I need HELP PLEASE!!!!

Clarke_Mead

Hello guys I'm having a problem and I could really use some advice. So here's the story... My boyfriend and I has sex january 3rd and WE USED A CONDOM AND HE DID NOT EJACULATE. We actually used 2 condoms. Not at The same time but we switched the condoms just to be more cautious. Okay so that's that. Now I got my period on the 14th of January I believe. And I have not had sex since January 3rd. My period was regular it was normal and heavy like it usually is. Now on January 24th I started getting really light bleeding. like brownish color blood. And it was very light. And now every now and then I keep getting period like cramps. Exactly how I would feel when I'm about to get my period. Only my period isn't coming. I'm not due until February 20th or so is my guess. I'm always irregular but I've never had such light bleeding before like that. I keep feeling nauseous at random times of the day and I'm getting major headaches. And just recently today I started becoming sensitive to smells. And my stomach hurts. I don't want to believe the I am pregnant because I did get my period! After the last time I had sex. And I repeat my boyfriend used 2 condoms (we switched out) he did not ejaculate and I got normal heavy period. So could all the symptoms all just be in my head? I mean I wasn't feeling his way until I started thinking about it too much. I've only had sex 3 times in my life and I always get paranoid about it very time because I always feel these symptoms. Please give me some advice. No rude comments please.

Xaquin

I think you're probably fine

Essee

You're almost certainly not pregnant, it's cool. Breakthrough bleeding (light, brown-colored bleeding) is a perfectly normal thing to have happen sometimes, and the cramps/headaches (could even be migraines given your scent sensitivity)/stomachache you're getting can go along with that. Your boyfriend didn't ejaculate and you were using condoms at the time anyway, so given there's no other evidence that you should be pregnant in your post, there's no reason you should be pregnant. So it's okay! I know sex can be stressful, especially when you're inexperienced and people are always telling girls about how if you're not abstinent you're going to get pregnant because something will inevitably go wrong AAAAHHH. But just breathe. You should really be just fine. Yay for being careful about condom use, go you!

I feel like you could use some general sex-positive info sites, but now's not a good time for me to go look up the ones I'm thinking of again because I have homework. If somebody wants to chime in with resources, I think that would be very helpful here.

Casually Hardcore

You're probably fine, but why not get a pregnancy test if you're this worried about it?

flowerhoney

First step is to take a deep breath and RELAX. Stressing out isn't going to help you at all!

I'm just go out on a limb here and say that if you had sex jan 3rd and then had your period jan 14th, you probably aren't pregnant.

Sometimes your body just does weird stuff and its hard to explain why, and freaking out about for sure isn't helping and is probably making every little thing waaaay more noticeable, thus feeding into your stress, vicious cycle.

What I would do is head over your local planned parenthood or clinic and go on birth control if you can afford it. Lots of PPs have plans and options if you're low income or nervous. Anyways start using birth control (I personally prefer the ring but everyone is different). Once you're on birth control, don't stop using a condom but you can at least relax a lot more knowing that you're more protected than before. Trust me I know EXACTLY how you feel, I'm the kind of person who's always freaking out about stuff like this!

But yeah if you want to keep having sex, then find a way to calm yourself down! Maybe you want to use spermicide and a condom, maybe you want to stop having vaginal intercourse for a little while, whatever is gonna work for you

tynic

Stress can cause spotting or irregular bleeding. And headaches and nausea are all symptoms of stress or anxiety, too. If you get paranoid after sex, that could definitely be a contributing factor. I really, really doubt you are pregnant. Moreover, if you are worried about that, or your health in general, you should really just go see a doctor or a clinic for your own peace of mind, provided you can afford to do so.

Kabitzy

I am not a doctor (IANAD!) but spotting by itself isn't something to be alarmed over. If you have recently started BC pills, spotting is a common thing that can happen.

I'd make an appt with a ob-gyn and talk about your symptoms just to be safe, especially since you say this has happened every time after having sex. They can help you determine what, if anything, is going on.

I'll reiterate everyone else though: you are VERY unlikely to be pregnant since you have had your period.

Totally anecdotal but, I experienced very similar symptoms to yours after having sex and having my period, (minus the spotting) which scared me. Turned out I had a UTI! Took some antibiotics and that was that.

Brolo

You seem more than a little stressed out about this, which can greatly contribute to your feelings of nausea, headaches and cramps. But I agree with everyone else here - you likely aren't pregnant.

Clarke_Mead

Flowerhoney I am definitely not going to be having any kind of intercourse anymore. Thanks Ali for your advice! I greatly appreciate it.

