I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright

19495969798100»

Posts

  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    My wife's ex therapist was absolutely fascinated that I chose to look after our son when I wasn't at work.....

  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2023
    Looking after our son is my work. He's currently finding out that something called "WSDOT" exists, and looking at their traffic cameras and maps. Current special interest and all that.

    He's also talking a lot more. And singing! It only took him 6 years! For the talking and the singing. He was too busy trying to figure out how the dishwasher was loaded, how locks worked, and how to count to 1,000 or more before that (as a few examples).

    Kalnaur on
    I make art things! deviantART: Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    When the kid first was born in think I think in played through Witcher 3 on the switch. That way I could play right next to her in case anything went wrong I could just redummy her or pick her up.

    Then I just flat out stopped I think. Because between teaching and parenting I was too wiped to play games. It was only when I had a week off from covid I started paying games again.

  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    I played several seasons of Bloodbowl 2 with the first one. Oh and persona five.

    The second one... Not anything cause the first was around.

    I just beat Elden Ring, 160 hours in and I think I killed every boss. Been playing it since release.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    edited January 2023
    I think you can be a traditionally masculine male and not a douchebag idiot if you want, the two don't have to go hand in hand. I've never heard a good explanation for how it's inherently more masculine to be a helpless goober who expects a woman to take care of his every need but also be subservient to him, that's the weakest thing I've ever heard.

    Peen on
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Wife's consultant has given us the go ahead to have another round of IVF this summer so we can hopefully have our second child.

    Unfortunately he's said this is our only shot. If the IVF fails that's it.

    He's concerned about the returning endometriosis and adenomyosis and wants to begin treatment asap.

    The treatments he wants to do will damage her ability to carry children but should halt the growths. She'll then need some form of hormonal contraceptives which can suppress the endometriosis and adenomyosis.

    I really really hope it works. I worry about my wife's mental health if it doesn't.

    We've agreed we'll look in to adoption if it all else fails (we might still do this even if the IVF is successful).

  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    .
    Peen wrote: »
    I think you can be a traditionally masculine male and not a douchebag idiot if you want, the two don't have to go hand in hand. I've never heard a good explanation for how it's inherently more masculine to be a helpless goober who expects a woman to take care of his every need but also be subservient to him, that's the weakest thing I've ever heard.

    Oh you've met my FIL?

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Peen wrote: »
    I think you can be a traditionally masculine male and not a douchebag idiot if you want, the two don't have to go hand in hand. I've never heard a good explanation for how it's inherently more masculine to be a helpless goober who expects a woman to take care of his every need but also be subservient to him, that's the weakest thing I've ever heard.

    I always laugh at the new wave of "manly" baby products. Like man, I'm changing diapers and dadding it up here, I don't give a fuck what colors I have on.
    It was crazy when I was in our ENT's office and my son pooped his pants in diapers and the old doc said "do you need to go home or call your wife?" and I'm like "give me 2 minutes". He had something like 5 kids and had never changed a diaper. Just how?

  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    Peen wrote: »
    I think you can be a traditionally masculine male and not a douchebag idiot if you want, the two don't have to go hand in hand. I've never heard a good explanation for how it's inherently more masculine to be a helpless goober who expects a woman to take care of his every need but also be subservient to him, that's the weakest thing I've ever heard.

    I always laugh at the new wave of "manly" baby products. Like man, I'm changing diapers and dadding it up here, I don't give a fuck what colors I have on.
    It was crazy when I was in our ENT's office and my son pooped his pants in diapers and the old doc said "do you need to go home or call your wife?" and I'm like "give me 2 minutes". He had something like 5 kids and had never changed a diaper. Just how?

    At the same time though, colour of nappy bags is also important for some women as well, I just think it’s fuckin stupid that the only acceptable colour for men is camouflage.

  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    I bought a Dad styled diaper bag for two reasons

    1. It has a useful layout of smaller zipper pockets within the largest section for all your little stuff. Other bags I found were not nearly as organized.
    2. It's all black and on the side is DAD in all capital white letters and it makes me laugh.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    I’m assuming baby bags for men are identical to baby bags for women except that the pockets are bigger and deeper.

