HeadCreepsNOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING!Registered Userregular
Last night I had a dream I had to wash a goat that I think belonged to my brother.
So I put the goat in an old claw-foot bathtub and filled it with water and dish detergent, and threw some of my clothes in there too because the goat had gotten this black stuff all over them.
Then I got the achievement "First Time Washing a Goat"
+8
MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
Last night I had a dream that I put a bunch of nails in my mouth while I was riding in a box car and then the train lurched and I fell and the nails embedded themselves in the back/roof of my mouth and I had to pull them all out and I looked at my mouth in the mirror and there was a giant gaping wound in there and aaaaaaaaAaAAAAAAAAAAAAA
One of my more fun dreams saw me giving a friend of mine a piggyback ride through an office building, except it was kind of selectively lit and twisty and badly designed, so I had to pull some sweet ninja wall jump moves to get up a few floors. Then I had to Mario jump onto some scientists/businessmen's heads to cross a strange gap that stopped in front of an elevator.
Pushed the button and the doors opened to reveal three guys just standing there hip-thrusting in separate directions (one of them was upside down and this matters because) yelling "BANG! BANG! BANG!"
I woke up giggling like a lunatic and I still don't know what the fuck that was all about at all.
There was a big jumble of repeated events, I was going through the exact same thing over and over, and then the dream came into focus, and I was doing some illegal artifact dealing to a couple of people from the forum, including @Usagi
I knew exactly what I was looking for pot-hunting with them, exactly where to find it. I also knew it was a counterfeit antiquity that I had planted there myself, but that the counterfeit would be undetectable and still make Usagi et al. super rich.
We drove back to their place, and I thought something seemed slightly different, and I was overcome with both sadness and a desire to tell them I had gone through all this before. After some awkward conversation where I could tell they were wondering why this antiquities dealer was still hanging out and trying to talk to them, Usagi ended up taking me out to a bar.
I kept trying to broach the subject of the day's repeating events, but just despaired every time I got close. She then showed me a music video our of the blue, animated by Boulet.
"Well, that was a little different at least," I remarked, glumly.
There was an awkward pause, while she nodded her agreement.
"Should I replay it?" she asked, "To see if it changed again, yet?" I was shocked, and she said, "Of course I know. You made sure I was part of it. How did it go this time? You had a plan all written out this go."
I started crying and said, "I can't remember the fine details anymore. I just remember how happy I was. I have gone back and relived it so many times and I can't get back there. I can't even bring myself to meet her for the first time anymore."
"Well yeah. Why'd you wanna change it, anyway? That house wasn't so bad."
"I know but now it's all ruined and I just want to be with her again."
"Well that's easy."
And then I woke up. I had to turn over to make sure my girlfriend was still there. I smelled her armpit to make sure she was real. God.
Last night I had a dream that I put a bunch of nails in my mouth while I was riding in a box car and then the train lurched and I fell and the nails embedded themselves in the back/roof of my mouth and I had to pull them all out and I looked at my mouth in the mirror and there was a giant gaping wound in there and aaaaaaaaAaAAAAAAAAAAAAA
One of my more fun dreams saw me giving a friend of mine a piggyback ride through an office building, except it was kind of selectively lit and twisty and badly designed, so I had to pull some sweet ninja wall jump moves to get up a few floors. Then I had to Mario jump onto some scientists/businessmen's heads to cross a strange gap that stopped in front of an elevator.
Pushed the button and the doors opened to reveal three guys just standing there hip-thrusting in separate directions (one of them was upside down and this matters because) yelling "BANG! BANG! BANG!"
I woke up giggling like a lunatic and I still don't know what the fuck that was all about at all.
I was in the hospital last night because I had a bad fever and it wasn't going down at all but climbing rapidly. The doctor looked fairly young but his intern looked even younger and I was right to be afraid: their diagnosis was 'chicken pops.'
"Don't you mean chicken pox?"
"No, it's much worse. But don't worry, it's easily cured with the surgical removal of your left lung and right testicle."
