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Selling your soul for fun & profit! A narrative Chaos Wastes campaign, always recruiting.

Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
edited August 2012 in Critical Failures
413px-Realms_of_Chaos_Slaves_to_Darkness_FCover.jpg456px-Realms_of_Chaos_The_Lost_and_the_Damned_FCover.jpg

Recent comments in the 40K thread caused me to dig out this pair of classic books from my bookshelf. Well tattered and 'donated' to me from my brother in law when they were found in the bottom of a wardrobe in his old bedroom. Weighty tomes detailing all your mortal brain can comprehend of the four ruinous powers of the Warhammer(40K) world and filled with more than just stats and points, also a wealth of severely messed up short fiction, nightmare inducing artwork and so very many random tables.

One of the entirely unbalanced and random things they present in the books is the idea of a Chaos Wastes campaign whereby you roll up a random champion with his random retinue and fight with your friends' similarly random warbands in random scenarios for random rewards and punishments from the capricious Gods. Randomly. Eventually (if he lives) your champion will either amass so many mutations his body gives up the ghost and devolves into a mindless Chaos Spawn, or if he's really lucky, he may catch the eye of his patron and ascend to the lofty heights of becoming a new all powerful Daemon Prince.

Sound like silly fun? I reckon so. We'll start with the fun of rolling up a champion and retinue. Then if all is going well we'll organise a few 'fights' by me rolling a few random dice modified by strength of pre match banter and then entirely making up what happened. Roll it on and see what kind of an epic saga of carnage and debauchery we can weave.

So for an initial trial run I'm looking for one (1) interested party who fancies the long term plan and is online here on the forums for the next hour or so to roll some (lots of) virtual dice. First come first served as I want to kick this off right now! Further interest will be registered and if things continue I'll randomly (how appropriate) pick some more players after a suitable signing up time and we'll see where it all goes.

Roll 2d100 to generate champions starting race and profile.


Fuck it, come one come all. The wastes are large and more players means less risk of game death by attrition.

The process:
1) 2d100 for starting race and profile.
2) Pick a Chaos power.
2a) If picked Tzeentch 1D100 for starting magic item.
3) 1D1000 for starting Chaos Attribute (mutation). If Tzeentch then instead 1D3 Chaos Attributes.
4) 1D100 for starting retinue.

Obsidian Portal Link to currently playing Champions.

Agnus the Cankerous - Human of Nurgle - TiamatZ
Crom Firebelly - Chaos Dwarf of Nurgle - Prime
Flint Ironstag - Chaos Dwarf of Khorne - DaMoonRulz
Hrambus Urghler - Human of Slaanesh - DexDynamo
Mokol the Blademonger - Chaos Dwarf of Slaanesh - Farangu
Piba Al'kai - Chaos Dwarf Sorcerer of Slaanesh - Kias
Ukol the Hexmaker - Human of Tzeentch - Lawinator
General Tso - Chaos Dwarf of Chaos Undivided - El Skid

The Chaos Gods announce that anyone who puts suitable pictures on their champion's Obsidian page is likely to be shown greater favour.

Embryonic champions:

blahmcblah - Barely started
Belfast - Taking a small diversion to create a new Patron power
Anon the Felon - Waiting for a bio
Matev - Awaiting a bio
SanderJK - Waiting for ogre mutations and a bio

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Jam Warrior on
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Posts

  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    Okay so ready in the next hour was a tad optimistic. Hoping to see some interested people when I check back in tomorrow.

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  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    This sounds like fun, but I have no idea how to play.

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    Just roll the dice as I call for them. Then when a band has been created you can come up with a brief background for how they came to be. Familiarity with the Warhammer World a plus!

    So to start roll 2d100 to generate champions starting race and profile.

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  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    I think I already lost.

    4 and 14

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    I am so in for this.

    Starting Rolles: 1d100 84 1d100 74

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Dear Lawninator,

    I hate you for your rolls.

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    Actually depending on how they wrote the tables, you could easily have some seriously cool shit.

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Come on golf rules!

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    I'm pretty sure that no matter if you're a slave of some dude or the most badass champion, that this will be amazing.

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    Jam please come back now now now

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Yeah, Jam. Also, I reserve the name Flint Ironstag.

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    I am currently Angrab the Unholy, but I reserve the right to change my name depending on what my rolls mean.

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    I'm going to be heading to bed soon

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

  • blahmcblahblahmcblah I never drink... wine. Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    YES! I love everything Chaos-related and haven't been able to track down Lost and Damned for a decent price anywhere.

    85, 6

    Edit: After learning how to read, I see now in the OP you only asked for a single participant, but I'll be up for hours, so tag me if no one else responds. Either way, I'll be watching!

    blahmcblah on
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    When I read party in a context such as this, my brain goes to multiple people.

