Here's a convenient horse-based calendar system to help you plan out your coming weeks:
If you're just joining us again and have maybe forgotten where you left off, here's some helpful hints. Let's start from, say, [ S] Cascade.
. (Parts that still happened from John's perspective are dealt with on an inconsistent, case-by-case basis.)
- The kids turn out to be responsible for creating the Green Sun.
- Act 6 opens with introducing us to the post-Scratch kids' universe, introducing Jane, Roxy, Jake, and Dirk.
- Since they are from the post-Scratch universe, that means their guardians were the post-Scratch analogues of Rose, Dave, and Jade. John's Dad, though, appears exactly the same as Jane's Dad.
- In the post-Scratch Earth, the kids receive the Sburb Alpha from the all-powerful Crockercorp.
- Instead of Becquerel, post-Scratch's Earth's First Guardian is Gcat.
- Act 6 is punctuated with a series of Intermissions, which track the adventures of the pre-Act 6 cast.
- Act 6 also introduces the pre-Scratch trolls (instead of Alternia, they called their planet "Beforus"). Only two of them are important to late events: Meenah, a spunky heiress whose hero is the post-Scratch version of herself, Her Imperial Condescension; and Aranea, a bookish Scorpio troll with a gift for gab whose hero is the post-Scratch version of herself, Mindfang.
- Speaking of HIC, as Lord English's servant, she has been tasked with preparing the post-Scratch universe for his arrival. At some point in the future (relative to 2011), she took over all the world's government and wiped out most of the human race. Before this, she headed Betty Crocker, Inc.
- Jane and Jake are from 2011, while Roxy and Dirk live alone in the post-apocalyptic future brought about by HIC.
- Act 6 also introduces the Cherubs Calliope and Caliborn.
- Calliope is portrayed as shy, gentle, and sweet. Her brother, Caliborn, is a psychopath.
- One of the major reveals is that the two cherubs share the same body. When one goes to sleep, the other wakes up. When we first meet them, they are trapped in a room until one of them comes to "dominate".
- At the end of Act 5, the original or "beta" kids were separated into two groups. Rose and Dave reached godtier in the closing moments of Act 5, and joined the remaining trolls (Karkat, Terezi, Kanaya, Vriska
, and Gamzee) on the meteor. Jade, John
, and all the planets and sprites from Acts 1-5 hitched a ride on a battleship Jade piloted through the Fourth Wall.
- Two exceptions to the troll count are Aradia and Sollux. Sollux is still half-alive, while Aradia is godtier but otherwise mostly neutral.
- For the most part, nothing productive happens on either vessels during the three-year journey to the new, post-Scratch kids' universe. As the meteor sails through the Furthest Ring, it occasionally interacts with dream bubbles, which for the most part means encounters with the pre-Scratch trolls. The dream bubbles also intersect each other, meaning some of the trolls from different universes can interact.
- Meenah sets about trying to raise a ghost army, which she winds up putting to use for Vriska's plan to gain the ultimate weapon to defeat Lord English. Also assisting her in this plan are Aranea, Tavros, half-alive Sollux, and several other dead trolls. Karkat meets her in one dream bubble and they agree to work together, but nothing comes of it.
-Terezi spends a large part of Act 6 with her eyes covered, with the reveal near the end that she had Aranea (a Slyph of Light) heal her eyesight. She has come to regret this. She is also still wracked with guilt by her decision to kill Vriska. Until an invention near the end of the meteor's journey, she has gradually developed a Faygo-addiction in the throes of a blackrom with Gamzee.
- Rose develops an alcohol problem, but
begins dating Kanaya. Kanaya also met her ancestor, a troll named Porrim who is, shall we say, very comfortable in her own skin. She teaches Kanaya the trick to controlling her drinker glowness.
- Given the fact that Kanaya was last seen trying to kill him, Gamzee spends most of the time on the meteor in hiding. In one dream bubble sequence, though, a troll named Kurloz brings him the pieces he needs to outfit himself as a godtier. This includes a ridiculous codpiece.
- Dave mostly spends his time hanging out Karkat and/or WV, whom he refers to as the Mayor.
