Beverly Hillbillies come out of side alley. Granny is on a fuckin ostrich. Jethro has the village idiot strength and tears someone's arms out of their sockets..Jed snipes a man from half a holler away. Elly May uses her innocent southern belle charm to seduce a fool and then accidentally kills him with tainted grits.
animated sitcoms, American Dad, definitely.
Stan has CIA hook-ups and the whole lot of them are fucking insane.
also Roger is mostly immortal, so if it's a "leaving the game running to wait out The End" situation, he'd bring the victory.
Stan and Roger are good ringers, but I think the rest of the family is dragging them down.
Klause? Dude's a goldfish. Not much help in a fight, even if used as an improvised weapon. Might be the mastermind behind the sitcom Mortal Kombat (though, that's just as likely to be one of Roger's personas),
Steve? His most enduring trait is that he's a nerd that gets bullied a lot. Maybe he snaps and goes full on rampage, maybe he just curls into a ball and whimpers.
Haley? Pacifist. Might be willing to fight in certain extreme circumstances, but unlikely to tilt the balance.
Francine? Sure, she exercises regularly, and she almost certainly comes equipped with an empty wine bottle or two, but... like Haley, doesn't seem likely to do much.
That, of course, leaves Jeff. Let's be honest, he's not gonna fight. He's gonna hop onboard the Mystery Machine with Shaggy and dole out the Scooby snacks.
What about Rick and Morty?
Rick, naturally, near god-like powers of super tech.
Space Beth/Normal Beth - Scifi weapons galore
Summer and Morty have both been on a number of adventures with Rick and have racked up a kill count beyond what any other sitcom cast could do outside of a "it was all a dream" episode.
The only albatross around this teams neck would be Jerry, and we've seen that he will go to extraordinary lengths to protect his family when forced to do so.
Beverly Hillbillies come out of side alley. Granny is on a fuckin ostrich. Jethro has the village idiot strength and tears someone's arms out of their sockets..Jed snipes a man from half a holler away. Elly May uses her innocent southern belle charm to seduce a fool and then accidentally kills him with tainted grits.
She doesn't understand.
I hate the Beverly Hillbillies because of this recurring MST3K bit, I use these episodes as sleep aids but random JEEEEEEEDDD JEEEEEEEDDD wake me up.
+Cat is very agile
+Lister has been in bar fights before, can hold his own. Also quick to improvise
+Rimmer theoretically knows strategy from all that military history he's read
+Kryten can keep going even after sustaining damage, decent at scanning for their targets
+Portable mining lasers literally called bazookoids are their weapon of choice
-Cat unwilling to get close in for fear of scuffing his outfit
-Lister can get overconfident in a fight, also not in the best shape, kind of a skinny fat
-Most of the time Rimmer is a softlight hologram and can't actually touch anyone
-Even if he can touch, he's a coward and avoids a fight when possible
-Kryten isn't strictly programmed not to harm humans, but is highly reluctant to do so
+Cat is very agile
+Lister has been in bar fights before, can hold his own. Also quick to improvise
+Rimmer theoretically knows strategy from all that military history he's read
+Kryten can keep going even after sustaining damage, decent at scanning for their targets
+Portable mining lasers literally called bazookoids are their weapon of choice
-Cat unwilling to get close in for fear of scuffing his outfit
-Lister can get overconfident in a fight, also not in the best shape, kind of a skinny fat
-Most of the time Rimmer is a softlight hologram and can't actually touch anyone
-Even if he can touch, he's a coward and avoids a fight when possible
-Kryten isn't strictly programmed not to harm humans, but is highly reluctant to do so
Depends if it's a ranged fight
What about Ace Rimmer
You go in the cage, cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water, our shark.
the cast of spongebob squarepants are ready to rumble, but are mostly tiny sea creatures on dry land and suffocate or dehydrate quickly, and are mostly unnoticed by the titanic mammals fighting around them. Sandy Cheeks does do some work though.
+Cat is very agile
+Lister has been in bar fights before, can hold his own. Also quick to improvise
+Rimmer theoretically knows strategy from all that military history he's read
+Kryten can keep going even after sustaining damage, decent at scanning for their targets
+Portable mining lasers literally called bazookoids are their weapon of choice
-Cat unwilling to get close in for fear of scuffing his outfit
-Lister can get overconfident in a fight, also not in the best shape, kind of a skinny fat
-Most of the time Rimmer is a softlight hologram and can't actually touch anyone
-Even if he can touch, he's a coward and avoids a fight when possible
-Kryten isn't strictly programmed not to harm humans, but is highly reluctant to do so
Depends if it's a ranged fight
What about Ace Rimmer
I have that DVD
and/or
That’s my band name
+1
MachwingIt looks like a harmless old computer, doesn't it?Left in this cave to rot ... or to flower!Registered Userregular
Mr. Bean would unknowingly incapacitate every single one of these guys
+1
sponoMining for Nose DiamondsBooger CoveRegistered Userregular
I feel like the Family Matters crew have a decent shot
Eddie is huge
Carl can hulk out
Harriette has tons of rage inside her
Estelle will run one of them over with her motorcycle
Laura's scrappy
Steve can just turn into Stefan and seduce half of them into submission
Plus invisible Judy
And secret wildcard Myra
Fresh Prince, pretty sure Uncle Phil and Geoffrey bushwhacker walk into the fight and go to town on everyone while Carla picks Will up and spinning piledrivers him.
