Shiv's in the Bathroom all up ins (The Jail Thread)

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  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    i was watching a video in my criminal justice class today and they were talking to a guy who had a prison sentence of 625 years

    that's a lot of years

    There's a Carlin bit where he talks about a guy who's serving something like 7 life sentences and 3 death penalties.
    Obviously he's not going to finish that sentence.

    Me Too! on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn wrote: »
    I'm gonna break out of this cyber prison with a data file.

    Ahahahahaha

    that is delightful

    Abracadaniel on
  • Fort1tudeFort1tude Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    All sitting in her own private forum that no one else can post in. Talking to herself while a few view it and sigh because shes going crazy talking to herself. Then she befriends a cockroach and wacky hijinks occur.

    Fort1tude on
    Steam ID - Fort1tude
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Druhim wrote: »
    you should get a month added to your sentence just for that joke

    Fuck that. I want a public execution.

    Butters on
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  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    oh my god I want my own forum for just me that other people just look at.

    it would be the best

    Jordyn on
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  • Fort1tudeFort1tude Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    All running around the padded room with your bedsheet tied like a cape around your neck, saying "Fwoosh" and pretending you are flying.

    Fort1tude on
    Steam ID - Fort1tude
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Someone start a new thread, call it "Jordyn's Solitary Confinement Thread" and I will only post in that thread.

    Once every 150 seconds.

    Jordyn on
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  • Fort1tudeFort1tude Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jailed does not mean the same as oofda

    Fort1tude on
    Steam ID - Fort1tude
  • skinny87skinny87 Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    What did I say about the Spreader?

    Bend over

    skinny87 on
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    jordyn will only be able to post the sound effects of her bouncing a ball off the wall

    Nuzak on
  • Fort1tudeFort1tude Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Nuzak wrote: »
    jordyn will only be able to post the sound effects of her bouncing a ball off the wall

    that plus her sighing

    "Pewfta"

    Or whatever the fuck it is.

    Fort1tude on
    Steam ID - Fort1tude
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Like a mafia boss, I shall continue to operate my entire illegal business unimpeded from prison.

    Jordyn on
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  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn. they don't have cable or satalite in prison.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Nuzak wrote: »
    jordyn will only be able to post the sound effects of her bouncing a ball off the wall

    I guess the guards are rationing her ADHD medication.
    Jordyn. they don't have cable or satalite in prison.

    Satalite? Is that like a less fattening alternative to IDE?

    Butters on
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  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn. they don't have cable or satalite in prison.

    I don't have cable or satellite at my house either...

    also where is my solitary thread guys, c'mon

    Jordyn on
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  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn what is your illegal business

    Centipede Damascus on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn

    fight_the_power.gif

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis God is love Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    i nominate SOTAR to make the solitary confinement thread

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Man... I don't want to join Jordyn in the pokey.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn what is your illegal business

    I smuggle knowledge.

    I smuggle it to the people.

    Jordyn on
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  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    whoever does make it will be jailed, and have to share solitary with jordyn

    is that irony, i don't know

    Nuzak on
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn wrote: »
    Jordyn what is your illegal business

    I smuggle knowledge.

    I smuggle it to the people.

    you claim you are a political prisoner

    Nuzak on
  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Will the solitary thread have shit-smeared walls and the stench of madness?

    Wallhitter on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Shiv came in through the bathroom window

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Funny, I don't feel smarter

    Centipede Damascus on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Wallhitter wrote: »
    Will the solitary thread have shit-smeared walls and the stench of madness?

    worse

    Uriel's room.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I've been working out a lot since I've been in jail guys.

    Jordyn on
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  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2007
    Have you been making out with the guards for cigarettes?

    PotU on
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  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Wallhitter wrote: »
    Will the solitary thread have shit-smeared walls and the stench of madness?

    worse

    Uriel's room.

    Oh god.

    She'll suffocate on his semen-coated blubber.

    Wallhitter on
  • Fort1tudeFort1tude Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn

    fight_the_power.gif

    Are those power line towers or very stiff people with triangle pants and shirts?

    Fort1tude on
    Steam ID - Fort1tude
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2007
    hey Jordyn drop a knowledge bomb on us

    Druhim on
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  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    And while your at it, make us a nice Cabernet in your toilet.

    Butters on
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  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Druhim wrote: »
    hey Jordyn drop a knowledge bomb on us

    I wouldn't want to make you too smart, Druhim.

    Jordyn on
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  • TankTank Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I should be getting out of jail next week. I must say this experience has been annoying at most.

    Like ordering dinner at McDonald's, getting my food, and then driving half way home before realizing the bitches didn't put my fucking frys in the bag.

    Tank on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    My dad used to be a guard in a maximum security prison outside Ely, Nevada. Boy does HE have some rad stories.

    Metzger Meister on
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    So my older brother got arrested for public intoxication and had to go to jail/detox for 12 hours. The forms for booking someone aren't really set up for someone like my brother.

    "Level of education?"
    "PhD."
    "So...uh...diploma?"
    "*sigh* Yeah."
    "Where do you work?"
    "The Mayo Clinic."
    "Job title?"
    "I don't really have a job title..."
    "Well, something we can put down."
    "Ya know what, just put down 'scientist' ok?"
    "Oooh, I don't think we've had a scientist in here before."

    Jordyn on
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  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn do you have jailhouse blues?

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jordyn wrote: »
    I've been working out a lot since I've been in jail guys.

    681.jpg

    Jimothy on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's a story.


    There was this guy at the prison while my dad worked there. Vinny something. Guy was a roid rager, beat three dudes to death with his bare hands. Or bear hands, if you enjoy that mental picture.

    Anyway, this guy put his own eye out. I don't know the whole story, but one day the dude just lost his mind and jabbed his own eye out. Bit off his middle finger too, on account of a hangnail that was bothering him mightily.

    My mom was pregnant with me and ran right into this dude. All 6'8" of him. This guy did pushups in his cell, all day, that's it. 23 hour lockdown and he did pushups until it was lights out. So, my mom, seven or eight months pregnant with li'l ol' me, runs smack dab into his chest. Usually there's four guards walking in front, to either side, and behind him, but apparently something went awry.

    Anyway, the guy felt pretty bad about it. He knew my mom was Steve Leander's wife, so he said "Sorry Missus Leander. Are you okay?"

    Also, both of my uncles and their wives worked at the prison too.

    Metzger Meister on
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Can you have jailhouse bitters?

    Jordyn on
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