I keep trying to make a post about the current topic of discussion, and then like, halfway through just mutter to myself "No no, that doesn't sound right at all" and then delete it.
So... this is my post. Enjoy...?
+4
MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
I guess I just don't like the idea of someone I'm dating only wanting to be with me because I'm an oddity or a fetish in their eye. Makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm just there to fulfill some sexual fantasy. I want them to be into me for me, and not because I'm trans.
Well yeah. Like I said, they had better see me as a human first.
I guess it was the phrasing of anon's question. Why say you want to date a translady? If you're cool with dating one that's awesome. Just be into women or whoever and if you happen to run into a transgirl and you're ok with it, awesome. Just don't seek us out like we're some kind of exotic fruit. I've already had a couple "messages" on a throwaway on a different forum that made me uncomfortable that started out like that.
It's not up to me to decide if he's fetishizing people, being disingenuous, or whatever. It's up to the people he approaches to decide if they like the way they're being treated and react accordingly.
He did ask a question, though, and like I promised, I answered it.
Oh I understand, and like I said I could be wrong and he just phrased his question wrong. Was basically throwing my 2 cents in, because if he does want to date a trans girl he shouldn't approach her like that; it could ruin his chances.
I worry more about people who know all the right things to say.
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
@HyperBallad has mentioned to me she's always been interested in asian guys more so than most people.
She then told me she thinks this started when she preferred Li Shang from Mulan over the other Disney princes, when she was younger.
I nearly broke a rib laughing and hugging her while she blushed in embarrassment.
+12
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
edited April 2013
I dated a girl who's parents were from hong-kong about ten years ago. You could tell all the hardcore "yellow fever" dudes by the angry glares when out & about.
I guess I just don't like the idea of someone I'm dating only wanting to be with me because I'm an oddity or a fetish in their eye. Makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm just there to fulfill some sexual fantasy. I want them to be into me for me, and not because I'm trans.
Well yeah. Like I said, they had better see me as a human first.
I guess it was the phrasing of anon's question. Why say you want to date a translady? If you're cool with dating one that's awesome. Just be into women or whoever and if you happen to run into a transgirl and you're ok with it, awesome. Just don't seek us out like we're some kind of exotic fruit. I've already had a couple "messages" on a throwaway on a different forum that made me uncomfortable that started out like that.
It's not up to me to decide if he's fetishizing people, being disingenuous, or whatever. It's up to the people he approaches to decide if they like the way they're being treated and react accordingly.
He did ask a question, though, and like I promised, I answered it.
Oh I understand, and like I said I could be wrong and he just phrased his question wrong. Was basically throwing my 2 cents in, because if he does want to date a trans girl he shouldn't approach her like that; it could ruin his chances.
I worry more about people who know all the right things to say.
It means they've been practicing.
Yeah. When I do start dating again I think that's always going to be in the back of my head, and I'll definitely be wary of anyone I date wanting to be with me simply because they want a woman with a penis.
I guess I just don't like the idea of someone I'm dating only wanting to be with me because I'm an oddity or a fetish in their eye. Makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm just there to fulfill some sexual fantasy. I want them to be into me for me, and not because I'm trans.
Well yeah. Like I said, they had better see me as a human first.
I guess it was the phrasing of anon's question. Why say you want to date a translady? If you're cool with dating one that's awesome. Just be into women or whoever and if you happen to run into a transgirl and you're ok with it, awesome. Just don't seek us out like we're some kind of exotic fruit. I've already had a couple "messages" on a throwaway on a different forum that made me uncomfortable that started out like that.
It's not up to me to decide if he's fetishizing people, being disingenuous, or whatever. It's up to the people he approaches to decide if they like the way they're being treated and react accordingly.
He did ask a question, though, and like I promised, I answered it.
Oh I understand, and like I said I could be wrong and he just phrased his question wrong. Was basically throwing my 2 cents in, because if he does want to date a trans girl he shouldn't approach her like that; it could ruin his chances.
I worry more about people who know all the right things to say.
It means they've been practicing.
Yeah. When I do start dating again I think that's always going to be in the back of my head, and I'll definitely be wary of anyone I date wanting to be with me simply because they want a woman with a penis.
I'm kind of terrified of starting to date again.
Not for this reason or anything. Just in general. I feel like I'll be completely lost and not know what to do.
