Options

What's so bad about the fappin'?

1468910

Posts

  • Options
    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Well, she's a girl. It probably works differently.

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
  • Options
    GroovyMr1337GroovyMr1337 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Well, she's a girl. It probably works differently.

    Like if you sit on a bicycle without a seat.

    GroovyMr1337 on
  • Options
    FerrusFerrus Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I heard girls can actually learn to masturbate without using their hands. :lol:

    Ferrus on
    I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
    My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
    And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
  • Options
    METAzraeLMETAzraeL Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    GoodOmens wrote: »
    METAzraeL wrote: »
    Shit, I used to use my calculator to memorize digits of pi instead of studying, wtf was I thinking?

    Oh, is that what the young people call it these days? "Just a minute, Mom, I'm doing my math homework!"
    "just using my calculator in here, nothing to worry about" *cough cough*

    I always hate getting hard when I'm just playing with a girl's hands or something like that. It doesn't happen as much anymore for the casual stuff, so that's cool.

    METAzraeL on

    dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
    sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
  • Options
    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Well, she's a girl. It probably works differently.

    Like if you sit on a bicycle without a seat.

    Or on a bumpy road.

    Couscous on
  • Options
    Death of RatsDeath of Rats Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    For some reason I was always more scared of my parents finding out that I masturbated or walking in on me masturbating than I was them discovering that I smoked pot.

    Very odd that.

    Then again now I'm more scared of the fact that I know where my mom keeps her massive collection of sex toys.

    Death of Rats on
    No I don't.
  • Options
    Target PracticeTarget Practice Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    For some reason I was always more scared of my parents finding out that I masturbated or walking in on me masturbating than I was them discovering that I smoked pot.

    Very odd that.

    Then again now I'm more scared of the fact that I know where my mom keeps her massive collection of sex toys.

    Oh gof

    Yeah, I found a big box of dildos under my parents' bed once

    *shudder*

    Target Practice on
    sig.gif
  • Options
    Death of RatsDeath of Rats Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    For some reason I was always more scared of my parents finding out that I masturbated or walking in on me masturbating than I was them discovering that I smoked pot.

    Very odd that.

    Then again now I'm more scared of the fact that I know where my mom keeps her massive collection of sex toys.

    Oh gof

    Yeah, I found a big box of dildos under my parents' bed once

    *shudder*

    I discovered it a few months back while looking for our old VHS copy of the Ninja Turtles movie.

    Death of Rats on
    No I don't.
  • Options
    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    For some reason I was always more scared of my parents finding out that I masturbated or walking in on me masturbating than I was them discovering that I smoked pot.

    Very odd that.

    Then again now I'm more scared of the fact that I know where my mom keeps her massive collection of sex toys.

    Oh gof

    Yeah, I found a big box of dildos under my parents' bed once

    *shudder*

    /hug for both of you

    Those kind of stories deserve hugs.

    shryke on
  • Options
    GroovyMr1337GroovyMr1337 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    At the very least you didn't walk in on her in the action.

    GroovyMr1337 on
  • Options
    OceaniaxOceaniax Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    shryke wrote: »
    For some reason I was always more scared of my parents finding out that I masturbated or walking in on me masturbating than I was them discovering that I smoked pot.

    Very odd that.

    Then again now I'm more scared of the fact that I know where my mom keeps her massive collection of sex toys.

    Oh gof

    Yeah, I found a big box of dildos under my parents' bed once

    *shudder*

    /hug for both of you

    Those kind of stories deserve hugs.



    ...and a shower.

    ...and a lobotomy.

    Oceaniax on
  • Options
    Death of RatsDeath of Rats Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    At the very least you didn't walk in on her in the action.

    Great, because of that mental picture I'm gay and need to take lots of showers to clean off this filthy dirt it's all over and it's not coming off oh god! Thanks a lot.