- Jade dates Davesprite for a while before they break up. John gradually gains some teenager angst, but at his core he's still, well, John. In one dream bubble sequence he steals/recovers a Ring of Life, which has the power to bring any ghost, well, back to life.
- For the most part, the new kids are long on interpersonal drama but short on doing things.
- Jane is the first into the Medium. Jane is equal parts serious and silly, and enjoys solving mysteries. She has a huge crush on Jake.
- Jake loves adventures, being strong, and blue alien ladies. He turns out to also have been Jade's Penpal from back in the day. His speech is peppered with early-20th century slang, despite growing up in 2011. He lives on a remote island, but the island is covered in jungle infested with beasts from Alternia. Jake isn't sure who he likes, and is for the most part baffled as to why people find him attractive.
- Dirk is a too-cool-for-school genius. While he very much appreciates irony, he is generally more low-key and legitimately calm, cool, and collected (as opposed to, say, Dave). He invented an artificial intelligence based on his own intellect (though from a couple years ago) to serve as an auto-repsonder, and then embedded the program into one of his pairs of shades. As a result, while has grown more mature, the AR is still mostly himself at 13. Dirk and the AR both have a huge crush on Jake.
- Roxy is a spunky h4x0r g1rl who has, perhaps unsurprisingly, a drinking problem. She legitimately loves wizards, and also cats. "Her possession" is the answer to what happened to Jaspers, basically. Roxy has a crush on the unobtainable Dirk.
- The alpha kids interact with each other and the two cherubs. Calliope is nice and friendly and tries to give the alpha kids advice without affecting the timeline too much. She considers Roxy her best friend. Caliborn taunts and insults the alpha kids, though he hates Dirk a little less than the others. As a result, he asks Dirk to draw weirdly tame "pornography" for him.
- The Alpha kids all enter the Medium with various degrees of distress, but their session is a void one: its Skaia cannot bear the seeds of a new universe, no matter what they do. This is where Jade's plan comes in: by bringing the Skaia and planets from their session, they can make it whole. This explains the 8-planet diagram from Act 2
- Caliborn predominates over his sister (by hiring his session's Jack Noir to kill her dreamself and then escaping his confines by biting off his own leg) and enters the Medium into a dead session, which has special rules. Also mysteriously present in this realm is Gamzee, who despite Caliborn's best efforts, continues to live. At this point, Caliborn also talks directly to the narrator/author.
- In the Alpha session, their HB? was decapitated by Dirk and through a series of events that Jack Noir is captured by the forces of Propsit. DD? takes over administration of Derse in his stead, though he still ships off most of the boring paperwork to Jack.
- Let's fast-forward a bit. Jane alchemizes both the cherbus' jujus, which are red and green suckers. They combine, and then Jane cannot resist taking a lick. This engages TRICKSTER MODE. She gradually infects the other three alpha kids, though it seems to have little effect on Dirk other than changing his appears. They declare that being tricksters allow them to resolve all their personal problems and make everything great forever. The end.
- They wake up with massive hangovers on their quest beds in the middle of Prospit and Derse.
- Still in jail on Propsit, Jack receives a gift. (It's actually the second one he gets, but the first is a useless one from CD?.) It contains the fixed up, green-felt Lil' Cal doll. As Caliborn stares into its eyes, Jack does the same, causing him to be overtaken by his will. Jack stabs out his own eyes, saws off his own leg, and blows his way out of the prison. The fires begin consuming the planet.
- At the same time, HIC appears (having also usurped this universe's Derse). Together, and Jack and destroy Propsit and Derse's moons, thus killing the Alpha kids on their quest beds.
- Jake and Jane are immediately beset by the crazed Jack, but Jade arrives just in time to stop him. She transports him to the edge of their Incipisphere.
- HIC uses her inherent Scorpio and Taurus powers to control Jade, who thus becomes "grimbark". She then teleports Jane's tiaratop right onto Jane's head, giving HIC direct control over Jane.
- Dirk, being the most dangerous of the kids, also gets transported to the edge of the Incipisphere.
- Roxy and Jake are then thrown in jail back on Derse.
- As the meteor gets closer to its arrival, we are also treated to intermissions of intermissions where Caliborn expands his retinue of followers (who turn out to be the Felt) while he destroys planets in a tricky and specified order.
