Star Trek the motion picture is Gene Roddenberry on a pretty good amount of cocaine doing whatever the fuck he wanted with studio money, and it is very clear from the word “go” that that is exactly what it’s going to be for roughly three hours.
It has moments, and most of them a suitably bonkers/incomprehensible.
Well, Star Trek TMP is also responding pretty hard to 2001.
I tried to watch Star Trek: The Motion Picture last night, and look, I knew it had a reputation of being a very boring movie, but I'd sort of arranged that in my head as, "ah, people say the sci-fi movie is boring because it has ideas, I bet it's fine." Folks, it is not fine, it is extremely boring. I'd forgotten that it got that reputation from Star Trek fans and if those motherfuckers think something is boring, someone that's a more casual fan of the franchise is going to have an extremely bad time.
The pacing is extremely bad, hardly anyone is allowed to emote at all, the movie is obsessed with showing you a fucking screen with a proto-screen saver on it, there's like a fifteen minute sequence of William Shatner taking a shuttle to the Enterprise while nobody says a fucking word, and nobody directed Shatner to do anything so he just stares sort of blankly at nothing, because he's on a set. That's sort of his default for the whole movie, kind of staring off blankly in what I assume is meant to be awe. Nothing happens for like, an hour and a half except for some really poorly rendered ship malfunctions. It's bad! I can't believe that they got to make more Star Trek movies after that, and that the sequel that had a ton of budget cuts looks about a thousand times more interesting
you shut your fuckin mouth about the spacedock scene
it fucking sucks, Star Trek '09 accomplishes exactly what that scene is trying to accomplish in about 5% of the time
I can imagine that the drydock scene was far more impactful after a 10 year drought since cancellation of the original series, with the iconic Jerry Goldsmith theme being icing on the cake. It was pretty much a fanservice victory lap
Marty: The future, it's where you're going? Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
Also: the cardinal sin of Star Trek: TMP is that it takes a bunch of characters with distinct personalities and subsequently buries them under piles of space jargon and boring philosophy with the worst pacing of anything I've ever seen. The only person who comes through that movie with any personality at all is DeForest Kelley, and even then you get the impression that the director tried to tamp that down wherever he could. Shit, it'd be one thing if the movie had a big philosophical idea it wanted to explore, but it sure fucking didn't.
+1
Olivawgood name, isn't it?the foot of mt fujiRegistered Userregular
I think the central idea of Star Trek: The Motion Picture is “hey aren’t these special effects baller”
It feels like the sort of movie that watched 2001 and took every wrong lesson from it
That being said I don’t find it completely offensive, it’s a good movie for falling asleep or doing chores
Star Trek the motion picture is Gene Roddenberry on a pretty good amount of cocaine doing whatever the fuck he wanted with studio money, and it is very clear from the word “go” that that is exactly what it’s going to be for roughly three hours.
It has moments, and most of them a suitably bonkers/incomprehensible.
Well, Star Trek TMP is also responding pretty hard to 2001.
That is very, extremely true, but Gene Roddenberry is no Stanley Kubrick, God bless ‘im.
Also: the cardinal sin of Star Trek: TMP is that it takes a bunch of characters with distinct personalities and subsequently buries them under piles of space jargon and boring philosophy with the worst pacing of anything I've ever seen. The only person who comes through that movie with any personality at all is DeForest Kelley, and even then you get the impression that the director tried to tamp that down wherever he could. Shit, it'd be one thing if the movie had a big philosophical idea it wanted to explore, but it sure fucking didn't.
Can I assume you didn't watch the version with the overture? To be clear this is an about 10 minute sequence before the movie proper starts with a blank screen and just music. "We should have an Overture" really sums up the entire ethos of this movie.
Also: the cardinal sin of Star Trek: TMP is that it takes a bunch of characters with distinct personalities and subsequently buries them under piles of space jargon and boring philosophy with the worst pacing of anything I've ever seen. The only person who comes through that movie with any personality at all is DeForest Kelley, and even then you get the impression that the director tried to tamp that down wherever he could. Shit, it'd be one thing if the movie had a big philosophical idea it wanted to explore, but it sure fucking didn't.
