Nul points! [Eurovision]

Liiya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfo-8z86x80

I guess its this time of year again! Sweden won last year with their MC Hammer slide, but did they have a manboat? No.

Eurovision Song Contest 2013 will be the 58th and held in Malmo, Sweden because they won last year with the final being on the 18th of May. In a twisted turn of events Bosnia and Herzegovina, Portugal, Slovakia and Turkey will not be joining in which is a shame because they often bring in some comedy gold.

Here's a lovely map of who's taking part.

red = Countries in the first semi-final
pink = Countries voting in the first semi-final
dark blue = Countries in the second semi-final
light blue = Countries voting in the second semi-final

Here are some past classic highlights:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgUstrmJzyc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h_hN0xQYv4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1viLmPCeAM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfjHJneVonE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqwBh9hq9PE

Enjoy!

(I can't believe I feel I need to add this but this is not a serious thing!)

Edited extra content from Wiet!

Wiet wrote: »

FIRST SEMIFINAL 14 MAY

Austria - Natália Kelly - Shine
Belgium - Roberto Bellarosa - Love Kills (Belgium)
Cyprus - Despina Olympiou - An Me Thimáse
Denmark - Emmelie De Forest - Only Teardrops
Ireland - Ryan Dolan - Only Love Survives
Moldova - Aliona Moon - O Mie
Montenegro - Who See - Igranka
Russia - Dina Garipova - What If (Russia)
Belarus - Alyona Lanskaya - Solayoh
Croatia - Klapa s Mora - Mižerja
Estonia - Birgit Õigemeel - Et Uus Saaks Alguse
Lithuania - Andrius Pojavis - Something
The Netherlands - Anouk - Birds
Serbia - Moje 3 - Ljubav je svuda
Slovenia - Hannah - Straight Into Love
Ukraine - Zlata Ognevich - Gravity

SECOND SEMIFINAL 16 MAY

Albania - Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko - Identitet
Finland - Krista Siegfrids - Marry Me
Greece - Koza Mostra & Agathon Iakovidis - Alcohol Is Free
Hungary - ByeAlex - Kedvesem (Zoohacker Remix)
Iceland - Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson - Ég á Líf
Israel - Moran Mazor - Rak bishvilo
Latvia - PeR - Here We Go
Romania - Cesar - It's My Life (Romania)
San Marino - Valentina Monetta - Crisalide
Switserland - Takasa - You And Me
Armenia - Dorians - Lonely Planet
Bulgaria - Elitsa & Stoyan - Samo Shampioni
Georgia - Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani
Macedonia - Esma & Lozano - Pred Da Se Razdeni
Malta -Gianluca Bezzina - Tomorrow
Norway - Margaret Berger - I Feed You My Love
Azerbaijan - Farid Mammadov - Hold Me

GRAND FINAL 18 MAY

Sweden - Robin Stjernberg - You
France - Amandine Bourgeois - L'Enfer Et Moi
Germany - Cascada - Glorious
Italy - Marco Mengoni - L'Essenziale
Spain - ESDM - Contigo Hasta El Final (With You Until The End)
United Kingdom - Bonnie Tyler - Believe In Me

fightinfilipino

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxopViU98Xo

Zandracon

aw, no jedward this year

Beasteh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YivhhrYmRY

Liiya

Beasteh wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YivhhrYmRY

Guess I'm voting for Ireland this year.

Kochikens

this will be my first eurovision

i am excited

JayKaos

OP lacks old russian ladies with their dancing oven.

YaYa

what the hell do you mean it's not a serious thing?!

this is my second Eurovision and I have been looking forward to it for mooonnnttthhhss

David_T

I can heartily recommend Nul Points, the Tim Moore book where he travels the globe finding and interviewing the unlucky few that managed to actually end up with zero points at a Eurovision.

Some have taken it well, others not so much.

Liiya

JayKaos wrote: »

OP lacks old russian ladies with their dancing oven.

My god, fixed!!

Straightzi

Zandracon wrote: »

aw, no jedward this year

Boycott.

Snicketysnick

I still don't think anything is going to top Manboat.

Have we picked the UK entry yet or are we just entering One Direction or something?

Liiya

Snicketysnick wrote: »

I still don't think anything is going to top Manboat.