Clarke_Mead

And Tynic thank you too! What you guys are saying is really helping me out.. Thank you alot.

Clarke_Mead

Thank you all.. Essee, Rolo, Kabitzy thank youu so much.

tynic

Clarke_Mead wrote: »

Flowerhoney I am definitely not going to be having any kind of intercourse anymore. Thanks Ali for your advice! I greatly appreciate it.

Obviously this is your choice. But you do seem to be unnecessarily frightened of the consequences of sex, and sound like you could use some sex-positive reassurance about things.

Clarke_Mead

Obviously this is your choice. But you do seem to be unnecessarily frightened of the consequences of sex, and sound like you could use some sex-positive reassurance about things.[/quote]



I really could.

Usagi

You might want to check out Scarleteen, they do a pretty great job of answering questions that might be awkward to ask elsewhere

Ruby Rhod

Here's a couple good info links for you:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/info-for-teens/

http://sexetc.org/

http://www.sexinfo101.com/

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/

Just peruse those at your leisure for any questions you might have.

flowerhoney

Not having vaginal sex is totally valid, there are tons of other ways to be sexual with your partner. Honestly it sounds like you just aren't ready yet and that's completely fine

It really would really do you some good to learn more about sex and how to have safe sex so you feel less nervous. Hell I still freak out over a late period from time to time, even when its totally irrational

Magdar

Stress can manifest all manner of real physical symptoms. When I was a kid I was so stressed about going to school that I wound up barfing everywhere. So, yeah, if you're worried (though it sounds like you're almost certainly safe) get a pregnancy test. Oh, and take a couple of deep breaths. If you're this worried about sex, it's probably best to figure out where the stress is coming from and address it. If it's fear of pregnancy, then maybe you should look into more effective temporary birth control, though if you can cope with it, abstinence works too.

Elimination

You sound a lot like my current girlfriend. She is ok with me doing sexual acts on her, but is deathly afraid of me/my parts even me taking off my shirt makes her uncomfortable. She is very comfortable with her own body but completely uncomfortable with mine/anyone elses. We had sex twice during our relationship (It hasn't been super long.) and I'm the only person she's had sex with. She has had the EXACT same problems as you, and it was all due to her working herself up in her head and over-thinking things. She lets all her fears take over in her mind and freak herself out and then she says things like she doesn't want to have sex anymore ect. Just like you.

I just want to say that it IS your choice, but like my girlfriend, it's mostly pretty much in your head. You are working yourself up and freaking yourself out, and that does cause your body to react under that stress and that is probably what you are experiencing, and due to that reaction you are freaking out even more because of it. I believe that what you have (and my girlfriend.) is almost like a phobia of sexual intercourse, and it's something that I think is very hard to get through, but positive reinforcement is definitely part of it. Also your feelings for your boyfriend should factor heavily into this as well, if your relationship is solid, then it makes getting through these things a lot easier, I know my girlfriend is bit by bit working on it herself, and I never push her to do anything. It helps that our relationship in non-sexual areas is extremely solid. Hope that helps.

Forar

I am not a doctor, nor am I a woman, but from what I've read being in a state of heightened stress can cause issues or even what appear to be symptoms to manifest. If these issues seem to be a problem or symptomatic of something that scares you, it can compound on itself. Basically, stressing can cause other issues which cause more stress. It's like the circle of gang violence, except where your body and mind are busy flipping each other the bird and your day to day life gets caught in the crossfire.

If you had your period a week and a half after your last sexual encounter, used condoms and he didn't ejaculate, it does seem like the odds are against you being pregnant. Speaking to a doctor and/or taking a pregnancy test might help alleviate your fears of being pregnant, and I also recommend reading through some of the links provided. The better informed you are, the more prepared you'll be for some of the curveballs life can throw at us. As you're likely learning, sex is a funny thing.

No, seriously, it can induce some pretty good laughter (pro-tip, try to avoid this while he's taking off his pants unless, like, he pratfalls onto his ass while doing it, if your chosen lovers are young and/or inexperienced it isn't going to help their confidence :-P )

But more seriously, it's a funny, messy, exhilarating and even sometimes disconcerting thing. Proceed with caution and certainly go at your own pace. If you're not feeling comfortable with something, say so and go with something else or stop as you see fit. A good significant other/lover will respect your feelings on the matter, and anyone who tries to pressure you when you've made yourself clear isn't worth wasting time and energy on.

So best of luck and try not to be too hard on yourself about being a bit wary.