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my jeep should be dead
potatoe
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
so, i drive a '98 jeep cherokee sport. it's nothing too fancy; real wheel drive, no anti-lock breaks, and just a little bit of pressure on gas pedal gives you a lot of power...perfect for driving in michigan's winter (ha).
here's the situation, i'm about 50 miles from my apartment, so there's no one near by that i really know, driving around some country roads moving some furniture for my parents while they are out of town. nothing too exciting, right?
i'm being careful to choose the safest path to where i need to go, making sure to pick the roads that have been plowed and look pretty clean, and i'm doing a pretty good job of it...up to a point. okay, we all love pictures, right? here's a diagram of what i had thrown at me:
as you can see, there is a long stretch of packed snow (that's that really light blue stuff in the diagram), an oncoming car, ditches on either side of the road (about 3-3.5 feet deep), and a small access to the field on my side of the road. this is where the fun is. directly in front of me comes this bigass dog. motherfucker came out of nowhere directly into the road. now, my natural reaction is to quick hit the breaks and swerve. haha, bad idea. as discussed, my jeep has no anti-lock breaks, so i start spinnin' like a motherfucker.
let's pause here.
there are two options for me, try to stay on the road and probably take out both the dog and the oncoming car as well as myself, or head for the ditch and hope for the best. the third option of straightening out the jeep and staying on the road isn't really an option at this point as i was going about 50 when i went into the spin, and i'm still going pretty damn fast.
my choice was the ditch, since i found no need to take out another car.
here's where i am faced with another decision; how the fuck do i go into the ditch and not fucking kill myself? then i notice the little access path to the field, a blessing or a curse? if i nose into the ditch going sideways and hit that thing, i'm gunna roll my fucking jeep and end up in a world of pain...fuck that noise.
so i fucking floor it to get my tail behind me and aim for the fucking access. my left tire managed to not go into the ditch, but my right side dipped right on in. down goes the right, and half a second later it flies fucking up again as it hits the other side of the ditch. as i pass over the access, my left side dives into the ditch, then flies right back out. my jeep is just spent the last second or so both on and off the ground, throwing me fucking left and right, and trying it's damndest to flip itself over. but, by some sort of miracle, i am now in the field, slowly moving forward, on right side up and facing forward.
"why the fuck aren't i stopping? did i fuck my breaks?" i ask myself.
no, i still have my foot on the gas. i slam the breaks, turn off the jeep, and pop the hood, expecting to see a complete fucking mess of smoke and metal and god knows, maybe a dog (no, the dog got away).
here's the amazing part. the jeep looks fine. i got down on my hands and knees and looked under it, and apart from some snow and dirt packed onto the underbelly at parts, i see nothing wrong.
haha, there no chance it's fine, right? so i start the bitch up, and it comes to life! i carefully pop it into drive and attempt to drive off...nothing happens. oh fuck me it is dead. fuck it, does reverse work? mother fucking jesus christ it's alive! i back up a bit, then try drive again, and i'm good to go. i inch off the field, and continue on to my destination. praying to every god i can think of to please make my jeep be okay.
2 hours and 70 miles later, i'm back in my apartment, still a bit shaken, and fucking scared that i'm going to wake up and my jeep will have blown up overnight...but i am in one piece.
somebody upstairs must like me
jeeps are built like fucking tanks.
here's the situation, i'm about 50 miles from my apartment, so there's no one near by that i really know, driving around some country roads moving some furniture for my parents while they are out of town. nothing too exciting, right?
i'm being careful to choose the safest path to where i need to go, making sure to pick the roads that have been plowed and look pretty clean, and i'm doing a pretty good job of it...up to a point. okay, we all love pictures, right? here's a diagram of what i had thrown at me:
as you can see, there is a long stretch of packed snow (that's that really light blue stuff in the diagram), an oncoming car, ditches on either side of the road (about 3-3.5 feet deep), and a small access to the field on my side of the road. this is where the fun is. directly in front of me comes this bigass dog. motherfucker came out of nowhere directly into the road. now, my natural reaction is to quick hit the breaks and swerve. haha, bad idea. as discussed, my jeep has no anti-lock breaks, so i start spinnin' like a motherfucker.
let's pause here.
there are two options for me, try to stay on the road and probably take out both the dog and the oncoming car as well as myself, or head for the ditch and hope for the best. the third option of straightening out the jeep and staying on the road isn't really an option at this point as i was going about 50 when i went into the spin, and i'm still going pretty damn fast.
my choice was the ditch, since i found no need to take out another car.
here's where i am faced with another decision; how the fuck do i go into the ditch and not fucking kill myself? then i notice the little access path to the field, a blessing or a curse? if i nose into the ditch going sideways and hit that thing, i'm gunna roll my fucking jeep and end up in a world of pain...fuck that noise.
so i fucking floor it to get my tail behind me and aim for the fucking access. my left tire managed to not go into the ditch, but my right side dipped right on in. down goes the right, and half a second later it flies fucking up again as it hits the other side of the ditch. as i pass over the access, my left side dives into the ditch, then flies right back out. my jeep is just spent the last second or so both on and off the ground, throwing me fucking left and right, and trying it's damndest to flip itself over. but, by some sort of miracle, i am now in the field, slowly moving forward, on right side up and facing forward.
