Shiv's in the Bathroom all up ins (The Jail Thread)

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  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Sure I guess you bitter harpy.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited November 2007
    so let's take a vote

    this is the worst thread in a while, and Jimmy is a horrible retard

    [ ] yes
    [ ] double yes

    Raneados on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    joke option larlar.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2007
    I vote quadruple negative

    Druhim on
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  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Oh hey, Rane, I just realized that your sig is from Howl's Moving Castle.

    Just saw that on Thanksgiving. It was pretty good.

    Jimothy on
  • Wedge BiggsWedge Biggs Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Mix a small coffee cup of Catchup Pruno with two shakes of Jail Bitters to make a Staircase Special.

    Wedge Biggs on
    I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it. - Artis Ivey Jr.
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's another story.


    So, back in the day there was this serial killer/rapist named Gerald Gallegos. Snatched girls from fairgrounds and carnivals, raped them, tortured them to death, and buried them in the desert in Nevada. Took my mom's best friend's older sister, as coincedence would have it.

    My dad shot him in the balls. The dude was being attacked by another prisoner due to the nature of his crimes, and when my dad and another officer came to break up the fight, Gallegos pulled a shiv on my dad. So, my dad jacked out the blank from his shotgun and bounced some birdshot off the concrete floor, right into the dude's nuts.

    Here's the best part; Gerald Gallegos died a few years ago of testicular cancer, from the one remaining ball he had after this particular incident. emot-awesome.gif

    Metzger Meister on
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I wish it was my job to shoot rapists in the nuts.

    ChicoBlue on
  • Wedge BiggsWedge Biggs Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's another story.


    So, back in the day there was this serial killer/rapist named Gerald Gallegos. Snatched girls from fairgrounds and carnivals, raped them, tortured them to death, and buried them in the desert in Nevada. Took my mom's best friend's older sister, as coincedence would have it.

    My dad shot him in the balls. The dude was being attacked by another prisoner due to the nature of his crimes, and when my dad and another officer came to break up the fight, Gallegos pulled a shiv on my dad. So, my dad jacked out the blank from his shotgun and bounced some birdshot off the concrete floor, right into the dude's nuts.

    Here's the best part; Gerald Gallegos died a few years ago of testicular cancer, from the one remaining ball he had after this particular incident. emot-awesome.gif

    Haha, sweet justice. Ironically, I'm a CO at our prison here, and there's only one guy that I really can't stand. http://www.mayhem.net/Crime/bar-jonah.html <--- This guy. Real piece of work. Quick, what's the worst thing you can do to a human being? Not rape. Not cannibalism. Not murder. This fuck raped a little boy to death, cut him up, cooked him, and fed him to a local church group. Guess who partook of this wonderful gathering? The friggin' kid's mom. She was all ready to prosecute this fuck up until the point when he told her that she had eaten her own son. Her mind did the polite and merciful thing and went batshit. She now thinks her little boy's running around her neighborhood, so she won't press murder/rape/cannibalism charges. This fucker never see's population, and never will. He'll die, probably from diabetes or Hep B/C or Aids slowly, 30-40 years from now. Our infirmary has promised to keep him alive as long as they can just to watch this fuck suffer.

    Wedge Biggs on
    I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it. - Artis Ivey Jr.
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's another one.


    Okay, so my dad was on the prison's riot/SWAT squad. Basically, when shit hit the fan, and it did rather a lot, my dad and a bunch of other leg-breakers were sent in to get the inmates to knock it the fuck off.


    So, there's a stabbing in the infirmary. My dad and the other guys high-tail it to the place, and one of the eight inmates in the room decides that locking the door from the inside, behind my dad and the two guys with him, was a good idea, sealing them inside in a fight with eight guys and barring other officers from entering if they didn't have a key.

    There's something you should know about my dad; he was a bad motherfucker. Was a certified instructor in self defense for the prison system and the use of the PR-24 riot baton.

    That's this guy. pr_24_baton.jpg

    Anyway, the other two guys with him were Johnny Olsen, a Mormon boy who was a giant brick of muscle, and Bill Palceski, a crazy survivalist who is a giant bear of a man. Now, they're faring well until my dad gets stabbed in the shoulder and tackled by two guys. Johnny loses his shit and goes into berserker mode, knees the dude directly on top of my dad in the temple, nearly kills him, then starts wailing on the other guy. Elbows, headbutts, knees, anything he can throw at this guy. After the fight, my dad was patched up and was no worse for wear, but Johnny was in the hallway with one of the inmates, taser-shielding him. Think of a riot shield with about 50,000 volts behind hit.


    Every couple of minutes all you hear would be KZZKZKZKZKZK and then "Holy shit, c'mere, check this out."

    The guy he was tasering had this greasy hair-product in, and archs of electricity were jumping from his hair to his ear.

    edit: Holy shit, Wedge... no way that guy can see gen-pop, they'd carve him up like a spiral ham.

    Metzger Meister on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I'm going to go edit posts just because I can.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I had a friend named Ramblin' Bob
    Who used to steal gamble and rob

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I bet you cannibal-rapists can't edit their posts.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited November 2007
    see that's why capital punishment is fine

    who wants to pay to keep this dude alive?

    raise your hand

    Raneados on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Butters wrote: »
    I had a friend named Ramblin' Bob
    Who used to steal gamble and rob

    He thought he was the smartest guy arooound.

    Metzger Meister on
  • Wedge BiggsWedge Biggs Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Raneados wrote: »
    see that's why capital punishment is fine

    who wants to pay to keep this dude alive?

    raise your hand

    Oooh, capital punishment is live and well up here, but he wasn't convicted of the cannibalism part because the mother won't prosecute.I want this fucker alive anyhow, just so I can see the light go out of his eyes. BTW, he gets lots of mail. And he sends out recipes to his fans. He doesn't write "Human flesh" or "Child Kidney" in the recipe. He just highlights the word "Veal" in his letters.

