Being [TRANS] Is Like Working In A Fish Market

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  • Ruby RhodRuby Rhod Multipass!Registered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    Ruby Rhod wrote: »
    Shorty wrote: »
    Ruby Rhod wrote: »
    Shorty wrote: »
    i feel like if your desire to date a transperson stems entirely from how badly you wanna have sex with them because they are a transperson then yeah, that's fuckin sleazy

    what if there's no desire to date

    what if someone just wants to have sex with a transperson and this is made clear from the get-go

    Craigslist or some other sex rendezvous site. But if someone said that to me I would tell them to get lost.

    it wasn't a question of solutions

    the impression that I'm getting from this thread right now and please, correct me if I'm wrong, is that it is considered Not Okay to actively seek out transfolk to have sex with because they turn you on

    and that seems wrong

    Why is it wrong to not want people chasing you only for sexual gratification? It's pretty disturbing to me to have someone only want me because I'm trans.

    replace "trans" with any other aspect of your body/character

    does this scenario still bother you?

    My hair color or body shape is not at all analogous to being trans, and I don't know what to tell you if you don't see that.

    Anyone that seeks me out for sex because I'm trans is absolutely creepy to me and I would want nothing to do with them.

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    I actually just added that edit to trick you for liking my post :V

  • Cilla BlackCilla Black Priscilla!!! Registered User regular
    I think it's probably ok if you're attracted to people whose physical characteristics would generally apply to trans people. It seems less okay if you're attracted to the literal idea of someone being trans. Being attracted to demographics seems way more objectifying than being attracted to characteristics.

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    Ruby Rhod wrote: »
    Anyone that seeks me out for sex because I'm trans is absolutely creepy to me and I would want nothing to do with them.

    yeah, see this I totally get

    most normal people don't want to just be weird sex objects

    I was just getting the impression that like, you wouldn't want to date someone who was interested in you because you were trans

    which is way different than just like, soliciting you

  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    i don't even know what to tell you if you think that "being trans" is in any way equivalent to "has red hair" or "is tall"

    Not for the trans-person.

    If this is a response to me I was talking from my perspective.
    Also understand that I'm tired and might be spouting nonsense.

    I kinda just see it as "you have a physical attribute that is at least somewhat uncommon/unique which is cool but it's not a huge deal".

    Unfortunately each time I think I'm clarifying it just comes out terribly.

    I'm shutting up and going to bed now. I'm really worried I came off badly and made people mad at me though.

  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    TankHammer wrote: »
    i don't even know what to tell you if you think that "being trans" is in any way equivalent to "has red hair" or "is tall"

    Not for the trans-person.

    If this is a response to me I was talking from my perspective.
    Also understand that I'm tired and might be spouting nonsense.

    I kinda just see it as "you have a physical attribute that is at least somewhat uncommon/unique which is cool but it's not a huge deal".

    Unfortunately each time I think I'm clarifying it just comes out terribly.

    I'm shutting up and going to bed now. I'm really worried I came off badly and made people mad at me though.

    Don't sweat it mister, pretty sure no one here thinks ill of you for anything you've said.

  • Ruby RhodRuby Rhod Multipass!Registered User regular
    That's still kinda iffy to me. I wouldn't want someone to date me simply because they find it interesting to date a trans girl. Date me because you find me interesting as a person, and just be ok with the fact I'm trans; not actively seeking me out to date because I am trans.

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Basically, people are weird about sex and stuff.

  • Ruby RhodRuby Rhod Multipass!Registered User regular
    TankHammer wrote: »
    i don't even know what to tell you if you think that "being trans" is in any way equivalent to "has red hair" or "is tall"

    Not for the trans-person.

    If this is a response to me I was talking from my perspective.
    Also understand that I'm tired and might be spouting nonsense.

    I kinda just see it as "you have a physical attribute that is at least somewhat uncommon/unique which is cool but it's not a huge deal".

    Unfortunately each time I think I'm clarifying it just comes out terribly.

    I'm shutting up and going to bed now. I'm really worried I came off badly and made people mad at me though.

    No, you're fine. I already said I got where you were coming from. Shorty seems to be the only one coming at this from a sexual fetishizing view and that it's wrong for me to be upset/disgusted by someone wanting me for sex because I'm a translady.

  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    I would feel awful if someone only dated me for my massive penis

    ..............

  • ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I would feel awful if someone only dated me for my massive penis

    ..............

    Me too!

    We were just talking about that.

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    you can be interested in a person for a reason and not have that be the only component of the relationship

    like, a relationship is basically just piling interests on top of one another

    generally shallow first and then the more important ones go on top

    like a cake that ends in sad songs

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    I would feel awful if someone only dated me for my massive penis

    ..............

    yo lemme get dem digits

  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    I would feel awful if someone only dated me for my massive penis

    ..............

    You know, I really like the way you formulated this post. You seem like a really interesting, bright, person.

    So uh....

    Wanna get coffee sometime?