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    I went to bed! It was late on the misty isle of Albion.

    DaMoonRulz has rolled a Chaos Dwarf of unremarkable ability. Stats (not that they really matter in the way we'll be playing) in the spoiler. Whether he's a standard Dwarf who has recently fallen or one of these guys is up to you.
    Move 3
    Weapon Skill 4
    Ballistic Skill 3
    Strength 3
    Toughnss 4
    Wounds 1
    Initiative 2
    Attacks 1
    Leadership 9
    Intelligence 7
    Cool 9
    Willpower 9

    Lawn has rolled a Human with low level magic powers. Not quite sure why a wizard has S4 but that's what the book says! You'll get a low level spell when we know what power you are pledged to.
    M4 WS4 BS3 S4 (?) T3 W1 I3 A1 Ld7 Int9 Cl9 WP9

    blahmcblah has rolled another human but this time of no great note.
    M4 WS3 BS3 S3 T3 W1 I3 A1 Ld7 Int7 Cl7 WP7

    Now you must choose the Chaos God you have pledged yourself to and will recieve his mark. Also roll a d1000 for the first chaos attribute (mutation) that has blessed your body.

    If you each pick a different God that would be nice, and that also leaves room for a fourth if anybody else wants to play.

    Are you all up on your Warhammer? A brief primer on the four great powers can be found here:

    http://whfb.lexicanum.com/wiki/Chaos_Gods#The_pantheon_of_Chaos

    Jam Warrior on
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  • TiamatZTiamatZ Ghost puns The Banette of my existenceRegistered User regular
    edited July 2012
    AM I too late for this game?

    If not, consider me interested. I'll think I'll choose Nurgle as my patron Chaos God. Glory to the king of maggots and lord of flies!

    Starting Rolls: 53, 46

    Chaos Mutation: 12

    I'm with Moon on this one; don't know much of the ruleset here, but willing to play :)

    TiamatZ on
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    I will pledge myself to Tzeentch.

    Mutation Roll: 1d1000 901

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    And we have our fourth!

    Yet another human (they do take up 60% of the race table) this time of minor heroic prowess.
    M4 WS4 BS4 S4 T3 W1 I4 A2 Ld7 Int7 Cl7 WP7

    Mark of Nurgle:
    A new champion of Nurgle grows in height and girth until his physique is impressively robust as befitting his status. His toughness is increased by +1 to indicate his improved constitution.

    Chaos Attribute - Agility:
    The mutant becomes extraordinarily agile. Initiative +3.

    A tad paradoxical pairing but that's the way of Chaos! Final stats:
    M4 WS4 BS4 S4 T4 W1 I7 A2 Ld7 Int7 Cl7 WP7

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  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    An i7 nurgle champion? I guess it's the stink that kills you.

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    I'll go with High Fructose Khorne Syrup.

    Mutation Roll - 530

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    No possibility for a 5th player of one of the many lesser powers or possibly the since redacted 5th greater power, Malal?

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • PrimePrime Registered User regular
    Sign me up for future runs, this sounds amazing!

    steam_sig.png
    Until All Are One...under the Newell
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    I... want to know what happened to me!

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    Whatevs, it's all pretty free form. If people are mega keen then indeed pile in, I was just trying to keep things at a manageable level but don't want to stifle the fun. There's always Chaos Undivided, though that is a little more dull as you just re-roll gifts of the gods and thus can never become a Daemon Prince, just an inevitable descent to Chaos Spawn.

    There are in fact rules for rolling up a random patron lesser power if anyone fancies, and if someone makes it to ascension then there's the possibility of their champion becoming a patron in their own right! This will take a bit more work though as we have to fill in our own d100 Chaos rewards table themed for them.

    Anyway, your wizard. The changer is keen on mutations so you actually get D3 starting mutations rather than 1. Roll for how many you get and what any extras are.

    Also make another mysterious d100 roll related to your Mark.

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  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    Get in there Prime. Sod order and starting small, the more the merrier and the more chaotic the more appropriate!

    Jam Warrior on
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  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    Mutation Roll: 1d3 3

    2 more mutation rolls, then a Mark roll: 1d1000 949 1d1000 925 1d100 94

    What's with me rolling in the 90s?

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    @DaMoonRulz

    Mark of Khorne:
    A new champion of Khorne recieves a suit of Chaos Armour from his patron. Chaos armour grants a 4+ saving throw which is effective against even magic weapons and spells.

    Chaos Attribute - Levitation
    The mutant may levitate at will. Add two to the mutant's fear points when it does so, reflecting the uncanny nature of this ability. Roll 2d10 to determine the mutant's number of levitation points which are spent as follows and recovered by meditation/rest:

    Rise 2 yards - 1
    Fall 6 yards - Free
    Each 6 yard fall thereafter - 2
    Move horizonatally 2 yards - 3
    Remain stationary above the ground - 1

    Details unimportant but give us the roll so we can get an idea how good or bad at flying this dwarf is. You need 5 fear points to actually cause fear so no effect from that yet.