Phil, Will, and Geoffrey have seen some shit
Will is getting spun around over Sam's shoulders, when suddenly Uncle Phil enters the alley. Jump cut to an exterior shot of the alley as the entire cast of Cheers is ejected from it one by one.
+Cat is very agile
+Lister has been in bar fights before, can hold his own. Also quick to improvise
+Rimmer theoretically knows strategy from all that military history he's read
+Kryten can keep going even after sustaining damage, decent at scanning for their targets
+Portable mining lasers literally called bazookoids are their weapon of choice
-Cat unwilling to get close in for fear of scuffing his outfit
-Lister can get overconfident in a fight, also not in the best shape, kind of a skinny fat
-Most of the time Rimmer is a softlight hologram and can't actually touch anyone
-Even if he can touch, he's a coward and avoids a fight when possible
-Kryten isn't strictly programmed not to harm humans, but is highly reluctant to do so
Depends if it's a ranged fight
What about Ace Rimmer
What a guy
The universe would likely conjure up Dwayne Dibbley as his partner to nerf him
Plus I feel like if we had a broader knowledge of Spanish or really any other culture’s sitcoms many of these entries would be toast. Not Malcolm in the Middle though. They’re contenders.
I think one of the neighbours in Aquí no hay quien viva or La que se avecina looked like an axe murderer sometimes.
i just thought of a crew that might fold faster than modern family and that is possibly will and grace
Karen would be one of the last ones standing
nobody is bitchier or drunker than Karen
+2
Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
How about the cast of Dad’s Army. A lot of them are WW1 vet and they’d probably end up accidentally throwing a live grenades into the bar or something.
Posts
They're basically cartoon characters
Yeah fair point even if ALF doesn’t go after a cat Charlie would probably think he’s the rat king and respond accordingly
I love Scrubs, I love Dr. Cox but…he sucker punched an old man. That doesn’t prove anything.
You think he's autistic till he start bashin' and the eyes roll back all white...
She doesn't understand.
Costanza vs Reynolds
Noone is leaving that battle with two ears.
Stan and Roger are good ringers, but I think the rest of the family is dragging them down.
Klause? Dude's a goldfish. Not much help in a fight, even if used as an improvised weapon. Might be the mastermind behind the sitcom Mortal Kombat (though, that's just as likely to be one of Roger's personas),
Steve? His most enduring trait is that he's a nerd that gets bullied a lot. Maybe he snaps and goes full on rampage, maybe he just curls into a ball and whimpers.
Haley? Pacifist. Might be willing to fight in certain extreme circumstances, but unlikely to tilt the balance.
Francine? Sure, she exercises regularly, and she almost certainly comes equipped with an empty wine bottle or two, but... like Haley, doesn't seem likely to do much.
That, of course, leaves Jeff. Let's be honest, he's not gonna fight. He's gonna hop onboard the Mystery Machine with Shaggy and dole out the Scooby snacks.
What about Rick and Morty?
Rick, naturally, near god-like powers of super tech.
Space Beth/Normal Beth - Scifi weapons galore
Summer and Morty have both been on a number of adventures with Rick and have racked up a kill count beyond what any other sitcom cast could do outside of a "it was all a dream" episode.
The only albatross around this teams neck would be Jerry, and we've seen that he will go to extraordinary lengths to protect his family when forced to do so.
I hate the Beverly Hillbillies because of this recurring MST3K bit, I use these episodes as sleep aids but random JEEEEEEEDDD JEEEEEEEDDD wake me up.
+Cat is very agile
+Lister has been in bar fights before, can hold his own. Also quick to improvise
+Rimmer theoretically knows strategy from all that military history he's read
+Kryten can keep going even after sustaining damage, decent at scanning for their targets
+Portable mining lasers literally called bazookoids are their weapon of choice
-Cat unwilling to get close in for fear of scuffing his outfit
-Lister can get overconfident in a fight, also not in the best shape, kind of a skinny fat
-Most of the time Rimmer is a softlight hologram and can't actually touch anyone
-Even if he can touch, he's a coward and avoids a fight when possible
-Kryten isn't strictly programmed not to harm humans, but is highly reluctant to do so
Depends if it's a ranged fight
What about Ace Rimmer
Especially now, Randy got fucking yolked
Edit: thank you, saved draft. Here is the photo I was going to add before deciding sesame street obviously is not a sitcom and wouldn't qualify
janet really carries that team
the only other fighter is eleanor
jason is simply not gonna throw down
I have that DVD
and/or
That’s my band name
Eddie is huge
Carl can hulk out
Harriette has tons of rage inside her
Estelle will run one of them over with her motorcycle
Laura's scrappy
Steve can just turn into Stefan and seduce half of them into submission
Plus invisible Judy
And secret wildcard Myra
Pocket sand!
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Jason doesn't throw down, he throws Molotovs.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Will is getting spun around over Sam's shoulders, when suddenly Uncle Phil enters the alley. Jump cut to an exterior shot of the alley as the entire cast of Cheers is ejected from it one by one.
What a guy
The universe would likely conjure up Dwayne Dibbley as his partner to nerf him
Or knowingly. He's a mean man.
Joe Chouinard's Frasier.
https://x.com/joechoui/status/1348735698430533634
Karen would be one of the last ones standing
nobody is bitchier or drunker than Karen
nick and coach would probably be the big fighters there, but agree