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Apparently i'm a closet racist /sarcasm
YourFatAuntSusan
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, I was just completely taken by surprise. We were talking about how Barack Obama is taking a break from the campaign trail to go visit his sick grandma and I said “Oh, what a nice boyâ€. You know, like a grandmother would say it and people suddenly freaked the fuck out spouting how it was racist and I should never call anyone a “boy†again.
Is calling someone a “boy†is a racist term now?
Is calling someone a “boy†is a racist term now?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
YourFatAuntSusan on
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Yes, with the long history of patronizing epithets for black people, it does come off racist to call a black man "boy." Not to say that you're racist, just that you said something that gets taken that way. If I were you, I'd start thinking more about what I say before I say it, just in case your words might have a connotation you didn't mean.
I posted because I think it's ridiculous.
IMO in this context it's fine. This sounds like people just being super conscious of racial terminology. You should definitely keep it in mind in the future of course, but referring to a grandson taking care of his grandmother? I'd say you're fine.
EDIT: Yeah I really don't subscribe to Trowizilla's 'be super cautious about what you say in case of accidentally offending people' thing at all. Many words have many different meanings and it was definitely obvious of your intent from the context you'd provided.
@gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
"You're asking for a hurtin', boy," would be racist.
"What a nice boy," is not.
However since he's a grown man and no longer a boy, despite the analogous use for boy and man in description of someone's sex, I'd pick a better description. That said, I'd find new people to hang around with if they're going to get that crazy.
In this instance you used "boy" where you meant "young man", where as those around you interpretted "boy" as "n*****".
Yeah, a white person directly addressing an adult minority male (particularly a black man) as "boy" could be construed as racist; it does depend upon context and how you say it.
For example, "that boy ain't right" probably wouldn't be considered racist no matter who said it nor whom it was referring to. :P
I don't see it, and the fact that every subtle thing that is said about Mr. Obama these days is thrown way out of proportion just leads me to believe they were out to criticize every white guy out there for any thing they say. The media propagates this crap, I won't say anything differently around a black guy, white guy, mexican, or otherwise. If it was McCain you would have said the same thing and it would not have mattered, so it does not matter with Obama.
You are fine, the people around you are oversensitive.
You're not his grandmother. You're not old enough to even hypothetically be his grandmother unless you're like 110, in which case you should get off the internet and call the Guinness Book of World Records.
As others have pointed out, yes, "boy" does carry clear connotations when addressed to a black man of any age. It doesn't need to be threatening or insulting to be offensive, either - you just try walking up to a 40 year old black guy in St. Louis and telling him "Hey, boy, those are some mighty fine shoes! Where'd you get them?"
Even without that, though, it's an inappropriate way to refer to a middle-aged man of any race, colour, or creed, because they're not boys.
But I'm a good ol' southern boy.
Oh shit....
Same situation, but instead its a girl saying "hey boy, your damn good lookin'" and bam its alright, people are just too damn sensative.
Being a non-white adult male, and having been on the receiving end of "boy" directed in an unfriendly way, I can attest that at the least it's demeaning, and it can also feel quite threatening.
"boy" is a condescending term for any adult male but you didn't say it in an offensive manner. If you said this in public, I would've considered this a definite risk though, because the world is a cup of half and half, some people have a tight grip on the racist/politically correct/grammar lever. Next time just laugh at how short sided they were in taking you're statement out of context.
Obviously it's not something you'd say around just anyone, just because of the fact that it has to be discussed this way.
I knew you could attack a guy's manlihood by calling him "boy" the same way you'd call him "kid" or whatever. That being said I do think that some people are a little bit too sensitive considering that people come from different backgrounds. Heck the biggest culture class in my community was and still is between french and english speaking people (I live on the Ontario/Quebec border in a french rural community)
I'm aware of the racist use of the term, but in my experience it can be said in a friendly manner or an insulting manner and the latter can be used regardless of the target's ethnicity.
omg racist
People around you need to relax a bit, some people (like us it seems) don't discriminate, in any way, based on race.
Really? REALLY?
I think whoever you were with was being too sensitive. I mean, obviously there's no question that taken a certain way, boy is racist. But so are many things. You were just trying to be funny/sarcastic. I might have said it too. People need to get the stick out of their ass.
Someone is closely associated with someone, or spends a lot of time with them, I'll frequently say...
"Where's your boy at?"
or any variation of that. Never had it twisted to be racist, it's just a way to refer to their friend.
