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My ass is killing me

AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin KoopantinoRegistered User regular
edited September 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
Goddamn I hate hemorrhoids. It feels like there is a damn Lego brick stuck in my ass.

Any advice on how to relieve the discomfort? Preparation H didn't do shit, just made it sting. Sitz baths don't do shit either. WebMD is little to no help. It basically just says "don't poop so hard."

Help, please!

cs6f034fsffl.jpg
AbsoluteZero on

Posts

  • ErandusErandus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Find some way to fashion a makeshift Squat Toilet, like this one.

    Apparently they work really well.
    Wikipedia wrote:
    Dr. Berko Sikirov, published a study testing this hypothesis by having hemorrhoid sufferers convert to squat toilets. Eighteen of the 20 patients were completely relieved of their symptoms (pain and bleeding) with no recurrence, even 30 months after completion of the study.

    Erandus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Hmm... that might help, but my problem stems more from my job which involves long periods of standing and lots of heavy lifting.

    AbsoluteZero on
    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
  • ErandusErandus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Get a back brace and some really really comfortable work shoes/boots.

    Erandus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • TrowizillaTrowizilla Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Get some stool softener.

    Also, witch hazel is good for shrinking hemorrhoids. Just put some on a cotton pad and apply.

    Trowizilla on
  • ErandusErandus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Make sure you get stool softener and not laxatives.

    Erandus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    What is witch hazel, exactly?

    AbsoluteZero on
    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
  • DaenrisDaenris Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    It's an astringent. Used for shrinking things down, like hemorrhoids, insect bites, acne, etc.

    You can probably find it in a drug/convenience store.

    Daenris on
  • mad4drpeppermad4drpepper Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    AbsoluteZero wrote: »
    What is witch hazel, exactly?

    Nature's cure for everything aparently
    o_O
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch_hazel_(astringent)

    Edit:

    Okay... make sure that you use wet wipes for a while (they have a flushable brand now too). Dry wiping will only serve to irritate your problem and could end up making the whole ordeal worse.

    mad4drpepper on
    Making the world taste better one can at a time. :winky:
  • DalbozDalboz Resident Puppy Eater Right behind you...Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    AbsoluteZero wrote: »
    What is witch hazel, exactly?
    Hazel0149.jpg

    Okay, others answer that one more correctly.

    On to the actual subject, I know it's a little greasy, but have you consider A&D Ointment? It's sort of like a medicated vaseline that's supposed to aid in healing. It's kind of like chapstick for your anus.

    Dalboz on
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  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    AbsoluteZero wrote: »
    Goddamn I hate hemorrhoids. It feels like there is a damn Lego brick stuck in my ass.

    Any advice on how to relieve the discomfort? Preparation H didn't do shit, just made it sting. Sitz baths don't do shit either. WebMD is little to no help. It basically just says "don't poop so hard."

    Help, please!
    Yea stop getting butt fucked, then your ass won't hurt.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I'm a little dubious of ointments since Prep H just seems to set my ass on fire rather than doing anything beneficial. Is there any way to speed up the healing process, here?

    AbsoluteZero on
    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
  • mad4drpeppermad4drpepper Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    AbsoluteZero wrote: »
    I'm a little dubious of ointments since Prep H just seems to set my ass on fire rather than doing anything beneficial. Is there any way to speed up the healing process, here?


    Not that I am aware of. Nothing short of going to the doc and having them surgically removed anyways:|

    mad4drpepper on
    Making the world taste better one can at a time. :winky:
  • mkeller7340mkeller7340 Registered User new member
    Dude that is sooo funny! Im experiecing the same thing and when i read ur post it hurt to laugh. I went to the er b/c it hurts so bad. They gave me some sepositories. Wtf? My butt hurts so bad and u want me to shove something n there?? Omg i think i need a shot of something strong.

  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Metamucil or a similar fiber supplement could help, will at least lessen the pressure of the process

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
This discussion has been closed.
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