"How ... what?!?"
"And we've got the finest surgeon in the world, Doctor @Moriveth who will be remote controlling a robot arm from Switzerland via a video game called Surgeon Simulator 2014. Even better, we're pretty sure he's mostly sober!"
I was in the hospital last night because I had a bad fever and it wasn't going down at all but climbing rapidly. The doctor looked fairly young but his intern looked even younger and I was right to be afraid: their diagnosis was 'chicken pops.'
"Don't you mean chicken pox?"
"No, it's much worse. But don't worry, it's easily cured with the surgical removal of your left lung and right testicle."
"How ... what?!?"
"And we've got the finest surgeon in the world, Doctor @Moriveth who will be remote controlling a robot arm from Switzerland via a video game called Surgeon Simulator 2014. Even better, we're pretty sure he's mostly sober!"
And that's when I woke up drenched in sweat.
STAY AWAY FROM MY NUTS, MORI!!!
You know how I mentioned I once dreamed an episode of Batman:TAS?
I was in the hospital last night because I had a bad fever and it wasn't going down at all but climbing rapidly. The doctor looked fairly young but his intern looked even younger and I was right to be afraid: their diagnosis was 'chicken pops.'
"Don't you mean chicken pox?"
"No, it's much worse. But don't worry, it's easily cured with the surgical removal of your left lung and right testicle."
"How ... what?!?"
"And we've got the finest surgeon in the world, Doctor @Moriveth who will be remote controlling a robot arm from Switzerland via a video game called Surgeon Simulator 2014. Even better, we're pretty sure he's mostly sober!"
Last night I had a dream that I put a bunch of nails in my mouth while I was riding in a box car and then the train lurched and I fell and the nails embedded themselves in the back/roof of my mouth and I had to pull them all out and I looked at my mouth in the mirror and there was a giant gaping wound in there and aaaaaaaaAaAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, ModeratorMod Emeritus
Last night I had a dream that I was making my son his peanut butter sandwich.
...Goddammit, parenthood.
But then I spent the rest of the dream on pointe, so that was nice.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
Last night I had a dream that earlier in the day I was on the forums and reading a thread started by a girl who was having relationship problems and then later I was at a masquerade (I blame ren Faire) and there was a young girl (15ish) I struck up a conversation with. It pretty much mirrored the forum thread so I asked at the end of the conversation and it was the same person!
I dunno what it's supposed to represent but I think it's my brain preparing me for being more Uncley as my nieces get older.
A friend of mine, who grew up watching the Nightmare on Elm Street movies as a young child, once told me that he had a Freddy Krueger dream while he had a loose baby tooth. In the dream, Freddy punched him in the mouth, causing him to wake up as he spit the tooth out onto his pillow.
Last night's longest dream was a unique one: Zhang Ziyi and I were apparently madly in love, but there was some fucked up Romeo and Juliet type of problem and her family (apparently the strongest Triad in Shanghai?) really hated mine ... which was apparently some sort of shipping conglomerate but had ties to (I shit you not) the Walt Disney criminal dynasty.
I want to remind you all that I can and did consume a not-insignificant quantity of alcohol yesterday.
Every time she and I would meet for sexy times, some cock-blocking bastards would interfere and then she would have to pretend to hate me ... which usually meant her shooting at me or trying to pummel me into paste while I had to pretend to fight back (not easy) and then pretend to lose (very easy). At least, that's what happened when other people were watching; every few minutes of a fight, we would invariably move into a blind spot where no one could see us and then we would have sex for like ... thirty seconds before she would go back to shooting at me or throwing molotov cocktails all around me.
As I type all this out, I realize that there are many of you who would pay good money to watch Zhang Ziyi beat the shit out of me and fill me full of lead, not the least of which would be @Metalbourne.
The last dream of the night/morning was oddly realistic. I was standing at my desk and pouring myself a glass of rather nice single malt that I found for a stupidly cheap price. As I raised the glass to my lips, I remembered that I had to go to work, I couldn't show up with scotch on my breath, what the fuck, Mike. And then I woke up exactly one minute before my 5 AM alarm.