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  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    @TheLawinator

    Mark of Tzeentch:
    A new champion of Tzeentch recieves a random magic item from his patron. It is possible to roll an item that cannot be used but it must be retained none the less, as to refuse the Mark of Tzeentch invites immediate destruction.

    Random Item - Flesh Banner
    Rules not in book anywhere I can find! Possibly something in the base Warhammer rule book back then? If you can find a source detailing it then you can have it. Otherwise we may have to make something up.

    Chaos Attribute - Tentacles
    The mutant's arms wither and turn into grasping tentacles covered in fine suckers. Roll a D6 determine how many arms are affected. 1-3 one arm, 4-5 D3 arms, 6 all arms. Tentacles can grip weapons normally but do not permit the fine manipulation of other objects. The mutant gains one fear point from this attribute, regardless of the number of tentacles it develops.

    Chaos Attribute - Vividly coloured Skin
    The mutant's skin or pelt turns an exceptionally vivid colour. This is often a colour associated with the mutant's Chaos Power (ever changing irridescence for Tzeentch) but need not be so. Bright purples, pinks, oranges and electric blues and greens are all possible. No effect on mutant's profile.

    Chaos Attribute - Transparent Skin
    The mutant's skin becomes completely transparent, revealing its inner structure - bones, organs, muscles, sinews, digestive system - for all to see. This is extremely bizarre and increases the mutant's fear points by 3.

    1st level Spell - Boon of Tzeentch
    The caster makes an appeal to Tzeentch for more power. The caster randomly generates a spell up to his caster level and can cast it immediately for free. It is added to his spell list for the rest of the battle.

    You're a pretty one! Four fear points so not quite scary enough for effects yet though.

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  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    Found it!

    Flesh Banner:
    The Flesh Banner is made from living flesh and looks like a boneless man stretched into a large squarish shape. It has arms with clawing hands which wave around in search of a victim, strangling tentacles, and fang studded mouths which scream at the enemy. In hand-to-hand combat the banner flails and grabs at the foe, pulling victims towards its mouth or snapping their necks like straws. It automatically inflicts D6 hits at S6.

    Jam Warrior on
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  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    Tentacles, how many?: 1d6 4

    How many tentacle arms?: 1d3 3

    So... does this mean I now have 3 tentacle arms, or that the maximum 2 of my arms are tentacles?

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    You choose!

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  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    Any chance I can still have an arm for fine motor skill stuff?

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    Sounds like someone's rejecting the benevolent gifts of their all powerful patron to me. Gee I wouldn't want to be that guy.

    You'll get minions when we get around to rolling that, you can do magic, you can hold a weapon, what more do you want?!

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  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    To love...

    Pfft, not converting to Slaanesh today!

    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • PrimePrime Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    Great :D

    Starting 5 and 56, nurgle, followed by 213 (thats correct right? 2 x D100, god and 1 x D1000)

    (edit: bookmarked for updates so can be on pretty much all day any day UK time. Love things like this.)

    Prime on
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    Until All Are One...under the Newell
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    A Chaos Dwarf of no small heroic stature! (No pun intended)

    Mark of Nurgle:
    A new champion of Nurgle grows in height and girth until his physique is impressively robust as befitting his status. His toughness is increased by +1 to indicate his improved constitution.

    Chaos Attribute - Breathes Fire
    The mutant is able to breathe fire once per turn, but may not make bite attacks in the same turn. Cone shaped attack 12 yards long and 4 yards wide automatically hitting for 2 hits with your strength (4).

    Nurgle adjusted stats:
    M4 WS6 BS4 S4 T6 W3 I4 A3 Ld12 Int7 Cl11 WP11

    Nasty!

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  • PrimePrime Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    All you pretenders best beware, Crom Firebelly has arrived :P

    edit: Int, Cl, WP These stats are new to me. What do they represent?

    Prime on
    steam_sig.png
    Until All Are One...under the Newell
  • MorskittarMorskittar Registered User regular
    I can't commit time to joining, but I will be watching with interest. This is awesome.

    And quite possibly gnawing at the roots of the world.

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  • TiamatZTiamatZ Ghost puns The Banette of my existenceRegistered User regular
    Prime wrote: »
    All you pretenders best beware, Crom Firebelly has arrived :P

    Charlatan! It shall be Agnus the Cankerous who shall spread the almighty Fly Lord's glory and pestilence, not a misbegotten gnat of a fool such as yourself! Prepare thyself! All hail Nurgle!
    :P

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