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Dating "problem" with a twist!
FlamingPineapple
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey all, I figured this may be a good place to go to get some viewpoints on my current love life...confusion. The twist is that I am female. I know the majority here are d00ds, and around my age (23)...so that may come in handy.
The basic question is: how long should I wait for a call/e-mail/text after a date that went seemingly well?
Just to note, I did actually send a text massage last night telling the guy I was available this weekend to hang out and to call me if he's free. I kinda wussed out on calling him because it was a Friday night and it was right before I planned on going to bed (I work odd hours).
Background info:
He (age 25) and I went on a date a week ago exactly. We had only talked on the phone two times previously and we met through a dating site where he had posted the ad (it was a pretty well thought-out ad and noted he was interested in something serious if he found someone he clicked with, not just continuous casual dating). We exchanged a few e-mails and we seemed to have a fair amount in common so we figured meeting up was a good idea to see if there was any chemistry. We went out for a late lunch around 2:30 or so and then proceeded just to talk the rest of the time both while getting coffee and in a parking lot (sorta a long story on that part). I think I ended up coming home around 8:30- 9:00 or so that night. I am not sure if I need to give specifics on the "signals" he was giving or not. It seemed he was pretty interested as was I so we both mentioned meeting up again "definitely" without setting up concrete plans. Before I left in my car he pulled me in for a kiss which was honestly a nice surprise because it seemed like him doing this gave an even clearer indication he wanted to see me again and wasn't just trying to be nice when he talked about it. Do I sound a little insecure? Most likely, but I feel like some of that has to do with my horrible luck I've had lately with men.
Soooo, here I am, a week later and no call or text or what have you. I realize a week isn't all that long but I am just really perplexed at the mixed signals. Is it normal for a guy to wait more than a week to contact a female after a first date where I was pretty clearly into him? Do you think he's just a bit insecure and is waiting for me to track him down? Also, I am not naive and I realize it's possible he was only interested in getting into my pants but this seems unlikely because I actually admitted I wasn't interested in doing that so fast...I have before (when interested in actually dating the guy) only to have it backfire horribly. When I admitted that he didn't seem all that let down and we continued talking for a good while after that point. Also, his ad he posted really painted him to want something serious and it seemed a bit lengthy for it to be just a ploy to get laid (but really, I am not sure what to expect anymore...)
Do people really give out kisses (you know, with tongue...and a little groping...) to people they aren't interested in at all? Am I deluding myself into thinking he was a "good guy" when he probably only wanted to screw around? Do I need to give him another few days to come around? Any thoughts are welcome. I am pretty annoyed by this so I think I am gonna go to the gym for a bit to get this stupid girly crap off my mind.
Annnnnnd, a preemptive strike-- I am at least "average" looking, so there's that. I don't think posting pics to prove this is exactly the best idea though. :P
The basic question is: how long should I wait for a call/e-mail/text after a date that went seemingly well?
Just to note, I did actually send a text massage last night telling the guy I was available this weekend to hang out and to call me if he's free. I kinda wussed out on calling him because it was a Friday night and it was right before I planned on going to bed (I work odd hours).
Background info:
He (age 25) and I went on a date a week ago exactly. We had only talked on the phone two times previously and we met through a dating site where he had posted the ad (it was a pretty well thought-out ad and noted he was interested in something serious if he found someone he clicked with, not just continuous casual dating). We exchanged a few e-mails and we seemed to have a fair amount in common so we figured meeting up was a good idea to see if there was any chemistry. We went out for a late lunch around 2:30 or so and then proceeded just to talk the rest of the time both while getting coffee and in a parking lot (sorta a long story on that part). I think I ended up coming home around 8:30- 9:00 or so that night. I am not sure if I need to give specifics on the "signals" he was giving or not. It seemed he was pretty interested as was I so we both mentioned meeting up again "definitely" without setting up concrete plans. Before I left in my car he pulled me in for a kiss which was honestly a nice surprise because it seemed like him doing this gave an even clearer indication he wanted to see me again and wasn't just trying to be nice when he talked about it. Do I sound a little insecure? Most likely, but I feel like some of that has to do with my horrible luck I've had lately with men.
Soooo, here I am, a week later and no call or text or what have you. I realize a week isn't all that long but I am just really perplexed at the mixed signals. Is it normal for a guy to wait more than a week to contact a female after a first date where I was pretty clearly into him? Do you think he's just a bit insecure and is waiting for me to track him down? Also, I am not naive and I realize it's possible he was only interested in getting into my pants but this seems unlikely because I actually admitted I wasn't interested in doing that so fast...I have before (when interested in actually dating the guy) only to have it backfire horribly. When I admitted that he didn't seem all that let down and we continued talking for a good while after that point. Also, his ad he posted really painted him to want something serious and it seemed a bit lengthy for it to be just a ploy to get laid (but really, I am not sure what to expect anymore...)
Do people really give out kisses (you know, with tongue...and a little groping...) to people they aren't interested in at all? Am I deluding myself into thinking he was a "good guy" when he probably only wanted to screw around? Do I need to give him another few days to come around? Any thoughts are welcome. I am pretty annoyed by this so I think I am gonna go to the gym for a bit to get this stupid girly crap off my mind.
Annnnnnd, a preemptive strike-- I am at least "average" looking, so there's that. I don't think posting pics to prove this is exactly the best idea though. :P
FlamingPineapple on
0
Posts
infact it was my first spoon
now I feel dirty
I wouldn't bother with the guy, just move on and find someone who is actually an OK human being, this may be hard, but it will be worth it.
(Sometimes I don't get text messages until days after they've been sent. Very infuriating.)
A week is a good amount of time, you contacted him via text, if he decides not to take it any farther don't think nothing of him. He maybe kissed you to actually confirm if he -wanted- to take it further in the future.
It's kind of lame for him to leave you hanging to be honest, and if he even DID contact you again you wouldn't want these sort of things to keep happening in the future. I'd keep that in mind.
Off to the gym finally. Thanks for the input everyone.
Considering they met through a dating website, I would assume that they know each others e-mail.
i had a girl do that to me in college and it totally turned me off because it gave me a glimpse into the crazies she had*
that one didn't last very long.
i say wait til monday , call no text, and leave it at that.
*
this. maybe i am a traditional kind of guy but i dont think women should follow up. men should. men should have the choice to call and women should have the choice to say yes or no. of course this is my opinion and does not represent how other men feel but you already waited a week and SMSed him so if he doesn't call back, don't bother calling. maybe he is not interested anymore... just let it go and be happy that this happened after just one date, so you have saved yourself the time.
best of luck to you..