[Cards Against Humanity] TRV wins and wrecks it for everyone else.

chamberlain

@Sir Fabulous knew he had a very special issue of Sky Mall when he ran across these ads:

Forget everything you know about Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum, because now we've supercharged it with Slightly more than 3 ounces of cum! (Egos)
Forget everything you know about My sex dungeon, because now we've supercharged it with Doggy-style with a real doggy! (Cog )
Forget everything you know about A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw, because now we've supercharged it with The few shreds of tinsel still clinging to my asshole! (Heffling)
Forget everything you know about Natural selection, because now we've supercharged it with My machete! (Cythraul)
Forget everything you know about Finally finishing off the Indians, because now we've supercharged it with A gratuitous claymation sequence! (Gizzy)
Forget everything you know about Yiffing, because now we've supercharged it with Being kicked in the ovaries! (Anialos)

Cythraul

I like these.

There's something wrong with me...

...with all of us.

Cog

Man.

Good round.

Do not envy @Sir Fabulous having to judge this one.

Megafrost

Thirded. This is a very amazing round.

Sir Fabulous

In a game where the goal is to go too far,

Forget everything you know about My sex dungeon, because now we've supercharged it with Doggy-style with a real doggy!

Might be the worst it can get. There's something about the enthusiasm the exclamation mark adds at the end there that just tickles me.
No wait not in that way wai-

chamberlain

From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,' @Cog brings the reader to some very strange places.

And the aftermath?

@Sir Fabulous @Egos @Heffling @Cythraul @Gizzy @Anialos

Mmmmm, _____! …and it's still warm!

chamberlain

@Egos what can you possible have to do on the weekend that is more important than an offensive card game being played on a gaming forum?

chamberlain

@Cog what's your favorite way to stay warm on these cool fall evenings?

Mmmmm, Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti! …and it's still warm! (Heffling)
Mmmmm, The miracle of childbirth! …and it's still warm! (Cythrual)
Mmmmm, Flesh-eating bacteria! …and it's still warm! (Sir Fabuous)
Mmmmm, Giant sperm from outer space! …and it's still warm! (Egos)
Mmmmm, A chronic colonic.! …and it's still warm! (Gizzy)
Mmmmm, A urine-filled bong! …and it's still warm! (Anialos )

Cog

Maybe it's because it's the most relatable, but there's something about a bong full of hot piss that is seriously disturbing.

chamberlain

When asked how high he was at the time, @Anialos shrugged and said he was multitasking. 'Hey man, my bong could be used on sea anemone stings.'

@Cog @Heffling @Cythraul @Sir Fabulous @Egos @Gizzy

Just in time for next year's Sundance Film Festival:

Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with _____.

chamberlain

Ok @Anialos I would like the answer delivered in your best 'In a world...' voice:

Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with Waiting for the bar to open. (Sir Fabulous)
Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with The Holy Bible. (Egos)
Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with The Virginia Tech Massacre. (Heffling)
Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with Never watching, discussing, or thinking about My Little Pony. (Cog)
Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas. (Cythraul )
Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with Like a million alligators. (Gizzy)

Cog

chamberlain wrote: »

From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,'

I totally glossed over it at the time, but this was a fine joke and deserves some recognition.

Elvenshae

Cog wrote: »

chamberlain wrote: »

From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,'

I totally glossed over it at the time, but this was a fine joke and deserves some recognition.

I agree, but I didn't gloss over it.

Cog

Elvenshae wrote: »

Cog wrote: »

chamberlain wrote: »

From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,'

I totally glossed over it at the time, but this was a fine joke and deserves some recognition.

I agree, but I didn't gloss over it.

Why does your Red 3 card cost 4 mana?

Elvenshae

Cog wrote: »

Elvenshae wrote: »

Cog wrote: »

chamberlain wrote: »

From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,'

I totally glossed over it at the time, but this was a fine joke and deserves some recognition.

I agree, but I didn't gloss over it.

Why does your Red 3 card cost 4 mana?

Because it's got wacky effects and a solid statline, so it'd be OP as only a 3-drop!

Egos

@Sir Fabulous we've exchanged places this game

Anialos

Here you go.

chamberlain

If there were judge points I would give Anialos like a million of them. CaH is a harsh mistress, though, so @Cythraul benefits from another's hard work.

@Anialos @Sir Fabulous @Egos @Heffling @Cog @Gizzy

After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _____ to the people of Haiti.

You aren't less generous than Sean Penn, are you? Are you??

chamberlain

@Cythraul How did Sean Penn top his interview with El Chapo?

After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought An oversized lollipop to the people of Haiti. (Gizzy)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought An unforgettable quinceanera to the people of Haiti. (Sir Fabulous)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought A peyote-fueled vision quest to the people of Haiti. (Cog )
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought The Ubermensch to the people of Haiti. (Heffling)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought Gloryholes to the people of Haiti. (Egos)
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought Lunchables to the people of Haiti. (Anialos)

Cog

I can absolutely visualize every single one of those things legitimately, really happening, and Sean Penn looking extremely fucking sanctimonious about it.

