As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

Nobody cares about your age.

ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
edited August 2007 in Debate and/or Discourse
I have been wondering, why is it considered "too personal" to inquire about someone's age?

People seem to find it more personal the older they are.

It's like a fucking taboo to ask or even imply anything about their age.

Seriously, nobody gives a shit if you're 40 or 60 or 200.

I was originally going to mention the taboo of asking about a person's weight as well, but we have had way too many obesity threads lately and I don't want this to go in that direction. However, when I thought about it I found it understandable that asking a person how much they weigh is considered rude, since society stigmatizes obesity.

Does this imply that there is some sort of hidden stigmatization going on about age as well?

Women seem to be even more offended than men when their age (or weight, for that matter) is inadvertently inquired.

Seriously, it seems so self-centered to think that anyone will honestly give a shit about your age. You're 35? So fucking what? Why do you feel like you have to hide it? I can already see you're older than me, so why does it matter whether I know by how many years?

ege02 on
«134

Posts

  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    I have been wondering, why is it considered "too personal" to inquire about someone's age?

    People seem to find it more personal the older they are.

    It's like a fucking taboo to ask or even imply anything about their age.

    Seriously, nobody gives a shit if you're 40 or 60 or 200.

    I was originally going to mention the taboo of asking about a person's weight as well, but we have had way too many obesity threads lately and I don't want this to go in that direction. However, when I thought about it I found it understandable that asking a person how much they weigh is considered rude, since society stigmatizes obesity.

    Does this imply that there is some sort of hidden stigmatization going on about age as well?

    Women seem to be even more offended than men when their age (or weight, for that matter) is inadvertently inquired.

    Seriously, it seems so self-centered to think that anyone will honestly give a shit about your age. You're 35? So fucking what? Why do you feel like you have to hide it? I can already see you're older than me, so why does it matter whether I know by how many years?
    Being self conscious has nothing to do with other people. That's why its a cognitive distortion and has very little to do with anything other than one's own weird perceptions of the world.

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    For all legal purposes, I am over 21.

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Podly wrote: »
    For all legal purposes, I am over 21.

    Are you only over 21 for legal purposes? What about non-legal purposes?

    _J_ on
  • ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Older women are generally more sensitive about revealing their age because it directly correlates to how seriously they'll be taken, their career prospects, etc. etc.

    Æthelred on
    pokes: 1505 8032 8399
  • MrBallbagginsMrBallbaggins Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The next time I try to buy beer and they want to card me, I'm going to act all pissed off and say that's personal information.

    .....

    In regards to the op though, I don't really know. I've been known to lie about my age when trying to get with an older female, and I've seen women lie about their age to be with younger men. I guess I've never really thought about it too much.

    I'd assume it's because people are stupid and vain.

    Edit: For that matter, I've seen women lie to get with older men, and men lie to get with younger women, too. Didn't want to get bitched at for that.

    MrBallbaggins on
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    If nobody cares why are you asking? Why not just remain ignorant, since you don't care so loudly?

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I think it stems over from the whole personal information. Americans used to pride themselves on their right to not need legal ID.

    Not anymore. It's one of Gore Vidal's big pet peeves.

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • jothkijothki Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    _J_ wrote: »
    Podly wrote: »
    For all legal purposes, I am over 21.

    Are you only over 21 for legal purposes? What about non-legal purposes?

    He's tried as a minor.

    Would it be possible to estimate someone's age by asking them how old they are and measuring how offended they get?

    jothki on
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    jothki wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    Podly wrote: »
    For all legal purposes, I am over 21.

    Are you only over 21 for legal purposes? What about non-legal purposes?

    He's tried as a minor.

    Would it be possible to estimate someone's age by asking them how old they are and measuring how offended they get?

    underage wimminz

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    poshniallo wrote: »
    If nobody cares why are you asking? Why not just remain ignorant, since you don't care so loudly?

    The same reason why I care about where you live, what you do for a living, things like that: making small talk.

    ege02 on
  • ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I think it stems over from the whole personal information. Americans used to pride themselves on their right to not need legal ID.

    Not anymore. It's one of Gore Vidal's big pet peeves.

    What's changed? Surely you've always needed some form of ID for a bank account or whathaveyou.