    Need a voice actor? Hire me at bengrayVO.com
    Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
    Switch ID: MNC Dover SW-1154-3107-1051
    Steam ID
    Twitch Page
  • ThroThro pgroome@penny-arcade.com Registered User regular
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    I bought a Dad styled diaper bag for two reasons

    1. It has a useful layout of smaller zipper pockets within the largest section for all your little stuff. Other bags I found were not nearly as organized.
    2. It's all black and on the side is DAD in all capital white letters and it makes me laugh.
    We had a Diaper Dude bag, I think gifted to us. Was a pretty good bag with useful sized pockets etc. I hadn't really noticed anyone rocking anything camo or extra man style so I looked it up.

    https://www.amazon.com/Dad-Diaper-Bag-Molle-Style-Waterproof/dp/B098861NYT/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=Dad+Diaper+Bag&qid=1673356053&sr=8-5
    Apparently since my kids have left diapers the industry went full tacti-cool and all the way back around to ironic manliness. I had no idea.
    I cannot get over that bottle patch. I wonder if there's also a Punisher logo with a pacifier.
    (Also that easy access wipes magnet flap seems pretty legit not gonna lie.)

  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    schuss wrote: »
    Peen wrote: »
    I think you can be a traditionally masculine male and not a douchebag idiot if you want, the two don't have to go hand in hand. I've never heard a good explanation for how it's inherently more masculine to be a helpless goober who expects a woman to take care of his every need but also be subservient to him, that's the weakest thing I've ever heard.

    I always laugh at the new wave of "manly" baby products. Like man, I'm changing diapers and dadding it up here, I don't give a fuck what colors I have on.
    It was crazy when I was in our ENT's office and my son pooped his pants in diapers and the old doc said "do you need to go home or call your wife?" and I'm like "give me 2 minutes". He had something like 5 kids and had never changed a diaper. Just how?

    At the same time though, colour of nappy bags is also important for some women as well, I just think it’s fuckin stupid that the only acceptable colour for men is camouflage.

    Oh, there should absolutely be variety, but I know before this whole new trend I had no issues finding high functioning bags in various colors and styles. I got one in a messenger style with leather/canvas that's largely indistinguishable from a standard messenger bag.
    It's more the tacticool stuff with obnoxious marketing to match that's dumb.

  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    .
    Peen wrote: »
    I think you can be a traditionally masculine male and not a douchebag idiot if you want, the two don't have to go hand in hand. I've never heard a good explanation for how it's inherently more masculine to be a helpless goober who expects a woman to take care of his every need but also be subservient to him, that's the weakest thing I've ever heard.

    Oh you've met my FIL?

    Ooh speaking of helpless goobers, ever since his wife died he's had no one to make him his meals. So my wife and her sisters all take turns delivering a meal every night of the week. When it's our turn I'm the one doing the cooking. If my wife does it he complains, but he always has compliments for my cooking. We actually tried giving him my meal but saying my wife cooked it and he still complained and vice versa. Can you imagine an 80 year old negging his daughters? I bet you can!

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    It's pretty upsetting to realize how much of a revolution in parenting the idea of "just be nice to your kids" was and is and how much my parents' generation got fucked up by their parents, which in a lot of cases they passed to us, and I really hope we're stopping a lot of that awful behavior so that our kids start out with the empathy and emotional intelligence that we wish the Boomers had.

  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    edited January 2023
    My parents are from '56 and '58 and were pretty on board with playing with me and listening to what I thought of something. My dad did mentally check out when I hit puberty. He just had no interest in my hormonal sadness, I think he was just constantly disappointed I wasn't a cool guy.

    So like, if we can avoid mentally checking out when our children disappoint us or if we got our own midlife crises to be sad about... Then we're hopefully breaking the pattern completely.

    Aldo on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    My father explicitly told my mother that he didn't take care of infants or young toddlers. He would only get interested and involved once the kids were 3.

    He's spent my entire life thinking that making money and buying things is the same as time and effort and love and attention. He cannot comprehend that there might need to be more to a familial relationship than just working and buying things.

    He has no concept of quality time, unless it came as part of a thing he spent money on (going on vacations to Disney/Scotland were fine because they cost money. Going to the local beach or park was a waste of time he could be using to make money).

    Now he's in his late 60s and all alone because my mom passed away, and he spent his entire adult life working and not making or having any friends. All he has is my brother, whom my father thinks is a huge disappointment and useless, and a dog. And my father is losing me because of his attitudes.


    So yeah

    In comparison

    Our generation is doing much much better (broad brush)

  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    My own family, generationally speaking, is improving by leaps and bounds.

    My dad was your standard issued 'My job is too work and earn money. Nothing else.' kind of dude.

    He worked hard, provided materially for us, retired, and then just watches cable news all day.

    I've never had an actual conversation with the guy. Probably no more than twenty words a day.

    That's basically his entire life. Had two sons who by any metric have done much better than he ever did, then just decided to coast towards his death.

    I've made my peace with his decisions in part because my job taught me very early on that you can't save people from themselves, but it is absolutely wild to watch in real time.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Aldo wrote: »
    My parents are from '56 and '58 and were pretty on board with playing with me and listening to what I thought of something. My dad did mentally check out when I hit puberty. He just had no interest in my hormonal sadness, I think he was just constantly disappointed I wasn't a cool guy.

