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ITT: Horrible Names

FortyTwoFortyTwo strongest man in the world The Land of Pleasant Living Registered User regular
edited May 2007 in Social Entropy++
SO, have you ever heard a name, read a name and you just want to shoot their parents for doing that to their poor child?

I teach, I have.

There is a girl named Precious at my school, Do her parents realize that she will be a stripper now?

But here is the best name I have seen in a long time: Fantasy writer for ESPN.com, ladies and gentlemen I give you:

Tristan H. Cockcroft

Seriously, how, why woudl you do that to your son? What horrible names have you guys encountered?


Fortytwo's blog about fatherhood, life, and everything.
FortyTwo on
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Posts

  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Shithead

    Kuribo's Shoe on
    xmassig2.gif
  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    the last car I bought, dead fucking serious the salesmans name was Micheal S. Hunt

    Weaver on
  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    My name is Brian. I hate people who spell it Bryan.

    Seriously. Y isn't even a real vowel.

    Ruckus on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    my last name

    surprisingly, I've never really caught any flack for it

    Abracadaniel on
  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    my last name

    surprisingly, I've never really caught any flack for it

    You did from me.

    GABBO GABBO GABBO on
  • iusehappymodiusehappymod Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Germaine Jackson named his son "Germagesty"

    iusehappymod on

    Hamlet will be Hamlet
    An ineffable tragedy of the human spirit that still resonates, even today.
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Manifest wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    my last name

    surprisingly, I've never really caught any flack for it

    You did from me.

    Yeah, but you did it out of love.

    Abracadaniel on
  • amtatmaamtatma Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    My real name is JimBob.

    I was Jack on the way to the hospital, then i think my parents did some drugs or something between there and naming me.

    amtatma on
    /shazam
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    I worked with a girl named Fantasy.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2007
    I went to school with Aaron Bever. His school bag just said A. Bever.

    The best part? His mom's name was Sharon Bever.


    Even better than that, there was another kid at my school, a dude with Down's Syndrome. Swear to god, the motherfucker's name was Thor Pudlik.

    Thor.

    Pudlik.

    And he had Down's Syndrome.

    That's three strikes right there.

    Also, I had a neighbor that went by Shag Nasty, as I mentioned yesterday.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • MonkeybombMonkeybomb Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    iusehappymod wrote: »
    Germaine Jackson named his son "Germagesty"

    See, now he's destined to be a pimp.

    Monkeybomb on
    Xbox Live Gamertag: Triplemonkeybom
    monkeysig-1.jpg
  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    I worked with a girl named Fantasy.

    At... at a skin bar?

    Ruckus on
  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Okay, this is going to seem like a lie, but as far as i know it is true. there was an old urban legend going around that there was a babysitter who had two dickhead parents whose last name was Whore (not an entirely uncommon name round these parts) who called there daughter Sunva, right.

    Now obviously no one really believed it was true, then i got a substitute teacher (a bit of a sham/chav/american equivalent), who introduced herself as Ms. Whore. When the old teacher came back (she's a bit clueless), somebody who had heard that this woman was the legendary Sunva Whore asked our old teacher if this was her name, she responded yes.

    Now i know this is the internet, so I could just be a some kinda lying type of guy. But that is the truth as i remember it

    FAQ on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2007
    Thor.

    Pudlik.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • RiotcowRiotcow Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Adolf Von Peenis

    Riotcow on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    FLINT BEEFSLAG

    Abracadaniel on
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Ruckus wrote: »
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    I worked with a girl named Fantasy.

    At... at a skin bar?

    No. At a call center for Columbia House.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • StarfuckStarfuck Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Shi Thead is a real name
    hahaha

    there is a little girl at my daughters school named precious
    my daughter says she is a little bitch

    Starfuck on
    jackfaces
    "If you're going to play tiddly winks, play it with man hole covers."
    - John McCallum
  • ouzaruouzaru RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    Thor.

    Pudlik.

    ouzaru on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2007
    also, I once read about a lady who named her twin daughters Lemonjelo and Oranjelo.

    Pronounced Leh-mahn-juh-low and Or-ahn-juh-low.

    But fuck you lady, you're fat and named them after gelatin snacks.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    Ruckus wrote: »
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    I worked with a girl named Fantasy.

    At... at a skin bar?

    No. At a call center for Columbia House.

    Oh. Is it strange that I now have less respect for her?