Yeah, I think what it comes down to, and this was basically said earlier, but if someone wants to date someone just for their body or some physical aspect of them, and not for the person themselves, then that is not going to be a healthy relationship, regardless of if the people involved are trans or not.
There has to be genuine interest in them as a person.
+1
TrippyJingMoses supposes his toeses are roses.But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered Userregular
I guess I just don't like the idea of someone I'm dating only wanting to be with me because I'm an oddity or a fetish in their eye. Makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm just there to fulfill some sexual fantasy. I want them to be into me for me, and not because I'm trans.
Well yeah. Like I said, they had better see me as a human first.
I guess it was the phrasing of anon's question. Why say you want to date a translady? If you're cool with dating one that's awesome. Just be into women or whoever and if you happen to run into a transgirl and you're ok with it, awesome. Just don't seek us out like we're some kind of exotic fruit. I've already had a couple "messages" on a throwaway on a different forum that made me uncomfortable that started out like that.
It's not up to me to decide if he's fetishizing people, being disingenuous, or whatever. It's up to the people he approaches to decide if they like the way they're being treated and react accordingly.
He did ask a question, though, and like I promised, I answered it.
Oh I understand, and like I said I could be wrong and he just phrased his question wrong. Was basically throwing my 2 cents in, because if he does want to date a trans girl he shouldn't approach her like that; it could ruin his chances.
I worry more about people who know all the right things to say.
It means they've been practicing.
Yeah. When I do start dating again I think that's always going to be in the back of my head, and I'll definitely be wary of anyone I date wanting to be with me simply because they want a woman with a penis.
I'm kind of terrified of starting to date again.
Not for this reason or anything. Just in general. I feel like I'll be completely lost and not know what to do.
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
I know you don't mean it that way Tank but I really don't want someone to date me for the novelty of it or to check me off of their dating/have sex with list. And there's a big difference to me between someone liking different hair colors on a woman and wanting to date a trans girl.
Just be open to dating a person and don't actively seek out a trans girl to date, it's just creeps me out that someone would be interested in me for that particular part of myself.
It's cool. I get it and I'm on the same page.
Putting that all into specific language is just harder than it should be.
I once briefly dated a girl who was 6'1". I didn't go out actively seeking tall women to date, we just shared interests and I met her through my old OKCupid profile. Once I was aware of her height however, it wasn't like I became completely blind to it. It was a thing I noticed and a thing I thought was pretty cool but it also came with some unexpected new challenges. Her hands were as big as my hands for example, which I had never thought about before but it was something I became very aware of when we'd hold hands and I had to process that and become alright with it. What I did like was that I could look her in the eye without looking down, something I don't even encounter often with other guys. The idea of what sexual positions might now be possible was discussed but we didn't date long-enough to really explore all that.
We only went out a few times so I don't have any long-term insight but I figure I'd react similarly in a hypothetical situation where she were transgender instead of just above average height. Not something I was seeking-out but something I thought was cool and interesting once it was brought to my attention.
For the record, I'd like to see trans-people get more love out there and encourage it. I can't imagine what it's like to get hatred and fear on one side and creepiness coming from the other side with relatively few people willing to treat you "normally". I hope acceptance continues to pick up momentum to the point where these conversations aren't half as awkward to have as they are now.
I guess I just don't like the idea of someone I'm dating only wanting to be with me because I'm an oddity or a fetish in their eye. Makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm just there to fulfill some sexual fantasy. I want them to be into me for me, and not because I'm trans.
Well yeah. Like I said, they had better see me as a human first.
I guess it was the phrasing of anon's question. Why say you want to date a translady? If you're cool with dating one that's awesome. Just be into women or whoever and if you happen to run into a transgirl and you're ok with it, awesome. Just don't seek us out like we're some kind of exotic fruit. I've already had a couple "messages" on a throwaway on a different forum that made me uncomfortable that started out like that.
It's not up to me to decide if he's fetishizing people, being disingenuous, or whatever. It's up to the people he approaches to decide if they like the way they're being treated and react accordingly.
He did ask a question, though, and like I promised, I answered it.
Oh I understand, and like I said I could be wrong and he just phrased his question wrong. Was basically throwing my 2 cents in, because if he does want to date a trans girl he shouldn't approach her like that; it could ruin his chances.
I worry more about people who know all the right things to say.
It means they've been practicing.
Yeah. When I do start dating again I think that's always going to be in the back of my head, and I'll definitely be wary of anyone I date wanting to be with me simply because they want a woman with a penis.