    This isn’t on you at all but it is pretty fucken ridiculous that a grown arse man can reconcile his relationship with his son because he isn’t cool enough for a bunch of other sad teenagers.

  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    In lighter discussion, we bought that memory card flip game for fun and my five year old just whooped my ass in three consecutive games.

    To my knowledge she has never played before.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    My own family, generationally speaking, is improving by leaps and bounds.

    My dad was your standard issued 'My job is too work and earn money. Nothing else.' kind of dude.

    He worked hard, provided materially for us, retired, and then just watches cable news all day.

    I've never had an actual conversation with the guy. Probably no more than twenty words a day.

    That's basically his entire life. Had two sons who by any metric have done much better than he ever did, then just decided to coast towards his death.

    I've made my peace with his decisions in part because my job taught me very early on that you can't save people from themselves, but it is absolutely wild to watch in real time.

    My dad was kinda like this. We talked occasionally, but it wasn't frequent.

    I keep getting the feeling that I need to cut my parents out of my life and it kills me inside. Their thoughts on way too many things are just awful. They're not nearby so I don't worry a ton about them influencing my daughter, but also they're not helping with the way they talk sometimes.

    I think a lot about it and it hurts.

  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    My own family, generationally speaking, is improving by leaps and bounds.

    My dad was your standard issued 'My job is too work and earn money. Nothing else.' kind of dude.

    He worked hard, provided materially for us, retired, and then just watches cable news all day.

    I've never had an actual conversation with the guy. Probably no more than twenty words a day.

    That's basically his entire life. Had two sons who by any metric have done much better than he ever did, then just decided to coast towards his death.

    I've made my peace with his decisions in part because my job taught me very early on that you can't save people from themselves, but it is absolutely wild to watch in real time.

    My dad was kinda like this. We talked occasionally, but it wasn't frequent.

    I keep getting the feeling that I need to cut my parents out of my life and it kills me inside. Their thoughts on way too many things are just awful. They're not nearby so I don't worry a ton about them influencing my daughter, but also they're not helping with the way they talk sometimes.

    I think a lot about it and it hurts.

    Fistbummmmpppp


    The pain of thinking that I need to also remove my father, thereby cutting off my child's only vaguely involved grandparent, it's very painful.

  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    edited January 2023
    My wife told her mum two days ago that we'd like her family to come to England from Ireland for our son's 4th birthday in May.

    She has spent the last two days already coming up with excuses why they can't go. She also said that we should go to Ireland instead.

    No one from her family (aside from her Dad who works in England) has visited us in three years. She has two brothers, a sister and two nephews in Ireland.

    I'm pretty certain my mother in law is the main reason my wife suffered postnatal depression.

    It's exhausting that we can't rely on them for anything and we're at a point where can't mention anything to my son about them coming for his birthday because we can't rely on them.

    SharpyVII on
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Oh, and as the partner in the hospital it can feel weird to just
    My father explicitly told my mother that he didn't take care of infants or young toddlers. He would only get interested and involved once the kids were 3.

    He's spent my entire life thinking that making money and buying things is the same as time and effort and love and attention. He cannot comprehend that there might need to be more to a familial relationship than just working and buying things.

    He has no concept of quality time, unless it came as part of a thing he spent money on (going on vacations to Disney/Scotland were fine because they cost money. Going to the local beach or park was a waste of time he could be using to make money).

    Now he's in his late 60s and all alone because my mom passed away, and he spent his entire adult life working and not making or having any friends. All he has is my brother, whom my father thinks is a huge disappointment and useless, and a dog. And my father is losing me because of his attitudes.


    So yeah

    In comparison

    Our generation is doing much much better (broad brush)

    The Don Draper approach to family life

  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    I have a put 3 sets of the Dungeon Tiles packs that were made for DND4e and a handful of the blind box minis.

    They're just sitting on my shelf collecting dust. Most of the tile packs have never been used. In my head.i know that just giving them to the library to use for their kids TTRPG program would be best, but my hoarding heart is having trouble letting them go.

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




  • Kane Red RobeKane Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    It would be cool if Dore would stop immediately crawling to the bathroom to play with Lore's potty...

  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    Took my boys up to their great-grandfather's 96th birthday. Left my wife at home to rest and recover after a couple days long travel back from the summer holiday house my parents rented up North. She basically has covid-induced chronic fatigue, so needs a few days to lie down and do nothing even after something so strenuous as 'sitting in a car someone else is driving for 10 hours with kids in the back'.