    Death of Rats on
    No I don't.
  • Options
    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Ferrus wrote: »
    I heard girls can actually learn to masturbate without using their hands. :lol:

    Yeah, it's not terribly uncommon for a girl's first masturbatory experience to involve something other than her hands. The water faucet in the bathtub and the arm of the couch are a couple of common culprits.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • Options
    PicardathonPicardathon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    For some reason I was always more scared of my parents finding out that I masturbated or walking in on me masturbating than I was them discovering that I smoked pot.

    Very odd that.

    Then again now I'm more scared of the fact that I know where my mom keeps her massive collection of sex toys.

    Well because you might be nervous about that while your masturbating.
    Any worry you might have about your parents finding out about you smoking pot would be at its peak (lol) when you were smoking pot. Such worries would be negated by the fact that you were smoking pot.

    Picardathon on
  • Options
    Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    You know, porn doesn't have to just be about fapping. I used to watch porn all the time with my ex. Getting a blowjob while watching porn = win.

    Also to comment on the whole "stealth fapping" thing when your partner is in bed with you, I never really got that way. I would actually try to get her to notice, kind of meaning "hint hint, gimmie some help here". I never felt that I had to hide it from her...

    Yeah, fapping a lot can cause you to "lose the eye of the tiger" as Doc put it. But if you go too long without it.... you go crazy. At least I do.

    I would still beat too even when I was having sex a lot. It wasn't an issue of "the sex isn't doing it for me". I just wanted to beat still.

    Al_wat on
  • Options
    electricitylikesmeelectricitylikesme Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Feral wrote: »
    Ferrus wrote: »
    I heard girls can actually learn to masturbate without using their hands. :lol:

    Yeah, it's not terribly uncommon for a girl's first masturbatory experience to involve something other than her hands. The water faucet in the bathtub and the arm of the couch are a couple of common culprits.
    You know if I had sisters I would find this mildly perturbing.

    electricitylikesme on
  • Options
    Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Sisters don't have sex or do anything sex related. Same with moms, ex-girlfriends, and anyone else who it hurts my brain to think about like that.

    Al_wat on
  • Options
    Death of RatsDeath of Rats Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh god, I know much more about my sister's sexual life than I should, would ever want to, or god my head hurts, seeing how most of my friends at some point before becoming my friends dated her.

    There's nothing like swimming with one of your best buddies and him going "Oh yeah, it was right over there where your sister gave me my first blowjob." Or saying something about face fucking and one of them going "Yeah, your sister gave that phrase a whole new meaning."

    I'd get pissed about it if what they were saying was untrue, but seeing how it's not I can't really get mad. It sucks though.

    Death of Rats on
    No I don't.
  • Options
    Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    As yosimite sam can attest, I got few terrible erections during a long car trip. I wasn't aroused, I didn't need to pee, but they were all uncomfortable and wouldn't go away. I hate those.

    Casual Eddy on
  • Options
    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    -sigh- yeah. that is sucky.

    edit: to both of the posts above mine.

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
  • Options
    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh god, I know much more about my sister's sexual life than I should, would ever want to, or god my head hurts, seeing how most of my friends at some point before becoming my friends dated her.

    There's nothing like swimming with one of your best buddies and him going "Oh yeah, it was right over there where your sister gave me my first blowjob." Or saying something about face fucking and one of them going "Yeah, your sister gave that phrase a whole new meaning."

    I'd get pissed about it if what they were saying was untrue, but seeing how it's not I can't really get mad. It sucks though.

    more /hugs

    shryke on
  • Options
    WindbitWindbit Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    As yosimite sam can attest, I got few terrible erections during a long car trip. I wasn't aroused, I didn't need to pee, but they were all uncomfortable and wouldn't go away. I hate those.

    Me too. One time I was with my parents and we decided to stop at the mall. For some reason I got one of those erections, and it wouldn't go away! When we got out of the car I tried to walk between cars in the parking lot hoping that no one would notice. I hesitated once we got to the door, and my parents asked what was wrong. Thankfully they didn't notice my boner. A girl inside did, though, and looked at me very strangely.