Cythraul

Agreed! The one that tickles my current fancy though is After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought A peyote-fueled vision quest to the people of Haiti

Cog

You chose.... wisely.

chamberlain

@Cog knows that Haiti is a real place but is certain that Sean Penn is nothing more than a hallucination. Maybe that means he will go away someday.

@Cythraul @Gizzy @Sir Fabulous @Heffling @Egos @Anialos

Your trip to the family zoo was going just fine until little Jimmy tugs on your arm.

What's wrong with these gorillas?

chamberlain

@Egos The power of Halloween compels you to send me your card.

chamberlain

I hope you had a fine Halloween weekend @Cog but now it is time to get back to business.

Monkey business.

What's wrong with these gorillas? The Y2K bug. (Heffling)
What's wrong with these gorillas? Don't you care choose any answer mentioning Harambe. (Sir Fabulous)
What's wrong with these gorillas? A fishy taste. (Egos )
What's wrong with these gorillas? Ethnic cleansing. (Anialos)
What's wrong with these gorillas? Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers. (Cythraul)
What's wrong with these gorillas? Men. (Gizzy)

Cog

I'm going to go with the one that grammatically and reasonably makes the most sense: A fishy taste.

Real talk: not our strongest round.

chamberlain

I blame myself, that wasn't a very good black card. But the gods of CaH resent having their random choices tampered with. @Egos did the best he could.

@Cog @Heffling @Sir Fabulous @Anialos @Cythraul @Gizzy

It's lunch time at the office and

I'm so hungry, I could eat _____.

chamberlain

Either @Anialos doesn't eat or he ate his card. Send me a fresh one.

chamberlain

Ring that dinner bell @Egos

I'm so hungry, I could eat A self-microwaving burrito. (Cog)
I'm so hungry, I could eat Father's forbidden chocolates. (Heffling )
I'm so hungry, I could eat Space muffins. (Gizzy)
I'm so hungry, I could eat The true meaning of Christmas. (Sir Fabulous)
I'm so hungry, I could eat Six pounds of raw, peeled garlic. (Anialos)
I'm so hungry, I could eat Cake farts. (Cythraul)

Egos

I like the narrative behind father's forbidden chocolates

Also thanks to this I now know what cake farts are......

Cog

Huh. I figured it was a euphemism. Nope.

chamberlain

I thought that father's forbidden chocolates was a euphemism as well. I am not going to google it, not matter what @Heffling says. He can keep the point.

Game note: I have noticed that some of you have a few shitty, shitty cards. In two rounds, we'll call it the end of the first quarter, I will allow you to dump whatever terribleness that you do not think you can use and get fresh awful things.

But for now @Egos @Cog @Gizzy @Sir Fabulous @Anialos @Cythraul do your worst with this:

Today on MythBusters, we found out how long _____ can withstand _____.

...so that's why the series finally ended.

chamberlain

@Heffling what was your favorite sweeps episode?

Today on MythBusters, we found out how long Smirnoff® the Wizard can withstand Another shot of morphine. (Egos)
Today on MythBusters, we found out how long The biggest, blackest dick can withstand Leprosy. (Sir Fabulous)
Today on MythBusters, we found out how long The Chinese gymnastics team can withstand Kinky fuckery. (Cog )
Today on MythBusters, we found out how long A mating display can withstand Fisting. (Gizzy)
Today on MythBusters, we found out how long A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else can withstand Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine. (Anialos)
Today on MythBusters, we found out how long Someone who isn't me can withstand Using a live squid as a condom. (Cythraul)

Heffling

I can totally imagine Adam Savage excitedly volunteering for this one:

Today on MythBusters, we found out how long The Chinese gymnastics team can withstand Kinky fuckery.

Cog

Smirnoff® the Wizard is one of my new favorite cards.

Elvenshae

I would've loved to see Grant's face when Jamie announced "Today on MythBusters, we found out how long Someone who isn't me can withstand Using a live squid as a condom."

Awesome round, y'all.

chamberlain

You know what too much kinky fuckery will get you, right @Cog ?

@Heffling @Egos @Sir Fabulous @Gizzy @Anialos @Cythraul

What will they carve on my tombstone?

...death by kinky fuckery. :winky:

chamberlain

@Cog when you die how do you want the public to remember you?

What will they carve on my tombstone? Sweater puppies. (Anialos)
What will they carve on my tombstone? www.clownpenis.fart (Gizzy )
What will they carve on my tombstone? Lactation. (Heffling)
What will they carve on my tombstone? Man meat. (Sir Fabulous)
What will they carve on my tombstone? The Klobb. (Cythraul)
What will they carve on my tombstone? Rock bottom. (Egos)

Cog

Space on my tombstone is for sale. www.clownpenis.fart is currently the only bidder.

Gizzy

Woo!