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It's impossible for me to do a drivers exam without screwing up
Aldo
Hippo HoorayRegistered User regular
Hippo HoorayRegistered User regular
I'll try to word this as clearly as possible, but I fear it will be a clusterfuck, so please bear with me.
I'm from the Netherlands, over here, drivers exams are much harder than in the USA, please keep this in mind before you judge me.
Yesterday, I had a drivers exam and I failed it, this was the fifth time this happened. Now, you must know that during my lessons I am a pretty decent driver, I look far ahead, anticipate on mistakes of others and quickly react on whatever happens. However, the moment I step in the car with my exam-guy, I change. I am nervous, which is to be expected (if only because a exam costs me fucking 200€), and I become very ... I don't know the word for this... stupid.
I hardly look ahead, if someone else makes a mistake, I am baffled and when the exam-guy says which way to go, I will not try to get in the correct lane right away, but just continue driving for a while. The most annoying part of it is that I hardly notice I am doing this, it's as if my body is taken over by a (by lack of better words) noob.
I have had the same problem in high school, whenever I'd get bullied (like, every day for over a year, but that's besides the point) I would lock down and act stupid, sometimes by crying, other times by saying the most retarded things (hint, when someone steals your shit don't ask them to return it to you when they've stopped having fun with it, it's stupid). Eventually, I got over that by getting some real friends, it gave me the confidence to stay above the situation and deal with it. You could say that I stopped feeling fear for some retard throwing my pencils across the hallway.
However, this drivers exam is a whole other pack of beans, there isn't anyone "out to get me" and usually the exam-guys are kind people who feel my pain. My brains however, appear to disagree and lock themselves down the moment I am doing an exam.
My father has the same problem, it took him seven times to get his license, he said he eventually forgot he was doing an exam and then he just did it. I can't just wait for this to happen.
I have tried a few things:
I have thought of a few things I simply can't do:
So I am flat out of ideas and no one in my direct environment can help, they are trying to think how they handled with stress and they realise that they never really had it as bad as me.
H/A, please help me, I want this goddamned license and I don't know how.
tl;dr: I am too stressed for drivers exams and turn into a road hazard.
I'm from the Netherlands, over here, drivers exams are much harder than in the USA, please keep this in mind before you judge me.
Yesterday, I had a drivers exam and I failed it, this was the fifth time this happened. Now, you must know that during my lessons I am a pretty decent driver, I look far ahead, anticipate on mistakes of others and quickly react on whatever happens. However, the moment I step in the car with my exam-guy, I change. I am nervous, which is to be expected (if only because a exam costs me fucking 200€), and I become very ... I don't know the word for this... stupid.
I hardly look ahead, if someone else makes a mistake, I am baffled and when the exam-guy says which way to go, I will not try to get in the correct lane right away, but just continue driving for a while. The most annoying part of it is that I hardly notice I am doing this, it's as if my body is taken over by a (by lack of better words) noob.
I have had the same problem in high school, whenever I'd get bullied (like, every day for over a year, but that's besides the point) I would lock down and act stupid, sometimes by crying, other times by saying the most retarded things (hint, when someone steals your shit don't ask them to return it to you when they've stopped having fun with it, it's stupid). Eventually, I got over that by getting some real friends, it gave me the confidence to stay above the situation and deal with it. You could say that I stopped feeling fear for some retard throwing my pencils across the hallway.
However, this drivers exam is a whole other pack of beans, there isn't anyone "out to get me" and usually the exam-guys are kind people who feel my pain. My brains however, appear to disagree and lock themselves down the moment I am doing an exam.
My father has the same problem, it took him seven times to get his license, he said he eventually forgot he was doing an exam and then he just did it. I can't just wait for this to happen.
I have tried a few things:
- One time I tried to imagine I was doing an exam when I was having a lesson. My imagination is pretty good, if I may say so myself, I had it all worked out, my instructor was wearing a facemask like they have in Mission:Impossible and he was secretly an exam-guy. I had myself fooled for exactly 5 seconds, so that didn't work.
- Recently, I've worked a lot under stress, the last few months I've spent about 40 hours per week on college-work, sometimes working for 10 hours a day. Apparently, I can deal with this sort of stress when I'm in my chair with MSN ready and Penny-Arcade close to hand, it made it possible for me to escape the stress for a few minutes or to think of something else for a while. So this doesn't work for a drivers exam, where you have to pay attention to the traffic and the voice of the exam-guy all the time. No time to think of happy thoughts.
