The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent
vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums
here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules
document is now in effect.
Blerrrrgh (warning: this thread is gross)
Posts
Tell me what to get my mom for her b-day, Pooka
moms love those
unless she has sensitivities, this might be fun.
One of the days I was sick, we went to the doctor so they could draw blood. I had never fainted before, but that day I watched the blood gush into the vial and I was out like a light. I remember the movie Four Brothers started playing in my head while I was out.
i bet you had it worse, though, mono is rough.
That's why I always wear a rubber when I'm on the forums
no more cooking chicken in the toaster oven, only the regular oven, how much it heats up the apartment be damned
blurghalurg
I had this for a while - it was pretty nasty. I mentioned it to a doctor while I was sick with something else, she told me the name of the medication but wouldn't give me a prescription because of the liver risks.
The next time I was sick I brought it up with my GP, and said something like "you have a problem, we have a pill that'll fix it, so let's do it."
A couple of years later and my liver (and toenail) is fine.
Maybe it's worth noting I don't drink, so there's no undue stress on my liver. I don't know, I'm not a doctor.
Probably also why I don't have much in the way of puke stories...
Steam Switch FC: 2799-7909-4852
also there was the time I was at a party and just sat on a couch throwing up in my hands for a while until someone brought me a trash can. That was kind of embarrassing.
this has been crimson king's disgusting story
So, yay?
Also blurgh.
It's always someone's birthday. Every weekend. If it's not one of my peers, it's one of my peers girlfriends. Or their flatmates. There's always somewhere to go. At first it was great, but halfway through the year most of us have seen our student loan values spike every weekend. We're not going into town so much; kegs become a few dozen. We're slowly winding back, as the gloss and the shine of ripping it every weekend in the face of increased courseload, less money and party fatigue. The low point is reached when it's Pete's 21st.
Pete's a good mate. Quiet, goofy, sporty. He's organised a party based out of the garage at his mum's place. He's asked for everyone to bring something to drink, rather than a present. We'll put them in a communal pile for us all to drink from the middle of the garage and sit around a bonfire outside into the night.
We turn up while it's still twilight, and the tower of beer (and the odd bottle of wine for the ladies) begins. Kez, our cheap friend - you know the one, the guy who pays absolutely nothing if he doesn't have to - brings a few cans of Rhieneck.
Rhieneck beer is widely mentioned as the worst beer in the country. It's taste is charitably likened to the watery piss of an infected goat, and at 3.5% it's only redeeming feature is that it's cheap and nasty.
We raise an arched eyebrow at Kez, who claims there was nothing specific stated about the quality of the beer needing to be brought. We make him drink one as punishment. And another. And another.
He declares that there is nothing wrong with it, but keeps trying to trade for better until we tell him to stop.
However, there is still one can left. Clear, such a disgusting beer cannot just be put into the pile - it would never be selected, and likely would still be left there in the morning, a state of affairs that will just not do. Instead, a compromised is reached; it will be a punishment. A punishment for the first person to throw up. Nay, not just a punishment, but A SPECTACLE!
The first person to throw up must not only drink the beer, but skull it back in one go. Naked. While standing on the roof of the landlord's old Skoda.
The terms are agreed and the evening begins in earnest.
Or it would have, if everyone suddenly didn't decide maybe they didn't want to be the first across the line. Drinking becomes a game of chicken, everyone trying to get someone else drunk first. Drinking games are started, and it quickly becomes apparent that the drinks are not being distributed evenly. Unlike most evenings, where the drinks are chaotically shared around, the stakes are too high, and the party rapidly begins winnowing out the best targets to unload their drinks on. Within an hour, almost every nominated drink is falling on one of two people worth targeting: Pete's 90lb girlfriend, whose bodyweight just can't keep up; and myself - who, although middleweight, is also usually the designated driver, therefore seeing me really drunk is an absolute novelty to almost everyone.
There's no escaping, no way out. One of us is going down. Lowry deals out a rigged set of cards, designed to push her over the edge. I'd like to say I fell on my sword to spare her the humiliation, but that wouldn't be the truth. I could blame the rigged hand, or the way some threw a foot out at me, trying to trip me up as I left the table. But the truth is, all these did was accelerate the process, and it was just dumb luck that it was me instead of her. As soon as I stumbled, I knew the contents of my stomach were coming back up. I hear she didn't even wait until I was finished to start her own garden fertilisation, the joint victims of an orchestrated attack on our sobriety.
I don't really remember what the Rhieneck tasted like. I do know that someone was taping it; I have footage around here on a VHS somewhere, spliced into a porn movie and given to me for Christmas later that year. And I do remember Tinks emptying the melted icewater from a cooler over the top of me the moment I declared my victory, as I stood there, shivering in the night.
I guess fortunately, at least my pants were dry.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
good story
American bases are dry in combat zones.
For line troops, sure.
they do have non-alcoholic beer, however, which aren't as non-alcoholic as they'll have you believe
a truly dedicated drinker can still get a buzz going from enough of them
I saw giant piles of empty whiskey bottles outside of the airforce pararescue tents back in Pakistan
Also holy shit whatever is going on with my ankle is jacked up, I can barely walk on it now. I know I'm prone to exaggeration but I've pulled my cane out of the closet and have been doing stretches & such on my foot this shit is getting worrisome.
Probably just tweaked a nerve though, no I'm not going to the ER
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
actually
edit: aren't fit together
A nasty case of gastroenteritis saw me sitting on the toilet with a 20 litre bucket on my lap for a couple of days. By the end there was nothing but blood-streaked greenish mucous coming out of both ends. My lips and anus were chapped, cracked and bleeding.
I do all right these days, except sometimes (every month or two) I'll sleep weirdly and wake up with a blinding headache, a bad crick in my neck, and a few hours of vomiting.
Ah yeah that would be it. A mate at work was regaling me with tales of his time in Afghanistan swapping MREs and all the other cool shit Americans get for a six pack
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
This is me with Tequila.
This is me with scotch
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
This is why I'm hot