    It wilted instantly.

    Windbit on
  • Options
    Xenocide GeekXenocide Geek Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Windbit wrote: »
    As yosimite sam can attest, I got few terrible erections during a long car trip. I wasn't aroused, I didn't need to pee, but they were all uncomfortable and wouldn't go away. I hate those.

    Me too. One time I was with my parents and we decided to stop at the mall. For some reason I got one of those erections, and it wouldn't go away! When we got out of the car I tried to walk between cars in the parking lot hoping that no one would notice. I hesitated once we got to the door, and my parents asked what was wrong. Thankfully they didn't notice my boner. A girl inside did, though, and looked at me very strangely.

    It rose to EPIC PROPORTIONS!

    Xenocide Geek on
    i wanted love, i needed love
    most of all, most of all
    someone said true love was dead
    but i'm bound to fall
    bound to fall for you
    oh what can i do
  • Options
    Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I remember getting those random erections, they seem to have stopped thank god.

    Look Out it's Sabs! on
    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • Options
    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Awkward boners are the worst things in the world. You're all just sitting there, doing your business, then BAM oh hello Mr. Penis I see you've got yourself all spun up about something.

    It's especially bad when you're at a funeral. Try explaining that one away without coming off to your family as a complete freak.

    Hacksaw on
  • Options
    Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Awkward boners are the worst things in the world. You're all just sitting there, doing your business, then BAM oh hello Mr. Penis I see you've got yourself all spun up about something.

    It's especially bad when you're at a funeral. Try explaining that one away without coming off to your family as a complete freak.

    You think this happening to lots of guys they would understand you, but eh.

    Look Out it's Sabs! on
    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • Options
    HozHoz Cool Cat Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I wear hard pants.

    Hoz on
  • Options
    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Awkward boners are the worst things in the world. You're all just sitting there, doing your business, then BAM oh hello Mr. Penis I see you've got yourself all spun up about something.

    It's especially bad when you're at a funeral. Try explaining that one away without coming off to your family as a complete freak.

    You think this happening to lots of guys they would understand you, but eh.
    I tried telling that to one of my friends. He just gave me a o_O look the entire time. I'm pretty sure he's never had an erection before.

    Hacksaw on
  • Options
    Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Awkward boners are the worst things in the world. You're all just sitting there, doing your business, then BAM oh hello Mr. Penis I see you've got yourself all spun up about something.

    It's especially bad when you're at a funeral. Try explaining that one away without coming off to your family as a complete freak.

    You think this happening to lots of guys they would understand you, but eh.
    I tried telling that to one of my friends. He just gave me a o_O look the entire time. I'm pretty sure he's never had an erection before.

    I think I only talked about this kinda stuff with one friend who also had this happen to him.

    For example one day at school the teacher asked him to handout some handouts to the class, as he went to stand up he got an erection and quickly sat back down saying he doesnt feel good and put his head on his desk.

    Look Out it's Sabs! on
    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • Options
    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Awkward boners are the worst things in the world. You're all just sitting there, doing your business, then BAM oh hello Mr. Penis I see you've got yourself all spun up about something.

    It's especially bad when you're at a funeral. Try explaining that one away without coming off to your family as a complete freak.

    You think this happening to lots of guys they would understand you, but eh.
    I tried telling that to one of my friends. He just gave me a o_O look the entire time. I'm pretty sure he's never had an erection before.

    I think I only talked about this kinda stuff with one friend who also had this happen to him.

    For example one day at school the teacher asked him to handout some handouts to the class, as he went to stand up he got an erection and quickly sat back down saying he doesnt feel good and put his head on his desk.
    I had something like that happen to me one time. Managed to get out of it by telling the teacher I needed to go to the bathroom because I felt like I was going to puke. Luckily for me he wasn't brave enough to call my bluff, and just let me go without any hassle.