Both of those dreams in sequence are just horrible ways that my subconscious is holding a tantalizing experience just outside my grasp and my subconscious can eat a dick.
Finally, Walt Disney's Criminal Dynasty will be the name of my next blue-grass album.
FishmanPut your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain.Registered Userregular
I sleep like a log. I don't remember my dreams all that often.
I mean, my wife can get up, go to the ensuite, fire up the spa bath for which the access panel is currently broken therefore the pump noise is unmuffled directly into the bedroom and I'll sleep through it, or at least have no recollection of it. I mean, I don't know if you know how loud a spa motor is, but it's frankly unfathomable that someone could be present in the bedroom and not be woken by the noise.
I recall nothing of last night.
But I did wake up with an overpowering taste and stench of blood in my mouth and nostrils.
It's not the first time it's happened, but this morning it was stronger; fresher somehow. It stuck with me all through the morning, not fading away behind the sensations of breakfast and the morning air. Raw, fresh blood, filling my jaw and throat and lungs, intoxicatingly delicious and raw and everpresent.
The other night I had a dream that me and @stilts and @bluedude were at a Walmart buying components to build a computer and also lumber for some kind of home improvement project
And the two of them were being real dicks because while I was lugging the lumber around they paid for the computer parts and left and wouldn't tell me where to meet up with them and kept giving me shit over the phone about it
Which was probably just a way for my brain to compensate for the fact that I have no idea what either of them look like
Ever since I started taking antidepressants I've been having a lot of weird dreams that aren't particularly exciting or anything, but they're vivid to the point where I'm really disoriented for a few minutes in the morning while I sort out what's real and what I dreamed about
Two weeks ago I dreamed a bee stung me on the palm of my hand and I spent the whole day touching the spot expecting to find a lump
Last night I woke up slightly and took a sleepy glance at the time on my phone and it said that it was nearly 2pm, and also that I was in Kazan...and I had a minor freak out and nearly went to look for ceres for comfort before remembering that she would possibly kill me for waking her, and definitely kill me if I woke her kid. So I sat there in the dark trying to work out where I actually was and basically doubting the entirety of my existence to date.
Then my phone blinked slightly and said I was in Nevada again, and it was more like 3am, and after a few more minutes of staring at the dark I went back to sleep.
Just a weird phone glitch? A dream that didn't actually happen? A brief and terrifying glimpse into the reality behind my coma dream?
Last night I dreamed I was on a plane ride somewhere. The plane kept morphing between like, a cessna and your typical boeing passenger jet, because, dreams.
Anyways I was not looking forward to going wherever it was, I knew it would be extremely stressful, there would be a ton of problems I would have to deal with, and basically I was responsible for whatever it was going on after landing. But I don't know or don't remember what it was, because, dreams.
Then the plane started having problems and people were moving back and forth from the cockpit to see what was wrong, and eventually after some rapid climbs and descents I went up there, and the pilot sort of jiggled the stick or whatever and was like 'yup, we're fucked' and then we started crashing. But I was relieved because I wouldn't have to deal with whatever bs was waiting for me after landing. I woke up before we actually crashed.
I wish I could not dream, that would be nice.
*Internally Screaming*
0
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Last nights dream was that I was living in some small rainy British hamlet, and the towns ancient protector/menace, a magma beast named Astoria that used blood magic and looked like a giant angry shrimp, was waking beneath the ground and sending me visions of it taking my blood to fuel its vengeance against the town council for passing new parking rules. The tip of Astoria's shrimpy, molten head begins poking up out of the square so I run into a bank and scream that I need a rental car and this old motherly looking lady tells me to try the Koreans and I scream at her to stop being racist and take off running into the rain then my alarm went off.
What the fuck is that old woman's problem? Just because a Hell shrimp is breaking through the crust of the earth to enact terrible blood rights for the transgression of passing new parking laws, it doesn't mean you get to be racist and say whatever the hell you want.