"why the fuck aren't i stopping? did i fuck my breaks?" i ask myself.
no, i still have my foot on the gas. i slam the breaks, turn off the jeep, and pop the hood, expecting to see a complete fucking mess of smoke and metal and god knows, maybe a dog (no, the dog got away).
here's the amazing part. the jeep looks fine. i got down on my hands and knees and looked under it, and apart from some snow and dirt packed onto the underbelly at parts, i see nothing wrong.
haha, there no chance it's fine, right? so i start the bitch up, and it comes to life! i carefully pop it into drive and attempt to drive off...nothing happens. oh fuck me it is dead. fuck it, does reverse work? mother fucking jesus christ it's alive! i back up a bit, then try drive again, and i'm good to go. i inch off the field, and continue on to my destination. praying to every god i can think of to please make my jeep be okay.
2 hours and 70 miles later, i'm back in my apartment, still a bit shaken, and fucking scared that i'm going to wake up and my jeep will have blown up overnight...but i am in one piece.
somebody upstairs must like me
jeeps are built like fucking tanks.
potatoe on
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glad you are okay man
so to avoid it he spins the fuck out and nearly flips the bitch twice and goes off into a field
glad he didnt hit me
STEAM!
What town are you living in now?
grand rapids area
this happened out in the whitehall/montague area on the west side of michigan
they are pretty rugged
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Your girlfriend or the jeep?
Got that beat'd. My old man's Blazer has 320,000 miles on it. It's a 2000.
i am now convinced i could drive this thing off a cliff and survive
Lets be Jeep buds!
All talkin' bout off roading and saving damsels stuck in ditches with our mighty four wheel drive!
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my sister's friend's dad drives a ford focus, so whenever he sees another ford focus on the road he says "BFF!" (Brother Ford Focus)
so whenever i am driving with my sister i yell out "BJs!" when i see a jeep
this might be funnier if you have the sense of humor of a 10 year old
Course at the rate your dad is driving, the Blazer will beat her jeep soon.
Spoilered picture for kinda bigness.
you're just disappointed that i didn't die
mine has seen better days
the front passenger side window is off track, so we had to disconnect it (otherwise if you accidentally roll it down the entire glass panel slides into the door)
also it started making this weird sound like a whale when in reverse
and someone tried to break in, prying away the metal around one of the doorlocks, but apparently could not get in and gave up
despite all that and being a decade old, she runs absolutely fine
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That is amazing
oh fuck i knew i forgot something
Holy shit I would fuck your mouth for that car.
Yeah that's 45k a year and it's all highway miles. The engine is surprisingly healthy and I wouldn't be surprised if it went another 100k before it finally dies.
and it was a 2 mph collision
STEAM!
And I'm glad you didn't hit the dog
I'm happy you're not dead, if that helps.
Except I was going about 60mph down a 2 lane highway late at night. Tire blew out and sent me out of control. Before I knew what happened we flew across to the opposite ditch (which is a huge 6-7ft slope ditch) and hit that ditch flipping the car end over end. As the car was upside down in its flip, the back end slammed into a tree, wrapping the car trunk around the tree and somehow we landed lying on the passenger side of the car.
I had a pretty bad concussion and when I came to in the car I immediately took my seatbelt off (keep in mind car is lying on the passenger side) so I immediately fall about 4 feet down. I was dazed so I didn't really realize what I did and why I fell.
My two friends were thrown out of the car since they didn't have a seatbelt on, one was slung into a tree but was fine. So was the other.
I am glad you are ok
He has a ton of classic cars actually. I think I might be getting the teal '56 chevy malibu one day.
Still needs work. There's rust that needs to be cut out and that means body work, needs a new front and rear end (I'm hot-rodding the shit out of the ol' girl, but keeping the chopping to a minimum), gonna buy a Turnkey LQ9 with some help from my grandpa and step-dad. My grand-dad owns a wrecking yard, and my step-dad has been a mechanic his whole life. My step-brother just graduated from Wyotec and he's excited as hell to help me out.
The kicker? That car only cost my dad $2500.
edit: Also; the interior needs to be rehauled completely. No door-panels ftl.
yeah, i guess i'm glad i didn't hit that damned dog, too
but i now have one more reason to hate dogs
nah, I just grew up in a land where kids would leave their rolled cars on the side of the road and walk to school. Some friends of mine went off the road in a snow storm last winter and hit a tree so hard that it tore the trunk off of their car.
I was pissed because I had to go out of my way to pick them up.
Also, it looks like we're going to release our album for purchasable download soon, and the actual CD will be available in January.
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hooray!
He did that in the rain one night in a relatively empty parking lot.
Slid the thing into a parked dump truck. Everyone knows the older Cherokees are pretty damn boxy. The jeep was literally half of what it was. The entire passenger side was crushed in.
Dump truck was fine.
Thing is invincible. Damn glad I'm out of the fucking cold though, so I'll probably trade it in on a new Charger.
it was 70 today.
it's December 8th.
hahaha
It's almost the middle of December and it's still about 80 degrees here.