    So we left her alone to do nothing but lie down while we went to smalltalk my family ("How's it going/I haven't seen you in ages/How's [family member/work/school]?").

    However, her rest was disturbed by the sound of panicked child screaming from a neighbouring yard. Although lying down, she got up to see the air above our adjoining backyards thick with a swarm of hundreds of angry wasps.

    Wearing only her pyjamas, she slammed our backdoors shut (we leave these open in summer) and ran out the side entrance to start hunting through the swarm for a terrified child. The neighbour kids are roughly the same age as our boys, so we know most of the children, even if we can be a bit vague on the parents.

    Anyway, my wife was in full on momma bear even though she's completely wiped. Her legs literally gave out on her and she grazed both knees on the drive as she tried to run up the driveway, but her lungs and legs weren't equipped for that. Instead she had to walk through the swarm (they were mostly a couple meters up, probably thanks to the higher fences we've put up last year).

    She found the neighbour kid who had riden home on his bike to his mother's during dad's custody weekend when the mum wasn't home (no judgement). There's been no explanation for the wasps, but with the house locked she brought him back in our house and called the mum. Unfortunately, you know, it was very clear that visitation was being enforced and resolution required going back out into the swarm and retrieving the bicycle, but once you got to the front of the property you were clear of the swarm so it was mostly a case of getting the kid back to the street and able to pedal back off towards the father's.

    Anyway, that's how my wife broke her enforced rest, wounded both her legs and bare feet running while covid-fatigued, and rescued a kid from a swarm of wasps on a day when her peak activity was supposed to be moving between the bed and the sofa.

    But sometimes a momma bear is gonna momma bear, no matter whose kid it is.

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    Tiny Wonder (who is four months shy of five) was strangely already "awake" when I went into his and his brother's room this morning. As I go to pick out his clothes in the dark, he rolls over and grumpily says:


    TW: Ugggh...are you here to make me get up again?!

    Me: Well yeah, little buddy...you know that's what we do during the week

    TW: (Angrily grabbing water bottle and stuffy as he throws the covers and stomps out of room) You always do this to me...you always make me get up and go to school when I. Just. Want. (On the edge of angry tears, now) To sleep!"


    My other two boys somehow bounce out of bed ready to face each day like fresh spring chickens (and I don't understand it at all), but yup, Tiny Wonder's definitely my child - opening his eyes to a brand new sunrise, and finding it wanting

  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    Best to refine that strong energy now, the sooner you get used to the feeling of "ugh what's this now, another day, fuck, didn't we just have one of those" the better prepared you are for adult life.

  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    Y'know there should be an exercise class that involves bending over double and waving your arms around, a.k.a. helping your kids build a snowman; it's really exhausting work.

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited January 2023
    Peen wrote: »
    Best to refine that strong energy now, the sooner you get used to the feeling of "ugh what's this now, another day, fuck, didn't we just have one of those" the better prepared you are for adult life.

    My partner's response to our rough morning was "So he's four-going-on-forty; that sounds about right"

    mrpaku on
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    The worst part of the morning is that my son mirrors and amplifies energy. And responds extraordinarily poorly to negative or business-like energy in the morning.
    I am not a morning person by any means. But if I act tired or have a hint of crankiness, my son will start a negative spiral. And that can literally last all day, and cause many issues in school, etc. So I have to act happy and awake to rev up his morning in an exceedingly good way. He does not believe me when I say mornings are hard on me, too, and does nothing but act cranky until he's mostly awake. But if I keep it up, he becomes cheerful and cooperative.

    I hate waking up sooo much, and I can't even be cranky about it.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    mrpaku wrote: »
    Tiny Wonder (who is four months shy of five) was strangely already "awake" when I went into his and his brother's room this morning. As I go to pick out his clothes in the dark, he rolls over and grumpily says:


    TW: Ugggh...are you here to make me get up again?!

    Me: Well yeah, little buddy...you know that's what we do during the week

    TW: (Angrily grabbing water bottle and stuffy as he throws the covers and stomps out of room) You always do this to me...you always make me get up and go to school when I. Just. Want. (On the edge of angry tears, now) To sleep!"


    My other two boys somehow bounce out of bed ready to face each day like fresh spring chickens (and I don't understand it at all), but yup, Tiny Wonder's definitely my child - opening his eyes to a brand new sunrise, and finding it wanting

    Mine refused to get out of the crib this morning, and after some negotiation and being hoisted over, toddled over to his area rug, plopped face down and said "Wanna sleep on the carpet." and same, buddy, same.

  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    edited January 2023
    EDIT: Whoops, old thread.

    Fishman on
    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
Sign In or Register to comment.