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should my friends pay me back?
Wandering Star
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So this is kind of an etiquette question. Two of my friends got married a few months ago, and I crocheted yarmulkes for the men of the wedding party and some other family members. My friends insisted many times that I should go ahead and buy nice yarn and they would reimburse me for the supplies, (which were about $50) but they never did. They didn't even ask how much I spent. I know the whole issue of the yarmulkes didn't just slip their mind though, because they have brought them up before saying how nice they were (which would have been the perfect time to ask for the money, but silly me, I kept waiting for them to offer) I gave them generous wedding gifts, and it just bugs me that they didn't keep good on this one particular promise. I don't know if that's just petty and selfish of me.
I'm out of a job right now and every little bit of money helps. Even so, $50 is not that big of a deal, so I'm wondering if I should just let it go. If I do ask for the money, is there a decent way to bring it up? Any advice would be wonderful, thanks.
I'm out of a job right now and every little bit of money helps. Even so, $50 is not that big of a deal, so I'm wondering if I should just let it go. If I do ask for the money, is there a decent way to bring it up? Any advice would be wonderful, thanks.
We can't play math rock in 4/4, dude.
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Try not to take it personally, because invariably the more upset you get about something like this, the more probable it is that they really did forget about it, and they you end up feeling like an ass.
Yes, they should pay you back if that was the deal. If they're your friends then you may not want to push the issue much further beyond that.
Fixed.
Well, the whole waiting for them to bring it up because if they weren't jerks they would have remembered thing is pretty passive-aggressive--especially if they really forgot. There's about a million things going on in a wedding and I could definitely see someone forgetting whether they gave you $50. So don't take it personally that they haven't paid you back, and definitely don't mention to them that you think they've been avoiding it.
Well sure, that too. But I just have a general rule of not pushing money issues with friends unless you are prepared to fall out with them.
This is why friends should generally not owe each other money if at all possible.
Meh, responsible friends can deal with it well using nominal amounts of money. Like, "Hey, I left my wallet at home, spot me for lunch?" Not like, "Hey, I'm unemployed, can I borrow a couple grand to float me for awhile?"
Just say "Hey, could you pay me back for that yarn? I'm a bit broke right now, so it'd be great if you could get that to me soon." It's only a big deal if you make it one.
This should be a basic rule for anyone. I follow this 100%. If a friend needs money I never loan it; I just give it and basically just say that I don't want it back. I also wouldn't give a friend more then 30 or 40 dollars unless they were pretty desperate, just because anything more than that becomes a loan that they feel like they have to pay you back and if they need to borrow it that bad it's not coming back. I also live in Michigan and the economy is desperately bad.
Yeah my parents taught me this too, and it's a stupid rule. Or maybe it only applies to a certain age bracket. I and my friends have borrowed from each other hundreds of euros at a time whenever someone needed it (freelance jobs) and it's never been a problem. Maybe a better rule would be that you should make sure your friends are really your friends?
An even better rule of thumb might be to never give anyone a bigger loan than what you can afford to lose. edit: if banks followed this rule our economies wouldn't periodically crash.
But none of that has ANYTHING to do with the topic at hand.
I recommend following up on it in the same manner that other posters have.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
EDIT (edited for melodrama) Reading over responses and thinking about the issue made me realize there is so much more to this than just the money or whatever. It has to do with other things that have happened in the past that I guess I still resent, and I'll have to deal with that. But yeah, no need to make a big deal of this particular issue, I'll just ask for the money and I'm sure it will be fine. As far as I'm concerned the thread can be locked cause this particular issue is really simple. Thanks again, everyone, for the advice.