- John has one last encounter with Vriska and Co., which ends awkwardly since most of her crew abandons her because, well, she's kind of an asshole. She does, however, succeed in finding the "weapon", which turns out to be a weird panel that looks like the Sburb logo. John sticks his arm in it, which causes him to zap away.
- These "zaps" bounce John around in the Homestuck canon. They also allow him to alter the procession of it without any repercussions (as opposed to time travel). Notably, many back pages of Homestuck now have John's arm hidden somewhere in them.
- Spades Slick survived the raid on Hussie's mansion by Lord English, and escapes with the Felt and Ms. Paint in tow. They use the 4th Panel to go back to Doc Scratch's apartment, and then escape through the grandfather clock to alpha kids' Incipisphere. This adds a third party working their way back toward the inner planets, after Dirk and that universe's Jack Noir.
- John continues zapping uncontrollably through the canon, but he finally winds up back in the new Medium, just after the battleship arrives.
- The Meteor approaches at the same time. Jade appears and then teleports all aboard to John's location, much to his happy surprise.
- At this point, Caliborn has gained control over the narrative prompt and hijacks the website for an infantile parody of Homestuck called "HOMOSUCK".
- While laughing manically, he accidentally unlocks a panel in the room he's currently in (similar to WV) which contains three items: a basic drawing book for children, a "How to Draw Manga" book with a poorly drawn manga lady on the cover, and the Homestuck ACT 6 ACT 6 SUPERCARTRIDGE EXPANSION PACK.
- Caliborn fills the cartridge with special stardust and plugs it in. The stardust becomes a factor in most of the narrative up to the present.
- After being reunited, the remaining kids and trolls have been scattered across various planets. In time, we learn that only John has any idea what happened, but he's usually not around for every long as he continues to run from Jade.
- Jade (well, HIC) has a mission for the still in-jail Roxy: to use her powers as a Rogue of Void to "steal" the Matriorb back from being destroyed. Roxy reluctantly agrees to comply, though Jade isn't really very good at being evil.
- Jane, now basically a robot for HIC, also has a mission for Jake: even though she doesn't know why she liked him so much now, she says that he will still give her lots of children once she's running the show. Jake, for his part, sobs uncontrollably and whines to his brain ghost image of Dirk.
- Jade also has a mission for Dave, but he is extremely reluctant to ever use his time-travel powers ever again.
- Jade and Jane team up to give Kanaya and Karkat a mission, and to secure their compliance, Jane kills, and then using her Maid of Life powers, revives Karkat.
- This sort of works, but it mostly just makes Kanaya pissed off at Jane.
- John's windy powers can clean up the pixelation caused by the stardust.
- At first, the original(?) Jack Noir and PM, now both infused with Bec powers from their rings, were chasing after each other, but they have settled into working together.
- As events wind toward where the Gigapause started, John sends himself to meet with Roxy. He tries to help her with using her godtier powers to use the Matriorb, which sort of helps.
- However, he heads back to the Battleship and notices that his ring is missing. This is because Aranea had Gamzee hid in his fridge and then steal it when the opportunity revealed itself. Using mind control, she then has Gamzee go to sleep and bring her the ring, thus reviving her. Aranea's plan is to fuck things up sufficiently that the current session doesn't bear fruit, and then use her own powers to prevent the chain of events that spawn Lord English, this removing him from all realities.
Meenah tries to talk her out of it, but fails and instead
is left to chill out with Vriska.
- Aranea then sets her plan in motion by trying "awaken" Jake's Page of Hope powers via a kiss. This fails, so she just heals him instead. This causes Jake to speak entirely in booming, old-timey phrases. He is also powerful enough to fend off even Jade. To resolve the situation, Jade teleports everyone in a certain radius to her own planet, LOFAF. (Which is also where Karkat and Kanaya are already.)
- Karkat hears from Meenah about Aranea's plan, and also contacts Dave, who in turns gets in touch with Rose. Thus, the remaining characters converge on LOFAF.