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
  • ZayZay yes i am zay Registered User regular
    I'll personally only date someone if they have both Life is Beautiful from the Deadly Premonition OST and The Only Thing I Know For Real from the Revengeance OST on their music device of choice

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  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    Shivahn wrote: »
    I would feel awful if someone only dated me for my massive penis

    ..............

    Me too!

    We were just talking about that.

    I was just kidding

    I'd feel awesome

    At least, for a little while

    Temporary ego boosts are fun but they're just that

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    Zay wrote: »
    I'll personally only date someone if they have both Life is Beautiful from the Deadly Premonition OST and The Only Thing I Know For Real from the Revengeance OST on their music device of choice

    zay...

  • ZayZay yes i am zay Registered User regular
    coincidentally I have never dated anyone but,

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  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    Zay wrote: »
    I'll personally only date someone if they have both Life is Beautiful from the Deadly Premonition OST and The Only Thing I Know For Real from the Revengeance OST on their music device of choice

    zay...

    Yep

    You just about covered Zay's potential partners

  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    Ruby Rhod wrote: »
    TankHammer wrote: »
    i don't even know what to tell you if you think that "being trans" is in any way equivalent to "has red hair" or "is tall"

    Not for the trans-person.

    If this is a response to me I was talking from my perspective.
    Also understand that I'm tired and might be spouting nonsense.

    I kinda just see it as "you have a physical attribute that is at least somewhat uncommon/unique which is cool but it's not a huge deal".

    Unfortunately each time I think I'm clarifying it just comes out terribly.

    I'm shutting up and going to bed now. I'm really worried I came off badly and made people mad at me though.

    No, you're fine. I already said I got where you were coming from. Shorty seems to be the only one coming at this from a sexual fetishizing view and that it's wrong for me to be upset/disgusted by someone wanting me for sex because I'm a translady.

    well, no, not you, personally

    the hypothetical I initially suggested was non-specific

    I fully understand that you find the idea creepy, as applied to yourself, and I do not think this is at all unreasonable

    and I'm happy to let it go with that

    it's just, to label a person as creepy because they happen to be turned on by transfolk seems kinda sex-negative to me

  • ZayZay yes i am zay Registered User regular
    Zay wrote: »
    I'll personally only date someone if they have both Life is Beautiful from the Deadly Premonition OST and The Only Thing I Know For Real from the Revengeance OST on their music device of choice

    zay...

    Yep

    You just about covered Zay's potential partners

    it took me a minute to get this but it owned

    sthbuf0g7b7y.png
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    like what I'm saying is that a sexual or romantic preference will most likely not overrule one being appreciated for ones own self or being treated like a human being

    I just can't get my fingers to do word thoughts good

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Guys this is not related to transpeople or trans issues

    but I thought this was pretty funny:
    I am looking for someone to rent the spare bedroom in my spacious 2-bedroom apartment on the picturesque and desirable Upper West Side. You must read carefully, however, as this situation is not suitable for all.

    The rent is $1 per month, utilities included, as long as you bake me fifty (50) tasty cookies every day by 6 p.m. If you have not completed this task by 6 p.m., I will pour vinegar on all your belongings, throw them into the street, and have the locks changed. No exceptions and no excuses. Hell or high water, those cookies better be done and yummy.

    Cookies are always cookies and never biscuits. I do not eat “biscuits”.

    I will decide the specific type of cookie the day before and will submit my preference in writing by 9 p.m. of that day. You are responsible for the recipe and ALL the ingredients (at your expense, of course). The kitchen is large and well equipped with cookie sheets, rolling pins, mixing bowls, etc. You may NOT hum or sing as you prepare the cookies. You may, however, recite song lyrics in a normal speaking voice.

    Forbidden ingredients include anise, marjoram, allspice, caraway, and oats. I will nevertheless request oatmeal cookies from time to time and you must find a way to make them without oats. Good luck with that. The worst ingredient of all, though, is NUTMEG. If even one speck of nutmeg, even the tracest amount of the stuff, is discovered in my home, I will pour vinegar on your belongings and chuck them in the street. You may assume the locks will be changed. You may use cinnamon, cloves, and raisins, though I am rather indifferent to these and will likely not be impressed. Chocolate is encouraged, as is vanilla bean extract.

    You will be given three cookie cutters: a crescent moon, a star, and a doggie in profile. All cookies must be in one of those three shapes. The doggies must be given names and all the names must be different and cute. Cuteness is my call, not yours. For example, “Smuggins” is cute but “Lionel” is not.

    The cookies must be artfully arranged on a lace cloth on a silver platter and garnished. Permissible garnishes include jellied fruits and candied flowers. Sugared figs are under review, but don’t get your hopes up.

    Your room contains a twin bed, a dresser, a desk w/chair, and a TV with cable access. The TV is tuned permanently to the Food Network. You may watch only shows featuring cookies and cookie by-products.

    If you are interested in this arrangement, please submit the following:

    1) Your favorite cookie recipe
    2) A picture of tasty cookies
    3) A short original poem about cookies

    Thank you.