    Also:
    ege02 wrote: »
    Does this imply that there is some sort of hidden stigmatization going on about age as well?

    Hidden ?? Hahahahahahaha.

    Æthelred on
    pokes: 1505 8032 8399
  • ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Okay.

    ege02 on
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I think it stems over from the whole personal information. Americans used to pride themselves on their right to not need legal ID.

    Not anymore. It's one of Gore Vidal's big pet peeves.

    What's changed? Surely you've always needed some form of ID for a bank account or whathaveyou.

    Travel, purchasing things, having to give your Social Security # to everyone

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    If nobody cares why are you asking? Why not just remain ignorant, since you don't care so loudly?

    The same reason why I care about where you live, what you do for a living, things like that: making small talk.
    I think it tends to be placed in the 'little too personal' box, like asking how much someone weighs. Its like, why do you need to know?

    Personally, it doesn't bother me, but I think older people do start to get judged on it (and in women's case, you cop all that 'when are you having kids, tick tick tick lawl' bullshit if you haven't spawned by 28 or so). I know my dad had a lot of trouble getting hired when he was between jobs in his late 40's and early 50's, and its only been very recently that employers are starting to value experience again.

    The Cat on
    tmsig.jpg
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I'm not a private person at all - and I live in Japan, where questions like 'what do you do?' or 'where are you from?' are often considered too personal to ask.

    Even in England I long since gave up trying to understand all the stuff that people think is personal.

    Probably everyone has something they consider too personal to tell, but isn't an issue for others.

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • JohannenJohannen Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    If I want to do something that requires me to be over 21, then i'm four months older than I am now.

    I think that it's more of a fear thing probably. (at a guess)

    I mean, nobody wants to be reminded that they're that much closer to death.

    Johannen on
  • ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Podly wrote: »
    Æthelred wrote: »
    I think it stems over from the whole personal information. Americans used to pride themselves on their right to not need legal ID.

    Not anymore. It's one of Gore Vidal's big pet peeves.
    What's changed? Surely you've always needed some form of ID for a bank account or whathaveyou.

    Travel, purchasing things, having to give your Social Security # to everyone

    What sort of travel? I still think it's pretty weird to need your passport to fly within the country. Does the US have the retarded system we do in the UK, where to be authorised to leave the country, you need two signed references from the middle or upper class?

    Æthelred on
    pokes: 1505 8032 8399
  • CangoFettCangoFett Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    You can fly anywhere in the US you want without ID, I believe. Though Ive only flown like once, and at the expense of my parents.

    However, with the RealID act, you will need to show your papers to even drive across state lines.

    If the RealID act passes, I will be one step closer to moving to Svalbard.

    CangoFett on
  • ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    What nefarious acts do the authorities think you can do in one state that you can't in the one you're presently in? That does seem excessive. State borders are massive though, so it's not exactly workable.

    Æthelred on
    pokes: 1505 8032 8399
  • ShintoShinto __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Older women are generally more sensitive about revealing their age because it directly correlates to how seriously they'll be taken, their career prospects, etc. etc.

    Yeah.

    I'm going to bet people don't like to discuss it because then they actually do get treated differently in some way.

    Shinto on
  • ShintoShinto __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    CangoFett wrote: »
    You can fly anywhere in the US you want without ID, I believe. Though Ive only flown like once, and at the expense of my parents.

    However, with the RealID act, you will need to show your papers to even drive across state lines.

    If the RealID act passes, I will be one step closer to moving to Svalbard.

    Yeah.

    Also, M13 will kill your family with machetes and there is a plan to merge all of North America into one country.

    Ah, right wing fear campaigns.

    Shinto on
  • sdrawkcaB emaNsdrawkcaB emaN regular
    edited August 2007
    Well, I've really never known men to be that concerned with revealing their age, but many women certainly are.

    Why? Well, it's easy enough to guess. In a culture that so endorses thong underwear and Girls Gone Wild, and indeed, in a culture where so many women endorse and even participate in such activities, it's no wonder that women want to appear young. They are after all, in the eyes of the great orgy of consumption that is America, products. They are to be consumed for male sexual pleasure, essentially. That's where our society's at, now. Stripping, porn, it's all gone totally mainstream.