- In the ensuing fighting, Aranea kills Jade by burying her under her own house. Aranea manipulates the odds to make Jade's death just. Dave wants to use Jane's powers to remedy the situation, but Gamzee comes out of no where and entangles himself with Jane. After that is resolved by a flying Terezi kick to the face, PM and Jack arrive and fly off with Jade's body.
- Terezi begins beating up and stabbing Gamzee with her cane.
- Ghost Jade winds up at the same voidy vortex Calliope has ensconced herself in. (This is the last sighting of these two characters as of right now.)
- Jake's hope powers cause his brain ghost image of Dirk to become real. Dirk takes up the fight against Aranea by using his Prince of Heart powers to rip Aranea's soul from her body, which will kill her even despite the ring. However, the ring's effects make this task very time-consuming.
- In this process, Rose arrives to see that Roxy is passed out beside that scene. Dirk tells her to get Roxy out of there.
- Jake's protective hope field dissipates as Aranea slowly dies, giving Jane an opening to kill him. His death is considered heroic.
- Aranea's soul snaps back into her body, but her mind control spell over Gamzee is broken, so he starts to beat the shit out of Terezi. Jake revives near the scene, but he is unable to do anything. Neither is Rose.
- Jane takes the opening to move in on Aranea, so she puts her to sleep. However, Jane powers through it and sort of begins sleep-beating her up.
- Karkat and Kanaya arrive just in time to witness the scene. Karkat tells Gamzee that they're not going to hug it out this time, but that's right when HIC's battleship arrives. She looks none too pleased at the situation.
And that's that where we stopped before the gigapause! (Uh, let me know if I missed anything important or got anything wrong.) When I have time I might add links to this. Updates resumed
. Here's those events, with the same notes from above.
- With the resumption of updates, we were treated to another round of Caliborn's "masterpiece". His latest announcement is that he has mastered the techniques of drawing manga.
- During the middle of Caliborn's self-aggrandizing, John once finds himself in the same room as him. ANOTHER INTENSE STAREDOWN ensues.
- This time, though, John calls out Caliborn as being the guy "behind all this". Caliborn yells aloud, to John and us, that this time, John will pay.
- John manages to get the upper hand and pummel Caliborn. Meanwhile, in the along-awaited confrontation on LOFAF, Karkat, Kanaya, Gamzee, Dave, Jake, and Jane are all killed. Rose and Terezi are severely injured, and several planets are collided into each other. HIC has won. She pops Aranea's ring off her finger, but just for good measure, HIC also breaks her neck, earning her a just death. John zaps in to the carnage and asks, "what the fuck happened here".
- Act 6 Act 6 Act 4 begins. Caliborn laments that he got beat up because "some teen" didn't like his story. He tries to tell us that he is "misunderstood". And to finish his work, he needs cold hard cash. Or the next best thing: CAL COINS, a cryptocurrency which he claims "TO LARGELY UNDERSTAND".
- Amidst the floating wreckage, John finds Dirk. Dirk isn't in the mood to chat, telling John, "I failed."
- John catches up to Roxy and Rose. Rose lives long enough to say that she regrets not telling Kanaya, or her mom, that she loved them. She dies, heroically.
- John tries to come to grips with the current situation, which is, by his own admission, the worst possible one. Roxy notes that the Condesce has systematically crushed her dreams once again, and wonders out loud if maybe they should just ride out "this doomed timeline".
- Suddenly, someone with rocket wings flies toward John and Roxy, but then crashes in a huge explosion. Nonetheless, Terezi, still blindfolded and bleeding from her chest wound, emerges from the wreckage, headbutts John, and tells him to "F1X TH1S".
- Jade and Calliope continue to catchup, and eventually Jade remembers that she'd met Callie before. Except, as the conversation continues, it becomes obvious this isn't a Jade we're familiar with, as she details an encounter with a version of Calliope that dominated.
- Terezi wants John to talk to Typheus to see if he can learn how to use his new, retcon-like powers. However, she isn't sure what to change if actually manages to succeed in doing so. Roxy goes to see her denizen, Nix.
- They try something, and it doesn't work. John flies off to see his denizen.
