someone broke into my house and drank my soda

Local H Jay

seriously, you got away with my walet and my jacket. you needed to go the extra mile of assholelery and drink my last soda, too.

prick waltzed in and ate all my food, took my shit, and oh yeah, cracked a can of soda to take one sip and through it on floor. classy.

PiptheFair

I was thirsty

Ashcroft

This is why I poison all food and drink in my house.

stimtokolos

Were you out without your wallet or was it a spare?

LBD_Nytetrayn

Going from the thread title, I have no idea if I'd be more pissed at what happened, or if he just broke in and only wasted the soda.

Local H Jay

stimtokolos wrote: »

Were you out without your wallet or was it a spare?

it was my only wallet, I was sleeping 5 feet from it when they took it

Karl

You are the heaviest of sleepers

Peccavi

Have you considered that the person is STILL IN THE HOUSE?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06X9qXTvKNQ

Fyndir

Local H Jay wrote: »

stimtokolos wrote: »

Were you out without your wallet or was it a spare?

it was my only wallet, I was sleeping 5 feet from it when they took it

Well fuck.

Beasteh

maybe invest in some security

Local H Jay

next time I'll buy thicker windows, I guess

Beasteh

how in the everloving FUCK does a window being broken/forced not wake you

Local H Jay

it's a big house, I sleep like a rock? I dunno I'm sorry I wish I could have woken up but I didn't so yeah

believe me I'm freaked the fuck out, dude was straight chilling in my room while I slept.

ZeroFill

how high/drunk were you last night

Local H Jay

ZeroFill wrote: »

how high/drunk were you last night

neither, I was playing halo 4 in my boxers and being fat
but being drunk/high would have made it less shitty to be murdered in my sleep

ZeroFill

I don't even know what I would do if I found an intruder in my house at night

I'm not interested in killing anyone in my own house so shooting them isn't something I'd do

I've always thought about having a shotgun loaded with only rubber pellets so they'll just wish they were dead

DaMoonRulz

Start sleeping ON your wallet

PiptheFair

Beasteh wrote: »

Beasteh wrote: »

maybe invest in some security

I'd say buy a gun but if you can sleep through a dude pick pocketing you then what the fuck man

King Riptor

that's really fucked up.
It's also why I don't carry cash in sums greater than five bucks.

See now this guy was clearly on drugs because a sane person will not risk waking someone up for a fucking wallet so frankly it's better you didn't wake up. Might have gotten shanked.

Bendery It Like Beckham

I always fear that someone will break in to my house and steal my shit while I'm sleeping. Because I sleep like a fucking rock on the far end of a house.

JoeUser

Maybe it was you sleepwalking!

Dex Dynamo

One time when I still lived with my parents, my brother threw a shitty party while Lady Dynamo and I were away on a daytrip

And among all the other gross shit that was left for us (a turkey breast literally covered in gnats, shaving cream coating our bathroom, a bite taken out of our Lush massage bar), someone had opened a 20-oz bottle of soda I bought from Wawa, taken a single drink, and put it back in the fridge

Basically what I'm saying is sorry to hear that LHJ

Buttlord

ZeroFill wrote: »

I don't even know what I would do if I found an intruder in my house at night

scream like a child, piss myself, and run

Didgeridoo

Wait, wait

So someone broke a window, came into your house, rifled through/ ate your stuff and stole your wallet which was 5 feet away from you

Man I'm with King Riptor on this one, it's a good thing you are insanely unwakeable because you do not want to mess with a person desperate enough to do all that shit for such a small reward

Brainleech

Beasteh wrote: »

maybe invest in some security

I have a baseball bat, a shotgun and a coyote
one of them has been used on someone

Dex Dynamo

Brainleech wrote: »

Beasteh wrote: »

maybe invest in some security

I have a baseball bat, a shotgun and a coyote
one of them has been used on someone

Is that "someone" the wickedest home run in town history

people cheering, the youth center is saved

Lost Salient

Wait rewind to the bit where you have a coyote?

