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'Tis The Season For Webcomics!
Posts
next panel is ronnie eating caesar's mcnuggets
Ronnie, you...
You...
...No, damn it, I can't do it, Ronnie.
I can't despise you for this.
The rest of these fuckers, yeah, but not you.
It's impossible.
Chainsawsuit.
But this isn't about trust. This is about garbage. Pure, unadulterated garbage. This is about the environment's number one scourge.Yes, if you've been following me then you already know what I'm talking about:
Junk Mail.
Who in the blue is letting advertisers get away with the volume of crap paper they push into our P.O. Boxes and home mailboxes every day? It's like, instead of looking forward to the daily post, I should just sit around and become angry when a stranger comes by to put a bunch of crap on my property. Why is junk mail not considered littering? Why is the mailman not considered a litterer? He puts crap on my property, which I do not want. He puts crap on my property which says "Resident," and clearly is not intended for me.
This gives me an idea. Tomorrow, I am going to put the mailman under citizen's arrest. Tomorrow, it is a new day for the rights of a new age. The unforgivable cycle of forest-rape and mailbox-rape shall be dealt a bellwether knell, tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
"You're under citizen's arrest," I said, "For the felony of class-A littering and dissemination of hazardous materials." (based on my research I had learned that some of the bleaches used in the preparation of low-cost paper remain toxic well after processing).
At that point he, being larger than me (of Pacific Islander descent, I surmised), threw me across the yard and into the side of a car. As I lay on the driveway, struggling for breath, he lurched over to me and pulled out a bunch of my hair. Then, adding insult to injury, he stuffed all the hair into my mouth and made me chew it up. He then kicked me switftly in the temple and I lost consciousness for a good while. I was only brought to when the evening sprinklers went off and began splashing my face.
I have spent a goodly part of the evening looking for a pro bono attorney to handle the case, which should be pretty much a slam dunk. If the USPS closes up shop next week, you'll know who to thank.
Secondly, the post office has stopped delivering my mail. I don't know if that Samoan oaf is deliberately dumping it down a storm drain, or if mail cannot be delivered to those who are suing the post office, or what. So now I have to use UPS for all of my legal paperwork, and the expenses are quickly adding up.
The thing that absolutely has me seeing red, though, is that the day after the accident the police officer FINALLY showed up to take my report, and he had the damn nerve to chuckle as I was explaining why I consider junk mail to be littering, and why a littering mailman is a trespasser. When I told him how I had placed the mailman under citizen's arrest, he actually let out a loud, braying laugh, and I couldn't take it any more. I grabbed him by the shoulder, looked him straight in the eye, and, quite clearly, I told him that he was under citizen's arrest.
The son of a bitch had the nerve to radio for backup, which at that point he had no right to. I mirandized him and attempted to cuff him. Resisting arrest, he knocked me down and held me under his boot until his backup units arrived, at which point I placed them all under citizen's arrest.
It makes me too furious to recount the rest of the events, especially the part where they went out for pizza while I waited in the police car, and then teased me with a cold slice of pepperoni, so I guess you'll have to wait until my story breaks in the papers.
Broodhollow.
The temptation proved too great, and those dancing were misrepresenting the form so horribly that I felt compelled to clear the floor with my cane and show how good swing is done. Taking the nearest lady, who happened to be a somewhat portly femme, as my partner, I yelled to the band to start up again. They launched into some lively time, and I felt the old rhythm start to pump within me. Soon I was leading the female around the floor, only to discover that she was as cooperative as an angry couch, and about as wieldy. Disgusted with her esprit de corps, I spun her off into the audience, and then embarked upon a familiar old solo swing routine I used to do back in my peak.
I suppose the strains of the recent attacks, as well as all the time it's been since I was in top shape, were working against me. I executed a perfect backflip which was meant to go directly into the splits, but as I landed I felt myself go into a blinding pain.
Several hours later I awoke in the hospital, with both my legs in traction. Dr. Andretti informed me that both of my knees had been hyperextended, and that it would be a period of several weeks before I could attempt unassisted ambulation again. I don't need to tell you that in my down time, I will be preparing an iron-clad legal case against the post office, the police department, and all who were in attendance at Ray's party this Friday.
My efforts to preserve the webcomics thread are just one act of repentance, one golden tile of Muirthemne.
muir... comics you say?
HAPPY TO OBLIGE
you have literally murdered me
someone call Robot Santa
rejoice and be of glad tidings
Ronnie's dream girl everyone
I don't know if nattazilla's tumblr has any nsfw stuff in the archives but it's pretty easy to find with all the information you've just been given.
man
almost exactly this happened to me last weekend
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
you're doin' God's work son
He constantly has fundraising drives for a few thousand $$$ to keep the webcomic going
I believe he makes a living off of advertising, merchandise, donations, and commissions
bad
stop
jaw fucking on the floor
this is the greatest news
AFTER SIX YEARS MY HEART IS WHOLE ONCE MORE
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
I started reading ALIL in 2004/2005 and I met Dave and Dale at my first ever SPX and then they went on hiatus and I was heartbroken forever
It's a christmas miracle
never stop fighting the good fight
muircity is arguably the most profound post-dada polistroika refound naturalist expository interrogative in the medium of webcomics
omg did dril get a blog
This is me with the forums.
Steam: YOU FACE JARAXXUS| Twitch.tv: CainLoveless
he'll never recover from Erin Winters' ginger allure