I had a boring work dream tonight, but a weird thing happened that I haven't experienced before. I was talking to a guy about pricelist-management in procurement systems and he kept talking about using "safety standards" and I had no idea what he meant. Suddenly it hits me that he's talking about SFTI standards (which is an actual thing) and he's like "yup, we just pronounce it safety".
I have never consciously made the SFTI/safety sound connection, but it's totally something I would do. It's scary suddenly being able to identify with the part of my brain that's been throwing random insane dreams at me for years.
I also just realized that I was dreaming in English. That's weird.
Posts
So I put the goat in an old claw-foot bathtub and filled it with water and dish detergent, and threw some of my clothes in there too because the goat had gotten this black stuff all over them.
Then I got the achievement "First Time Washing a Goat"
Don't ride the train with nails in your mouth!
Pushed the button and the doors opened to reveal three guys just standing there hip-thrusting in separate directions (one of them was upside down and this matters because) yelling "BANG! BANG! BANG!"
I woke up giggling like a lunatic and I still don't know what the fuck that was all about at all.
Gah why is that not my reality!
There was a big jumble of repeated events, I was going through the exact same thing over and over, and then the dream came into focus, and I was doing some illegal artifact dealing to a couple of people from the forum, including @Usagi
I knew exactly what I was looking for pot-hunting with them, exactly where to find it. I also knew it was a counterfeit antiquity that I had planted there myself, but that the counterfeit would be undetectable and still make Usagi et al. super rich.
We drove back to their place, and I thought something seemed slightly different, and I was overcome with both sadness and a desire to tell them I had gone through all this before. After some awkward conversation where I could tell they were wondering why this antiquities dealer was still hanging out and trying to talk to them, Usagi ended up taking me out to a bar.
I kept trying to broach the subject of the day's repeating events, but just despaired every time I got close. She then showed me a music video our of the blue, animated by Boulet.
"Well, that was a little different at least," I remarked, glumly.
There was an awkward pause, while she nodded her agreement.
"Should I replay it?" she asked, "To see if it changed again, yet?" I was shocked, and she said, "Of course I know. You made sure I was part of it. How did it go this time? You had a plan all written out this go."
I started crying and said, "I can't remember the fine details anymore. I just remember how happy I was. I have gone back and relived it so many times and I can't get back there. I can't even bring myself to meet her for the first time anymore."
"Well yeah. Why'd you wanna change it, anyway? That house wasn't so bad."
"I know but now it's all ruined and I just want to be with her again."
"Well that's easy."
And then I woke up. I had to turn over to make sure my girlfriend was still there. I smelled her armpit to make sure she was real. God.
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
How about just "Don't put nails in your mouth"
gangnam style
i solved the mystery
"Don't you mean chicken pox?"
"No, it's much worse. But don't worry, it's easily cured with the surgical removal of your left lung and right testicle."
"How ... what?!?"
"And we've got the finest surgeon in the world, Doctor @Moriveth who will be remote controlling a robot arm from Switzerland via a video game called Surgeon Simulator 2014. Even better, we're pretty sure he's mostly sober!"
And that's when I woke up drenched in sweat.
STAY AWAY FROM MY NUTS, MORI!!!
This will be here until I receive an apology or Weedlordvegeta get any consequences for being a bully
The images this conjures...
You know how I mentioned I once dreamed an episode of Batman:TAS?
This is more like an episode of Venture Bros.
TOOOO BAAAAD
So sad ....
...Goddammit, parenthood.
But then I spent the rest of the dream on pointe, so that was nice.
I dunno what it's supposed to represent but I think it's my brain preparing me for being more Uncley as my nieces get older.
I want to remind you all that I can and did consume a not-insignificant quantity of alcohol yesterday.
Every time she and I would meet for sexy times, some cock-blocking bastards would interfere and then she would have to pretend to hate me ... which usually meant her shooting at me or trying to pummel me into paste while I had to pretend to fight back (not easy) and then pretend to lose (very easy). At least, that's what happened when other people were watching; every few minutes of a fight, we would invariably move into a blind spot where no one could see us and then we would have sex for like ... thirty seconds before she would go back to shooting at me or throwing molotov cocktails all around me.
