BroloBroseidonLord of the BroceanRegistered Userregular
A high-level Iowa hospital systems administrator, Matthew Kierans, has admitted to stealing a coworker's identity and posing as William Donald Woods for more than 30 years, The Register reported.
On top of using Woods' identity to commit crimes and rack up debt, Kierans' elaborate identity theft scheme led to Woods' incarceration after Kierans' accused his victim of identity theft and Los Angeles authorities failed to detect which man was the true William Donald Woods. Kierans could face up to 32 years in prison, The Register reported, and must pay a $1.25 million fine.
According to a proposed plea agreement with the US Attorney's Office for the Northern District of Iowa, Kierans met Woods "in about 1988" when they worked together at a hot dog stand in New Mexico. "For the next three decades," Kierans used Woods' "identity in every aspect of his life," including when obtaining "employment, insurance, a social security number, driver's licenses, titles, loans, and credit," as well as when paying taxes. Kierans even got married and had a child using Woods' name.
...
As a result of LAPD's investigation—which included contacting Kierans and reviewing Kierans' fraudulent documents, which at times used a different middle name—Woods was arrested for unauthorized use of personal information. Subsequently, Woods was charged with committing felony crimes of identity theft and false impersonation, facing as much as three years' incarceration for each count.
Woods continued insisting that he was the real victim of identity theft, while the California court system insisted he was actually Kierans. This continued until December 2019 when a state public defender told a court that Woods did not have the mental competency to stand trial. The court ordered Woods to be detained in a publicly funded California mental hospital until his mental competency improved, where he was given psychotropic medication in 2020.
Ultimately, in March 2021, Woods was convicted of the felony charges and after his release, he was ordered to "use only" what California decided was his "true name, Matthew Kierans." In total, Woods spent 428 days in jail and 147 days in a mental hospital because California officials failed to detect his true identity.
Doesn't say whether he has actual mental issues before all this or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if having the entire world say you're somebody else, and that the person who stole your Identity is the real you, does a number on the psyche.
Also wouldn't be surprised if LAPD half-assed their "investigation" because the victim was homeless and the thief was not.
Doesn't say whether he has actual mental issues before all this or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if having the entire world say you're somebody else, and that the person who stole your Identity is the real you, does a number on the psyche.
Also wouldn't be surprised if LAPD half-assed their "investigation" because the victim was homeless and the thief was not.
ding ding ding ding we have a winner
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
+44
facetiousa wit so dryit shits sandRegistered Userregular
My literal greatest fear is to be falsely accused of something I didn't do. Even just accused, let alone actually punished, let alone incarcerated, let alone institutionalized, etc.
That is Fucking Terrifying.
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
My literal greatest fear is to be falsely accused of something I didn't do. Even just accused, let alone actually punished, let alone incarcerated, let alone institutionalized, etc.
Woman screwed over by predatory loans in turn tries to defend someone being evicted from the same root causes by unleashing bees on the cops. And a great mug shot.
"As the officer led Woods to a cruiser, he told her that he and several officers were allergic to bees. “Oh you’re allergic, good,” she allegedly replied."
akajaybay on
+58
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
As the officer led Woods to a cruiser, he told her that he and several officers were allergic to bees. “Oh you’re allergic, good,” she allegedly replied.
is there anything police aren't deathly allergic to?
Only just now noticing the article is from 2022.
Still pretty relevant. Hope they're still helping people file lawsuits to stop wrongful evictions.
Edit: near as I can tell she's still pending trial for the bees.
akajaybay on
0
JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
No worries. Honey and stories about rad ladies attacking cops with bees have no expiration date.
+2
facetiousa wit so dryit shits sandRegistered Userregular
Apparently the AP Style guide has relaxed its language on twitter due to its "decline in cultural relevance".
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Woman screwed over by predatory loans in turn tries to defend someone being evicted from the same root causes by unleashing bees on the cops. And a great mug shot.
"As the officer led Woods to a cruiser, he told her that he and several officers were allergic to bees. “Oh you’re allergic, good,” she allegedly replied."
Wait, I'm hearing Elon finally gave up on the paid blue checkmark stuff?
he made it so that anyone with a certain number of blue-check followers get the blue-check for free, which resulted in a lot of new "wtf is this blue check on my account, I wouldn't pay for this shit" posts
The monarchy is vestigial and just kept around for tradition's sake, and tourism.
You say this but then when the queen dies the entire hive goes bugshit
+6
ShadowfireVermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered Userregular
edited April 5
“I’m just thankful no one died because bee allergies are serious. I hope that these out-of-county protesters will reconsider using extreme measures in the future because they will be charged and prosecuted.”
Oh fuck off.
Edit: also, I support her Beekeeper work wholeheartedly.
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
+3
BroloBroseidonLord of the BroceanRegistered Userregular
edited April 5
this is Twitter’s trending news section, powered by Elon Musk’s Grok AI. it pulled in a bunch of joke tweets about this and is treating it as if it’s a real news story
Posts
...
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/04/man-pleads-guilty-to-stealing-former-coworkers-identity-for-30-years/
what in the hell is this story
That's actually nightmare fuel torture
I get very mad when someone over cooks fish in the break room microwave too, but holy fucking shit
Fucker. You DO NOT get to say that after all the shit you put the other guy through you get absolutely no sympathy from me.
And by my life, I mean that other guys life!
Relax bro, it was a social experiment!
Also wouldn't be surprised if LAPD half-assed their "investigation" because the victim was homeless and the thief was not.
ding ding ding ding we have a winner
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
That is Fucking Terrifying.
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
Smeltitdeltiobia
Yeah I had "getting mistaken for the KGB agent picking up the dead drop and getting assassinated by the CIA" way, way higher
[looks at the state of the American Carceral System]
I dunno, that’s a pretty sound fear to have, at least depending on skin color.
@Lanz have you seen this one
youtube insisted i watch it
omg
Honorary cat
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/10/bee-attacker-rorie-woods-on-her-fight-against-evictions.html
Woman screwed over by predatory loans in turn tries to defend someone being evicted from the same root causes by unleashing bees on the cops. And a great mug shot.
"As the officer led Woods to a cruiser, he told her that he and several officers were allergic to bees. “Oh you’re allergic, good,” she allegedly replied."
is there anything police aren't deathly allergic to?
should've dipped the bees in fentanyl
Still pretty relevant. Hope they're still helping people file lawsuits to stop wrongful evictions.
Edit: near as I can tell she's still pending trial for the bees.
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
EDIT: Or rather started handing it out for free to big accounts, some of whom aren't happy.
https://www.msnbc.com/top-stories/latest/elon-musk-blue-check-mark-twitter-x-rcna146462
he made it so that anyone with a certain number of blue-check followers get the blue-check for free, which resulted in a lot of new "wtf is this blue check on my account, I wouldn't pay for this shit" posts
The monarchy is vestigial and just kept around for tradition's sake, and tourism.
You say this but then when the queen dies the entire hive goes bugshit
Oh fuck off.
Edit: also, I support her Beekeeper work wholeheartedly.
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197970666737/
You can't put the bees on trial.
They have the divine right of bees.