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Master and Apprentice

nakirushnakirush Registered User regular
edited October 2007 in Artist's Corner

As always, your comments and critiques are greatly appreciated!

nakirush on


  • no_toastno_toast Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I think the character in the front could use more contrast to increase the depth of the piece. The gradient sky or the pillars aren't my favourites either. Also the intensity of the pic could be improved by slighty tweakin the composition, Maybe adding more width and reducing the dull space on the top? Hope this helps :3

    no_toast on
  • DevKimikoDevKimiko Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    His hand in the foreground seems disproportionately large, even with foreshortening present (I assume his hands are normal proportions to what a human's would be, but since he has a slightly alien appearance correct me if I'm wrong). His hand looks about as long as his forearm at the moment. Also, the fingers look wrong, as if there were no bones in his thumb. I assume he has 4 finger+thumb, in which case the other two must be bent into his palm. With that hand pose there should be more of an angular definition of the thumb joints, especially near the wrist.

    Something like this (sorry, quick over-sketch...)


    Also, the angle of the lightsabre on that forearm has a discernable upward angle which isn't constant with the rest of the forearm angles; they're more front-on or slightly downward.

    I second Toast's composition comment. You could experiment in photoshop by cropping bits out and just playing around with where the eye is drawn to. I think you could get away with cutting off some of the top and left; just tightening it up so the focus is more on the characters and they fill the space more.

    The lighting in this is looking pretty good, nice sense of direction on the foreground guy (Though I do sense a glimmer of dodge+burn). Good luck with it~

    DevKimiko on
  • MykonosMykonos Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    holy crap that guy has a big hand! Either repaint it or cheat and use the lasso tool and scale it down a bit.

    Speakin of which, the orange lighting on the back of the head doesn't seem congruent with the fact that the hand is blocking parts of the secondary light source. - in otherwords, there should be a feint silloutte.

    Now, the left hand seems to be in a strained position in that's angled way too upward.

    Another thing you need to consider when designing characters is the practicality of the design itself. Although having a lightsaber on both wrists looks cool, he hands could easily be burnt off should they make the slightest bent backwards. Might I recommend painting in some protruding plate gaurdes to prevent such a contact from occuring?

    Mykonos on
    "I was born; six gun in my hand; behind the gun; I make my final stand"~Bad Company
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Ignoring the antomy flaws already pointed out, this piece still leaves me feeling unsatisfied.

    Your female character seems to fighting in some kind of elaborate dress, which just doesn't seem condusive to fighting. She also seems to have something strange going on between her neck and her head, like it's tilted too far forward.

    However the real problem here is the composition - it's not dynamic at all, and doesn't give a sense that a dramatic lightsaber battle is about to take place. The light reflections you have are a step in the right direction, but for something like this you want to make the lighting have a lot more contrast, with dark shadows emphasizing the glow of the sabers.

    The other compositional problem is that your background is almost entirely horizontal, but your characters are perpinducular to it. With nothing in between them to indicate depth, the perspective you have on the foreground character goes to waste.

    Brolo on
  • MykonosMykonos Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    just an observation, but the blue guy's flesh has a very plastic looking texture for some reason, i can't quite put my finger on in but something is just off...

    Mykonos on
    "I was born; six gun in my hand; behind the gun; I make my final stand"~Bad Company
  • 117Lei117Lei Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Your shading seems inconsistant. Some places have a cell shaded look (which kind of makes it look cartoony), while other places are so finely gradiated, it looks like it was a 3D model.

    Also, the chick as no eyes to speak of. Which is an infinitely greater handicap than an elaborate dress.

    Also, what is going on out there? The sky looks so dark, but the place they're fighting in is ridiculously well lit. Is there a giant spot light somewhere off to the right?

    117Lei on
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