Previously on Cards...
@Dr. Flamingo - 5 Points!!!!
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Centaurs.
Three months in the hole.; kid-tested, mother-approved!
In the Seventh Circle of Hell, sinners must endure Becoming a blueberry for all eternity.
What's a girl's best friend? A zesty breakfast burrito.
Before 24-hour media coverage, all we had was Police brutality.
@MegaMek- 2 Points
That's right, I killed The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. How, you ask? A Burmese Tiger Pit.
After months of practice with The profoundly handicapped, I think I'm finally ready forDick Cheney.
@theSquid- 1 Points
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced two midgets shitting into a bucket and the moist, demanding chasm of his mouth at the same time. at the same time.
@Elvenshae- 0 Points
@tapeslinger- 1 Points
Next season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only A balanced breakfast. and his wits.
@Sir Fabulous- 2 Points
Finally! A service that delivers Passive-aggressive Post-it notes right to your door.
In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with Living in a trashcan for the first time.
Round 1:
That's right, I killed _____. How, you ask? _____@Elvenshae is the judge.
Posts
That's right, I killed The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. How, you ask? A Burmese Tiger Pit. Winner: MegaMek
That's right, I killed Sexual tension How, you ask? Lockjaw. theSquid
That's right, I killed Stalin. How, you ask? Half-assed foreplay. tapeslinger
That's right, I killed Republicans. How, you ask? My machete. Dr. Flamingo
That's right, I killed God. How, you ask? Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sir Fabulous
What Yule Time Slayer will haunt you until New Years, @Elvenshae?
I love you, Pyotr, but it's time for a break.
@Grunt's Ghosts
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Round 2: During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _____.
PM your cards to me while @MegaMek deals with his sudden fascination with Furries.
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Centaurs. Winner: Dr. Flamingo
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Getting drunk on mouthwash. theSquid
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into The Boy Scouts of America. Elvenshae
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into The Chinese gymnastics team. Sir Fabulous
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Hot cheese. tapeslinger
What is scaring you for life @MegaMek that will require years with a great therapist to get rid of?
"Y'see son, they're the best of both worlds."
And I never saw my old man again.
@Dr. Flamingo is the judge because I couldn't put his name in the witty comment above.
Round 3: Finally! A service that delivers _____ right to your door.
Send me your anwsers while @Dr. Flamingo finds out that that ad on Craigslist doesn't deliver the kind of daddy he was looking for.
Finally! A service that delivers Civilian casualties right to your door. tapeslinger
Finally! A service that delivers Sexy pillow fights right to your door. theSquid
Finally! A service that delivers Passive-aggressive Post-it notes right to your door. Winner: Sir Fabulous
Finally! A service that delivers A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles right to your door. MegaMek
Finally! A service that delivers Natalie Portman right to your door. Elvenshae
So what are you buying in bulk before the government shuts it down, @Dr. Flamingo?
Oh wait, I do know. Better. That's how I lived.
Round 4: Next season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only ____ and his wits.
Let me know how Bear survives Cyber Monday while @Sir Fabulous drinks something that might have been pee at some point...
Uncanny Magazine!
The Mad Writers Union
Next season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only Smallpox blankets and his wits. Elvenshae
Next season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only dick fingers and his wits. MegaMek
Next season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only Sudden Poop Explosion Disease and his wits. Dr. Flamingo
Next season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only A balanced breakfast. and his wits. Winner: tapeslinger
Next season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only Amputees and his wits. theSquid
What's going to send @Sir Fabulous screaming into the woods faster then the uncensored airing of Seth Rogen and James Franco's "Naked and Afraid" episode?
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
Cereal and pee
Pee oatmeal
And a glass of pee to wash it all down
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
Round 5: ______; kid-tested, mother-approved!
Send in your answers while Hasbro Games and @tapeslinger test out the new Man vs. Wild boardgame, which comes with live snakes and a bottle of purified urine.
Three months in the hole.; kid-tested, mother-approved! Winner: Dr. Flamingo
Wiping her butt; kid-tested, mother-approved! MegaMek
Jerking off into a pool of children's tears; kid-tested, mother-approved! theSquid
Maximal insertion; kid-tested, mother-approved! Elvenshae
Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes; kid-tested, mother-approved! Sir Fabulous
What is the best way to revive those brain cells, @tapeslinger?
Uncanny Magazine!
The Mad Writers Union
Round 6: You haven't truly lived until you've experienced ___________ and __________ at the same time.
PM me two cards while @Dr. Flamingo blows his mind with jail and product testing.
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced two midgets shitting into a bucket and the moist, demanding chasm of his mouth at the same time. at the same time. Winner: theSquid
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced A nuanced critique and Mr. Clean, right behind you at the same time. MegaMek
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced Fiery Poops and Scrotum Tickling at the same time. Sir Fabulous
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced Elderly Japanese men and Stephen Hawking talking dirty at the same time. Elvenshae
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced Weapons-grade plutonium and Half-assed foreplay at the same time. tapeslinger
What should everyone try to say that they truly lived, @Dr. Flamingo?
Round 7: In the Seventh Circle of Hell, sinners must endure _______ for all eternity.
PM me the worst way @theSquid is paying for putting that awful image in my head.
In the Seventh Circle of Hell, sinners must endure Becoming a blueberry for all eternity. Winner: Dr. Flamingo
In the Seventh Circle of Hell, sinners must endure Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him) for all eternity. Elvenshae
In the Seventh Circle of Hell, sinners must endure Emotions for all eternity. Sir Fabulous
In the Seventh Circle of Hell, sinners must endure Grandma for all eternity. MegaMek
In the Seventh Circle of Hell, sinners must endure Doing the right thing for all eternity. tapeslinger
What makes us wish we could just drop into the 8th level of Hell, @theSquid?
Round 8: In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _____ for the first time.
PM me your cards while Dr. Flamingo gets promoted to the Third Circle just to be twerked on by the Spawn of Satan herself.
In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with Living in a trashcan for the first time. Winner: Sir Fabulous.
In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with making the penises kiss for the first time. theSquid
In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with Blowing some dudes in an alley for the first time. MegaMek
In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with Gandalf for the first time. tapeslinger
In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with erectile dysfunction for the first time. Elvenshae
Which direction is Disney taking the show, @Dr. Flamingo?
Round 9: What's a girl's best friend?
Let me know as while Sir Fabulous looks, well, fabulous with a garbage bag dress and a popcorn pearl necklace in this year's newest fashion for the poor and broken.
Edit: Also, the things I do for love.
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
What's a girl's best friend? Natural Male Enhancement. tapeslinger
What's a girl's best friend? Reverse cowgirl. MegaMek
What's a girl's best friend? Jumping out at people. theSquid
What's a girl's best friend? A zesty breakfast burrito. Winner: Dr. Flamingo
What's a girl's best friend? The folly of men. ElvenShae
So what bribes did you used to keep her from leaving you, @Sir Fabulous?
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
Round 10: After months of practice with ________, I think I'm finally ready for _______.
Send me your PMs while Dr. Flamingo masters the Art of Holding Your Breath.
After months of practice with The gays, I think I'm finally ready for Gay aliens. Sir Fabulous
After months of practice with The profoundly handicapped, I think I'm finally ready for Dick Cheney. Winner: MegaMek
After months of practice with preteens, I think I'm finally ready for Fuck Mountain. theSquid
After months of practice with Intimacy problems, I think I'm finally ready for 72 virgins. tapeslinger
After months of practice with a lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint, I think I'm finally ready for the violation of our most basic human rights. Elvenshae
What's your Goal of Perfection, @Dr. Flamingo?