- Jade begins to tell Calliope her story: she was sitting on the battleship one day on their journey when all of a sudden LOWAS exploded, killing John and Davesprite. According to the Calliope this Jade met, it was because a John elsewhere had met with Typheus and struck a deal, so that LOWAS's Typheus blew up the planet.
- Alternate Calliope, herself from a doomed timeline, relays the story of a John from a doomed timeline, which is to say, this John.
- John was given The Choice, and Typheus flooded the chamber with oil. Submerged with no means of escape, John could only do one thing: "retcon" the oil out of his present situation, and distribute it all throughout reality. (This means that like John's arm, several back pages of Homestuck
now have oil in them.)
- John is then finally able to play his instrument, and the breeze blows all throughout LOWAS and, indeed, reality. (Lil' Seb helpfully places ACT 6 ACT 6 back in its slot, though.)
- Afterward, John meets up again with Roxy, fresh from seeing Nix, though all Nix told her was to go to LOWAS.
- Roxy notes that the sky of LOWAS is now "blank". John posits it is because "we are literally nowhere".
- They chat a bit more, but John goes off again to try to use his powers, though he still doesn't really have a plan, per se. After a few false starts, he remembers that thing him and Terezi tried earlier, so he tries it again: "there's no place like home".
- Armed with a new password-based system, we enter "HOME". This time, Terezi's plan works.
- We quickly check-in with Vriska and Meenah, who find themselves on some sort of carnival planet. After assurances that it isn't the "dark carnival", they decide to get tattoos.
- Terezi gives John a list of her memories, which correspond to events in her past which need changing. She uses only her memories because she doesn't feel comfortable trying to fix anyone else's mistakes. She then dies. John continues thinking troll girls are weird.
- Jane finds herself in the same place as Jade and Calliope. She gets hooked up with her own trollsona with a quickness.
- John's first task: grab the ring of life. He is zapped back to the big reunion, which he immediately makes weird, but he's out of there quickly enough.
- Vriska and Meenah take in some exploding realities. Vriska has an anchor tattoo on her left arm.
- John begins his trip into the past in earnest. First he rescues witness to Lemonsnout's trial. Next, writes "you dont need him" on the wall of Terezi's block after the most adorable conversation in Homestuck history. John, like us, puzzles over who "him" is.
- Jane is apparently telling the story of their trickster mode adventures. However, it also becomes clear that this Jane is also not the one we're familiar with. She, too, was also turned into an evil cyborg, but in her timeline the Derse prisoners managed a prisonbreak. In the ensuing melee, Roxy is killed.
- Speaking of whom, Roxy buries Rose on LOWAS, and is comforted by Jaspersprite.
- John next jumps to Terezi's investigation of Tavros's death, and he deploys the witness from earlier. John tries to figure out what anything he's done has to do with anything. He next winds up next to Nepeta's corpse, with a crime scene faked by Gamzee to make it look like Vriska did it. And, indeed, he was told to write "it was gamzee you idiot", but he also gets in a note saying that regardless if she meant Dave or Karkat, she should probably save herself the trouble and avoid Dave.
- Next, he finds himself in Gamzee's weird, Chrono Trigger shop lair, where she decided to go after Vriska. He is told to honk a horn. He does. She turns only to find Gamzee. While John readies for the next step, Terezi bursts from the room as before, but this time with Gamzee hogtied.
- Vriska and Meenah continue their dead funtimes. The ghost of the author is bummed.
- Jane continues relaying her tale, saying her programming prevented her from reviving Roxy. However, she says there was an unanticipated factor within the group she faced, someone HIC didn't account for.
- John makes his last jump, right to the moment before Terezi stabs Vriska. Vriska is the one that turns on hearing his voice, which is convenient because he then delivers a flying punch to her face. She is KO'd. Terezi demands to see the scarf, what with it being written in her blood and all, but John refuses. At any rate, he can't complete the last item, which is to give Terezi (or Vriska?) his wallet, as he doesn't have it.
- As the other trolls converge on the roof of the meteor, John decides to flee before things get too weird, though Karkat doesn't make that easy.
- John returns to LOWAS and gives Roxy the ring. They, and a tree, zap away together.
- Jade's memory is sufficiently resolved, and she realizes they were never dead at all. Just knocked out by our favorite telepathic troll. ::::)