I have thought of a few things I simply can't do:
- Martial Arts, I have done judo for a while, but I had to quit, due to feeling too fucked up, my knees still hurt every now and then.
- Yoga, takes too long to get to a level that it has some use in daily situations.
So I am flat out of ideas and no one in my direct environment can help, they are trying to think how they handled with stress and they realise that they never really had it as bad as me.
H/A, please help me, I want this goddamned license and I don't know how.
tl;dr: I am too stressed for drivers exams and turn into a road hazard.
Aldo on
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Posts
First, don't turn this into a self esteem issue. It's easy to think "I'm pathetic, I'm wrong, this is just a symptom of my utter inadequacy as a human being" etc. Been there, done that. It's much more difficult (and cooler) to forget all that and look at this task dispassionately in terms of your aims and problems.
Practice is the key. You say you're ok in normal driving - do you do mock tests? You don't even need an instructor for this. Here the local driving test routes are available over the internet. Have a look. If yours are, then drag a parent out and practice them over and over again. If not, ask around and see what some common routes are. If all else fails, make your own.
Make a list of everything thay're looking for and set yourself rigid routines. It's stupid for normal driving, but you're less likely to miss things when you're nervous if it's become ingrained habit.
As well as making you a better driver (and much better at these particular routes) this'd familiarise the situation and (touch wood) make you less nervous in a test.
Don't worry. You'll pass eventually, whatever happens. Good luck.
I got past this eventually, as I got older, but just pretending he wasn't in the car. I could still hear what he said, I'd still do things right, but I wouldn't get all locked up and nervous when he was in the car with me.
You might also try talking to the examiner beforehand, explain your difficulties, and maybe get them to set up a route for you, so they don't have to tell you where to go. Then maybe it would be easier to pretend they aren't in the car.
I was similarly terrified for a while... I remember when I took my G2 (second level of our graduated license system)... my instructor came that morning to give me some last minute lessons and direct me to the exam centre. When I stepped into the car I found a penny on the ground "Oh, you're lucky today!" she exclaimed. I just stared at her for like five seconds like a deer in headlights, thinking "Man, you totally planted that thing."
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I should have mentioned that.
Also: I drive in Utrecht, look it up on Google Earth, lots of small streets, twists and turns.
I don't know how I can convince my instructor to let someone else sit on his spot, he sits there to make sure no one drives into anyone, I think he can get in trouble with the insurance if he lets anyone other than an instructor or examiner sit there. :?
That's how I learned to drive. Ya know, that and Cruisin' Exotica.
Cruisin'...yeah yeeeeah....exoticaaa.:whistle:
I'm still open to suggestions.
Also, I missed this one earlier, roastghost, yeah, it would be stupid to talk myself down like that, I'll watch for these negative thoughts.
Also, talk to your instructor about this problem. If they're saying "Dude you kick ass, why do you keep failing?" they might have some suggestions. If they can see that you're overthinking, or acting nervous with them, (even though you don't feel that way) it'll show that it's not *just* with the examiner, but driving in general that's messing you up.
Take your time, don't rush into the next test.
In Virginia, I didn't have to take a "Driving test" so to speak. This was because I paid for a week of driver training, where you get to drive around in a shitty car for a few hours a day with a certified instructor, who has a brake pedal of his very own. The course was acceptable as a substitute for the road test (assuming you passed, of course).
While I doubt you have the same option, a type of driving school with actual behind- the- wheel experience might help you become more comfortable behind the wheel, so that you can perform normally with Mr. Instructor watching over you.
This is pretty much what he's saying all the time. :oops:
I've been driving for over a year now, I first had a shitty instructor so I'm not counting those lessons. I have more experience than some of my friends who already have their license. (Which is part of why I'm so depressed right now.
t A penguin: there's 2 weeks courses that make you drive every day and that end with an exam, but the exam is still with an examiner and the whole thing. :?
also see if you can get a map and a test schedule/route. you spend enough time driving the test in practice, you can do it for real in your sleep.
Also the examiners decide on what route to take on the fly, there isn't really a way to "cheat" on this. ^^
It's good advice, if you start to connect a building with bad thoughts, you are better off not doing anything important in there.
and then he'd run into a tree.