Look, you didn't mean to say something offensive, so you get points for that, but something came out of your mouth that is definitely offensive to plenty of people. Grandmothers call grown men "boys" sometimes, but to pretend that it's okay for you to say it without getting called on the racist implications is pretty ridiculous. Just say "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way" and move on.
It's only offensive if you completely ignore the context of what he said.
I don't think you meant to be racist, but I can also see how it could be taken as such in the current climate, and I think it's possible that your friends were just trying to warn you because you didn't seem to know, hence the shock, and not anger.
"Boy" when applied to a black man, generally by a white person, is absolutely a racist term. Have you been living under a rock?
You being a fine example of the aforementioned people who love to be offended.
Listen, the way you used this is fine. Yeah, maybe it came close to being racist because "boy" can be racist, but people are trying to call you out for something you didn't do. Tell your friends to knock it off, I'd say.
Yes, the usage in the past has had racist connotations. No you didnt mean it that way.
No you're not a racist.
I advise against changing this.
I also advise using this new knowledge of yours to avoid offending your overly-sensitive friends.
Should I start flipping the fuck out when people talk about the Potato famine and Leprechauns now? I mean it's alright and all, since Irish weren't allowed to have jobs simply because they were Irish.
GM: Rusty Chains (DH Ongoing)
So for the word to be racist has to be a certain race applying it towards a person of a specific different race. Shit isn't that racist in and of itself?
Perhaps if the person was wearing Confederate Flag boxer shorts and dancing about in front of a black person saying "Shine my shoes boy or go pick up some cotton", then I could see racism, but not particularly in the use of the word boy.
So I guess I'll just go back under my rock because this sounds like nonsense to me.
Then again, I have carefully gleaned this knowledge from watching 'Wild Wild West' with the Fresh Prince; theres an exchange between Jim and the evil Doc which I think runs through most of the non-N-word racial lexicon, so ymmv.
In the 'people can be retarded' vein, I got tagged as being rascist once because I was talking about one of my students, lets call him Lloyd. When asked which one, I went through a whole bucnh of descriptors, about yae high, wears glasses, super freindly- blank stare. 'He's black.' I said, as Lloyd was the only black guy in class. 'You can't say that! It's racist!'.
But.. but! God, people can so differently abled sometimes. Oh wait I mean special. I .. wait. Fuck.
Of course context matters when you're talking about race. For the record, I don't think the OP is actually racist, just somewhat thoughtless. And, of course, some people are more sensitive about this sort of thing than others. For example, some gay people use the word "fag" casually and don't mind if their straight friends do, but saying "fag" in public is going to tag you as being homophobic in plenty of people's eyes.
If a British dude came over here and, in reference to smoking, said "Man, I really hate those fags," I would expect people to clue him in that he'd just unintentionally said something that sounded homophobic.
In other words, it's a step up from "property." Barely. It's equivalent to using the term "uppity" in relation to a black person -- it doesn't "sound" offensive, but only because you're not paying attention to your history.
In this particular case, the person was probably overreacting. But, why did you say "boy" instead of "son"? Why not "man"? He's older than you are.
A lot of the apologists for stuff like this is like saying "Gee, I didn't know calling someone colored was offensive. My grandma's been using the term colored since I was a kid, and I don't generally see colored folk around here." You didn't mean it to be offensive, which is fine. But claiming ignorance just makes you ignorant.
Normally I would think it would be silly to remind everyone that the word "boy" has many different uses, but I guess that's needed here.
Yes, but let's not confuse a slang term with a word defined and used like this quite readily. Usually people use boy as an analog to male, guy, whatever. This is way too PC for the intent of the phrase. Intent of the phrase should take precedent over some backwater racial slur.
Trow, I usually agree with you about 99.9% of the time. I'm afraid that this is one of those times that I don't. Like others have said the word "boy" has more then one use. I used to work in Baltimore City and had a few acquaintances of around the same age that were African American, and I referred to them as "my boys" and they referred to me the same way. I have also seen people use "boy" in a racial context before as well. When that happens, the person being offensive tends to use a lot of emphasis on that word.
Semi related question: I'm white; my son is mixed w/ black and white. Can I call him my boy? (I do regardless)
He's not even thoughtless. It's ridiculously obvious that the statement was made in complete innocence, and anyone who has a problem with it is either a gigantic PC pussy or reading way too much into it.