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My Web Comic (Proberz)

seegruseegru Master of NoneSt. PaulRegistered User regular
edited June 2013 in Artist's Corner
Howdy!

I've been working on my web comic (on and off) for a while now and have recently had a creative explosion and have been posting new strips (2 per week).
Currently in a "Reality Show" storyline and have included our favorite "Strip Search" show. Check it out. Would love to hear what y'all think.


Thanks!
Gru

Iruka on

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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    Hey seegru!

    Please check out our rules. This board is not for self promotion, The AC is specifically for people seeking critiques. Please use the img tags and post a few of your strips instead of linking to your site. If you have some areas in which youd like to improve, long term goals, or other things that would help us critique your work, please include that in the post!

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    gotcha.... sorry.

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    Some examples of my strip, "Proberz". I find myself more drawn to black and white art as opposed to fully colored strips. What are people's thoughts on to color or not to color?
    Maybe cause I'm a little older, I find nostalgia in the black and white strip (I like to add just a splash of color to mine). I personally think it is more graphically pleasing. Thoughts and critiques are very much welcome!

    [img][/img]yBymXUS.jpg
    [img][/img]FkKgIXN.jpg
    pBaVSHV.jpg

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    MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    This is pretty good!

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    Thanks MT! Just an FYI,.... I dig toast!

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    NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    HA HA i love your style! can you post some of your sketches?

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    [img][/img]qePZqGR.jpg

    Thanks NakedZerling, or do I just call you Naked? I'm a big fan of sketchwork too. I love seeing the process. I just recently started doing the strips all digitally (Manga Studio EX) when I said I would never forego pen and paper. It's taken a little while to get comfortable with it, but I'm now really digging it now!

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    franciumfrancium Registered User regular
    "the class of reality television" is a confusing sentence. could be "class A reality television!" or something similar that flows a little better. it currently reads like a bad translation. art is fabulous. you write good jokes. hope you put something up in the AC challenge thread :)

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    NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    You can call me naked, or zerg, or zergling..you can call me anything. Just don't call me late to dinner..ha hahah aha ah bawhahahaha!!!
    If you have a sketchbook, you should totally scan/picture of the pages.

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    francium wrote: »
    "the class of reality television" is a confusing sentence. could be "class A reality television!" or something similar that flows a little better. it currently reads like a bad translation.

    A good point, but a problem is I like to CAP the text, so it would look like "CLASS A REALITY TELEVISION," which seems more confusing. I'll have to think how to maybe re-phrase this. Thanks for the comments. I'll take a look the AC Challenge thread!

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    [img][/img]t2ULGZ9.jpg

    Here's how the "Survivor" strip turned out (sans possible re-wording)...

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    zollmaniaczollmaniac Registered User regular
    edited June 2013
    "High class reality television!" maybe?

    Your character styles have a very 'Family Guy'/'American Dad' quality to them. I like your line work and I think your characters are great. However, I'd like to see more work being put into the backgrounds. Not to the point of distraction, but right now they look neglected or rushed to me.

    zollmaniac on
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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    zollmaniac wrote: »

    However, I'd like to see more work being put into the backgrounds. Not to the point of distraction, but right now they look neglected or rushed to me.

    Backgrounds are my least favorite thing to work on and an admitted weakness. I tend to do more detailed backgrounds when I do the colored "Sunday" longer strips. My thought process was to have simplified backgrounds of a faded gray color to make the characters pop more (ie,... avoid having to fight creating a background I like). But criticism duly noted.

    I thought of this while on the way to the gym: "CLASS-A" REALITY TELEVISION
    Quotes and a hyphen..... or is that still confusing?

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    zollmaniac wrote: »

    Your character styles have a very 'Family Guy'/'American Dad' quality to them.

    [img][/img]nJWD6MM.jpg

    I actually did a storyboard test with Family Guy (didn't get the one opening) but have stayed friendly with the Fuzzy Door crew. My producer contact over there told me he reads the "Proberz" strip pretty regularly, which is cool.

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    Red RaevynRed Raevyn because I only take Bubble Baths Registered User regular
    Neat! "The class act of reality television" might work with the caps font, too.

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    Red Raevyn wrote: »
    Neat! "The class act of reality television" might work with the caps font, too.

    I like that. This is the strip I'm posting tomorrow and I think that's what I'm gonna go with. Cheers!