(LHJ that is creepy as shit and terrifying and I'm really sorry. I would pee myself if I were in your shoes so I hope my dog deters anyone who wants to break in to my home.)

Sheri

Someone tried to break into my mom's house Monday

With the chain locks on the door, boyfriend home, and alarm system on.

They're not very smart.

Abracadaniel

MOMS BOYFRIEND

Sheri

Peccavi wrote: »

Have you considered that the person is STILL IN THE HOUSE?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06X9qXTvKNQ

Holy shit this video

Brainleech

Lost Salient wrote: »

Wait rewind to the bit where you have a coyote?

(LHJ that is creepy as shit and terrifying and I'm really sorry. I would pee myself if I were in your shoes so I hope my dog deters anyone who wants to break in to my home.)

yes I have a coyote
She followed me home one day and never left
I know this negihborhood is overrun with wild animals but you would try to break into the only home that a coyote looked at you from inside?
Yes I hit him with a baseball bat and he fell down moaning

Kadith

Brainleech wrote: »

Lost Salient wrote: »

Wait rewind to the bit where you have a coyote?

(LHJ that is creepy as shit and terrifying and I'm really sorry. I would pee myself if I were in your shoes so I hope my dog deters anyone who wants to break in to my home.)

yes I have a coyote
She followed me home one day and never left
I know this negihborhood is overrun with wild animals but you would try to break into the only home that a coyote looked at you from inside?
Yes I hit him with a baseball bat and he fell down moaning

pffft coyotes are tiny and sissies.

Lost Salient

I am gonna buy one of those big Mag-Lites for myself when I move back and just keep it by my bed for blackouts and people who may need to be hit in the face with a Mag-Lite

I have never actually hit anyone but I am fairly sure of my ability to do so if I needed to

Probably

Maybe...

TankHammer

I'm glad I've never had a home intrusion. I don't know if I'd handle it well or wuss-out and hide until they left.

And let me add that having a firearm for "protection" in this kind of situation where a wallet can be stolen feet from you is a tremendously bad idea. Then they'd have to deal with a probably drugged-up or desperate soda thief with a gun.

Brainleech

Kadith wrote: »

Brainleech wrote: »

Lost Salient wrote: »

Wait rewind to the bit where you have a coyote?

(LHJ that is creepy as shit and terrifying and I'm really sorry. I would pee myself if I were in your shoes so I hope my dog deters anyone who wants to break in to my home.)

yes I have a coyote
She followed me home one day and never left
I know this negihborhood is overrun with wild animals but you would try to break into the only home that a coyote looked at you from inside?
Yes I hit him with a baseball bat and he fell down moaning

pffft coyotes are tiny and sissies.

Sheri

Looks like a dog

Brainleech

Lost Salient wrote: »

I am gonna buy one of those big Mag-Lites for myself when I move back and just keep it by my bed for blackouts and people who may need to be hit in the face with a Mag-Lite

I have never actually hit anyone but I am fairly sure of my ability to do so if I needed to

Probably

Maybe...

I found one of them walking home one day
I now understand why take can be used as a baton as well

M.D.

Lost Salient wrote: »

I am gonna buy one of those big Mag-Lites for myself when I move back and just keep it by my bed for blackouts and people who may need to be hit in the face with a Mag-Lite

I have never actually hit anyone but I am fairly sure of my ability to do so if I needed to

Probably

Maybe...

get one of these!

Binary Squid

What kind of soda was it?

Lost Salient

But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

Kadith

Brainleech wrote: »

Kadith wrote: »

Brainleech wrote: »

Lost Salient wrote: »

Wait rewind to the bit where you have a coyote?

(LHJ that is creepy as shit and terrifying and I'm really sorry. I would pee myself if I were in your shoes so I hope my dog deters anyone who wants to break in to my home.)

yes I have a coyote
She followed me home one day and never left
I know this negihborhood is overrun with wild animals but you would try to break into the only home that a coyote looked at you from inside?
Yes I hit him with a baseball bat and he fell down moaning

pffft coyotes are tiny and sissies.

what a cutie

8->