    86 at B’way google map yahoo map
    * it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited April 2013
    hi zay how are you I haven't talked to you since tordays

    are you still
    terrible

    edit: I could probably room with that person I bet

    Depressperado on
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited April 2013
    ""biscuits""

    like this person does not believe they exist

    what are these things you call "biscuits"

    Shorty on
  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    I only have The Only Thing I Know For Real but can we still see a movie or something

    PNk1Ml4.png
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Oh my god oh my god
    Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood.

    Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

    THIS IS NOT A SEX THING.

    Gonna need some basic things/skills, I don't want to be slowed down by fools:

    - must be in reasonable shape, if you get winded walking then stay home
    - Ed Hardy camping gear, it's really good gear and it's awesome
    - desire to be a man among men
    - not afraid to wield a blade
    - crystal, I'm not sharing mine
    - must be able to make a fire
    - gloves
    - a knowledge of native vegetation (knowledge of psychotropic fungus a plus)
    - knowledge of modern music
    - protective/splash resistant eye wear
    - 5 - 10 of those clip things that rock climbers use


    We are gonna need a mobile music device, ipod or something. I'm bringing the music for the firequests and visionquests, Nickleback's The Long Road. I only have it on CD, so I'll have my discman as a last resort, an ipod would be nicer. Just sayin'.


    Dont' want to see"

    - bad attitudes
    - gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY.
    - cock rings, can't keep it up w/o help, you aren't gonna make it on this quest
    - firearms, there's gonna be enough guns going off and spent shells to pick up
    - the nerds/dorks/lames/and anyone less than 100% into manhood.

    If you are serious, then I promise you this will be the trip of your life. It will change the way you think. I'm serious, and I AM NOT GAY. To see a group of bros being men, a JO circle by a camp fire. The charge/energy in the air. Crystals get jacked, no lie. You will slip into a different frame of mind, you will feel electric.

    Last outing, we had a group that was so charged we attracted bears. It was no deal, nature knew man was in the forest, the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears. I saw it, I was there.

    100% SERIOUS, NO FAKERS

  • ZayZay yes i am zay Registered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    I only have The Only Thing I Know For Real but can we still see a movie or something

    yes BUT only because I work at the theater so movies are free for me

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  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    j/o bros

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    j/o bros

    BUT IT'S NOT GAY

    I just want to jerk it with a bunch of dudes around a campfire! How is that gay?

  • nukanuka What are circles? Registered User regular
    So, Baltimore is using a gender neutral slang term.

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/codeswitch/2013/04/25/178788893/yo-said-what

    DS: 2667 5365 3193 | 2DS: 2852-8590-3716
  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    Zay wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    I only have The Only Thing I Know For Real but can we still see a movie or something

    yes BUT only because I work at the theater so movies are free for me

    *exaggerated yawn motion as I put my arm around Zay's shoulder*

    PNk1Ml4.png
  • Cilla BlackCilla Black Priscilla!!! Registered User regular
    Ruby Rhod wrote: »
    That's still kinda iffy to me. I wouldn't want someone to date me simply because they find it interesting to date a trans girl. Date me because you find me interesting as a person, and just be ok with the fact I'm trans; not actively seeking me out to date because I am trans.

    My biggest problem, and please forgive me if I'm being stupid here, with this is physical attraction is what in many ways defines our relationships with other people. You can't help what you're attracted to, it's just what happens.

    Obviously if you're interested in romantic relationships then you want to build a foundation out of way more than anything purely physical, but that relationship has to start somewhere. And in quite a lot of situations it starts with "hey I think that person over there looks pretty good. I'm going to ask them out!"

    I don't really see the problem with that. I don't really even see a problem with it never going beyond the physical if both parties have consent. They're probably not going to have a very long-lasting relationship if it doesn't, but who says they even want one or need to have one?

  • ZayZay yes i am zay Registered User regular
    hi zay how are you I haven't talked to you since tordays

    are you still
    terrible

    edit: I could probably room with that person I bet

    allow me to answer this with the only thing I know for real

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=n3QmHNd0HWo

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  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    Huh, are cock rings to help you keep it up?

    I thought they were like to delay orgasm or something?

    Learn something new everyday, I guess.

  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    nuka wrote: »
    So, Baltimore is using a gender neutral slang term.

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/codeswitch/2013/04/25/178788893/yo-said-what

    I've been trying to use "ze" when appropriate

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Zay wrote: »
    hi zay how are you I haven't talked to you since tordays

    are you still
    terrible

    edit: I could probably room with that person I bet

    allow me to answer this with the only thing I know for real

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=n3QmHNd0HWo

    that actually answered the question quite succinctly, thanks dude

    Depressperado on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Oh my god crystals are an actual thing that you 'charge' by jerking it

    man I would have a lifetime supply of charged crystals at this point, I tell you what
    man I really hope Anya never finds this forum

  • ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Huh, are cock rings to help you keep it up?

    I thought they were like to delay orgasm or something?

    Learn something new everyday, I guess.

    I'm pretty sure anything constricting is going to keep it up.

    The arterial pressure in is going to be greater than the venous pressure out, so more's gonna go in than out if there is any sort of restriction.

    Not that I have researched this or anything.

This discussion has been closed.