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First date help!

RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
edited June 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
So, lemme preface this by saying that it's been a long long time since I been on a first date. Usually girls that I end up dating we meet through mutual friends, and hang out with them then one of us goes to the others house for make out time :winky:.

But this girl I'm taking out tonight is somewhat of a blind date. I just started talking to her yesterday. I've not met her yet, and we basically started talking through my aunt (She works for my aunt, and my aunt likes her). I was going to take her to a minor league baseball game here in Chattanooga, but it looks like it's about to rain so the game would be cancelled and would kind of suck to get rained on like that.

I asked her if there's something else she wants to do (we work for the same company, just different buildings, so we talk through e-mail) and she said she doesn't care. I don't want to pick something cliche like going to a restaurant, and I think a movie is a bad first date since you can't really talk and get to know the person more, so I need help. Any good ideas anyone can think of? Also, if you're familiar with the area that I live in -- Chattanooga -- please recommend something that's unique to this area.

Thanks!

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Ryadic on

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  • amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Ryadic wrote: »
    So, lemme preface this by saying that it's been a long long time since I been on a first date. Usually girls that I end up dating we meet through mutual friends, and hang out with them then one of us goes to the others house for make out time :winky:.

    But this girl I'm taking out tonight is somewhat of a blind date. I just started talking to her yesterday. I've not met her yet, and we basically started talking through my aunt (She works for my aunt, and my aunt likes her). I was going to take her to a minor league baseball game here in Chattanooga, but it looks like it's about to rain so the game would be cancelled and would kind of suck to get rained on like that.

    I asked her if there's something else she wants to do (we work for the same company, just different buildings, so we talk through e-mail) and she said she doesn't care. I don't want to pick something cliche like going to a restaurant, and I think a movie is a bad first date since you can't really talk and get to know the person more, so I need help. Any good ideas anyone can think of? Also, if you're familiar with the area that I live in -- Chattanooga -- please recommend something that's unique to this area.

    Thanks!

    aquarium and/or imax man

    I know it's corny, but it would be a great icebreaker for a first date.

    edit: I don't know if it's still there, but I remember a good little diner close to the aquarium, but I don't recall the name. You could have a light meal, and do the walk and talk and look at the fishies.

    amateurhour on
    are YOU on the beer list?
  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I thought about that, but it closes at 6 and she gets off work at 6. Can't do that =\.

    Ryadic on
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  • amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Ryadic wrote: »
    I thought about that, but it closes at 6 and she gets off work at 6. Can't do that =\.

    hmm.. there's a lot of good music clubs downtown. I'm more used to Nashville now, so I don't remember what they are, but take her out for some live music.

    amateurhour on
    are YOU on the beer list?
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sure, going to a restaurant is standard, but talking face to face for an extended period of time seems like a much better first date than an activity that impedes talking, especially when it's blind.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • DocDoc Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    Septus wrote: »
    Sure, going to a restaurant is standard, but talking face to face for an extended period of time seems like a much better first date than an activity that impedes talking, especially when it's blind.

    I've always found that unless you really hit it off, a restaurant is a pretty horrible first date, as even if you are only getting along okay, there are lots of lulls in the conversation that can be pretty awkward.

    Are you 21? You could just go for drinks, that's a bit better.

    Doc on
  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Doc wrote: »
    Septus wrote: »
    Sure, going to a restaurant is standard, but talking face to face for an extended period of time seems like a much better first date than an activity that impedes talking, especially when it's blind.

    I've always found that unless you really hit it off, a restaurant is a pretty horrible first date, as even if you are only getting along okay, there are lots of lulls in the conversation that can be pretty awkward.

    Are you 21? You could just go for drinks, that's a bit better.

    I agree with you on the awkward part as well. Plus I'm on a diet, so I can't really eat food at a restaurant so that may make her uncomfortable.

    She's 21, I'm 23. I can't drink on my diet either, but I may actually be more up for this than going to eat, because it will help relax us both so we're not so nervous.

    I did like the live music idea suggestion too. I'll look into that more.

    Ryadic on
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  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Doc wrote: »
    Septus wrote: »
    Sure, going to a restaurant is standard, but talking face to face for an extended period of time seems like a much better first date than an activity that impedes talking, especially when it's blind.

    I've always found that unless you really hit it off, a restaurant is a pretty horrible first date, as even if you are only getting along okay, there are lots of lulls in the conversation that can be pretty awkward.

    Are you 21? You could just go for drinks, that's a bit better.

    Well, I think a date in general, that isn't set up to be brief, is a bad idea here, and I will admit that I've never been on a blind date, and since I've known the girls beforehand(at least briefly) the conversation was smooth. I think I'd ideally recommend meeting for drink and/or coffee to get a feel for her, and leaving time open to move on to dinner later.
    Ryadic wrote: »
    Plus I'm on a diet, so I can't really eat food at a restaurant so that may make her uncomfortable.

    Aha, that certainly makes things tougher.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Lookup and see if there are any salsa clubs or something in Chatanooga. It doesn't have to be salsa.

    Malkor on
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  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Yeah, not so much with the dancing suggestion. :P Thanks though.

    I've been talking to her a lot since yesterday. We seem to get along very well, granted it is just through e-mail and texts. So, I think that no matter what I do end up doing, we will have a good time. I just want something that is unique, you know? I got about 2 and 1/2 hours left before I leave work, and the sky is looking like it's clearing up outside so it may not end up raining.

    I appreciate all the suggestions so far.

    Ryadic on
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  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2008
    Any date involving food is probably a bad idea if she's going to be the only one eating. A lot of people feel strange eating with someone they don't know if that person has nothing to do but watch.

