady) that moved in on the floor wants to hang with me all the time, which means I just spent the last four hours chilling & watching futurama with new sexy punk girl while pretending to be oblivious to flirtations because I already have a girlfriend.

    So, yay?

    Also blurgh.

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    FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    It's the year 2000, all my friends and I are, one by one, turning 21 with all the pageantry and latent alcoholism that such a series of events inspires. I mean, we'd been drinking since we were 18, 'cause that's the age limit, but 21 is traditional.

    It's always someone's birthday. Every weekend. If it's not one of my peers, it's one of my peers girlfriends. Or their flatmates. There's always somewhere to go. At first it was great, but halfway through the year most of us have seen our student loan values spike every weekend. We're not going into town so much; kegs become a few dozen. We're slowly winding back, as the gloss and the shine of ripping it every weekend in the face of increased courseload, less money and party fatigue. The low point is reached when it's Pete's 21st.


    Pete's a good mate. Quiet, goofy, sporty. He's organised a party based out of the garage at his mum's place. He's asked for everyone to bring something to drink, rather than a present. We'll put them in a communal pile for us all to drink from the middle of the garage and sit around a bonfire outside into the night.

    We turn up while it's still twilight, and the tower of beer (and the odd bottle of wine for the ladies) begins. Kez, our cheap friend - you know the one, the guy who pays absolutely nothing if he doesn't have to - brings a few cans of Rhieneck.

    Rhieneck beer is widely mentioned as the worst beer in the country. It's taste is charitably likened to the watery piss of an infected goat, and at 3.5% it's only redeeming feature is that it's cheap and nasty.

    We raise an arched eyebrow at Kez, who claims there was nothing specific stated about the quality of the beer needing to be brought. We make him drink one as punishment. And another. And another.

    He declares that there is nothing wrong with it, but keeps trying to trade for better until we tell him to stop.

    However, there is still one can left. Clear, such a disgusting beer cannot just be put into the pile - it would never be selected, and likely would still be left there in the morning, a state of affairs that will just not do. Instead, a compromised is reached; it will be a punishment. A punishment for the first person to throw up. Nay, not just a punishment, but A SPECTACLE!

    The first person to throw up must not only drink the beer, but skull it back in one go. Naked. While standing on the roof of the landlord's old Skoda.

    The terms are agreed and the evening begins in earnest.

    Or it would have, if everyone suddenly didn't decide maybe they didn't want to be the first across the line. Drinking becomes a game of chicken, everyone trying to get someone else drunk first. Drinking games are started, and it quickly becomes apparent that the drinks are not being distributed evenly. Unlike most evenings, where the drinks are chaotically shared around, the stakes are too high, and the party rapidly begins winnowing out the best targets to unload their drinks on. Within an hour, almost every nominated drink is falling on one of two people worth targeting: Pete's 90lb girlfriend, whose bodyweight just can't keep up; and myself - who, although middleweight, is also usually the designated driver, therefore seeing me really drunk is an absolute novelty to almost everyone.


    There's no escaping, no way out. One of us is going down. Lowry deals out a rigged set of cards, designed to push her over the edge. I'd like to say I fell on my sword to spare her the humiliation, but that wouldn't be the truth. I could blame the rigged hand, or the way some threw a foot out at me, trying to trip me up as I left the table. But the truth is, all these did was accelerate the process, and it was just dumb luck that it was me instead of her. As soon as I stumbled, I knew the contents of my stomach were coming back up. I hear she didn't even wait until I was finished to start her own garden fertilisation, the joint victims of an orchestrated attack on our sobriety.

    I don't really remember what the Rhieneck tasted like. I do know that someone was taping it; I have footage around here on a VHS somewhere, spliced into a porn movie and given to me for Christmas later that year. And I do remember Tinks emptying the melted icewater from a cooler over the top of me the moment I declared my victory, as I stood there, shivering in the night.

    I guess fortunately, at least my pants were dry.

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Shit man, I turned 20 on base in Korea(20 being legal drinking age for soldiers in Korea) and I got chased through the drainage canals by my platoon. Me all running and ducking and dodging through bushes and shallow drain ditches, the whole time trying not to spill my screwdriver.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    Hey weaver is it true that all overseas American military bases are dry?

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    hahahahah fuck no

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Also I was coming upstairs from the laundry and I twisted my right ankle something fierce. This is getting seriously painful. I am fucking cursed.

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    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    good story fishman

    good story

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    godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Hey weaver is it true that all overseas American military bases are dry?

    American bases are dry in combat zones.

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    godmode wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    Hey weaver is it true that all overseas American military bases are dry?

    American bases are dry in combat zones.

    For line troops, sure.

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    godmode wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    Hey weaver is it true that all overseas American military bases are dry?

    American bases are dry in combat zones.

    they do have non-alcoholic beer, however, which aren't as non-alcoholic as they'll have you believe

    a truly dedicated drinker can still get a buzz going from enough of them

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    godmode wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    Hey weaver is it true that all overseas American military bases are dry?

    American bases are dry in combat zones.

    they do have non-alcoholic beer, however, which aren't as non-alcoholic as they'll have you believe

    a truly dedicated drinker can still get a buzz going from enough of them

    I saw giant piles of empty whiskey bottles outside of the airforce pararescue tents back in Pakistan

    Also holy shit whatever is going on with my ankle is jacked up, I can barely walk on it now. I know I'm prone to exaggeration but I've pulled my cane out of the closet and have been doing stretches & such on my foot this shit is getting worrisome.

    Probably just tweaked a nerve though, no I'm not going to the ER

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    How'd you hurt it, Weaver?

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    RubberACRubberAC Sidney BC!Registered User regular
    one time i had the flu so bad it gave me diabetes



    actually

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    Walked up stairs, ankle started hurting. Had ice on it for a while now. Feels like all the parts are fit together properly.

    edit: aren't fit together

    Weaver on
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    George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    RubberAC wrote: »
    one time i had the flu so bad it gave me diabetes



    actually

    staredog.001.gif

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    MrBrickMrBrick Underneath pub furniture.Registered User regular
    Norovirus is pretty great. You shun the toilet completely and just stand in the shower, water running, whilst spraying liquids liberally from both ends. Then pass out and wake up half drowned.

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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    My worst vomit experience was many a moon ago...

    A nasty case of gastroenteritis saw me sitting on the toilet with a 20 litre bucket on my lap for a couple of days. By the end there was nothing but blood-streaked greenish mucous coming out of both ends. My lips and anus were chapped, cracked and bleeding.

    I do all right these days, except sometimes (every month or two) I'll sleep weirdly and wake up with a blinding headache, a bad crick in my neck, and a few hours of vomiting.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    godmode wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    Hey weaver is it true that all overseas American military bases are dry?

    American bases are dry in combat zones.

    Ah yeah that would be it. A mate at work was regaling me with tales of his time in Afghanistan swapping MREs and all the other cool shit Americans get for a six pack

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    End wrote: »
    The last time I threw up is why I don't drink rum anymore. Just the smell of rum now makes me feel sick. I also don't remember much of the night.

    This is me with Tequila.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    Yukira wrote: »
    End wrote: »
    The last time I threw up is why I don't drink rum anymore. Just the smell of rum now makes me feel sick. I also don't remember much of the night.

    This is me with Tequila.

    This is me with scotch

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Yukira wrote: »
    End wrote: »
    The last time I threw up is why I don't drink rum anymore. Just the smell of rum now makes me feel sick. I also don't remember much of the night.

    This is me with Tequila.

    This is me with scotch

    This is why I'm hot

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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    Well, I don't drink regular rum anymore, but spiced rum with coke? Yes please.

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