Wary is one thing, but don't underestimate people.
I would know, I'm the kind of person who dresses up in catsuits and gas masks at parties in order to stimulate that dehumanizing response.
Don't make up a generalizing rule and apply it, thinking it will be bullet proof. Talk to people, listen in return, and hear what they say. And if you decide you dont like what you hear, you're free to move on. Keep an open mind.
+1
Shortytouching the meatIntergalactic Cool CourtRegistered Userregular
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
my stomach was just sinking and sinking as I scrolled down that
and now it fell out my butt
God why does that turn me on
"he said, after having watched a lifetime of pornography"
Y'know I surprise myself, with all the porn I've seen I am still not into people's buttholes coming out.
it's kinda strange that we can talk about rectal prolapse as a thing of eroticism and not get arrested and sent to Tazmania or some shit
It's weird that people consider that erotic
most other things that I ain't into I can see being erotic
how is your asshole LITERALLY being turned inside out a turn on in ANY way
It can happen from having anal sex. It makes a whole lot more "sense" than most other fetishes since it is directly related to sex unlike the ever-popular foot fetishes and whatnot.
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
my stomach was just sinking and sinking as I scrolled down that
and now it fell out my butt
God why does that turn me on
"he said, after having watched a lifetime of pornography"
Y'know I surprise myself, with all the porn I've seen I am still not into people's buttholes coming out.
it's kinda strange that we can talk about rectal prolapse as a thing of eroticism and not get arrested and sent to Tazmania or some shit
It's weird that people consider that erotic
most other things that I ain't into I can see being erotic
how is your asshole LITERALLY being turned inside out a turn on in ANY way
It can happen from having anal sex. It makes a whole lot more "sense" than most other fetishes since it is directly related to sex unlike the ever-popular foot fetishes and whatnot.
I know how it happens, believe me
I just don't get how it's a turnon
if I was a foot fetishist I probably wouldn't find gross buniony feet sexy
Context, as ever, seems super important. Normally it's fucking sleazy and gross to just walk up to anyone and ask if they're dtf. But there are absolutely situations where sex is all people want to have with someone else and if it's consensual then that's OK too.
That said I think if you don't know going in whether or not it'd be okay to bring up that option then it isn't going to be.
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
and that seems wrong
Why is it wrong to not want people chasing you only for sexual gratification? It's pretty disturbing to me to have someone only want me because I'm trans.
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
and that seems wrong
Well, I believe it was more said that seeking out a trans person just to have sex with them is sleazy, so, a sleazy site like craigslist is a good place to look.
0
ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
and that seems wrong
Why is it wrong to not want people chasing you only for sexual gratification? It's pretty disturbing to me to have someone only want me because I'm trans.
I think Shorty is talking in general and you are talking in specific.
If other people want to have sex just because someone's trans, and that trans person wants to have sex with them, that's totally fine.
I personally would definitely not want that, at all, so I would not enjoy being chased for that.
Nothing wrong with chasing other people for that, if they want it, just leave me out of it, basically.
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
and that seems wrong
Why is it wrong to not want people chasing you only for sexual gratification? It's pretty disturbing to me to have someone only want me because I'm trans.
replace "trans" with any other aspect of your body/character
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
and that seems wrong
Why is it wrong to not want people chasing you only for sexual gratification? It's pretty disturbing to me to have someone only want me because I'm trans.
replace "trans" with any other aspect of your body/character
does this scenario still bother you?
It would bother the shit out of me, personally.
+3
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
edited April 2013
I feel like you're drastically oversimplifying attraction and relationships
like nobody is saying that slavering wolf-whistle eyes bugging and heart bursting out of their chest over the fact that you're trans is cool
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
and that seems wrong
Why is it wrong to not want people chasing you only for sexual gratification? It's pretty disturbing to me to have someone only want me because I'm trans.
replace "trans" with any other aspect of your body/character
does this scenario still bother you?
Yes.
+2
Shortytouching the meatIntergalactic Cool CourtRegistered Userregular
i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
and that seems wrong
Well, I believe it was more said that seeking out a trans person just to have sex with them is sleazy, so, a sleazy site like craigslist is a good place to look.
if it is sleazy to seek out trans people to have sex with because that is what turns you on, then it must also be sleazy to seek out any other person with any other specific qualities that turn you on
Posts
So... this is my post. Enjoy...?
I worry more about people who know all the right things to say.
It means they've been practicing.