    Talking about cheesy as hell, if there's a park anywhere near you, you guys could go for a walk, or even just a sit. It should be nice this time of year, not to mention free.

    You also may be able to find someplace that serves something your diet would allow, depending on how strict the diet is. I'm not talking about for a whole meal, but maybe a very quick bite to eat.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    The fact that you're averse to movies makes sense, but it also means that going to a club or to music has the same problem -- difficult to talk to your date, and if one of you isn't having fun you're "stuck."

    There's a block here in Baltimore that has a crepe place, a tapas restaurant, and a movie theater all next to each other that is essentially the "perfect" first date spot. Why? Because you can meet at the crepe place and grab something to eat that's going to taste good, it's quick, and you can see if you hit it off. If you're having a good time, you can head to the restaurant or go see an artsy movie. But the crepe place is the starting point because it serves as a jumping off point that's quick and with low commitment value.

    In other words, going somewhere that's quick but classy is a great way to start a date with someone you don't know because you can bail after 45 minutes or whatever if it's not working. But because it's short-term you can still plan the evening with the person if you DO like them.

    So a non-chain coffee house might be a good bet, or a similar "food that is fast that isn't fast food" place. More importantly, you can have a list of a few things you think would be OK that you can then discuss face to face. Most people say they "don't care" what they do, but almost everyone actually DOES care what they do. Maybe a movie will be out that she actually really wants to see, or you'll discover that she's really into being outdoors and you can go for a walk somewhere. Try to come up with a list of, say, 5-6 things that you personally would like to do with friends, and then plan to meet somewhere so you can get to meet each other and, if things are going well, propose to do stuff that's on your list. She may have a list as well.

    EggyToast on
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  • MikeMcSomethingMikeMcSomething Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Do you live near a comedy club?

    It's usually not that expensive

    MikeMcSomething on
  • SakebombSakebomb Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Do you live near a comedy club?

    It's usually not that expensive

    This.
    Nothing helps build chemisty like sharing a few laughs.
    Failing that, Lazer Tag, mini golf and the driving range have a golden track record for me.

    Sakebomb on
  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Do you live near a comedy club?

    It's usually not that expensive

    Yeah, we do, but they only have shows on the weekend. I just searched that too, and if tonight goes well, I'll take her there some weekend.

    I also liked the park suggestion, and we may eventually do that, but if it doesn't rain we already have a date planned.

    Ryadic on
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  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2008
    A comedy club is hit-or-miss, and while over time a mismatched sense of humor probably won't break a relationship, it can kill it dead at the start if one person rofls at something the other person finds even vaguely offensive.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    How 'bout a batting cage?

    Malkor on
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  • SamuelSamuel Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I was in pretty much this exact situation about a week ago when I asked out a complete stranger on a whim. I just took her to a quiet café with a really nice atmosphere and we drank some tea and wine for a few hours.

    As long as you're fairly confident with your conversational skills and know of a nice place, it's pretty perfect first date stuff.

    Samuel on
  • SakebombSakebomb Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    ceres wrote: »
    A comedy club is hit-or-miss, and while over time a mismatched sense of humor probably won't break a relationship, it can kill it dead at the start if one person rofls at something the other person finds even vaguely offensive.

    True, but thats a great way to gauge the others sense of humor/lack therof.

    Like with me, the more offensive the joke the better 8-). If Im at a show with a date and she gets all uptight about it, then *bingo* I just found out things arent gonna work between us.

    Sakebomb on
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2008
    Sakebomb wrote: »
    ceres wrote: »
    A comedy club is hit-or-miss, and while over time a mismatched sense of humor probably won't break a relationship, it can kill it dead at the start if one person rofls at something the other person finds even vaguely offensive.

    True, but thats a great way to gauge the others sense of humor/lack therof.

    Like with me, the more offensive the joke the better 8-). If Im at a show with a date and she gets all uptight about it, then *bingo* I just found out things arent gonna work between us.
    Well, I probably should have said "slightly mismatched." ;)

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sakebomb wrote: »
    ceres wrote: »
    A comedy club is hit-or-miss, and while over time a mismatched sense of humor probably won't break a relationship, it can kill it dead at the start if one person rofls at something the other person finds even vaguely offensive.

    True, but thats a great way to gauge the others sense of humor/lack therof.

    Like with me, the more offensive the joke the better 8-). If Im at a show with a date and she gets all uptight about it, then *bingo* I just found out things arent gonna work between us.

    That's a good point. I have a strong sense of humor and love to laugh. I doubt I could be with someone that doesn't get my sense of humor or share it. But if everything else works out, then I'm sure we could both look past this.

    Ryadic on
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  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2008
    That's pretty much what I'm saying though.. it's better if other things work out first. Then when you try to look past these small differences, there will already be something there worth seeing. :)

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • SakebombSakebomb Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Well stated. Let us know how it goes Ryadic!

    Sakebomb on
  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Thank you all for the responses. It's not raining outside, and looks like it will stay nice so we're going to the baseball game. I will definitely be using some of the other suggestions here in the future if things go well between us. I'm leaving work to get ready, and I'll let you all know how it goes.

    Once again, I appreciate the help. :)

    Ryadic on
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  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Yeah, so it went very well last night. She's really cute and a lot of fun. We ended up leaving the baseball game early because they were getting killed. We went to Chili's to get something to eat and I think that was fine afterwards because we were pretty comfortable around each other.

    Thanks again for all the advice, and I think it will come in handy in the future!

    Ryadic on
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  • SakebombSakebomb Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    /appluad

    Sakebomb on
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2008
    Glad things went well. :D

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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