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I just did a poop so loud and horrible

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Posts

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Jars wrote: »
    it's the first thing my eyes come to while eating breakfast. I regret it every time

    Poop. There it is.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • wirehead26wirehead26 Registered User regular
    In the early days of the internet, I remember reading a review of the first Tomb Raider film that was only a picture of a lot of shit in a toilet.

    I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    Al_wat wrote: »
    You forgot the newfie accent

    Cause that sure as shit is its own thing

    Stays where ya to, my duckie

  • Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    Lord tunderin fuck bye

  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Al_wat wrote: »
    Lord tunderin fuck bye

    "Lord thundering, fuck boy"?
    Usagi wrote: »
    Al_wat wrote: »
    You forgot the newfie accent

    Cause that sure as shit is its own thing

    Stays where ya to, my duckie

    What?!?

    "Where are you staying, friend"?

  • UnknownUnknown
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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    I had a poop once in the 3rd grade that caused the toilet to explode 10 seconds after leaving the stall (it wasn't my fault)

    That was a fun first day at a new school

    this sounds like a confession... Wasn't your fault you say. Tell that to the judge at poop court.

    Take him away boys.

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    The Poople's Court

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  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Poop. There it is.
    Jedoc wrote: »
    The Poople's Court

    Jedoc, this is an intervention

    Please have a seat

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    You're not my real dad.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    I didn't get a chance to mention it yesterday, but my co-workers expressed concern about my poop.
    I'm the only man in my office, and we do have gender-separated bathrooms.
    They said they could hear me (!!!) and asked if I was ok.

    I'm hoping they just heard the flushes.

  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    I have a very rough form of IBS that sometimes means I will have very long and intense poops

    I was once at @Poorochondriac 's and one of those came on, and I was eventually subjected to heckling by Pooro and his friends

    In response, once I had done what was needed, I loaded up Spotify and walked out with my phone held high blaring the Rocky theme

  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    YaYa wrote: »
    I have a very rough form of IBS that sometimes means I will have very long and intense poops

    I was once at Poorochondriac 's and one of those came on, and I was eventually subjected to heckling by Pooro and his friends

    In response, once I had done what was needed, I loaded up Spotify and walked out with my phone held high blaring the Rocky theme

    I'm not saying this didn't happen

    But I have exactly zero memory of this

  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    I have a very rough form of IBS that sometimes means I will have very long and intense poops

    I was once at Poorochondriac 's and one of those came on, and I was eventually subjected to heckling by Pooro and his friends

    In response, once I had done what was needed, I loaded up Spotify and walked out with my phone held high blaring the Rocky theme

    I'm not saying this didn't happen

    But I have exactly zero memory of this

    you, Tony and Logan and I were pre-planning Play It As It Lies stuff

    Which is sort of inconsequential because it doesn't matter if you remember, that was my mountain to summit

  • bowenbowen Sup? Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    You're not my real dad.

    hey that's my shtick

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • HyperBalladHyperBallad A ball of vivid colour and barely contained emotions Sydney. Lost in time and space.Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    You're not my real dad.

    hey that's my shtick

    What's brown and schticky?!
    Poop. Always poop.

    Steam: poetic_gecko.
    2DS/3DS Friend code 0361-7385-2366
    Twitter: @PoeticGecko
  • smofsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I keep reading Pooro's name in this thread as Poopochondriac

  • smofsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I just got had to clean a colossal amount of cat shit out of my bathtub. It was an amount equal to approximately 3 adult humans worth of daily poop production. I cannot comprehend how that much poop came out of a cat. I haven't seen the cat in question since discovering the bathtub of horror and I can only assume that's because he shat himself out of existence.

  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    So awhile back, before we discovered that my wife has IBS, we just assumed she was having a tough few months with regards to her having to shit urgently, often, and without warning. So one night we get home from eating out and I go sit on the toilet to poop because I wanted to clear out some room for all the food I had just eaten. My wife ran into the bathroom shortly after and says to me, "I need to shit" and I told her I had just started but it won't be long. She left, but not even thirty seconds later she's back in there talking about how I need to hurry, she's gotta go, etc. I was pretty irritated so I told her to get the fuck out, I was nearly done, just let me pinch it off in peace, goddamn. She left but then maybe a minute later I hear her yell at me from the kitchen, "IT'S TOO LATE, I'M SHITTING IN THE TRASHCAN". I quickly finished and walked into the living room and she's dragging the trashcan behind her into the bathroom where she cleans up, then takes the trashcan into the computer room. I asked what she was doing and she angrily said, "The trashcan's already full of shit, I might as well empty the cat litter boxes in there too"

    lol

    JtgVX0H.png
  • webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    That is an amazing story. Your wife is a pragmatist of an exceptional level and I hope after an incident like that you waited on her hand and foot for the rest of the evening.

    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    Brovid Hasselsmof wrote: »
    I just got had to clean a colossal amount of cat shit out of my bathtub. It was an amount equal to approximately 3 adult humans worth of daily poop production. I cannot comprehend how that much poop came out of a cat. I haven't seen the cat in question since discovering the bathtub of horror and I can only assume that's because he shat himself out of existence.

    Have you considered that one of the other nearby cats has supplanted your house cat?

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    This thread has made me realize that I am apparently in the minority in not having pooping issues.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    webguy20 wrote: »
    That is an amazing story. Your wife is a pragmatist of an exceptional level and I hope after an incident like that you waited on her hand and foot for the rest of the evening.

    We had almost the exact same situation pop up a few months later and I pinched it off with the quickness and let her have the toilet. She swooned with adoration, and even made a post on Facebook about it.

    JtgVX0H.png
  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    I will say, those poops that take a good amount of consentration, but when they finally drop you get a rush. Those are pretty great but luckily rare.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    Man I love that high intensity tabata training means I can get bodyweight strength training exercise and cardio into a four and half minute sprint that only mildly feels like a nightmare torture invented by Hitler in hell.

    What I don't like is that what it does to my metabolism is making it so that every other day I basically shit the shit of a much larger man whose diet is made up of things the steakhouse challenges you to eat in under 20 minutes.

    Mwx884o.jpg
  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Oh my go, what did I eat?

    Just... what happened?

  • webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    PwnanObrien wrote: »
    Man I love that high intensity tabata training means I can get bodyweight strength training exercise and cardio into a four and half minute sprint that only mildly feels like a nightmare torture invented by Hitler in hell.

    What I don't like is that what it does to my metabolism is making it so that every other day I basically shit the shit of a much larger man whose diet is made up of things the steakhouse challenges you to eat in under 20 minutes.

    Eat more fiber, it will help!

    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    Alternatively: try an enema

  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    If I was going to paint with shit, I'd use someone else's name that I disliked to get them in trouble.

    "I think it says... crwth? What does that mean?"

    Maybe it was one of the other crwths?

  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Psykoma wrote: »
    Alternatively: try an enema

    Easier and cheaper, swallow a teaspoon of castor oil.

    Wait a couple of hours, if nothing has happened yet, swallow another teaspoon of castor oil but stay close to a toilet.

    Your insides are about to get empty.

  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco I wanna be an owl, Jerry! Owl York CityRegistered User regular
    I know someone who will drop the nastiest farts and before they really rise up will look around quizzically, gingerly sniff the air and ask "Does anyone smell french fries?"

  • bowenbowen Sup? Registered User regular
    Rear Admiral Choco wrote: »
    I know someone who will drop the nastiest farts and before they really rise up will look around quizzically, gingerly sniff the air and ask "Does anyone smell french fries?"

    How's satan doing this time of year?

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
This discussion has been closed.
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