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EDIT: To Trippy, that is
She then told me she thinks this started when she preferred Li Shang from Mulan over the other Disney princes, when she was younger.
I nearly broke a rib laughing and hugging her while she blushed in embarrassment.
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
Yeah. When I do start dating again I think that's always going to be in the back of my head, and I'll definitely be wary of anyone I date wanting to be with me simply because they want a woman with a penis.
Twitter Steam
Y'know I surprise myself, with all the porn I've seen I am still not into people's buttholes coming out.
I'm kind of terrified of starting to date again.
Not for this reason or anything. Just in general. I feel like I'll be completely lost and not know what to do.
There has to be genuine interest in them as a person.
I bet he made a man out of her!
...wait.
what if there's no desire to date
what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go
Well then there is craigslist :P
It's cool. I get it and I'm on the same page.
Putting that all into specific language is just harder than it should be.
I once briefly dated a girl who was 6'1". I didn't go out actively seeking tall women to date, we just shared interests and I met her through my old OKCupid profile. Once I was aware of her height however, it wasn't like I became completely blind to it. It was a thing I noticed and a thing I thought was pretty cool but it also came with some unexpected new challenges. Her hands were as big as my hands for example, which I had never thought about before but it was something I became very aware of when we'd hold hands and I had to process that and become alright with it. What I did like was that I could look her in the eye without looking down, something I don't even encounter often with other guys. The idea of what sexual positions might now be possible was discussed but we didn't date long-enough to really explore all that.
We only went out a few times so I don't have any long-term insight but I figure I'd react similarly in a hypothetical situation where she were transgender instead of just above average height. Not something I was seeking-out but something I thought was cool and interesting once it was brought to my attention.
For the record, I'd like to see trans-people get more love out there and encourage it. I can't imagine what it's like to get hatred and fear on one side and creepiness coming from the other side with relatively few people willing to treat you "normally". I hope acceptance continues to pick up momentum to the point where these conversations aren't half as awkward to have as they are now.
Wary is one thing, but don't underestimate people.
I would know, I'm the kind of person who dresses up in catsuits and gas masks at parties in order to stimulate that dehumanizing response.
Don't make up a generalizing rule and apply it, thinking it will be bullet proof. Talk to people, listen in return, and hear what they say. And if you decide you dont like what you hear, you're free to move on. Keep an open mind.
it's kinda strange that we can talk about rectal prolapse as a thing of eroticism and not get arrested and sent to Tazmania or some shit
It's weird that people consider that erotic
most other things that I ain't into I can see being erotic
how is your asshole LITERALLY being turned inside out a turn on in ANY way
Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.
Twitter Steam
if a thing exists, someone gets hard/wet from it
it is best not to try and divine the why of this truth
that way lies madness
It can happen from having anal sex. It makes a whole lot more "sense" than most other fetishes since it is directly related to sex unlike the ever-popular foot fetishes and whatnot.
it wasn't a question of solutions
the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on
and that seems wrong
I know how it happens, believe me
I just don't get how it's a turnon
if I was a foot fetishist I probably wouldn't find gross buniony feet sexy
but everyone has their thing
That said I think if you don't know going in whether or not it'd be okay to bring up that option then it isn't going to be.
Why is it wrong to not want people chasing you only for sexual gratification? It's pretty disturbing to me to have someone only want me because I'm trans.
Twitter Steam
Well, I believe it was more said that seeking out a trans person just to have sex with them is sleazy, so, a sleazy site like craigslist is a good place to look.
I think Shorty is talking in general and you are talking in specific.
If other people want to have sex just because someone's trans, and that trans person wants to have sex with them, that's totally fine.
I personally would definitely not want that, at all, so I would not enjoy being chased for that.
Nothing wrong with chasing other people for that, if they want it, just leave me out of it, basically.
:winky:
replace "trans" with any other aspect of your body/character
does this scenario still bother you?
It would bother the shit out of me, personally.
like nobody is saying that slavering wolf-whistle eyes bugging and heart bursting out of their chest over the fact that you're trans is cool
edit: except shorty, I guess?
Yes.
if it is sleazy to seek out trans people to have sex with because that is what turns you on, then it must also be sleazy to seek out any other person with any other specific qualities that turn you on
and that seems pretty fucking judgmental
tumblr | instagram | twitter | steam
somebody is appreciating you for what you've got going on, that is a good thing
I mean, unless they're a creepo but that is the caveat for like, every situation so
uh, no, not really