    And this isn't liberated sexuality, it's just consumerist sexuality. It's women performing for men -- it's really got nothing to do with what women want or anything like that. Much as some people might claim, showing your tits for GGW doesn't advance women's plight in western culture. Sorry.

    No, instead we have a culture that relentlessly pressures women to expose themselves, so that the male eye may casually consume them -- you know, like how men used to need to go to a strip club to do. Women are pressured to be exhibitionists, and to be an exhibitionist, you need to look good. No one wants inferior merchandise, after all.

    Why are women afraid to reveal their age? Because our culture is well and thoroughly fucked when it comes to how we assess a woman's value to society. That's why.

    sdrawkcaB emaN on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The thread title seems incongruous with the original post.

    If you didn't care about anyone's age, you wouldn't ask for someone's age. And if you're just blathering on as "small talk," let me give you some advice: don't bother. "Small talk" doesn't necessarily mean "nonsense." You can actually have a conversation about things you want to converse about during "small talk."

    I see no reason to talk about things I don't care about and frankly, I don't believe anyone else ever does either unless they are outright lying. Like, people joke about the weather as a conversational topic. Sometimes I'll mention the weather. But when I do it's because I have a genuine comment about the weather. It's still smalltalk, though.

    So, if you don't care about a person's age, don't ask.

    As to why people might get offended by the question? Because it's personal. Individuals have different thresholds on what is "too personal" to discuss with someone they don't know. I'll happily tell anyone my age. I won't discuss my fourth nipple or the fact that I become a werewolf every full moon, though. Other people have other boundaries. Age is one of those topics that falls on either side depending on the person.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • CangoFettCangoFett Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Shinto wrote: »
    CangoFett wrote: »
    You can fly anywhere in the US you want without ID, I believe. Though Ive only flown like once, and at the expense of my parents.

    However, with the RealID act, you will need to show your papers to even drive across state lines.

    If the RealID act passes, I will be one step closer to moving to Svalbard.

    Yeah.

    Also, M13 will kill your family with machetes and there is a plan to merge all of North America into one country.

    Ah, right wing fear campaigns.

    Meh, I dont know that much about the issue, to be honest. Read bits and peices about it mainly on slashdot. Which we all know is like Fox News of the open source community. Svalbard is basically my go to country should America ever go 100% down the crapper, rather it be fascist police state, or total anarchy.

    Also, its MS13.

    CangoFett on
  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Aemilius wrote: »
    Well, I've really never known men to be that concerned with revealing their age, but many women certainly are.

    Why? Well, it's easy enough to guess. In a culture that so endorses thong underwear and Girls Gone Wild, and indeed, in a culture where so many women endorse and even participate in such activities, it's no wonder that women want to appear young. They are after all, in the eyes of the great orgy of consumption that is America, products. They are to be consumed for male sexual pleasure, essentially. That's where our society's at, now. Stripping, porn, it's all gone totally mainstream.

    And this isn't liberated sexuality, it's just consumerist sexuality. It's women performing for men -- it's really got nothing to do with what women want or anything like that. Much as some people might claim, showing your tits for GGW doesn't advance women's plight in western culture. Sorry.

    No, instead we have a culture that relentlessly pressures women to expose themselves, so that the male eye may casually consume them -- you know, like how men used to need to go to a strip club to do. Women are pressured to be exhibitionists, and to be an exhibitionist, you need to look good. No one wants inferior merchandise, after all.

    Why are women afraid to reveal their age? Because our culture is well and thoroughly fucked when it comes to how we assess a woman's value to society. That's why.

    Ah the male gaze speech. I feel like I'm in Feminist Film class all over again.

    Remind me to put a bullet in my brain.

    nexuscrawler on
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Man Aem, I had no idea Gstrings had that kind of power. Not that I think you're wrong exactly, but perhaps overstating the phenomenon. For one thing, the idealisation of the young female and the dismissal of the older is hardly a new thing.

    The Cat on
    tmsig.jpg
  • ShintoShinto __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    Man Aem, I had no idea Gstrings had that kind of power. Not that I think you're wrong exactly, but perhaps overstating the phenomenon. For one thing, the idealisation of the young female and the dismissal of the older is hardly a new thing.