As I type all this out, I realize that there are many of you who would pay good money to watch Zhang Ziyi beat the shit out of me and fill me full of lead, not the least of which would be @Metalbourne.
The last dream of the night/morning was oddly realistic. I was standing at my desk and pouring myself a glass of rather nice single malt that I found for a stupidly cheap price. As I raised the glass to my lips, I remembered that I had to go to work, I couldn't show up with scotch on my breath, what the fuck, Mike. And then I woke up exactly one minute before my 5 AM alarm.
Both of those dreams in sequence are just horrible ways that my subconscious is holding a tantalizing experience just outside my grasp and my subconscious can eat a dick.
Finally, Walt Disney's Criminal Dynasty will be the name of my next blue-grass album.
I mean, my wife can get up, go to the ensuite, fire up the spa bath for which the access panel is currently broken therefore the pump noise is unmuffled directly into the bedroom and I'll sleep through it, or at least have no recollection of it. I mean, I don't know if you know how loud a spa motor is, but it's frankly unfathomable that someone could be present in the bedroom and not be woken by the noise.
I recall nothing of last night.
But I did wake up with an overpowering taste and stench of blood in my mouth and nostrils.
It's not the first time it's happened, but this morning it was stronger; fresher somehow. It stuck with me all through the morning, not fading away behind the sensations of breakfast and the morning air. Raw, fresh blood, filling my jaw and throat and lungs, intoxicatingly delicious and raw and everpresent.
Probably nothing, though, right?
Do you suffer blood noses?
What's a joke
From where? How much are they, and what do they do?
over there, 17, red.
And the two of them were being real dicks because while I was lugging the lumber around they paid for the computer parts and left and wouldn't tell me where to meet up with them and kept giving me shit over the phone about it
Which was probably just a way for my brain to compensate for the fact that I have no idea what either of them look like
But still
Way to be JERKS you guys
http://www.audioentropy.com/
Two weeks ago I dreamed a bee stung me on the palm of my hand and I spent the whole day touching the spot expecting to find a lump
http://www.audioentropy.com/
Last night I woke up slightly and took a sleepy glance at the time on my phone and it said that it was nearly 2pm, and also that I was in Kazan...and I had a minor freak out and nearly went to look for ceres for comfort before remembering that she would possibly kill me for waking her, and definitely kill me if I woke her kid. So I sat there in the dark trying to work out where I actually was and basically doubting the entirety of my existence to date.
Then my phone blinked slightly and said I was in Nevada again, and it was more like 3am, and after a few more minutes of staring at the dark I went back to sleep.
Just a weird phone glitch? A dream that didn't actually happen? A brief and terrifying glimpse into the reality behind my coma dream?
I report, you decide.
Anyways I was not looking forward to going wherever it was, I knew it would be extremely stressful, there would be a ton of problems I would have to deal with, and basically I was responsible for whatever it was going on after landing. But I don't know or don't remember what it was, because, dreams.
Then the plane started having problems and people were moving back and forth from the cockpit to see what was wrong, and eventually after some rapid climbs and descents I went up there, and the pilot sort of jiggled the stick or whatever and was like 'yup, we're fucked' and then we started crashing. But I was relieved because I wouldn't have to deal with whatever bs was waiting for me after landing. I woke up before we actually crashed.
I wish I could not dream, that would be nice.
Geez, give your generation a bad name, whydoncha?
My most common one, though, is probably the "you have to go back to high school on some weird technicality" thing.
Um, what else?
I've gotten rejected by girls in my dreams before. I don't think I've ever dreamed the opposite.
I once dreamt I was leading an invasion of Cuba for some reason.
I have never consciously made the SFTI/safety sound connection, but it's totally something I would do. It's scary suddenly being able to identify with the part of my brain that's been throwing random insane dreams at me for years.
I also just realized that I was dreaming in English. That's weird.