Can I assume you didn't watch the version with the overture? To be clear this is an about 10 minute sequence before the movie proper starts with a blank screen and just music. "We should have an Overture" really sums up the entire ethos of this movie.
no, it's the one that started with ten minutes of a starfield that made me think the movie was broken
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm like 99% sure that isn't real.
My understanding is it's always been the the "Gallant People of Afghanistan" , but also it's still funny.
I feel like I'm missing context because like, yes everyone should be aware that this thing is fake, but the point is that Rambo 3 is... well, it has a certain point of view.
It's Rambo re-fighting Vietnam but this time he is on the side of the freedom fighters and it never really acknowledges it's implicitly saying that the US was the bad guy in Vietnam. Further the government that Rambo is fighting for in 3 is explicitly the Mujahideen whether the caption mentions them or not.
I admit I've never seen rambo 3 but I always thought it was no deeper then COMMUNISM BAD!
It’s basically that yeah. Russia are the bad guys, and anyone fighting them is the good guys. In 3 it’s just about rebels, the underdog, against the big bad Russian empire. wasn’t any deeper than that, which was basically the American mindset writ large regarding Afghanistan, if they even knew about it at the time. Invaded Vs invaders
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm like 99% sure that isn't real.
My understanding is it's always been the the "Gallant People of Afghanistan" , but also it's still funny.
I feel like I'm missing context because like, yes everyone should be aware that this thing is fake, but the point is that Rambo 3 is... well, it has a certain point of view.
It's Rambo re-fighting Vietnam but this time he is on the side of the freedom fighters and it never really acknowledges it's implicitly saying that the US was the bad guy in Vietnam. Further the government that Rambo is fighting for in 3 is explicitly the Mujahideen whether the caption mentions them or not.
I admit I've never seen rambo 3 but I always thought it was no deeper then COMMUNISM BAD!
There is a character who says "We had our Vietnam now you're going to have yours". They very much make the comparison. The fact that everyone working on this movie was brain poisoned enough not to notice what the movie is saying doesn't stop if from saying it.
Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
My dad tells the story of being at Star Trek TMP on release night. The moment at the space dock where the shuttle rounds the end, the music swells and you see the Enterprise full on for the first time had most of the packed theater cheering.
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Slotherhouse time! I mentioned it to my wife and her biggest point was about how she doesn’t think it would be easy to have a sloth as a pet because it’s an exotic animal.
She didn’t specify but I guess the rest of the movie seems believable to her
0
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Spoiler alert
There is a sloth in this movie
+6
reVerseAttack and Dethrone GodRegistered Userregular
Is it a real sloth, or a CGI sloth?
0
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Sloth used to love Chunk. Over time their relationship deteriorated a bit so now Sloth only tolerated Chunk.
Data on Chunk’s feelings towards Sloth are unknown at this time.
Data only likes his own slick shoes.
That's not true, Data loves Spot.
Spot loves Feline Supplement 53 but stopped eating it to spite Data.
DanHibiki on
+7
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
That was pretty good. I know I’m probably desensitized to “stupid” in movies these days but I felt like it could have gone a little MORE outrageous than it did.
Some people will watch this and think it’s one of the most ridiculous movies they’ve ever seen. Just depends on where you start yourself on that spectrum.
+2
cj iwakuraThe Rhythm RegentBears The Name FreedomRegistered Userregular
Honestly sloths can look pretty horrifying, their body proportions and eyes that reflect moonlight in camera shots, as well as damp hair, basically you got yourself an uncanny valley alien demon. They also move like they’re stop motion
Edit: Jesus they’re both cute and terrifying depending on the angle, I can’t stop looking up sloth videos. If these fuckers could move fast they’d be the most terrifying thing on earth https://youtu.be/2zhpufyZjfo?si=OuN_rLpylEdRTCn-
How does something alive look like it’s a puppet made of its own taxidermied corpse
Prohass on
+4
cj iwakuraThe Rhythm RegentBears The Name FreedomRegistered Userregular
Not to mention when they're running the DMV.
