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Oh, man, I fucked up. I got major chunks of her character mixed up with Miss Marple.
Sorry, Rorshach Kringle. Sorry, Jessica Fletcher.
He's a defense attorney who goes out and finds the real culprit!
what a strange shirt
Quick point of order! You've got Cop as a 3, but this only goes from 0 to negative 10. So this should (I'm assuming) be -3, giving her an overall score of 33. On the flipside, I'm not sure if you meant to give her an Effectiveness rating of 8, since it's out of 20 and not 10. If you meant 8/10 i.e. 16/20, you're looking at an overall score of 39.
okay yeah that's what i meant for sure
i don't read nothing
e: adjusting my score accordingly, i got j.b. fletch at 40
Idk, I'd give Columbo a -8 for being a cop at the most. He doesn't dress like a cop, he's never on time. He has no regard for appearing like police or treating people as a cop might. He drives with an expired license, and has seemingly no knowledge of road safety/laws in the episode where he has to get a driving test. I can't imagine he was good as a beat cop at all and was probably promoted just to get him out of his department.
Effectiveness: 18 Holy shit is he ever. He's a master of reading people and has an incredible eye for finding the relevance of even the tiniest physical clue. He gets 2 points off because there are times where he already knows what happened but strings things out just for the thrill of the hunt.
Compassionate: 4 Kind of like Monk. He's not a total recluse like Holmes, but he's definitely aloof and tends to approach most cases as a puzzle to be solved more than anything. He can read people, but doesn't have a ton of individual empathy.
Cop: -1 He'd generally prefer the cops to just get out of his way, and treats them more like servants than anything else. He might be friendly with some people on the force? But I get the impression that's mostly so they'll keep asking him to come do his thing. Edit: He does claim that he used to be a cop in Brussels, but his whole past is pretty shady so it's hard to say what he really got up to.
Flexibility: 9 Possibly his greatest asset. Not only can he solve any type of crime, he's pretty much ready to go at a moment's notice. In Murder on the Orient Express he's on the train by total chance when the murder happens, and immediately he's just like "okay yes let's get this shit." He also prides himself on basically thinking outside the box, letting his intuition guide him wherever things lead.
Entertainingness: 6 So I actually like Poirot a lot, but sometimes he comes off a little dry and maybe a little too perfect/all-knowing. The fact that he's always confident and in control is kind of dull at times.
Final score: 36. Feels about right for him. He should probably get some points for the mustache, so add at your discretion.
Also The Equalizer is sort of a detective, what about him? Talking about the original show, not the movie.
I'm eating dinner rn, but I will revisit this
But i do think it is important to note: Very low cop, despite working with police, because they are, at the same time, actively grifting money FROM the police.
If you expand to consider Doctors as TV Detectives, you'll likely get a fair number of 0s.
lucifer I guess?
holy fuck that show is disgusting!
It is horrific. Even for an American cop show it somehow manages to surprise with how much it celebrates brutality and corruption
Is it worse than Justified?
Serpico? Dude investigated cops and was likely killed by a cop. Refused to be part of the blue wall and didn't take kickbacks.
“Bake him away toys” out of ten
By the formula he is still a cop so is at least a -5.
I haven't seen it in forever, but I watched it a whooole bunch when it was new, so I'll give it a shot.
Effectiveness: 14 They do generally get the bad guy in the end, but the show features a whole lot of false trails and double-backs. Also, them not officially being cops and having an antagonistic relationship with Detective Lassiter means they can't always get access to useful info. This goes up 2-4 points in any episode where Gus's skills/knowledge are a major part of breaking the case.
Compassionate: 6 This one's kind of hard. A lot of the show's comedy relies on Shawn being a lovable butthead who's often pretty flippant and insensitive to the victims, but by the end he usually does show some amount of empathy. Still, a lot of his time is spent trying to get into the pants of whatever attractive woman is related to the case that week. This would probably be even lower if it weren't for Good Guy Gus doing his best to keep Shawn in line.
Cop: -4 (edit -3) Another tough one. Shawn specifically avoided becoming a cop because of his dad, and he very much enjoys being smarter than the cops he works with. Still, they both work with them regularly without issue, they're not above pretending to be cops when it suits them, and they happily cash their checks. Call them cop-adjacent.
Flexibility: 10 I think this is where they really shine. Every episode has at least one harebrained scheme, if not several. Silly fake names, ridiculous off-the-cuff cover stories, sudden flashes of inspiration, these guys live and thrive in the moment. I'd give them more points here if I could.
Entertainingness: 9 By the end of my time with the show, I was kind of getting tired of Shawn's superficial jerk persona. But he wasn't irredeemable, Gus was a really good counterpoint, and their friendship always felt really genuine. The rest of the supporting cast was also rock solid, so as an ensemble piece I think this is more than fair.
Final score: 35 (edit 36) This seems fair to me. If this were just a rating of Shawn it'd be a lot lower, but as a pair I think him and Gus make one very good detective.
Edit: I saw Dex's post after writing this, and that's a good point. But I think I'm only gonna knock one point off, because he still works closely with them and only isn't a cop himself because of daddy issues.
-15
Oh boy, I love that show as a piece of drama but that's another example of Cop Rating -infinity
justified at least had the decency to point out how shitty everybody is
chicago pd straight up celebrates it
doctor cox is the new mayor in an upcoming season, and is the bad guy because he wants to make the police stop violating peoples constitutional rights
it's fucking revolting
See, I love Justified. But I view it as a western rather than a police procedural.
That said. Yes. 100x worse
Justified was entertaining.
It is also perhaps the worst depiction of a detective/cop “gets things done” I have ever seen.
Not "shoved against a wall" Law & Order style
Like, full Jack Bauer
I mean.
That's what Raylan does basically five times an episode. He's beating the shit out of people until he gets his info.
On a scale from 1 to 10, John Munch's Flexibility is a 13 on account of he literally transcends TV shows
Prez?
Batman?
Jeremy Brett is scowling at you very sternly.