Aw, son of a [Cards Against Humanity] (On break for a while, but reserves welcome)

Man in the Mists

I think that went right over the heads of @Initiatefailure‌ and @Extreaminatus‌.

Man in the Mists

*wink wink nudge nudge*

I like lockjaw on third base, if ya know what I mean. (Discrider)
I like firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog on the primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now, if ya know what I mean. (Initiatefailure)
I like pistol-whipping a hostage on a sad fat dragon with no friends, if ya know what I mean. (Dr. Flamingo) (*)
I like ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart on spring break!, if ya know what I mean. (Extreaminatus)
I like smallpox blankets on spectacular abs, if ya know what I mean. (Axman13)
I like getting into a situation with an owlbear on Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament, if ya know what I mean. (Boozer)

@Iongantas, what do you mean?

Gizzy

Owlbear

Iongantas

There were several good answers here, but pistol whipping a hostage on a sad fat dragon with no friends has just the right amount, know what I mean?

discrider

No, actually.

Man in the Mists

Maybe if Dr. Flamingo pistol-whipped the hostage a little less harshly, they'd have a happy "fat dragon".

Round 20: Dr Flamingo is judging

After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _______ to the people of Haiti.

Please PM your answers while Dr. Flamingo asks the Haitians what is was like having their world rocked.

Man in the Mists

Hopefully they won't have to lick salty surprises off of Sean Penn's abs this time.

After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought an M. Night Shyamalan plot twist to the people of Haiti. (Axman13)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought the Rapture to the people of Haiti. (Discrider)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought attitude to the people of Haiti. (Initiatefailure)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought the penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On" to the people of Haiti. (Iongantas)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought Fancy Feast to the people of Haiti. (Boozer) (*)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought the Google to the people of Haiti. (Extreaminatus)

@Dr. Flamingo, how will Sean Penn hit the Haitians like an aftershock?

Dr. Flamingo

I still remember the time Sean Penn brought Fancy Feast to the people of Haiti, where he learned it was neither Fancy nor a Feast.

discrider

I would've asked the Haitians whether that also went over their heads, but they all started screaming and running for the hills before I got an answer.

Man in the Mists

That's because they heard Boozer say that there are old people in America who would shank them for a can of this stuff.

Round 21: Boozer is judging

Why do I hurt all over?

Please PM your answers while Boozer tries to find all the walker marks.

initiatefailure

The last time my friends played Sean penn brought Sean penn to the people of Haiti.

discrider

How frequently do the blank cards get dropped into the game?
I just don't believe I've seen one this game yet.

Man in the Mists

I think there's 32 blanks in about 900 cards.

Man in the Mists

Poor @Initiatefailure‌ must hurt too much to give an answer.

initiatefailure

On the record it was a wedding open bar

Man in the Mists

Good news is, I found a recent video that might explain things. Bad news is, I found it on XTube.

Why do I hurt all over? Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of Rupees (Iongantas)
Why do I hurt all over? Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep (Dr. Flamingo) (*)
Why do I hurt all over? Racism (Discrider)
Why do I hurt all over? Hulk Hogan (Extreaminatus)
Why do I hurt all over? Going around punching people (Axman13)
Why do I hurt all over? Whining like a little bitch (Initiatefailure)

@Boozer, what is the source of all that ails you?

Boozer

Money can't buy happiness, but ore and sheep certainly can.

Man in the Mists

The exchange would've gone smoothly, but Dr. Flamingo decided to let the steel wool sheep join in on the fun. Lacerations everywhere.

Round 22: Dr. Flamingo is judging

During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of _______.

Please PM while Dr. Flamingo crawls desperately away from the winged salt shakers.

Man in the Mists

Wait, why are the salt shakers dumping out fleas?

During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of hipsters. (Initiatefailure)
During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of my dad's dumb fucking face. (Extreaminatus) (*)
During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of unfathomable stupidity. (Boozer)
During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of former President George W. Bush. (Axman13)
During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of Nicolas Cage. (Discrider)
During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of a big black dick. (Iongantas)

@Dr. Flamingo, how was Kid Dali mindfucking the masses?

Dr. Flamingo

Oh yeah, tons of paintings of my dad's dumb fucking face. Which would be hilarious if it weren't for my family resemblance.

Man in the Mists

Look on the bright side, Extreaminatus. I'm sure Dali had fun with those weird expressions your dad makes.
...What do you mean, that's his normal face?

Round 23: Extreaminatus is judging

Lifetime presents _______, the story of _______.

Please PM your answers while Extreaminatus pitches the idea of a movie where the protagonist changes their face to avoid looking like their parent.