+10
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
So now I’m watching
Dug Up(2013)
“Chaos takes over a rural town after a trio of residents accidentally conjure a zombie outbreak”
It’s really dumb but I’m enjoying it! The characters are all pretty extreme white trash stereotypes but…that’s fine with me.
“Chaos takes over a rural town after a trio of residents accidentally conjure a zombie outbreak”
It’s really dumb but I’m enjoying it! The characters are all pretty extreme white trash stereotypes but…that’s fine with me.
Along those (very broad) lines, there's also Boys from County Hell from a few years ago, where some Irish guys fuck around with Abhartach's grave and people start getting their blood drained 'cause, surprise, don't let a vampire out, duh.
It's kinda fun.
This post was sponsored by Tom Cruise.
+1
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Right now I’m doing a Hell House 1-3 rewatch so I’m prepped for the new one.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm like 99% sure that isn't real.
My understanding is it's always been the the "Gallant People of Afghanistan" , but also it's still funny.
I feel like I'm missing context because like, yes everyone should be aware that this thing is fake, but the point is that Rambo 3 is... well, it has a certain point of view.
It's Rambo re-fighting Vietnam but this time he is on the side of the freedom fighters and it never really acknowledges it's implicitly saying that the US was the bad guy in Vietnam. Further the government that Rambo is fighting for in 3 is explicitly the Mujahideen whether the caption mentions them or not.
I admit I've never seen rambo 3 but I always thought it was no deeper then COMMUNISM BAD!
There is a character who says "We had our Vietnam now you're going to have yours". They very much make the comparison. The fact that everyone working on this movie was brain poisoned enough not to notice what the movie is saying doesn't stop if from saying it.
That was literally the US government goal in arming the mujahedin. They wanted to force the Soviet Union to intervene in a military quagmire. The mujahedin were always as bad as when American forces went there post-9/11, but because they were fighting Soviet forces we had literal Senators going there to glad hand and talk about what great guys they were.
If not for the United States and other foreign powers funneling billions of dollars to arm and support the insurgents, Afghanistan (never mind the rest of the world) would be in a much better place right now.
And that's why the photoshop is so resonant. Despite being a manufactured lie, it reflects an underlying truth.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm like 99% sure that isn't real.
My understanding is it's always been the the "Gallant People of Afghanistan" , but also it's still funny.
I feel like I'm missing context because like, yes everyone should be aware that this thing is fake, but the point is that Rambo 3 is... well, it has a certain point of view.
It's Rambo re-fighting Vietnam but this time he is on the side of the freedom fighters and it never really acknowledges it's implicitly saying that the US was the bad guy in Vietnam. Further the government that Rambo is fighting for in 3 is explicitly the Mujahideen whether the caption mentions them or not.
I admit I've never seen rambo 3 but I always thought it was no deeper then COMMUNISM BAD!
There is a character who says "We had our Vietnam now you're going to have yours". They very much make the comparison. The fact that everyone working on this movie was brain poisoned enough not to notice what the movie is saying doesn't stop if from saying it.
That was literally the US government goal in arming the mujahedin. They wanted to force the Soviet Union to intervene in a military quagmire. The mujahedin were always as bad as when American forces went there post-9/11, but because they were fighting Soviet forces we had literal Senators going there to glad hand and talk about what great guys they were.
If not for the United States and other foreign powers funneling billions of dollars to arm and support the insurgents, Afghanistan (never mind the rest of the world) would be in a much better place right now.
And that's why the photoshop is so resonant. Despite being a manufactured lie, it reflects an underlying truth.
No yeah I agree. I'm trying to say that it doesn't matter if the ending card is real. Because either way it reflects the content of the movie.
