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Bathroom "stage fright"
blue powder
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I seem to have an odd problem when it comes to urinating in public places, especially clubs/bars/parties etc. And it's not only when I'm drinking, it's also in like park rest rooms. It seems to occur when I think someone is waiting for me and they have the mentality that I'm taking too long.
For example when in a club jsut the other week I needed to urinate, so I went to the bathroom (I simply cannot use urinals as the pressure is too great) and there is only ever one cubicle, so I used that but because there is a line of people I couldn't do it, I'd just fucking stand there, and I'd have to wak out without going and this would become discomforting after a while so I'll keep going back and wait till it's empty.
When there are more than one cubicle I'm okay becuase I know no one will be waiting solely on me... So iI'm convinced this is entirely mental, does anyone else experience this, or have they and managed to overcome it? I feel it's something I should really overcome. A little bit embarassing, but thanks for any advice in advance.
For example when in a club jsut the other week I needed to urinate, so I went to the bathroom (I simply cannot use urinals as the pressure is too great) and there is only ever one cubicle, so I used that but because there is a line of people I couldn't do it, I'd just fucking stand there, and I'd have to wak out without going and this would become discomforting after a while so I'll keep going back and wait till it's empty.
When there are more than one cubicle I'm okay becuase I know no one will be waiting solely on me... So iI'm convinced this is entirely mental, does anyone else experience this, or have they and managed to overcome it? I feel it's something I should really overcome. A little bit embarassing, but thanks for any advice in advance.
blue powder on
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Once it starts to flow, I'm in the clear. Sometimes getting things moving is a bit tough, though.
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i used to have a pretty severe case of it
in order to distract myself i once dropped my bus pass behind the toilet and imagined a scenario in which the bus pass was irretrievable, or horribly wet with horrible substances, or somehow fell down a crack, or whatever, and basically it pulled my attention away from the incredible over-enhanced awareness of my muscles unable to relax, and into a larger, more important "problem" that i had constructed
other times i would imagine an essay i had due the next day, or that i left my wallet on the table and someone was going to steal my credit card or something
anything to pull you out of your ultra-awareness of your own physicality that tenses you up imperceptibly.
But when I have to take a crap, I loathe farting. I mean, the bathroom stall is probably one of the most acceptable places to toot, but I just can't do it. I wait until everyone's gone or until something loud is happening, like a flushing toilet or a loud hand dryer.
I figured that I got this because when I was younger, I went to a private school, and it was really small, so there was one bathroom for my class, just a single toilet, faucet, etc. After I take a shit, the next person would complain loudly about the smell when going in, and then announce it after they got done. It was really embarrassing for me, especially when it was a girl.
But then I said to myself those people can shove it and stick their noses up my ass, because if I have to take a shit comfortably, nothing is going to stop me, because honestly, shitting/pissing feels so good. And it doesn't matter if I fart or not, because shit will smell like shit. I figured that shitting/pissing could be an opportunity to relieve myself both physically and mentally. I'd just sit/stand and enjoy the moment, think about nothing but how relaxing this moment is. After I figured that out, I farted in the restroom as much as I wanted while taking a crap, and no one complained. I even got some compliments.
Also, you could man up and just do what you gotta do. Because relieving yourself is a very important bodily function, and it could be really uncomfortable holding it in, and even dangerous. Sometimes people would stare at me if I just grab my little sister (I would be around 18, she'd be around 12), and take her to the men's bathroom, because when she has to go tinkle, she has to go tinkle. If people actually bitch at you if you "take a long time", which you probably don't, because you're just taking a piss, then they're either retarded and should be ignored, or they really have to go. If they really do have to go, hurry up as much as possible, but finish. It's not your fault they have to go so bad. I just tell them "Seriously, are you going to start a fight over going to the bathroom? It's pretty stupid."
....what?
Seconded... o_O
But as far as the OP goes this is the same as any problem with your penis, anxiety makes it stop working completly so just don't think about it so much. I know saying that is crappy advicxe but it is literally the only thing that will work.
For me, the solution was to simply leave, go back in 10 minutes, and go into a stall and sit down. It's a little embarrassing the first time or two, but it's much easier to urinate when you're sitting. Oddly enough this has helped my generally shy bladder overall, so it's less of an issue nowadays.
I think if I made a serious effort, I'd have to start with standing in stalls, taking long relaxing breaths, and think of something that takes a lot of my concentration.
I swear the people who design stalls also design opera houses and symphony halls, because the acoustics are just insane. It can sound like the battle for Fallujah if you've had a bad night of Taco Bell or something.
that's pretty weird.
Basically.
I physically cannot urinate with another person in the same room, unless it's something like a concert where there's perpetually a full bathroom, but even then I have to be in a stall with my bladder about to burst. It's an inconvenience, but no matter what I've tried I can't get around it. I can really have to piss, but if I try to use an open urinal in a busy bathroom I would be able to stand there for 10 minutes and nothing would happen.
I should note that while this suggestion has helped me immensely, it doesn't work 100% of the time. Three years later though and I have become noticably better at being able to use a urinal when not totally alone. I will still generally use a stall if one is available though, and if anyone says shit I bluntly inform them that I enjoy my illusion of privacy while pissing (it's amazing how fast a frank comment about bodily functions will shut up an idiot who thought he was about to be clever).
Sometimes I try to visualize watery imagery and so forth.
Sometimes I just say screw it and come back later.
I usually hit a stall if I have that option.
For me, really, the biggest issue is if I'm already urinating, and then someone sidles up next to me.
And oh fuck sometimes they start talking.
Of interest to you might be an article on this subject over at Kuro5hin.org.
Reminds of a conversation I once had with some buddies on the subject - there is a well known toilet humour questionnaire based on which urinal you would pick to use given certain circumstances - it was kinda based around the psychology of peeing and such, and despite being comedy, it was quite interesting.
[] [] []
So they are the 3 empty ones, which would you pick? And of course you should pick the middle one, to make the next person who comes in feel self concious about which one they pick.
Or
[x] [] [] []
Where the X is occupied - most people would go to the far right to be as far away from the other "pisser" as possible, but in fact you should choose the one 2nd from the right, so the next person in has a hard choice to make...