Should I be worried? (Girlfriend trouble - Pictures yay!)(Dragon Slain)

Desert_Eagle25

Manguy wrote: »

Trowizilla wrote: »

There's another possibility here: you mention that "I tend to make friends with everyone I meet, people like me." You sound like an outgoing, extroverted, fun guy; nothing wrong with that, but it's very, very, very hard to constantly be in the shadow of the life of the party. It's possible that she sees it like this: when she's starting to make a new friend, going at her natural, slower pace, they meet you. You're easier to make friends with than she is, and so they become your friend, and she's now "my friend's girlfriend." Feeling like an accessory is pretty shitty.

She may also feel like your more extroverted personality overpowers hers when you hang out with people as a couple, so their attention naturally turns toward you. Going out when you feel like you have to fight for attention isn't fun for anyone.

Either way, I wouldn't jump to "something fishy is going on." When people make new friends, they often want to spend lots of time with their new friends; this will likely taper off. Once she feels like she's established herself in her group, you can push to get invited along, but this particular circle of friends may not be one where people generally bring their significant others along. Thus far, it's only been two weeks; give her some time.

Oh, and if you want to spend time with her, make specific plans. Expecting her to stay at home waiting for you isn't fair. Make a specific date to go out and do something fun. If she breaks it last-minute because her new friends want to go party, you've got problems, but right now it just looks like she's enjoying having her own friends.

After I talked to her about it for a while this seemed to be the most logical conclusion to the whole situation. Before reading this post I mentioned to her that I was cool with her going out, but that I think we should plan some things together, and that I'd like to meet the people at least once. All the parties, from what I hear were largely based on people getting back to school, celebrating the end of summer, which does a tidy job of explaining why so many all at once.

When it came to the picture, she mentioned that she had been around that guy (whom she works with) very little that night, but that he had always seemed like a hermit, controlled by his mother (who oddly also works in the same place). They just wanted him to have a good time. From what I got out of our talk, she is a lot like me when I drink with friends, almost flirtatious, but without intent...

I told her that if she told me I could trust her then I would, but that I'd have to meet these friends to trust them.

After we talked, I went out of my way to get a hold of the guy in the picture, invited him to come over some time and play some MTG (Magic the Gathering, which we both play). I figure that we can get friendly without being friends, per say, and that this is a good step in to quelling my fears.

This is what being in a relationship is about, and I know that. I can't sit by and see what looks to be someone walk away with no explanation, but at a certain point, you have to take their word for it and put in some faith.

With all that being said and done, I accept what she's telling me as the truth, but not without a layer of mistrust sprinkled lightly over the cake of love that we share. Regardless I'll be on the lookout for more warning signs, so if something else pops up, and the something else again, I'll be on my toes.

Thanks for all your help and advice, guys and gals. Hopefully you won't see me posting a similar thread any time soon

The dragon has been slayed! All hail the king!

acidlacedpenguin

Right on.

I was just coming in to recommend the typical Hollywood jealous boyfriend approach. Storm in fists flying only to find out he's just some dude, and its all a big ironic misunderstanding. Then you laugh it off and while you don't become friends you do end up respecting each other.

Maybe next time :_(.

Richard_Dastardly

I'd hire a P.I. just in case.

Demosthorn

The thing that makes this a really good ending is that your playing Magic the Gathering with the dude. That is awesome.

Lacroix

I'd hire a P.I. just in case.

Oh how I wish that you are serious... and that I knew you. Because that is all kinds of awesome... insane... but awesome.

Fucking Steve

Desert_Eagle25 wrote: »

Don't be her emotional crutch. I personally say your only option is (a). You need her to know that shit isn't the center of your universe, and that you can move on without her. Remember what I said, you need to be relaxed, calm, and think through EVERYTHING you say. Make it a habit to stop and stop and think about everything you want to say, and don't. You cannot let your words betray how you really feel. She needs to be iced out, because she's icing YOU out. Be concise, and stick to small, simple statements, nothing dramatic or drawn out. Be in and out. Again, her reaction will tell you the truth.

Ok, I signed up just to ask you what the fuck does "icing" mean?


2 YEARS LATER...

To the emo kid who's down with his girlfriend posting drunk pics on facebook: Probably didn't last more than a month or 2 after that, huh?

Slider

*edit* Incredibly old thread. Didn't notice. Sorry.

Fagatron

It would actually be kind of interesting to hear what happened after...