I want my Vietnam…ese food. I could really go for some good pho.
What about a bahm mi?
not much, whats bahm mi with you ?
Yes, with a quick verbal "boom." You take a man's peko, you deny him his dab, all that is left is to rise up and tear down the walls of Jericho with a ".....not!" -TexiKen
Posts
Well, Star Trek TMP is also responding pretty hard to 2001.
https://gofund.me/fa5990a5
it fucking sucks, Star Trek '09 accomplishes exactly what that scene is trying to accomplish in about 5% of the time
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
It feels like the sort of movie that watched 2001 and took every wrong lesson from it
That being said I don’t find it completely offensive, it’s a good movie for falling asleep or doing chores
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
That is very, extremely true, but Gene Roddenberry is no Stanley Kubrick, God bless ‘im.
Can I assume you didn't watch the version with the overture? To be clear this is an about 10 minute sequence before the movie proper starts with a blank screen and just music. "We should have an Overture" really sums up the entire ethos of this movie.
https://gofund.me/fa5990a5
no, it's the one that started with ten minutes of a starfield that made me think the movie was broken
I admit I've never seen rambo 3 but I always thought it was no deeper then COMMUNISM BAD!
There is a character who says "We had our Vietnam now you're going to have yours". They very much make the comparison. The fact that everyone working on this movie was brain poisoned enough not to notice what the movie is saying doesn't stop if from saying it.
https://gofund.me/fa5990a5
Data only likes his own slick shoes.
She didn’t specify but I guess the rest of the movie seems believable to her
There is a sloth in this movie
So far it’s been a puppet. Pretty good looking one too.
Thought is face is reminding me of either Grimcutty or the main bad guy in Sinister.
So I’m getting strong Glenn Danzig vibes from it
That's not true, Data loves Spot.
Spot loves Feline Supplement 53 but stopped eating it to spite Data.
Some people will watch this and think it’s one of the most ridiculous movies they’ve ever seen. Just depends on where you start yourself on that spectrum.
Maybe he could explain it better.
Edit: Jesus they’re both cute and terrifying depending on the angle, I can’t stop looking up sloth videos. If these fuckers could move fast they’d be the most terrifying thing on earth
How does something alive look like it’s a puppet made of its own taxidermied corpse
Dug Up(2013)
“Chaos takes over a rural town after a trio of residents accidentally conjure a zombie outbreak”
It’s really dumb but I’m enjoying it! The characters are all pretty extreme white trash stereotypes but…that’s fine with me.
Along those (very broad) lines, there's also Boys from County Hell from a few years ago, where some Irish guys fuck around with Abhartach's grave and people start getting their blood drained 'cause, surprise, don't let a vampire out, duh.
It's kinda fun.
That was literally the US government goal in arming the mujahedin. They wanted to force the Soviet Union to intervene in a military quagmire. The mujahedin were always as bad as when American forces went there post-9/11, but because they were fighting Soviet forces we had literal Senators going there to glad hand and talk about what great guys they were.
If not for the United States and other foreign powers funneling billions of dollars to arm and support the insurgents, Afghanistan (never mind the rest of the world) would be in a much better place right now.
And that's why the photoshop is so resonant. Despite being a manufactured lie, it reflects an underlying truth.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Still warm out, so too early for pho.
I would do shameful things for a grilled lemongrass pork banh mi right now, though.
Steam ID XBL: JohnnyChopsocky PSN:Stud_Beefpile WiiU:JohnnyChopsocky
No yeah I agree. I'm trying to say that it doesn't matter if the ending card is real. Because either way it reflects the content of the movie.
https://gofund.me/fa5990a5
What about a bahm mi?
not much, whats bahm mi with you ?
*sigh*
Honestly? Where do I start?
The need to start adding more and more lore to the story.
Sometimes I just want a movie to be a scary house, not a plot to bring hell to Earth
Wasn't that the opening credits of DS9 or am I forgetting another gag