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This girl lied to me and her bf...
ironkids17
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
So this girl basically cheated on her deployed bf with me for a year and said this and that about her not wanting to break up with him tell he came back and she was not sure about him blah blah blah. well basically she lied to him and she lied to me because she is back with him and has been for the past 2 months when he came home from deployment. She texts me almost every day sometimes skips days but I have not responded to her in almost a month. She tells me how much she loves me still and that she wants to fix things with me and she is so sorry blah blah blah. I know she went back to him because he has a lot of deployment money and she said he would buy her implants and a car etc etc and he bought her an ipad, d.land season pass and pays for pretty much everything for her. So my question is... Should I somehow let him know that she lied to him and cheated on him the whole time he was gone? I could even tell his step sister who does not even know me that this all happened, even mention things that only the gf would know... and i could show text messages and voice mails proving the cheating. I just feel the guy should know what a lair he is with and how much she is using him. I don't like the fact that she lied to me and him and is getting away with using people... she has no job and no way of supporting her self besides her bf doing it all for her and I feel bad he is doing all of this after a year of his gf lying to him. p.s i know what I did was not right but she mad it seem the whole time like she is really not sure about him and wanted to leave him. I want nothing to do with her and would never give her another chance. She is also a narcissist. Thoughts? Should I let him know?
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100% this.
Also, dont pretend you're doing this out of some bro-code altruism. You've been knowingly banging his GF, and now you want to shit up his relationship with her out of spite.
How about you say nothing and instead maybe use the time to reconsider your own values instead of blaming hers.
I also concur: Stay out of this, just walk away. If you keep not answering her texts, she will stop (eventually).
You're already shitty for screwing around with this girl, and pursuing revenge and messing over this guy because you had your heart broken in a completely preventable situation will just make you even shittier. Maybe instead of focusing on revenge, you should focus on gaining some confidence and self-respect, so that you pursue relationships with people who are not already in one.
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Just delete her number and go hang out with your bros or something. You know, the ones whos girlfriends you WOULDN'T sleep with.
I'm not sure what you're trying to pull, but if the story is real, you're still a terrible person and you still need to go away.
Edit: Ah, yes. This is identical thread #3 from you.
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Stay the fuck away from it, separate yourself from her and just leave things as they are. Telling the boyfriend will lead to nothing but pain for you, her, and him. I speak from very intimate experience when I say the last fucking thing someone coming back from the worst shit you ever want to deal with is to learn the thing that you've been using to keep yourself sane is to find out that they have been cheating on you.
It won't be a thanks bro for telling me *brofist* situation, its going to be a "there isn't a jury in the world that will convict me if I blame it on PTSD" situation.
Walk
The
Fuck
Away
Move on with your life and let it be.
You can keep making threads trying to get people to justify your assfuckery but at the end of the day the girl is a bad person and you are a bad person.
Telling a guy back from seeing actual combat in a war zone that you were shagging his girlfriend whilst he was away will not be good for your health
Leave it alone, you're not the wronged party here. The boyfriend is.
To be honest, what you've got right now is an opportunity, but it may in fact play out several ways. The only one in control of this is you.
Nobody here is suggesting that she hasn't done a bad thing, but you should face facts that you were complicit. Regardless of who has been lied to, your current actions and way of justifying it to yourself and us, speaks only of trying to get revenge. 3 threads of it.
If you take THAT route, you would be an asshole.
Nobody likes assholes, but now you have a grade-A opportunity to rise above your own impulses, and start on a new path of self-awareness. It'll help you treat others better, learn something about yourself, and could even turn your whole fucking life around by making you become more introspective, thinking before doing. Shit, that'd be awesome for anybody, regardless of circumstances.
Or, you could go with your original plan, and just be asshole. Which is, of course, equally great because there aren't enough assholes out there in the world today, are there?
Fuck that noise you're all motherfucking crazy. No wonder this part of the forums has so much fucking relationship problems.
He wasn't bothered about her having a boyfriend before. In fact the only reason he's contemplating telling the boyfriend is because he feels wronged (the OP is a silly goose though).
Still beside the point, OP is a silly goose, no doubts. Boyfriend in this case still deserves to know even if OP is going to be a silly goose about the whole situation. He could whack off on her face while telling the dude if he wanted.
I just take solace in the fact that if someone cheats on someone else with you, there's a good chance they'll cheat on you with someone else.
