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fuck that, I'm flexin'
World as Myth
a breezy way to annoy serious peopleRegistered User regular
a breezy way to annoy serious peopleRegistered User regular
it was just one of those sexy-ass sunday nights
I was drinking ghetto blasters all by myself
my girlfriend momo, who is way too young for me anyway, was in missouri visiting her parents
I knew I was gonna break it off with her when she got back to school, and I started thinking about all the sex that happens at every second around the world -- I mean right now people are out there, just... just going into each other
wearing out their knees. and I wanted to be one of 'em! so I said "fuck it" and went right down to the science department's big oppenheimer pinata party
there I was: whipping out fliff like a sultan! buying everyone whatever the fuck they desired
even trevor
oh and -- aw, shit man, aw listen, for real here
you know those hot quantum girls? they were laughing! because of me, man! causing them pleasure was killing me
and all those string theory dudes were there and they were way thrilled to see me
(even the one with the cheeto teeth?)
no, he was, well, y
but you know, lemondrops was cool for a change
(oh yeah. lemondrops.)
anyway, imagine me -- fliff! fliff! not even countin' it! and we danced, like those people in the hyper-tight light of fried chicken commercials
I was perfect. I was important, and funny, and helpful and seemingly rich, and I had the body of a heavy lifter!
it was like the part in the movies when the hero shows up at the end to get his hard-earned medal, and all his enemies in the crowd start to shrug off their grudges as they crack slow smiles, clapping their asses off for him! YEAH! man.
but right then, a fat hippie broke into a blistering james taylor cover, and I felt, down in my brain's heart, that the evening was about to shift into shittiness.
god. the world got mean really fast. death was hanging out, his buddies were there, hippies started pouring in, the girls were gone, and I was no one to everyone
I looked down, and I had the body... of a heavy reader
it makes you wonder if I was ever cool in the first place
(not me)
then, I blacked out for a bit
(natch)
woke up in a bar, watching a couple of striptease falcons
hating sex
hating booze
blacked out again, woke up in a car that was tokyo drifting everywhere
the driver was a punisher: a punisher of eyes. she whistled a john cage song and started asking me about wolves' balls. she presented a flask, and I took an oblivion-seeking slurp. immediately the potion made me wanna fuck stuff that I had never wanted to fuck before -- namely, her
she might have been a hellcattin' angel... or a really patient demon, because I could maybe see the light coming out through the seams in her human costume.
blacked out again, woke up in grappler school, wolfed some cookies, and I willed myself back unconscious
woke up for the last time back home having just hit send on a breakup email to momo.
(I bet you said some shit in there that you wish you hadn't said)
don't -- don't be a shit in my cut.
(I bet you said that uh, you were, um... an "oversexed lord of the dance" -- oh and that you'd always remember her not as a student, but as a kind of nourishment, like a momo salad or a momo burger)
how... how did you know that I... said those... things?
(momo sent copies of the breakup letter all over campus, everyone's read it. that is why you don't
fuck
students
right there)
GET OFF OF ME
I was drinking ghetto blasters all by myself
my girlfriend momo, who is way too young for me anyway, was in missouri visiting her parents
I knew I was gonna break it off with her when she got back to school, and I started thinking about all the sex that happens at every second around the world -- I mean right now people are out there, just... just going into each other
wearing out their knees. and I wanted to be one of 'em! so I said "fuck it" and went right down to the science department's big oppenheimer pinata party
there I was: whipping out fliff like a sultan! buying everyone whatever the fuck they desired
even trevor
oh and -- aw, shit man, aw listen, for real here
you know those hot quantum girls? they were laughing! because of me, man! causing them pleasure was killing me
and all those string theory dudes were there and they were way thrilled to see me
(even the one with the cheeto teeth?)
no, he was, well, y
but you know, lemondrops was cool for a change
(oh yeah. lemondrops.)
anyway, imagine me -- fliff! fliff! not even countin' it! and we danced, like those people in the hyper-tight light of fried chicken commercials
I was perfect. I was important, and funny, and helpful and seemingly rich, and I had the body of a heavy lifter!
it was like the part in the movies when the hero shows up at the end to get his hard-earned medal, and all his enemies in the crowd start to shrug off their grudges as they crack slow smiles, clapping their asses off for him! YEAH! man.
but right then, a fat hippie broke into a blistering james taylor cover, and I felt, down in my brain's heart, that the evening was about to shift into shittiness.
god. the world got mean really fast. death was hanging out, his buddies were there, hippies started pouring in, the girls were gone, and I was no one to everyone
I looked down, and I had the body... of a heavy reader
it makes you wonder if I was ever cool in the first place
(not me)
then, I blacked out for a bit
(natch)
woke up in a bar, watching a couple of striptease falcons
hating sex
hating booze
blacked out again, woke up in a car that was tokyo drifting everywhere
the driver was a punisher: a punisher of eyes. she whistled a john cage song and started asking me about wolves' balls. she presented a flask, and I took an oblivion-seeking slurp. immediately the potion made me wanna fuck stuff that I had never wanted to fuck before -- namely, her
she might have been a hellcattin' angel... or a really patient demon, because I could maybe see the light coming out through the seams in her human costume.
blacked out again, woke up in grappler school, wolfed some cookies, and I willed myself back unconscious
woke up for the last time back home having just hit send on a breakup email to momo.
(I bet you said some shit in there that you wish you hadn't said)
don't -- don't be a shit in my cut.
(I bet you said that uh, you were, um... an "oversexed lord of the dance" -- oh and that you'd always remember her not as a student, but as a kind of nourishment, like a momo salad or a momo burger)
how... how did you know that I... said those... things?
(momo sent copies of the breakup letter all over campus, everyone's read it. that is why you don't
fuck
students
right there)
GET OFF OF ME
World as Myth on
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This discussion has been closed.
Posts
SE is having a nervous breakdown
not even countin' it
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
This happens every so often; it's the natural decay of the internet.
It takes an artificial force (mods) to come in and steamshovel this mound of shit back together, so that it may be another few weeks before it crumbles again
go watch it
natch
It's like the meltdown thread was some eldritch incantation
By reading it we unleashed some ancient horror that is slowly eroding our sanity, creating the mess you see now
Nope, completely natural process
other, shittier forums lack a dedicated team of professionals to reconstruct everything after the fact
They're hot and ugly at the same time
Not really. See if this was presented even to a 2nd grade English teacher, it would have a big fat red F on it.
I think we should just have a bum wine and malt liquor night at PAX.
for one, it would be sweet as hell.
and number 2, I'm going to be broke as fuck. This is just because of tonight.
And you're going to sleep with my Husband.
Wizard People yes
Some of those flavored cheap ass malt liquors are actually kinda tasty. You just can't drink them too often because you'll die.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=57P9t_HD7M8
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
www.bumwine.com
pick your poison.
fliff fliff
one time one of my friends thought a great theme for a party would be cheap hobo wine.
let me tell you now that it wasn't a great theme at all.
Or do I?
The trick is to have enough good stuff to get you started, then the quality of the rest of it doesn't matter.
Man, I worked at a liquor store for a couple years and every month we had a preacher who would come in and buy a case of wild irish rose for "communion".
I'm pretty sure I have
the fliff fliff not even countin' it part rings a bell or two but I'll be damned if I can remember when or where I've seen it