Have we picked the UK entry yet or are we just entering One Direction or something?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqXk_FRw62Q

HellaJeff

I love Eurovision.

Zandracon

hahaha, goddamn, kinda disappointed these guys weren't picked for Estonia, would've been interesting

their performance is incredibly... unique
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=2dllo85ZSUk#!

Snicketysnick

Liiya wrote: »

Snicketysnick wrote: »

I still don't think anything is going to top Manboat.

Have we picked the UK entry yet or are we just entering One Direction or something?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqXk_FRw62Q

Alright, I can get behind Bonnie Tyler.

No I am not going to put the eyebrow waggle smiley in here, jeeze.

JayKaos

Liiya wrote: »

JayKaos wrote: »

OP lacks old russian ladies with their dancing oven.

My god, fixed!!

Perfect.

Wombat!!

Winny Puhh is a fucking treasure.

Langly

i always follow this when someone puts up a thread and I always am confused because it seems like everyone thinks it's dumb and everyone in the competition sucks, and it's like...why is this happening when everyone hates it????

facetious

Oh shit! I forgot it was soon! I've had so much on my mind with getting ready to go back to my summer job.

I forgot about manboat. Eurovision I love you so much.

Liiya

Langly wrote: »

i always follow this when someone puts up a thread and I always am confused because it seems like everyone thinks it's dumb and everyone in the competition sucks, and it's like...why is this happening when everyone hates it????

No ones hates it! It is so bad its good, its so bad its funny.

Eurovision loves you too, Facetious.

facetious

As always I'm going to pick two or three low-key songs that suit my tastes but then finish in like dead last in the final because Actually Good Songs never win Eurovision.

Alexander Ryback though. 8->

HeadCreeps

Europe is weird

Zandracon

Okay yeah, actually like Greece's entry I guess.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3k2MOJOkKg

Liiya

[Greece economy/Eurovision-entry joke]

Mr Bubbles

Dougal: I've got Eurosong fever, Ted.

Ted: Yeah?

Dougal: Oh god, yeah. I love the Eurosong competition. I just can't wait. What time is it now?

Father Ted: Half past one.
Dougal: Half one?! And the competition is on in...

Father Ted: May.

Solar

Ah yes

Eurovision, my old foe

we meet again

Platy

Yay, thanks, Liiya.

Looking forward to watching the contest with you guys, as always. If it weren't for you, there would be no one with whom I could share my love for Eurovision.

Ashcroft

Beasteh wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YivhhrYmRY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_Jo0K4Q4eM

Platy

Zandracon wrote: »

aw, no jedward this year

and, luckily, no Trackshittaz

B_R

Luckily ???

Liiya

Platypus Beirut wrote: »

Zandracon wrote: »

aw, no jedward this year

and, luckily, no Trackshittaz

Noooooooo!

Platy

I wish they had performed that song in the actual contest. Maybe they also wouldn't have finished last in the semi-final if their performance had included a tractor.

Zandracon

I did not know there was a swedish visual kei dude
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C49hM_2aOM

Gumpy

Liiya wrote: »

Snicketysnick wrote: »

I still don't think anything is going to top Manboat.

Have we picked the UK entry yet or are we just entering One Direction or something?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqXk_FRw62Q

I'm sorry but where are the fireworks and glitter

There's a reason no one votes for us!

Platy

Austria's only winning entry, from 1966.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bec7AUwA9js

Mr Bubbles

This still remains completely great

http://youtu.be/jfeiCaRJgMY

Liiya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVvz7NA28CM

1981 knew how to win.

Mr Bubbles

Let's not forget one of the greatest pop bands of all time.

http://youtu.be/5c0qzz0P86U

Mr Bubbles

This, too, remains a fantastic song. I think I like eurovision too much.
Starts at 1:07
http://youtu.be/X8oTtSTRdSw

Rhesus Positive

This is the one time of year I regret not having a TV licence.

I could watch Eurovision the Sunday after on iPlayer, but it's an event that requires live participation with a gradually drunker crowd of friends, culminating in somebody telling the same tired jokes over and over during the voting before being called out on it and everybody feeling a bit uncomfortable for the rest of the evening.