In an ideal world (well besides this shit storm not taking place), he should convince the girl to own up. Then let the BF make a decision on what to do. Because yes, I do agree that the BF needs to know the state of the relationship. I just disagree on it being the OP to tell him.
Him telling the boyfriend himself means getting involved in someone else's relationship. Granted he's already done that (in a much worse way) but this is just continuing the mess.
It's been 2 months now...obviously your hurt and still care because this is the 3rd thread. Telling him isn't going to give you any satisfaction like "I showed her and she got what was coming..." and it's definitely not gonna make her go "well now that this relationship is over, I'll go back to this dude"...Well, it might because this chick is bat-shit crazy. BUT YOUR NOT GOING TO FEEL ANY BETTER!!
You can play fantasy...think about everything playing out, however you want to see it go down. You tell him, they break up, she comes back to you...you're still going to know that she cheated at some point so that will always be in the back of your mind "She cheated before...what if she is cheating on me".
Move on.
Best case scenario: Somebody you don't know now hates you (instead of some anonymous "other" he doesn't know) for reasons you could have easily avoided.
Worst case scenario: You get shanked.
That worst case is an extreme case, but a broken nose is not. There are a lot of guys in the world that will punch somebody for taking their girl, even a lot of them who like to think they could be civil in that discussion will. And that number only gets bigger if you're smaller than him.
By creating this confrontation in which you are the instigator, you gain nothing. You gain no meaningful revenge, petty jealousy is often a thing that cannot be satisfied by petty revenge, and you probably don't even hurt anyone involved, if this girl is as terrible as you imply she will not be overly concerned with the feelings of either of the men she's hurt. You will not win her back now that you have interfered with her other relationship and instigated conflict between her and somebody else. And if you do, you are now setting yourself up to be in his position.
Nobody involved gains anything except this other guy, who now knows she's a cheater... and he knows because YOU cheated with HER, and now here you are standing in front of him with that smug look on your face. Trust me, the distinction between "she cheated with you" and "you cheated with her" is usually lost on the jilted party at this moment.
I'm with Bowen. I don't care WHAT the motivation is... if I were the other dude I would want to know. I would want to know so I could get out sooner rather than later. Shit what if I wasted more of my short time on earth with this horrible person?
Why would anyone not want to know that shit?
I think you are all freaking insane.
This is just as bad as looking through someone's phone and finding out they cheated on you. It doesn't make it right that you're doing it, but it doesn't excuse the other person from their actions either. This person deserves to know just because it's the decent thing to do. Telling the girl she needs to own up to it is ... let's say fanciful, she will probably never do it. Dude buys her things she isn't going to risk that. OP is a big fat goose about it sure, maybe he wants to be smug, who the fuck cares. A random phone call or text to this dude or letting his support network know is a good idea.
It doesn't matter who slept with whom or if he was complacent that this girl was cheating and he was part of it and happy to do so before. Boyfriend deserves to know to at least wrap his dick in the future.
I agree the OP should go and tell him.
Do it on base, in front of all of his buddies, and go into intimate details about where, when, and how good each time was.
Then we won't have to listen to another fourteen threads as he tries to spin things to make him seem like the victim and justify his pettiness. His threads will evolve into much more entertaining threads such as "How do I pleasure myself with two broken arms" and the hilarious soon to be classic "How do I meet new people while wearing a colostomy bag?".
OP, you're an awful person and should stop looking for validation of your revenge fantasies and work on not being terrible. Stop pretending that your concern is with the guy who you fucked over. It isn't. You're feelings are hurt because she ultimately chose him over you.
The girl may be a leech, but it aint none of your business. Walk away.
@ironkids17 - Why have you made multiple posts about the same question? If you were looking for someone to tell you what you wanted to hear, that being "tell him"...why haven't you just done it already?
I'm starting to think you're trolling
Leave an anonymous note, and leave them both alone for good.
Those of you that think the girlfriend is going to tell the boyfriend... that's a fantasy. She's not going to if what OP says is true about the spending in the relationship. Oh well, tell the step sister so she can decide what is best as she knows the boyfriend better than you do.
But you asked, so here is some advice, gratis. You still sound like a terrible person. If she didn't exist to you you would stop thinking about fucking around in her life. Go away. Also stop making threads about this. The next time I see one from you I will ban you.