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    [img][/img]qv3pD0e.jpg

    Another example of limited color on the characters to make them pop. Granted, there is a LOT more color than previous strips. To explain just a bit, the characters turned their ship to stealth mode and lost the remote control and have been flying around in thin air when they accidentally get shot into warp space. Very happy with how the "guest star" turned out.

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    PifmanPifman Registered User regular
    Your line work is very clean. I'm jealous. Keep posting stuff man.

    PA-Signature.gif
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    m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    Generally I think you should do full colour, but if you insist on having limited colour usage I'd go for something like your first strip, where it's only a smaller element that's coloured. In this one the characters just seem incredibly out of place when there's so much colour around them, and yet their shadows are still grey.

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    [img][/img]1WgOYwH.jpg

    I probably should have posted the strip leading into the "Tardis" one first. It's less jarring and more obviously a device to show a jump into warp space as opposed to lazy coloring. Thanks Pifman,... I've been enjoying "Late Night Cereal" as well! Cheers!

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    [img][/img]VjfPWCR.jpg

    ... And here's an old strip to give some idea as to what their ship looks like "un-cloaked"....

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    MabelmaMabelma Registered User regular
    seegru wrote: »
    [img][/img]1WgOYwH.jpg

    I probably should have posted the strip leading into the "Tardis" one first. It's less jarring and more obviously a device to show a jump into warp space as opposed to lazy coloring. Thanks Pifman,... I've been enjoying "Late Night Cereal" as well! Cheers!

    Really digging this comic, the line work is quite nice, and the jokes are funny. Plus the dab of color seems to work out very well. By the way, the reason I quoted that comic, is because it has a typo on the first panel, it says "seltbelt" instead of "seatbelt"

    Have some time, check out my blog
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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    Mabelma wrote: »
    By the way, the reason I quoted that comic, is because it has a typo on the first panel, it says "seltbelt" instead of "seatbelt"

    DOH! Good thing I haven't posted this strip yet. Thanks for the catch. Damn you stubby fingers.....

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    MabelmaMabelma Registered User regular
    Jajaja, no problem, glad I could be of help :) can't wait to read some more.

    Have some time, check out my blog
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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    [img][/img]SVJ29PR.jpg

    I'm really jumping all over the place with the strips, but I just finished this one and am really happy with how it turned out. Critiques, as always, are welcome. Happy Thursday!

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    MabelmaMabelma Registered User regular
    Amazing art as always but to tell you the truth I personally don't think it's very funny, I like the idea but the delivery seems very weak. If you don't mind I went ahead and re-wrote it in a way that I feel is a little stronger, I am by no means an expert, heck I'm an awful writer but I think that this way the joke is a little stronger.
    Panel 1:
    I've never seen a venusian. what do they look like?
    I've only seen pictures of them.

    Panel 2:
    Here... Take A Gander at our taget!

    Panel 3:
    Is the plural of anus, "anuses" or "ani"cause I'm clenching all three of mine right now.

    Hopefully I didn't go and ruin the joke, but it's a possibility you could explore in terms of delivery, I hope it's helpful in some way.

    Have some time, check out my blog
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    NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    Man..i love this. Seriously. Good stuff. I really like that youre experimenting with different stlyes. color, gray scale, B+W, min color..I Kinda like that it ISN'T one style.

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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    Mabelma wrote: »
    Amazing art as always but to tell you the truth I personally don't think it's very funny, I like the idea but the delivery seems very weak. If you don't mind I went ahead and re-wrote it in a way that I feel is a little stronger, I am by no means an expert, heck I'm an awful writer but I think that this way the joke is a little stronger.
    Panel 1:
    I've never seen a venusian. what do they look like?
    I've only seen pictures of them.

    Panel 2:
    Here... Take A Gander at our taget!

    Panel 3:
    Is the plural of anus, "anuses" or "ani"cause I'm clenching all three of mine right now.

    Hopefully I didn't go and ruin the joke, but it's a possibility you could explore in terms of delivery, I hope it's helpful in some way.

    I'm not sure if I like that better or not. Originally I ended on Seven (the taller alien's) line, but then added Five's question of the plural of "anus" as a second beat. Better without it?

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    MabelmaMabelma Registered User regular
    I think it's better without it really.

    Have some time, check out my blog
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    seegruseegru Master of None St. PaulRegistered User regular
    Work in Progress
    [img][/img]LjZkTGf.jpg

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