    No, he's right Cat. We're consumers. We eat young women like pudding cups.

    Wait.

    Shinto on
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Ah the male gaze speech. I feel like I'm in Feminist Film class all over again.

    Remind me to put a bullet in my brain.

    You know what? If you really think he's wrong, present an argument as to why instead of making snide comments and waving the fine arts and feminism around like liberal boogeyman (no really, what audience are you trying to trigger by using codewords stolen from Rush Limbaugh?). Your comment is wholly worthless by itself.

    The Cat on
    tmsig.jpg
  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    Man Aem, I had no idea Gstrings had that kind of power. Not that I think you're wrong exactly, but perhaps overstating the phenomenon. For one thing, the idealisation of the young female and the dismissal of the older is hardly a new thing.

    I think it's a also something of a self perpetuating ideal. Like the whole big breasts thing. Seriously guys don't care. Yet for some reason the media and everyone seems to go under the assumption of "OMG BIG BOOBIES GUYS LOVE THAT".

    Same goes for age. Most guys really don't care nearly as much as everyone seems to assume we do.

    nexuscrawler on
  • MrBallbagginsMrBallbaggins Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I think Aem has a point.

    Having said that, and being a male of age 19, God Bless America!

    MrBallbaggins on
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Same goes for age. Most guys really don't care nearly as much as everyone seems to assume we do.

    Oh yeah, most of this shit has a life of its own. Memes are the devil.

    Its funny, I see a role for government here that would have a lot of you screaming about social engineering. The state government here ran an ad campaign extolling the virtues of older employees because there was a lot of subtle age discrimination going on, and its apparently made quite a difference in hiring practices.

    The Cat on
    tmsig.jpg
  • ShintoShinto __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    The Cat will not abide snide put downs Nexus.
    monopoly_guy.jpg

    Shinto on
  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Regarding the male gaze thing maybe I should approach it less sarcastically. I get frustrated with that stuff because honestly it's used as a reason for everything. Just like every jackass who's taken psychology 101 whips out Freudian castration theory to explain every single thing men do. It's a canned answer that lacks any real depth or reasoning. No offense but that's my opinion on the matter.

    nexuscrawler on
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    CangoFett wrote: »
    You can fly anywhere in the US you want without ID, I believe. Though Ive only flown like once, and at the expense of my parents.

    However, with the RealID act, you will need to show your papers to even drive across state lines.

    If the RealID act passes, I will be one step closer to moving to Svalbard.
    You have not flown lately. You have ever since 9/11.

    You need a government-issued picture ID to fly within the U.S.

    Thanatos on
  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    but but snide putdowns are pretty much all I'm good at!

    *runs away crying*

    nexuscrawler on
  • ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I was reading about male gaze earlier today and now I can't remember why. I hate it when that happens.

    In the UK a little while ago, age discrimination was made illegal. In the same sense that sex and race discrimination are illegal; ie, mostly when hiring. How's that in Aus and the US?

    Æthelred on
    pokes: 1505 8032 8399
  • ShintoShinto __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    but but snide putdowns are pretty much all I'm good at!

    *runs away crying*

    Hey now, that's not true at all.

    You're not that good at snide putdowns.

    Shinto on
  • ShintoShinto __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    I was reading about male gaze earlier today and now I can't remember why. I hate it when that happens.

    In the UK a little while ago, age discrimination was made illegal. In the same sense that sex and race discrimination are illegal; ie, mostly when hiring. How's that in Aus and the US?

    I'm pretty sure it was written into the main anti-discrimination laws passed during the 70s.

    Shinto on
  • ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Shinto wrote: »
    I was reading about male gaze earlier today and now I can't remember why. I hate it when that happens.

    In the UK a little while ago, age discrimination was made illegal. In the same sense that sex and race discrimination are illegal; ie, mostly when hiring. How's that in Aus and the US?

    I'm pretty sure it was written into the main anti-discrimination laws passed during the 70s.

    Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967. You win this time, U.S.A.

    Æthelred on
    pokes: 1505 8032 8399
  • ShintoShinto __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    *struts*

    Shinto on
Sign In or Register to comment.