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Ah the "h" word. *LOCK*
planters
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm going to try to make this short as possible.
Few months back, my ex got diagnosed with herpes 2 the doctors said it was a primary infection, I got tested I came back positive for type 1 and negative for type 2. She swore she didn't do anything to get it, and I didn't do anything before her. Now she says I gave it to her and that type 1 turned into 2, my question is: is that possible? and possible for me not to get type 2 even though I supposedly gave it to someone?
Few months back, my ex got diagnosed with herpes 2 the doctors said it was a primary infection, I got tested I came back positive for type 1 and negative for type 2. She swore she didn't do anything to get it, and I didn't do anything before her. Now she says I gave it to her and that type 1 turned into 2, my question is: is that possible? and possible for me not to get type 2 even though I supposedly gave it to someone?
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Do you have sores? Just because you test positive for HSV antibodies, you are do not necessarily have HSV, although you probably had it in the past. If you tested positive for HSV-1 antibodies, all that means is you got a cold sore once.
If your girlfriend has HSV-2, and you tested negative for it, chances are close to 100% she got it from someone else. Keep in mind in the US 1-in-5 men have HSV-2, and you may not develop sores for years after you are infected. So basically, if your girlfriend ever had sex with anyone else, they could be the source.
There are multiple forms of herpes. If one partner has one type, and one partner has another, they didn't get it from each other.
Or trust Runn1ngman, because they really are two different things. Herpes isn't herpes. I have a cat that has cat herpes; I'm not going to get cat herpes from him. And there's 3 different common strains of influenza, and you can get vaccinated for one and still get one of the others. Your girl got it from someone else, but may have had it for a long time and never even realized it. Just because she has it doesn't mean she's fooling around or anything.
HSV-1 and HSV-2 are two different strains of the herpes virus. They are not specific to the location of infection.
HSV-1 is more often found in the mouth but can infect the genitals.
HSV-2 is more often found in the genitals but can infect the mouth.
You can transfer either virus from either location to the other location.
It is not possible for HSV-1 to turn into HSV-2. However, tests can be wrong. It is always best to get more than one test a few weeks apart to be absolutely sure.
Also, there are different types of test. The most accurate, but most expensive and rarest, form of test is the PCR. If you can get a PCR test, do it, but it might not be possible depending on your insurance and where you live.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
she had sores down under, and got them checked out and turns out it was a primary infection of type 2, but I don't see how I could give something I don't have. I told her I don't think it's possible for type 1 to just turn into something else, she insisted that she "did research" that showed that. When I asked how come I didn't get it the answer was type 1 prevents type 2. Makes lots of sense....
I've gotten a few cold sores but nothing ever down there, so I don't see how I could be carrying it for 19 years and not see any signs.
EDIT: What other ways could someone get it besides being sexually transmitted?
End of story.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
There is the whole myth of getting it from a toilet seat, but I believe the common view is that while its theoretically possible, its probably a one in a billion shot. She could have touched someone's sores and then touched herself. Thats a possible way to get it. She could have have kissed someone who had type 2 in the mouth and then spit on her cooch... She could have worn panties recently worn by a prostitute that just had sex with someone and was all nasty like.
In the end, you should break up. These are the reasons: one, you will get type 2 eventually if you keep having sex. If you really love her then that shouldnt stop you. Two, she probably was with someone else.
Mouth-to-mouth, genital-to-genital, or genital-to-mouth contact only.
Sometimes an infected mother can transmit it to her child during birth.
If she's the really kinky type, sharing a sex toy immediately might transmit it, but that's never been confirmed. (In any case, it's not a good idea to share sex toys if you're into that kind of scene.)
That's about it.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
what? it's herpes, man. they'll survive. you can have herpes and never know about it; you can have it and it's a minor irritation for a couple of days a year. she's probably telling the truth and trying to understand what happened herself. it's not like when you're infected a neon sign pops out of your undies saying 'you got herped!', so she's right not to be sure.
basically unless you're hugely bothered by the fact she might have had sex before she met you, don't worry about this.
First off, the OP is talking about his ex, not his current girlfriend.
Secondly, just in case somebody else is reading this who is in (or considering) a relationship with an HSV-positive partner, this isn't good advice. Herpes is a manageable condition, and is very very common in the adult sexually active population. It's estimated to be present in around 1 in 4 sexually active adults which means if you date other people enough you will eventually be exposed to it. Most people who have it don't know they have it. Exposure to HSV if you're actively dating people is a "when," not an "if."
The chances of asymptomatic, male-to-female transmission through condoms in a committed relationship are actually extremely low. In addition, if somebody is positive for herpes, they can take antivirals (usually a drug called Valtrex) that suppresses both outbreaks and transmission, further reducing the chances of infection.
If you put all of these together, the chances of a man acquiring herpes from his long-term girlfriend is somewhere around 1-2% per year having sex 2-3 times a week. When you figure that just picking up somebody from a party or a dating website carries a 25% chance that your new friend has herpes anyway, it's not really something to get paranoid about.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I'm guessing that "anything" in this sentence means "sexual intercourse" and/or "oral sex". Like everyone else in the thread has said, it's possible for herpes to be transmitted by kissing. If I were in your position, I wouldn't necessarily take her word that she hadn't done "anything" with anyone else before or after your relationship. She might be saying that to cover for cheating, she might be trying to make herself look less sexually experienced than she actually is, or she might be erroneously thinking that herpes can only be transmitted by sexual intercourse or oral sex. That said, when you talk to her about it, don't assume anything, and don't be judgmental.
If you're 100% certain that you only have HSV-1 and she only has HSV-2, and that neither of you could have contracted the viruses from anyone else, you should both get retested. If the tests come back with the same results, it's theoretically possible that one or both of you contracted the viruses from your respective mothers during pregnancy, in which case, oh god, you might need to talk to your mom about herpes.
Thank you everyone for your help, greatly appreciated it.