    Ruckus on
  • HarrierHarrier The Star Spangled Man Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    KAL-EL

    THANKS FOR THAT NICHOLAS CAGE

    Harrier on
    I don't wanna kill anybody. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from.
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Ruckus wrote: »
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    Ruckus wrote: »
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    I worked with a girl named Fantasy.

    At... at a skin bar?

    No. At a call center for Columbia House.

    Oh. Is it strange that I now have less respect for her?

    Not at all.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2007
    sarukun wrote: »
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    Thor.

    Pudlik.

    Scout's fucking honor, too.

    I could show you my school yearbook.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited May 2007
    I knew a girl called Sarah Hitcock.

    Not even kidding.

    Think about it.

    Tube on
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Didn't one of the guys from Korn name their son Pirate?

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • iusehappymodiusehappymod Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    There was a baseball player named "Chubby Cox"

    I mean. He was probably gay.

    iusehappymod on

    Hamlet will be Hamlet
    An ineffable tragedy of the human spirit that still resonates, even today.
  • BijlBijl Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Roderick Dietrich Alfonso Wolfgang Mitchell Patricia Kimberley Aad Fons

    Bijl on
  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    Thor.

    Pudlik.

    Scout's fucking honor, too.

    I could show you my school yearbook.

    Scan. Upload. Poast.

    Ruckus on
  • J. GrantJ. Grant Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    I knew a girl once whose christian birthname, no fucking around, was Candi Van Horne.

    Perhaps not so shockingly, she became a stripper.

    J. Grant on
    FAILURE TO FIRE - TWO LUMPS - MANUEL THE WONDER SNAIL
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2007
    Ruckus wrote: »
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    Thor.

    Pudlik.

    Scout's fucking honor, too.

    I could show you my school yearbook.

    Scan. Upload. Poast.

    I'll look around when I go home for lunch.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • MonkeybombMonkeybomb Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    When I was in ROTC there was this kid named Patrick Swackhammer.

    Now that guy.

    Let me tell you about him.

    After graduation when we both got sent to the same base for training, he yelled at some enlisted kid outside a sports bar because he was carrying around a guitar. There's nothing that says you can't carry a fucking guitar if you want.

    He also did the "AHEM!" thing when the people at the next table to us were talking kind of loudly. In a fucking sports bar.

    I wonder what happened to that dick.

    Monkeybomb on
    Xbox Live Gamertag: Triplemonkeybom
    monkeysig-1.jpg
  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    J. Grant wrote: »
    I knew a girl once whose christian birthname, no fucking around, was Candi Van Horne.

    Perhaps not so shockingly, she became a stripper.

    She really didn't have any other options

    FAQ on
  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    In my unit at Ft. Campbel we had two NCOs with unfortunate last names. Ones was Major, the other was Sergeant.

    Sergeant Major, Sergeant Sergeant

    Also in Korea We had a Sergeant First-Class Cox, PVT Winterbottom and PV2 Swallows. They all got assigned to the same barracks room. The door plate listed their names as such

    PVT Winterbottom
    PV2 Swallows
    SFC Cox

    Weaver on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    When I was studying to be a missionary many moons ago, I had a classmate from the south whose name is Candy Cotton. She was so stereotypically gentrified southern white that it hurt to be around her. She meant well but she was a fucking airhead.

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • ch|och|o Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    email.jpg

    yeah, his name is Email.

    ch|o on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Deichmann

    Sheri on
    lE6sj.jpg
    Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Weaver wrote: »
    In my unit at Ft. Campbel we had two NCOs with unfortunate last names. Ones was Major, the other was Sergeant.

    Sergeant Major, Sergeant Sergeant

    Also in Korea We had a Sergeant First-Class Cox, PVT Winterbottom and PV2 Swallows. They all got assigned to the same barracks room. The door plate listed their names as such

    PVT Winterbottom
    PV2 Swallows
    SFC Cox
    Shit, that's fucking rad (not for them of course).

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    there was a couple in England who were prevented from naming there child Playstation 2 by some kind of English judge

    FAQ on
  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Druhim wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    In my unit at Ft. Campbel we had two NCOs with unfortunate last names. Ones was Major, the other was Sergeant.

    Sergeant Major, Sergeant Sergeant

    Also in Korea We had a Sergeant First-Class Cox, PVT Winterbottom and PV2 Swallows. They all got assigned to the same barracks room. The door plate listed their names as such

    PVT Winterbottom
    PV2 Swallows
    SFC Cox
    Shit, that's fucking rad (not for them of course).

    Oh, you know that didn't happen by chance. Whoever was in charge of assigning quarters did that on purpose.

    Ruckus on
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