PTSD and me.

Ceno

Hey guys.

I have post traumatic stress disorder. My father committed a violent suicide in 2008 and I was the one who initially found him and had to deal with both that and telling everyone what happened, etc. I've been through the wringer since then, went to therapy for a year, which was only as long as I could afford it, had vivid hallucinations and lucid flashbacks. Had a lot of support from family and friends and seemed to pull things together. Got married in 2009, had a daughter in 2012, was a stay-at-home dad for two years, then 2014 happened.

I have at least six or seven completely disabling severe anxiety attacks this year, we moved to a new state, and now I'm working again and I can barely function. Having emotional breakdowns, feel completely frazzled and broken. We're also having some bad financial problems at the moment. I was looking into what exactly qualifies for government disability but I'm kind of lost and don't know what to do.

Any advice would be great.

Artereis

The Affordable Care Act greatly expanded mental health coverage for most plans. I know under my wife's plan, visits to a professional are 100% covered. If you're on any kind of insurance, the first thing to do is look into their coverage options.

The Ender

I also have PTSD, and sporadic... episodes.

Have you talked to a professional about this? When i was diagnosed, I was given medication that helped a lot.


Disability subsidies are going to depend on your country & state / provincial laws. Where do you live?

Gnizmo

SSI certainly covers it. SSDI is always an epic battle and I can't tell you how that would end. I highly recommend you get a therapist again.

To relate my story I worked for child protective services for a little over a year. I saw some shit. Bad shit. To the point where I will still occasionally tell a "funny" story and get horrified looks because of how awful it was to people not in the profession. The burn out was quite obviously harsh and I am only now starting to get back to work.

I spent about 2 months away from therapy. I became a god damned mess. I could barely think of applying for jobs let alone working one. I stayed in the bedroom terrified to leave for whatever reason. Once I got back into therapy it resolved amazingly fast.

This is not to say that it will go away, or that it has gone away for me. This is to say getting to be able to talk about it changes things back to the better so amazingly fast it staggers the mind. I didn't think it would get so bad, or it could come back so harshly. I didn't imagine the recovery a second time would go so well. I also know a lot of therapists and clinics do a sliding scale to accommodate low income, and offer off hour appointments.

Medication can also have some amazing turn arounds as well with a slightly longer initial start sometimes. There are also sliding scale clinics for this. I don't know you area of the country so I can't tell you where to go, but I will scour my resources to find it if you want.

Stay strong, stay safe, and build forts. Forts help a lot. Don't ask why, but I hve found it universally true.

Heartlash

In addition to what everyone else has said, take a little time every day to try to convince yourself that you will not feel this way forever. I recently had a severe anxiety episode, and one of the most difficult things was believing that it would get better. It did, and yours will, too. Always try to remember that, even when you're at your worst. This thing will not take over your life, even if it seems like it will.

Ceno

Thanks for the input, guys.

I currently live in Arizona and will be unemployed as of tomorrow. The commute and gas costs in addition to day care for my kid basically meant I was losing my money by working at this particular location. So I have to find a closer job (and quickly) to avoid some bad financial problems. I have a good lead that I'll hopefully hear about tomorrow.

Taranis

IANAD, but I also have PTSD. Until you can manage to get professional treatment, try talking about your trauma and your recurring fears with your wife. As you may know, a refusal to deal with the trauma is what perpetuates PTSD. You may have also developed some unhealthy thought patterns and defense mechanisms. Working these out with someone you trust can be very helpful. Sharing emotions is large part of it too. Try to keep yourself from shutting off negative emotions and instead find comfort with your partner.

Exercise is also very helpful (for me at least). It's a safe and healthy way to let off the stress which comes with the disorder.

Gnizmo

Taranis wrote: »

IANAD, but I also have PTSD. Until you can manage to get professional treatment, try talking about your trauma and your recurring fears with your wife. As you may know, a refusal to deal with the trauma is what perpetuates PTSD. You may have also developed some unhealthy thought patterns and defense mechanisms. Working these out with someone you trust can be very helpful. Sharing emotions is large part of it too. Try to keep yourself from shutting off negative emotions and instead find comfort with your partner.

Exercise is also very helpful (for me at least). It's a safe and healthy way to let off the stress which comes with the disorder.

I would like to second this. Not a doctor, but a social worker and a survivor myself. If you have people you can talk to about it that helps tons. Scary and hard, but good.