Man in the Mists

I guess Lifetime isn't part of the cable package for @Iongantas.

Man in the Mists

I don't envy Extreaminatus this round.

Lifetime presents The Gulags, the story of all my friends dying. (Iongantas)
Lifetime presents Screaming Like a Maniac, the story of Cards Against Humanity. (Dr. Flamingo)
Lifetime presents Jizz, the story of natural male enhancement. (Axman13)
Lifetime presents Reverse Cowgirl, the story of whatever a McRib is made of. (Discrider)
Lifetime presents Elf Cum, the story of a botched circumcision. (Initiatefailure)
Lifetime presents Double Penetration, the story of a dance move that's just sex. (Boozer) (*)

@Extreaminatus, what will women be watching?

Extreaminatus

Well, I think the McRib and Reverse Cowgirl should have been reversed, which would have put it in first place.

However, since high school, I had always wondered why dancing had mimicked sex so closely.

It was nice that someone at Lifetime had the same thought and gave the greenlight to:
Double Penetration, the story of a dance move that's just sex

Man in the Mists

I'm sure Boozer had a lot of fun "doing research"

Round 24: Boozer is judging

Adventure. Romance. _______. From Paramount Pictures, "_______."

Please PM your answers, and bear in mind that the next black card is blank.

discrider

But it was a story of how we take Cowgirls and turn them into McRibs, and not how we give McRibs to people and turn them into Cowgirls.

Extreaminatus

Oh. I was thinking that if it were reversed, it would be about how doing the nasty is how McRibs are actually made.

axman13

And to think. The pair I played last round would have worked so well this round.
God damn it all.

Man in the Mists

I wonder if Lifetime will show the movie once it's out of theaters.

Adventure. Romance. Unquestioning obedience. From Paramount Pictures, "Stalin". (Discrider)
Adventure. Romance. Sexting. From Paramount Pictures, "The Ubermensch". (Iongantas)
Adventure. Romance. Revenge fucking. From Paramount Pictures, "Mr. Clean, right behind you". (Extreaminatus) (*)
Adventure. Romance. BATMAN!!! From Paramount Pictures, "The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.". (Initiatefailure)
Adventure. Romance. One Ring to rule them all. From Paramount Pictures, "The hardworking Mexican". (Axman13)
Adventure. Romance. A really cool hat. From Paramount Pictures, "Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa". (Dr. Flamingo)

@Boozer, who just earned themselves a blank check card?

Boozer

If only Mr Clean's magic eraser could erase the pain in my... heart.

Man in the Mists

Don't turn around, @Extreaminatus. Just take a deep breath, try to relax, and think about the next question you want for the next round.

Elvenshae

Wow.

slowclap.gif

Excellent round.

Man in the Mists

Round 25: Extreaminatus is judging

Say it ain't so, Doc! Was it because of my _______ with _______?

Please PM your answers while Extreaminatus proceeds to give their insurance company a new ulcer.

initiatefailure

oh god damn it I read that wrong. Well then, mine will be a weird read.

also fun fact, I don't think any CaH cards work with that tense usage. maybe with a -ed at the end of the first blank

Man in the Mists

Not too late to change your answer.

MrTLicious

initiatefailure wrote: »

also fun fact, I don't think any CaH cards work with that tense usage. maybe with a -ed at the end of the first blank

Just need (almost) any verb/noun homonym. Granted, there aren't many, but at least "Silence" would fit, off the top of my head.

Man in the Mists

The question has been changed slightly. If anyone wants to change their answer, I have no objections.

Man in the Mists

"More importantly, will it get me out of a draft?"

Say it ain't so, Doc! Was it because of my praying the gay away with a disappointing birthday party? (Axman13)
Say it ain't so, Doc! Was it because of my synergistic management solutions with a beached whale? (Initiatefailure)
Say it ain't so, Doc! Was it because of my dental dams with the Klobb? (Discrider)
Say it ain't so, Doc! Was it because of my being awesome at sex with a gassy antelope? (Iongantas) (*)
Say it ain't so, Doc! Was it because of my putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR with putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR? (Dr. Flamingo)
Say it ain't so, Doc! Was it because of my crystal meth with weapons-grade plutonium? (Boozer)

Dr. @Extreaminatus, why is the winner strapped to a gurney?

axman13

*sigh*
You think you have it, then you see everyone else.
You wonder if you made the right choice.

Man in the Mists

They've come to take him away, ha ha. They've come to take him away ha ha ho ho hee hee...

While Extreaminatus is busy "hugging himself" we'll have an audience vote. Please choose your favorite answer in green.