    Wedge Biggs on
    I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it. - Artis Ivey Jr.
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Raneados wrote: »
    see that's why capital punishment is fine

    who wants to pay to keep this dude alive?

    raise your hand
    Oh come on, I'm sure he just had a rough childhood.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    See, that's what I don't get, man; how do these people have a fan club?



    "Can someone read the minutes of the last "Child-fucking Cannibal Piece of Shit Fan Club" back, please?"

    Metzger Meister on
  • tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Raneados wrote: »
    see that's why capital punishment is fine

    who wants to pay to keep this dude alive?

    raise your hand

    i just think we could put these kind of people to better use

    like making them do gladiatorial combat in a ring of fire

    tsplitter on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    tsplitter wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    see that's why capital punishment is fine

    who wants to pay to keep this dude alive?

    raise your hand

    i just think we could put these kind of people to better use

    like making them do gladiatorial combat in a ring of tigers

    Metzger Meister on
  • Wedge BiggsWedge Biggs Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    See, that's what I don't get, man; how do these people have a fan club?



    "Can someone read the minutes of the last "Child-fucking Cannibal Piece of Shit Fan Club" back, please?"

    Yeah, I fucking know. That's why I want him to live long enough to be forgotten. Then he can die. Not before.

    Wedge Biggs on
    I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it. - Artis Ivey Jr.
  • tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    See, that's what I don't get, man; how do these people have a fan club?



    "Can someone read the minutes of the last "Child-fucking Cannibal Piece of Shit Fan Club" back, please?"

    Yeah, I fucking know. That's why I want him to live long enough to be forgotten. Then he can die. Not before.

    i remember hearing about some serial killer in Japan was sent to a rehabilitation clinic to cure him of his crazy

    when he was pronounced legally sane, they killed him

    tsplitter on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's a question:

    If you had to be executed, how would you like to go? Only valid forms of execution in the United States count.

    Firing Squad? Hanging? Lethal Injection? Electric Chair? Me, I'd go with the firing squad... it's just cool.

    Metzger Meister on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Give me Electric Chair. Because Ride the Lightning was a good album.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • Wedge BiggsWedge Biggs Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's a question:

    If you had to be executed, how would you like to go? Only valid forms of execution in the United States count.

    Firing Squad? Hanging? Lethal Injection? Electric Chair? Me, I'd go with the firing squad... it's just cool.

    Hanging. I'd be doing neck crunches from day 1 of my incarceration if I knew that shit was coming. I want a messy hanging.

    Wedge Biggs on
    I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it. - Artis Ivey Jr.
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Give me Electric Chair. Because Ride the Lightning was a good album.
    Please God help me,
    They're trying to take it all away

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I don't want to die

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    oh man, some of the botched firing squad excecutions in the world wars

    funny but also sad and you learn something as well

    Nuzak on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's a question:

    If you had to be executed, how would you like to go? Only valid forms of execution in the United States count.

    Firing Squad? Hanging? Lethal Injection? Electric Chair? Me, I'd go with the firing squad... it's just cool.

    Hanging. I'd be doing neck crunches from day 1 of my incarceration if I knew that shit was coming. I want a messy hanging.

    Heh. Popping off of the head would so get you yelled at by someone.

    "Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell was all that goddamnit I hate you you're fired."

    Technically though... that would be a succesful execution.

    Metzger Meister on
  • tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I don't want to die

    I sometimes wish Id never been born at all

    tsplitter on
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  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Itallics.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    tsplitter wrote: »
    I don't want to die

    I sometimes wish Id never been born at all

    Mama... just killed a man.

    Metzger Meister on
  • tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Itallics.

    are for pussies

    tsplitter on
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  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Give me Electric Chair. Because Ride the Lightning was a good album.

    It was but I can't listen to it anymore. Metallica did everything they could to make themselves look like giant pussies over the last decade. They should be denied royalties from all their badass shit from back in the day.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
  • DrIanMalcolmDrIanMalcolm Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    No touching!

    DrIanMalcolm on
  • Wedge BiggsWedge Biggs Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's a question:

    If you had to be executed, how would you like to go? Only valid forms of execution in the United States count.

    Firing Squad? Hanging? Lethal Injection? Electric Chair? Me, I'd go with the firing squad... it's just cool.

    Hanging. I'd be doing neck crunches from day 1 of my incarceration if I knew that shit was coming. I want a messy hanging.

    Heh. Popping off of the head would so get you yelled at by someone.

    "Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell was all that goddamnit I hate you you're fired."

    Technically though... that would be a succesful execution.

    GIS, safesearch off, for hanging head "pop off". Heh.

    Wedge Biggs on
    I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it. - Artis Ivey Jr.
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited November 2007
    every metallica song since Motorbreath has sucked in comparison to Motorbreath.

    Rankenphile on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Here's a question:

    If you had to be executed, how would you like to go? Only valid forms of execution in the United States count.

    Firing Squad? Hanging? Lethal Injection? Electric Chair? Me, I'd go with the firing squad... it's just cool.

    Hanging. I'd be doing neck crunches from day 1 of my incarceration if I knew that shit was coming. I want a messy hanging.

    Heh. Popping off of the head would so get you yelled at by someone.

    "Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell was all that goddamnit I hate you you're fired."

    Technically though... that would be a succesful execution.

    GIS, safesearch off, for hanging head "pop off". Heh.

    Is that Saddam? :D

    Metzger Meister on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Motorbreath was allright but there are better Metallica songs (Like Creeping Death)

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Master of Puppets is the best Metallica song.

    Penguin Incarnate on
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