    Hacksaw on
  • Options
    electricitylikesmeelectricitylikesme Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Awkward boners are the worst things in the world. You're all just sitting there, doing your business, then BAM oh hello Mr. Penis I see you've got yourself all spun up about something.

    It's especially bad when you're at a funeral. Try explaining that one away without coming off to your family as a complete freak.

    You think this happening to lots of guys they would understand you, but eh.
    I tried telling that to one of my friends. He just gave me a o_O look the entire time. I'm pretty sure he's never had an erection before.

    I think I only talked about this kinda stuff with one friend who also had this happen to him.

    For example one day at school the teacher asked him to handout some handouts to the class, as he went to stand up he got an erection and quickly sat back down saying he doesnt feel good and put his head on his desk.
    I had something like that happen to me one time. Managed to get out of it by telling the teacher I needed to go to the bathroom because I felt like I was going to puke. Luckily for me he wasn't brave enough to call my bluff, and just let me go without any hassle.
    This was pretty much my nightmare Years 7-8 in high school. Never was an issue though in the end thank god.

    electricitylikesme on
  • Options
    GroovyMr1337GroovyMr1337 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I just stand up and let my flag fly proudly.

    GroovyMr1337 on
  • Options
    AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    High School is a never-ending parade of boners.

    All guys should know this.

    Though I am continually surprised to hear how enigmatic the male reproductive system is to girls. Why just the other day my girlfriend asked me if I voluntarily lift my balls when it gets cold. Man, I wish I could voluntarily lift my balls, I'd make them dance!

    Also, she didn't know until relatively recently that guys get sporadic boners for no reason, completely outside of their control.

    AbsoluteZero on
    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
  • Options
    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Though I am continually surprised to hear how enigmatic the male reproductive system is to girls. Why just the other day my girlfriend asked me if I voluntarily lift my balls when it gets cold. Man, I wish I could voluntarily lift my balls, I'd make them dance!

    Does she know you can voluntarily move the shaft?

    DarkPrimus on
  • Options
    yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    High School is a never-ending parade of boners.

    All guys should know this.

    Though I am continually surprised to hear how enigmatic the male reproductive system is to girls. Why just the other day my girlfriend asked me if I voluntarily lift my balls when it gets cold. Man, I wish I could voluntarily lift my balls, I'd make them dance!

    Also, she didn't know until relatively recently that guys get sporadic boners for no reason, completely outside of their control.

    I can ALMOST make them voluntarily sorta lift. ALMOST.

    ...I wish I could do it properly, and independently. I'd make 'em cha-cha.

    yalborap on
  • Options
    electricitylikesmeelectricitylikesme Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    This thread is rapidly taking a turn for weird.

    electricitylikesme on
  • Options
    Xenocide GeekXenocide Geek Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    This thread is rapidly taking a turn for weird.

    i think it's more appropriate to say it's randomly taking a turn for the yalborap.

    roughly equivalent, if not stranger.

    Xenocide Geek on
    i wanted love, i needed love
    most of all, most of all
    someone said true love was dead
    but i'm bound to fall
    bound to fall for you
    oh what can i do
  • Options
    Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Though I am continually surprised to hear how enigmatic the male reproductive system is to girls. Why just the other day my girlfriend asked me if I voluntarily lift my balls when it gets cold. Man, I wish I could voluntarily lift my balls, I'd make them dance!

    Does she know you can voluntarily move the shaft?

    It was fun surprising my girlfriend with that. It's magic hazzah!

    Look Out it's Sabs! on
    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • Options
    Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    There's little end to the amount of fun that can be had with reproductive organs.

    Loren Michael on
    a7iea7nzewtq.jpg
  • Options
    Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    There's little end to the amount of fun that can be had with reproductive organs.

    Except for their actual use, ewww babies.

    Look Out it's Sabs! on
    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
This discussion has been closed.