As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options
*snip*
Apogee
Lancks In Every Game EverRegistered User regular
Lancks In Every Game EverRegistered User regular
*cut for personal info*
Apogee on
0
Posts
I think that if you could get her away and its the two of you things would be much better. However because she's been in this habitat that is very controlled and habitual she will continue to do the same to you until she can get away from that family. Only once she is away from that family can things change between the two of you.
If none of that is an option my only advice is to break up with her, but at the moment I cannot say I want to give that advice because I just don't know enough about the situation. 5.5 years together is a long time and I would be destroyed if I had to throw that away.
Shogun Streams Vidya
that's just weird. get away from there!
!!!!▓▓▓▓▓Gravy?▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!
!!!!!!▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!!!!
of doom
Red flag.
Huge red flag.
Guilting you into staying with her when you made plans with your buddies. It'd be different if you guys had plans, but you didn't. You need to explain to her that this won't fly. If she won't understand, well, then you have a bigger issue than her family is insane.
If a girl friend won't let you go to a freaking warhammer tournament she is not right for you.
It's not like you were going out drinking all night or to a strip club or gambling. But freaking warhammer. You would be gone like 6 -8 hours. She and her parents need to get real.
And yeah being a professional in a suit and saying you work at a bank I'm sure has advantages with the ladies. Take advantage of this while you are still young Or regret it like hell 10 years from now when you are getting yelled at for nothing at thanksgiving with her nut ball family.
on a less awful note
I wouldn't exactly say RUN, unless stuff like her not letting you go out happens often. Or more than once or twice ever. She could have just wanted you to hang out with her and not wanted to explain it to you. If you want to be with this girl, explain to her that if she wants to take your relationship seriously, she needs to.. not be part of that family. Not necessarily cut all ties, just get out of the house. It's amazing how much more tolerable someone can be when you don't live with them.
I also agree with Limp Moose, sure you might get her out of her home and living with you, but you'll always have that family in her life, and you'll always have to deal with it.
I dont really see a great many benefits to sticking with this, it sounds like you're going to have to sacrifice a lot of personal happiness and freedoms to be with this girl long term. Why do you want to stay with her? I'm sure there are reasons, right? Consider if those reasons are as strong as you think they are, try to be objective. Is it just because you've fallen into a comfort zone? For all i know she may have enough positive qualities to outweigh all the bad things about and related to her. Thats what you need to weigh up.
Something people seem to fail to understand, at least in my experience, is that just because somebody is a "good" person or "attractive" for some laundry list of reasons doesn't necessarily mean you should date. If you're not feeling fulfilled in the relationship, and it feels like more work than pleasure, I don't think it's at all out of line to have your mind wander to greener pastures. Long relationships have their lulls, but you have to decide if it's just a lull or something more.
The situation you describe, with the family, and especially with controlling, guilt-tripping behavior like in this episode, is not good. At the very try to make change by having her move in with you, otherwise it might require an even more drastic change than that.
(I say the following with manly, brotherly love.)
No. No no no no no. Everything I've quoted above is wrong. Her parents are not the problem. Her sister is not the problem. The problem is her, and you. Her parents are super controlling? Horseshit. She is an adult. She can go where ever she likes, whenever she likes. Period. You two adults actually lie to her parents about going out? You've got to be shitting me. Whatever hold they have on her, financial or whatever, she lets them have. She is making the choice that whatever it is that they will take away if she leaves is worth it. That is her choice, and she is responsible for the consequences.
And you are responsible for letting yourself get caught up in the bullshit. You get caught up in their arguments about what she's doing? You can leave at any time. It's not your responsibility to protect your girlfriend from the ridiculous situation that she's decided to put herself in. You feel controlled? No one controls you. You let yourself be controlled.
You actually sat around while your girl did a science project? Come the fuck on, man! She was being incredibly selfish. How about "Baby, I love you, but not enough to sit on my ass while you do a science project. I'm off to a tourney, see you at dinner!" For that matter, how about "I love you baby, but your family is fucking crazy. I won't stay at that house for more than five minutes from now on." When the parents ask where you're going, fucking tell them, smile, and walk out the door. You're not children. Be respectful, and demand respect in return. And whatever the hell her parents are giving your girl, it's not worth it man.
You do a good job of making it sound like it, but...
you may only be seeing the tip of the iceberg right now. People entering medical careers have enough trouble balancing school/work and personal time/relationships, even when their home life hasn't been so... epic. Can see her finding independence and balance while the school pressure keeps increasing?
(Side note, your love life isn't really like a Wheel of Time novel until you've found three new girls who don't mind sharing you :winky: )